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For our next act, gentlemen, we're going to need a volunteer!
Who's ready to expand their horizons?
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With the candyman's soft commands in his ear, Chip quickly realized his growing problem had only just begun...
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"Behold! Not only do we boast the most absorbent pampers in the world... we accommodate even the plumpest tush sizes. A million thanks to Jake here for agreeing to demonstrate the limits of our experimental XXXXL line."
"Mmmppphh?!"
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A little "exit tune" for greedy boys like Kyle: selfish, huge, sorry, gone.
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They start out so cocky, they end up so... fat
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Man I love me some Packers
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"Such a dirty boy, aren't you? I'm not talking about the mud, kiddo."
"This coach has standards. You may be a champion, but it's clear you can't conduct yourself like a big boy, so I have no choice."
"What, you're afraid the team is gonna laugh at your new uniform?"
"Newsflash buddy: they're already laughing. You toot that plump little horn of yours 24/7 like a tuba player!"
"Don't worry, we'll call in the experts. They'll get to the bottom of your problem..."
"...though they may end up laughing at you, too."
"But it's not like the whole team is gonna watch them baby you..."
"And of course, when you and the boys come to my house, expect to follow my rules. I think everyone will find your new nursery exciting."
"Now quit your whining, little boy, and get your butt up here. Daddy's clearly got his work cut out for him and he's not gonna ask twice."
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Good boy, that's right! Daddy is at the center of it all.
I think you're gonna ace my course, buddy.
But will you ace today's pop quiz? McDonald's and belly rubs.
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"He'll be fine, babe. Our boy is in good hands. Sure, it's embarrassing, but once they start changing him, he'll figure out how good it feels to finally let go. So... let's hit the hot tub for a little relaxation, huh?"
Shortly after arriving at the campground, Kevin's new daddies were quick to drop him off at the "sitters" -- something Kevin was unsure of. He thought at least Rob and Dave would let him have one beer at the pool... Could he really go along with this whole 24/7 baby thing?
He didn't have much of a choice -- the hunky couple looming over the changing table had plans for him and his soaked pampers. They had a way of talking just like Rob and Dave did. It broke him every time.
"Do you know anyone who likes daddies?" one cooed.
"I think I do," replied the other. "And it looks like he needs cleaned up."
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Enough said, fatboy
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Good things come in threes
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Find the yellow dot
Stare
Relax
That's a good boy
Fatboy thoughts
You like fatboys huh
So hungry
Good boy!
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Sir... your stomach!
And your rump, sir!
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Warning: messy 90s cowboy fantasy gunge, sorry...
But also... pick up an issue of SLOP today, ya filthy cowboy!
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Found that box of 90s mags I've been looking for...
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More fruity piratical nonsense -- "I told you not to, silly boy..."
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"Captains," the hoggish man declared, "get FIRST taste."
Ah, delicious hubris. The freshly stolen melons were cursed and now the poor captain was blowing up for all his men to see.
"He always was a fruit," his former first mate smirked. "Roll our ripe little friend below deck immediately, boys -- before he explodes."
The captain moaned in protest through cheeks swollen with sweet juice, but to no avail... His humanity was slipping away as easily as his clothes had ripped from his tightening, round body. It was too much to bear -- handled by men who were once his inferiors; rolled like any other piece of produce into the dim, musty hull of a ship he'd never captain again. Tears of juice flooded his eyes.
"Don't worry," one of the men's voices cooed closely in the dark, "we'll be sure to set a whopper of a price on you at the next port."
The horrified watermelon winced as he felt something push into his hole with a passion that can only come from a man too many days at sea.
"But with these doldrums... we'll have to find some way to pass the time... How about a little deal: you juice us, we juice you?"
Mmppphhh!!!
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