The accidentals- chapter 3

Laura is too stubborn for her good, she knew she was ill, she felt like death and she looked like it but even a practically begging Preet wouldn't get her near A&E, she hated the place, it holds too many memories. 

"I'm just going to head home and call the doctors, it's probably just the flu" Laura murmured, her head banging, that was new. Preet helped Laura up and tried to hold her weight but the  firefighting meant she was significantly heavier than preet expected. They stumbled out of the cafe, Laura wishing she could walk by herself but legs would barely move and couldn't hold her weight from pure exhaustion . she could hear preet gasping for air as she practically dragged her through the city, the word was spinning and endless, she didn't have a clue what was happening, each breath felt like a burning sword piercing her chest, each touch burnt.

Laura opens her eyes, when did she close them? The sweat covers every part of her and her brain is trying to claw its way out of her skull. She was in a car but not hers, Preet was driving, following directions to somewhere, 

“ where are we going” Laura rasped, her throat dry. She wasn't really sure if she even cared any more, she just wanted it to all stop. 

“ No A&E” she called, panic rising through her spent body, fear in her eyes. Preet chucked nervously

“Urgent care it is then” concern pressed into Preet’s face. Laura looked more ill enough to be in hospital but she wasn't about to argue with a muscled firefighter, even if said women couldn't lift her arms. 

The car had finally stopped and Laura realised that Preet was trying to help her get out of the car, then she felt bile rise up her throat and the overpowering acidic smell told her what was about to happen. 

….

“I'm sorry” Laura mumbles into a paper bag as she feels Preet coming to sit next to her. The waiting room was fairly quiet, people scattered around in little family huddles. She felt a comforting hand rub her back as she threw up the remains of her lunch. She can't remember when but her hair had been tied up in a lopsided bun. 

“ I have a work meeting soon that I need to go to but I promise I will be back as soon as it's over” Preet blurted out embarrassed.

She felt like an idiot, only an hour before they were talking about it and she had completely forgotten, she swatted Preet away with little strength she had, swallowing bile down she croaked out.

“ don't be late just for me”, a weak smile stops at her lips, sweat visibility running down her face, making strands of hair stick.

 Preet wringing her hands as she grabbed her work bag, not caring that her shoes were stained or that she hadn't eaten all morning, she mind was full of worries. As she walked to the door she stared back at the young blonde, her breathing so worn down, her shoulders hunched over, even from across the room you could feel the panic throbbing from her tall athletic body, an unspoken worry, they both knew that whatever was happening it wasn't going to be over quickly. 

A indistript voice called into the waiting room “Laura Adams? ”

Aching Laura pulled her body into the open consultation room, her eyes blinking at the harsh office lights. There sat an exhausted doctor, typing away at his computer, his suit jacket clearly abandoned for a beige cardigan that hung loosely to his skinny figure. 

“Sit” he smiled, bags clear under his eyes. She collapsed into a worn out navy chair. She fiddled with her shirt as she sat down, rattling off her symptoms her voice started to seize up, sweat forming on her already moist brow, she felt a calloused pair of hands hand he a small cup with some water in it, shakily she started to sip at it, tremors buzzing through her body, she hadn't the energy to fight it, she lent back into the musty chair, her eyes trained on the ceiling. She could feel it happening again, the fire building up to burn her body down, she wanted to die, sure it would be less painful. Then the doctor spoke, firmly and calm

“ try to relax, not hold anything in” he started loudly breathing, encouraging her to follow along. She was sure it was longer this time, the pain petered away but didn't leave, festering in the back of her mind 

“Laura please look at me” the doctor was trying to hide panic but staying professional but it barely worked. She opened her eyes and looked down, her body glowing red hot, like a mental pole just out of a fire, as she moved  sparks came flying out, her fingers alight, fire whispering out of the tips. Her hair was a glow, like a smouldering fire and with every movement the colour fading, soon her skin was normal, just flesh and bones, no fire and not a hint of sweat teased her fingers as Laura searched desperately for something to explain what just happened. 

1941-September 9th. 

I walked out of the kitchen, the house fairly quiet, the quiet voice of reading floating down from Rupert’s room. I slowly walk over to the heavy office door, hand resting on the ornate doorknob, I knock before entering even though it's my office and Ernt has told me I need not. I walk into a messy office, writing, drawings and paint everywhere, an easel in the corner, waiting to dry, “Unsere letzte hoffnug: HITLER” a bright white against the dark painting . I simply hand him a cup of strong coffee, he prefers to work well into the night and I knew today was no different. He smiled up at me, his body slumping back, circular glasses low on his nose. He was sitting behind the desk, his hand gliding across a drawing pad. 

