My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

the bottom of the museum of human history

You're telling me a gar* licked this bread?

*a North American freshwater fish of the family Lepisosteidae

a collection

give me your most controversial music opinion

popular "average monkey learns one new thing a day" statistic incorrect. Curious Georg,

introducing.... the WORKIN' BOYS.

this episode killed me. celia is a MOTHER? sam used to VAUGEPOST? gwen is literally JONATHAN SIMS? lena is basically ELIAS BOUCHARD? SOME OF THEM ARE BENEVOLENT?????????

MAJOR S5 SPOILERS - TMA

I made this and now I’m in shambles. Also, the audio is really loud. I am so sorry.

I present to you: The best/worst JonMartin scenes

Song: As The World Caves In - Matt Maltese

Edit: PEOPLE KEEP CRYING AND CURSING ME OUT, I AM SO NOT SORRY

thinking about how like. as a kid growing up in the light-polluted suburbs, space was always somewhere else. it was in the eyepiece of a telescope, star clusters and the andromeda galaxy and the orion nebula (good luck seeing any other galaxies or nebulae from suburbia) all faint and fuzzy, and outside the eyepiece, nothing. just a handful of stars in a not-that-dark sky. it was either that or look up hubble pics

i knew, in theory, that the night sky was space. but in practice i found that hard to believe since the sky i could see barely resembled the wonders of the cosmos described to me in documentaries or books. that telescope eyepiece was like a gateway into another world where faint hints of these things really did exist, because they didn't exist in my sky

and then i started going to dark sky sites, and it's all just. there. it's real. you can just see the plane of our galaxy with its star clouds and dust lanes

one time, a friend and i stopped in the middle of nowhere in kansas on the way back from a road trip. it was the darkest and most remote night sky i've ever seen. she pointed to a fuzzy little cloud fairly close to the horizon, like a puff of steam rising from the spout of the teapot of sagittarius. it was the lagoon nebula. she also pointed out the andromeda galaxy, a distinct smear on the sky

not with a telescope, but with the naked eye. everything was just there! sure, it didn't lookk like hubble pics, but it wasn't just the night sky anymore - it really was space

i think one of the saddest things about light pollution is that we live in a time where humans have unprecedented knowledge about the universe and our place in it. we can look at features of the night sky and understand the immensity and significance of it all. you can look at the puff of steam in sagittarius and know that suns are being born there

but for most people, these facts are distant and irrelevant, because they can't see them in the sky above their heads, and i think that's a tragic loss for our species

Lilo & Stitch is a great example of a story that has no villains. It has antagonists, sure, but most of them are well-meaning. The worst person in the film is that little shit Myrtle, but she’s not in the film that much anyway.

so sam’s initial test grades for - what seems to be the magnus entrance exam, i think? were part of the ARG.

and knowing he was rejected from the institute puts his score into an interesting position

because sam had the highest recorded empathy of any of the kids at a 98% empathy index.

and if he was rejected…

are they looking…for low empathy kids? for what??

I know I sound like your mom but you kids need to stop fucking vaping

Big news from Tartarus I'm just so proud of him

in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently