the-bubonic-plague
be gay do clown
eli || they/it || gender? whats that || avatar by @vegetable-wrangler
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you can’t talk about vampires and their views on menstrual blood anywhere else besides here. On account of the stigma
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I need someone to hold me gently and it's getting critical
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i need to press that man like a flower. get in the book boy
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this the only platform i have to post this joke
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Never steal from women
I've been wanting to make this post since the tourney where it happened. I was going to wait for the person involved to leave the server or something before posting it but I've been DYING to talk about this story, it's so good. So you're getting it now.
So, regarding Kirby Fighters 2, every February 3rd (in reference to the finale of Persona 5 Royal) for the past couple years, I've run a KF2 event if I'm able. Last year it was the first low tiers tourney, but this year I decided to have a normal tourney...
...with the insane marketing gimmick of calling it Jay Eazy's Kirbification
To be honest, February 3rd kinda snuck up on me this year. University's been fucking me up, to be fair. But one day, this rando comes into the server and asks when the next tourney is.
No one had picked up on the Feb. 3rd thing yet, but I dropped a few hints to it here and there, like the intro music for last year and the graphic for this year. But this reminded me to get off my ass and run the Feb. 3rd bracket. Remember FreeStickman, he'll be important in this story.
One day, before the tourney, Stickman comes into general to argue for the legality of Dried Up Sea...using AI. This gave him a reputation of a chatbot that, like Mimikool before him, could not POSSIBLY be shaken off. As you'd expect, his argument was meaningless, weightless, passionless, and a joke.
But it was pretty funny.
So you have Stickman in the tourney, seeded last, in the same bracket as all stars like Schmeedor, AV, Claire, KirbybiM, Justinian, and, to everyone's surprise, Dougsauce! All things considered, it was a pretty good tourney if you played normally. Thanks Jay Eazy.
So my first few sets roll around, I beat Panini then get stomped by AV. Stickman gets destroyed by Claire and that puts me against him in the bracket. Then I get this DM from Kyochan.
Kyo had been gassing up Stickman all day, and for good reason: It was funny. I am not a fan of Stickman, but I like Kyo more than I don't like Stickman, so I go Bandana Dee and pretend to fight back. Stickman ends up "winning" the set 3-2, and they go onto fight Schmeedor.
So why did I throw? There's a few reasons actually. Firstly, I already knew Schmee could beat me. I also found a way to turn it into what I thought would be a good narritive moment...but no one paid attention to that. So Stickman plays Fighter Kirby, but can't do a quarter circle consistently, in the whole set he threw out about 6 input hadokens, which he only started doing after I TOLD HIM that was an option. If you remember the SOFG 2021 +R bracket, the only reason I was able to beat Winters was because of coaching Theo gave me. So I thought it'd be fitting to have that come back around.
So Stickman goes onto fight Schmeedor, and I'm not Schmeedor, so I can't tell you why, but she ALSO agreed to throw to Stickman. Likely in the same way I did, controlling the set to go to game 5. Special mention to Stickman saying he'd flip a coin to decide who gets to ban first and send the video. If you hate competitive integrity this is absolutely the tourney for you.
So Schmee goes on to fight Stickman and loses, and to the surprise of me and Kyo, Justin is sent to losers bracket by Claire. Justin does actually have a bit of honour unlike us 3 goobers so it was much less likely to get him to throw. He later mentioned on his stream about not playing to win and that there was no point in playing if you weren't playing to win. On his stream, he said "what would i be doing? playing to lose? fuck that"
But that didn't stop Kyo from trying.
So Justin stomps the "rawest Fighter he's ever seen" (he didn't use hadoken) in a set that isn't really close and Stickman gets really upset about it. Bro wins 2 rigged sets and let it get to his head. Though I guess he didn't know they were rigged.
Eventually, AV also learns that Stickman is a fraud and is devastated. I'm not sure who else found out. I did also make a pretty good graphic for Jay Eazy's Kirbification, check it out!
So we played to lose, inflated a chatbot's ego, and still had a great time. What happened to Stickman was much more interesting than what would have happened if the tourney just played out normally, much like Happy Chaos's goal of making life as interesting as possible for humanity. Though tbh, looking at this graphic again, I don't really like how there's some character overlap...let me fix that...
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hot take: being antisemitic is bad because bigotry is immoral and wrong, not because you might accidentally paint with too broad a brush and be antisemitic to the Good Jews. When that is your paradigm, you (demonstrably) immediately start hunting for proof someone is a Bad Jew that it's okay to be racist to, including the simple fact that they call out antisemitic rhetoric.
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fags are allowed to say dyke and dykes are allowed to say fag in the same way that youre allowed to run up and slap your sibling on the back of the head
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the pillars holding up society:
people who film bootlegs of stage shows
people who write transcripts/captions for media that was released without them
wikipedia editors
people who translate funny tiktoks
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"kill them with kindness" WRONG. CRAB 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀
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Stop eating koi with the boys. Come eat sturgeon with a surgeon
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I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years
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