#ziellos / ANJON ( shaking fists / trembling teeth ). | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nctnine · 2 years

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Today you want nothing because wanting comes too close to feeling.

— Ari Banias, from Anybody: Poems; “Bouquet”

“ so you do pack a punch, ” andrew’s voice rings from behind, deep as the sea and clear as a bell. jonathan looks up — from the trench of his thoughts — and finds the minyard’s dagger-like gaze pointed at him. nothing good comes out of his stare, jonathan realises, though he has already accepted that there was no way he could shake andrew’s attention off of him.

andrew’s gaze has hooks, and it has dug into jonathan’s soul ever since they met this spring.

“ wouldn’t you want to know? ” is jonathan’s only rebuttal. jonathan knows he will never punch andrew minyard — there is no reason for him to. despite unsettling, andrew’s obsession with him has always come from a place for protection.

maybe obsession is not the right word, jonathan bargains internally. maybe it’s an intense infatuation.

his knuckles are raw from the fight earlier — could it be called that? steve harrington was down in a blink. could you call that a fight? — and the ice pack has melted into a water bag. the sting is numbing, crawling up his arm like static on midnight television.

moving to the bed, andrew sits next to him and jonathan doesn’t stop him. silent as ever, he watches andrew’s expression — or the lack of — like a thief scoping out a location. deep down he knows it was better him throwing the punch than andrew, considering andrew’s history. if andrew was the one to give the beating, someone might have ended up in the morgue; and yet, jonathan’s concern would be what a murder charge would mean to andrew instead.

he has learnt not to underestimate the destructive potential packed in andrew minyard’s five foot figure. according to court records, andrew minyard was so violent that he should stay medicated — subdued — at all times.

the order was signed and agreed on by the judges, apparently. not by the byers, though. joyce did not like that one bit. hopper fought her on this, warning her of the repercussions if they got caught; joyce, fierce as a woman and more so as a mother, bit down on every word until they were carved deep on their minds:

no one is getting drugged in this house. not on my watch.

as much as jonathan refused to acknowledge joyce and hopper’s highschool history, it plays to their advantage. five months in, nobody ever questions andrew’s medication.

you just have to stay with us for two years, joyce said to andrew in a late night conversation jonathan overheard. after that, you are free to go. you can go find aaron — i will make sure you are reunited. i promise.

jonathan couldn’t understand joyce’s decision, to be honest. another mouth to feed adds to their burden, not to mention andrew’s impossible personality. andrew is like a knife without a sheath, unafraid to cut anyone who comes too close; which is to say, jonathan is lucky, considering that andrew likes him.

“ he called you a slur, ” andrew says suddenly.

a long pause follows. what happened weighs heavily on jonathan’s mind. it brings back memories of lonnie and the trauma he inflicted. it was not the first time jonathan got called a slur, but he also hadn’t heard it for a while.

the connotation of the word leaves jonathan uneasy, but not because it is a shameful thing to be. the truth is, jonathan knows what he is.

he knows what they are.

“ maybe i am one. ”

andrew’s eyes go wide at jonathan’s reply. turning to jonathan, he watches him with an unblinking stare.

“ are you? ”

a shrug. jonathan doesn’t deny it. something shifts in andrew’s demeanour; something sheds, cautiously. then, andrew reaches for jonathan’s face, too fast for jonathan to react.

andrew’s grip is tight on jonathan’s jaw, and he says, looking directly into his soul, “ maybe you are one, but you don’t let people call you that. especially not people like him. ”

jonathan stares back at andrew, taking in every single emotion on his face. the seriousness, the urgency, the pain. this is not up for debate, and they don’t intend to turn it into one.

“ no, ” jonathan mumbles. something shimmers in andrew’s eyes. something that he wants a better look at. “ never. ”

satisfied with his answer, andrew lets go of jonathan and drops his gaze.

“ are you and nancy a thing now? ”

jonathan blinks, confused.

“ no. nancy’s with steve. ” “ even after that? ” “ even after that. ”

doubt clouds andrew’s expression, but it clears up soon after. with nothing more to say, andrew gets up to leave, and jonathan catches his wrist. he must be possessed by someone with a death wish to touch andrew minyard without asking first.

again, he is lucky. because andrew likes him.

“ andrew— ”

but andrew doesn’t let him finish.

“ don’t, ” andrew warns, a hand covering jonathan’s mouth. he is not ready to hear whatever jonathan has to say. jonathan can spot his panic, something he isn’t allowed to mention either.

slowly, jonathan unwraps his hand from andrew’s wrist. andrew removes his hand from jonathan’s mouth in return.

“ don’t. ”

andrew warns again on a whisper, before leaving jonathan alone in the room.

#DRABBLE.#ziellos / ANJON ( shaking fists / trembling teeth ).#yea i ship with myself keep scrolling.#rp really is just me going insane for hours then logging off.#mentions events of s1 involving that slur.

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