I pulled the only chair in the room so I was next to Ernest, and I pulled out a cigar. 

"you realise I have to work tonight," Ernt sighed, trying to hide his grin as he wheeled himself around the doctor, grabbing a different notepad and flipping through the ideas.

They stay in silence for a moment, enjoying the quiet, only broken by the scratching of a pen and the faint hum of the pipes.

"have we had any visitors this month?" I questioned, it lingered in the air, like the smoke from my cigar. 

“Plenty, hence the messy office” his hands pointing out the mess of papers on his desk and the piles stacked into the corners, its true, it was rare for any of Ernt’s space to be tidy but this was a huge mess, making it impossible to find anything if you didn't know where it was. I sighed, all stress leaving my body as he wormed his hands into my blonde hair, running his hands in circles. I look up at him, dark bags hiding behind his glasses, golden hair cut short. Running my hand over his lips I realised how dry they were, I could feel his breathing on my check,a mere inch away. It's desperate, we never have long. Our eyes flick onto each other, his tongue grouping for more after so long apart. I slid off my chair and swung myself onto him, forcing him to lean further into his wheelchair. The love and passion was thick in the air, the taste of coffee and peas not stopping me leaning further in. a small moan escaped the painter as my tongue rolled down his neck . The bitter smell of ink and smoke lustfully dancing around us. 

“I missed you” Ernt murmured, trying to catch his breath as I undid the top of his shirt. I hummed as he did something devious, my eyes rolling back. It was evil, wrong, sinful and traitorous and the both loved it. 

This chapter is slightly longer than the last one, I hope you like it :) if you have any advice please tell me!

Yes Im well aware I can't do art for shit but I needed to do something so you will have to deal with my shitty ass title drawing for now x

Chapter 2

It started about a week in, Laura would become unbearably hot, it felt like being inside a chemical burn, everytime she could feel bile rising up her throat, sweat forming in every crevice and then it would go away as quickly as it started. The first time it happened Laura thought she was on fire standing there doing a cheap food shop, each time it only lasted a few seconds but everytime worse than the last, more of her body burning from the inside out, she didn't know how the pain was getting worse but it was. she needed to stop this, whatever the hell it is.

Laura sat down on the plastic chair,stale air coming out of cheap cushioning, the nurse who was giving the injections stood in the corner of the bright consultation room reading over my form. “ This is your sixth injection, correct?” she drawled, hardy waiting for confirmation, finally she started asking about side effects. “ it's probably just hormonal changes by the injections causing hot flashes, you can always drop out of the study if it's affecting you”. This wasnt hot flashes but honestly she didn't have the energy to fight, working nights took it out of her. The car had been fixed and rent was paid but she couldn't quit quite yet, she was staying for other reasons. Slipping her jacket on she saw preet waiting for her in the waiting room, “ coffee?'' She questioned, like she is genuinely worried about the answer, everytime they see each other she asks Laura like the answer might be no this time, she hasn't yet, its turning into a routine neither of them wanted to stop. They walked down the road, preets hands deep into her coat pockets, idle chit chat wondering between them as they walk down the rain sodden streets, rain hurrying them into a small greasy spoon sort of place. As laura sat hiding her tiredness behind hot coffee listening to preet rant about her PhD supervisor, a real dick with no respect for preets thesis topic, her mind wandered into the idea of doing this forever, god she is such a lesbain, it had just been a couple of coffee trips. The grumbling heater above them suddenly kicks in, blowing hot air onto the lino table, making the paper napkins fly around the table visibility scaring Laura out of her daydream.

“ is this a date? I mean if you don't want it to be then forget it but…” the words tumbled out of Laura's mouth before she could stop herself. Preet crunched up her thick eyebrows, taken aback for a moment. “ this isn't a date but I like you so i would like to go on a date at some point”.

That's when it happened, at the worst moment, a bead of sweat rolled down Laura's back, a precursor of what is to come. A deep breath and then it happened. Searing pain across her arm and her chest growing as it ignited her nerves, she wanted to scream but nothing came out. She was almost expecting to see herself on fire or smoking but her body was just tense, frozen with pain, every nerve alert. Laura's ears ring with pain and the sound of her heart speeding up to win against the invisible foe, adrenaline rushing to her limbs, ready to attack.

