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This blog is a messI laugh too hard at things that aren't funny -------- Icon is made by tobiohchan on tumblr!!
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What would you do? You choose what path your character takes in Episode – download the app now!
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i would fight anyone who works at buzzfeed
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remember when cartoon network had that anti-bullying campaign with an online comic creator
and it went about as well as you would expect
and i saved the best for last
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lying on the internet: a collective, pt I
girl gamer gets saved from troll by girls singing frozen
offered money for a dick pic
i then walked out like a sassy bitch
saved by a grandma from a millennial hating anti book grandpa
even the religious people clapped
everyone behind me in gamestop gasped
the entire audience cheered and i got a thumbs up
my birthday was made into a holiday
this is my neighborhood now biatch
getting mugged, then hugged
some guy tried to recruit me into isis
ive just selected three led zeppelin CDs
you look like you could kill a man
everyones slowly getting high
oppa homeless style
and then i got ten dollars -ben carson
also im giving u 100 dollars
i wish i was alive during the 40s
my son has his own gun
facebook is for whores and pundits
a reggae man took my side
also ad agencies are dumb
16 children die every 30 seonds in chik fil a
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So, I have an American friend named Jane who married this English guy about 7 years ago. They live in Sussex together (god rest their souls), and they had a little boy pretty much right after they got married. As he grew up, they figured he would have a mix of their accents with a heavy lean towards English (because he’d go to school with English kids and teachers and the like.)
That’s not how it fucking worked out at all though. Instead, he says individual words with either an American or an English accent. Like, one second he’ll be like, “Daddy, I’m knackered” and the next he’ll be like, “AY YO MA WHERE YOU AT???” Every time they send me a video I just fucking piss myself listening to this kid.
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Today, I fucked up... by having one leg.
So, I’ve been missing my leg for four years now. I’ve adapted quite well. I get around just fine with a prosthetic.
However, when I’m at home in my small apartment, I prefer to crawl short distances instead of going through the hassle of putting my prosthetic on. It’s jut more convenient that way.
So last night we had some company over to watch scary movies, and I read everyone a few short submissions to/r/nosleep. Everyone was pretty spooked before we went to bed. Two friends of mine slept on the couch, and one of them was someone we have never had over before. So this individual had never seen me crawl without my leg on. To describe it, I kind of move like a very slow cheetah who’s missing a hind leg. Like a tri-pod crawl, if that makes sense. So, I suppose it can be unsettling if you’re not expecting it.
In the middle of the night/early morning, I decide to leave my room for a drink. I didn’t turn the hall light on so I wouldn’t disturb my sleeping guests. There’s just enough light coming from the light above the sink to guide me where I needed to go. As I’m turning the corner to enter the kitchen, I see a figure and I hear “OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK”, next thing I know, I’m getting kicked in the face. I suppose my friend recognized my foul mouth screaming back at him, because then he turned the light on and started apologizing profusely.
TL;DR: I crawled through my apartment without my prosthetic leg, my friend thought I was a demon and started kicking me in the face.
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welcome to hell
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