Then it stopped, as quickly as it started, only a few seconds passing in real life. Landing back on earth she realised Preet was staring her down with genuine alarm painted on her face. Laura put on an unconvincing smile, sweat still shining on her forehead, her breathing ragged.

“ sorry just zoned out there, was that a yes to a date?”

1945. September 9th

Home. Most people feel safe at home, it is a place to hide from what is going on, the mindless deaths of the true german people, the bombs, all the destruction, but as I walk to the teal door all I feel is dread. I do not shake while I watch children die, I keep calm while seeing sights no one should ever see, I do not flinch when i see bodies more bullets than flesh but as my hand reaches for the door i have to slow my breathing, steady my hand and plaster a fake smile over my face.

“ Papa!” a blonde little boy squeals running into the mahogany hallway, hugging my legs so tight i can't walk, so pleased to see me and barely aware of the horror outside. Out of the kitchen the smell of dinner wafts, filling the hallway with peas and freshly baked bread and I can hear my perfect wife tunefully humming along to the radio. The hard office door was closed, like always but I am surprised to realise that Ernt is still inside writing away.

I am more scared than I have been for weeks, I am so fully exposed in this house, I live a life full of hidden grenades, each will destroy everything but I can't stop moving. Fear fills every part of my soul but i still smile and pretend everything is fine.

Yes this is very short and probably utter shit but I'm still putting it up because I tried and I want to share it. If you have any advice please tell me xx

Chapter 1

Laura walked in through the door of her shoddy apartment, the lights flickering on as she slumped down on her stained sofa, she wanted to order takeaway but knew she didn't have the money, life was way to expensive and this week had been a pile of horse shit if any one had been, her car was in the garage after it broke down a couple days ago, the bill was so high she would need to not eat for a month. Before getting off shift today she had seen a family of five burn, only 2 getting out alive, a baby and the father. She tried to not let her job get to her but fighting fires was the easiest part, watching the families as they realise that not everyone made it is the worst, you can feel the guilt in the air. We are trained to move on, you can't take every death personally or it kills you from the inside but whenever i see a family torn apart so abruptly the worry stays on my heart, seeing happy families destroyed was definitely the worst part of her job but laura still loved the job and everyone struggles with it so she just tries to leave the worry at work,but today it followed her home, there was just something about today, the fire had started in the oldests room, probably faulty electrics, she was barely out of primary school, just starting to think she was a grown up, it had already killed the middle kid by the time anyone realised and the mother just breathed in to much smoke, it was come and go for a bit but in the end she didn't even make it to the hospital. A happy family reduced to two, a morning father and a 2 month old girl, how she survived I don't know. All that innocence and such young lives torn away so quickly.

Laura stood up shaking her head, it's not good to stay focused on the bad things, noodles and beer and an early night and she can sort everything else out in the morning.She has parents she can beg for money,they won't be happy but they wont let her starve,she just wishes she didn't have to call. For tonight she resigned herself to the sofa with a bottle of cheap beer and some veg noodles, strolling through the internet. Eventually the sun was long gone and the shame came creeping back, she was sitting here running from her responsibilities with beer, noodles and a blanket around her, just trying to hide away on the internet, she was a grown woman, an adult. She closed down reddit and opened her emails, this was an adult thing, she could clear her inbox. Ad,ad,ad,scam,ad,ad, important thing she should of replied too, she was trying to be grown up but that was slightly too grown up, ad, bank statement, don't want to look at that, oh nice easy one, the unit chief is trying to set up a quiz night, he needs to know when i'm free, i can do that. After a couple minutes of checking her calendar, which was embarrassingly empty she had formed an adult but chill response. There! She had been an adult, she had written an email and deleted a few more. She scanned over the rest hoping they could wait a few more days until a quiet moment at work, one caught her eye, an email from a trial company, she did a couple of studies a few years back to get some extra cash and extra cash was just what she needed, she looked into it, it was a medical study looking into a mental health drug, they needed people with diagnosed mental illness so she knew she would fit right in. Drug trials were not her thing but the pay was pretty good, two injections a week, £50 each, it lasted 12 months but you could leave whenever, just under £5,000 for the whole year, she probably wouldn't hang on that long but long enough that she could fix her beat up honda and still eat. Honestly how could she resist? The testing facility was a 15 minute walk away from the fire station as well. Fuck me if was perefect, no nagging from anyone about “being an adult” and “looking after your finances”. Laura finally went to bed that night, slightly tipsy, exhausted but slightly less stressed.

Laura had 2 days until she got paid and she had her first appointment for the trial today, it was a rolling study so there was no set start date. She had promised steve, the mechanic down the road, that he would get paid the bill as soon as she got paid so that he would carry on working with no money upfront, to be honest he totally owned lorna one, she had set him up with an ex of hers about a year back and she had never seen him happier. She walked up to a little privately owned clinic that she had never noticed before, it was smart but felt way to clinical, the lights were so bright it burnt and like all of these places the smell of cleaner was so strong you could taste it, she popped her phone into the pocket of her oversized jacket as she came to the front desk, the lady at the desk looked he up and down, I suppose she didn't really look like she belonged, it didn't look like a cheap sort of place.” hi i'm here for the trial, umm laura burmwell” laura muttered into the ground,she hated reception staff, they always seemed super judgy and this lady was no different, she tapped away at her screen for a few very awkward moments and sighed, pointing me to a section of chairs near the back. Pulling her earphones out she landed in a seat.

“Dont worry she wasn't very nice to me either” a voice chucked next to her, a small grinning woman sat there tapping on her phone, laura smiled back, she was gorgeous, long black hair down to her waist, out shining laura’s dirty blonde mess any day.

“ I’m glad she doesn't just hate me” Lorna joked, internally panicking. Why is such a cute woman actually talking to me? She suddenly felt amazingly underdressed, she was sat next to a stunning women who was clearly ready to go to work in a nice yellow dress and a jacket and she is there look like a gay hobo, hair up in yesterdays bun and a t shirt that has dinosaurs on it, at she is wearing smartish jeans. “I’m laura, are you here for the study?” she smiled.

“Preet, yeah, i'm hoping they can cure the fuckery going on in my head before the end of it” she chuckled but I could see the blush forming over her skin as she processed what she had said, Laura just snorted, tapping her leg on the linoleum floor, trying to think of something to say, her mind in overdrive.

“ nervous?” Preet questioned.

“i just haven't been in a drug trial for years, what if I grow four heads or something?” She joked, Preet actually burst out laughing, tears starting to form in her eyes, which got Laura laughing too, they just sat there trying to hide there laughter from the rest of the very serious looking members of the waiting room, finally after about 5 minutes they both calmed down enough to speak, laughter still glistening in their eyes.

“ but seriously these drugs will of been tested for years before it gets to these sorts of tests, its perfectly safe, they are just proving it and checking out side effects, im sure you wont grow any more heads.” At that moment Preets name was called over the speaker system, Secretly both of them were hoping they had been forgotten about so they could sit here and chat all day but neither of them said it.

“See you later Laura” Preet called as she picked up her stuff and started to follow the now waiting nurse.

Lorna went back to her music, trying to pull a stupid grin off her face.

1941- September 5th

I walked into surgery, on the bench was the patient, a young soldier, barley 19. He was burning up. Nurse Weber was standing there, trying to cool him down while setting up. He had a gun wound that was starting to get infected and the bullet had yet been removed. We set to work, removing infected tissue and finding bits of the shattered bullet but further we got the more futile it became, he kept losing blood and nothing we could do would keep his temperature down, he was pretty much dead in front of us. The nurse looked up, exhaustion in every wrinkle in her face, defeat in her eyes, im sure she had been on duty when he came on, over 10 hours earlier. With an air of defect I started sawing him up, giving him a dose of penicillin and covering the wound with gauze. I doubt he would make the night but we had tried. I removed my bloodied gloves and left. Hoping to be able to rest now. My eyes started over at the dying children and men who fill the halls. when will the war end, when will the suffering stop, have not enough died for the righteous cause? I started towards the boards, I was still on duty for another few days before I could head home. As i passed through the corridors i passed a officer asking about his son, every has someone fighting in this war to end all wars, he came to a halt in front of me desperately asking for his sons conduction, i had treated him when he first got brought in, he was going to make it but he no longer had a left leg, a bomb had hit near trench and had impaled his leg. As he quickly dismissed me, relief clear on his face, you could clearly see the shine on his Swastika pin. “Heil Hitler” I murmured as he marched away into the chaos

This is the first part of a longer story and my first time doing any serious writing, any advice welcome! I know it isn't perfect but I tried so I hope you enjoy it xx