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takeyourcyanide · 14 days

Text

Prey

Possible TWs: Unreality, brief mention of suicide

AO3

Fandom: Soul Eater

Character(s): Franken Stein, Spirit Albarn, Marie Mjolnir, mentions of Azusa Yumi, Mira Naigus, and Sid Barrett

Word count: 3 315

Tags: hurt/no comfort, delirium, unreality, delusions, psychosis, confusion, dreams and nightmares, dreams vs reality, schizophrenia, madness, men crying

Summary: Stein struggles to tell dreams from reality, he struggles with the likes of paranoia and confusion, etc.

Note(s): Pushing through the static to write is like pushing through an avalanche sometimes, but it’s one of the few things I enjoy, so I do so anyway. I wanted to depict the confusion (among other things) that comes along with the static (at least for me), so I hope this comes across properly.

Anguished is he, of whom is reduced to limp and helpless prey for not only the world to seemingly feast upon, but for himself to feast fervently and rabidly upon.

<…….>

Stein had always been viewed as some sort of malevolent force; a predator.

Whether there’s any genuine truth to that statement or not, such a viewpoint spread, be it due to stigma and misconceptions, or a partial truth. Perhaps both.

Unbeknownst to the apparent entirety of everyone else was that his motives were only partially sadistic. He has ripped everything imaginable limb from limb, for the sake of ultimately satiating his scientific curiosity, as well as satiating his sadistic urges.

That same sadism extended towards himself, so it seemed, which left him to often question whether or not he was, too, a bit of a masochist.

<…….>

Stein’s computer screen blared before his eyes as though he were knocking upon the gates of heaven, though it felt much more like he had been dragged down into the deepest pit of hell; an abyss designed specifically for him.

He gazed into the array of pixels, a debilitating and delirium-inducing fog conquering him, as he felt whatever cognition had remained slipping through his lithe, pale, and trembling fingers.

It was one of the few thoughts that had ever managed to bring tears to his hollow eyes. His intellect was a treasured, a prized aspect of him; it was almost all he ever had - at least that’s what it seemed like in retrospect, as his previously excellent memory blurred and gasped for air like the ground from underneath the rubble of a massive and fallen building.

It was as though he had been a simultaneously third and first-party observing as his brain deteriorated, decomposing before his very eyes. He had been watching and psychoanalyzing as it all crashed down since utero. And from the moment he could conceptualize the neurobiological differences he was born with, he knew that, though he had refused to accept it, he had no chance at ever living.

When you begin early, you finish early.

The text of the paper on the screen appeared to morph, shifting and becoming completely different words after Stein was repeatedly forced to do multiple double-takes.

Franken sighed in mild frustration, deep and troubled as the biology normally so easy for him to comprehend became utterly indiscernible, incomprehensible, and a messy jumble of word salad. He massaged the bridge of his nose, as well as the skin in between his eyebrows in a circular motion, trying his best to remember how to breathe.

He moved his eyes to the lower right of the monitor, the clock in the corner reading ‘07:38.’

Stein’s eyes narrowed in annoyance, as he stood abruptly from his chair, shoving it away. He was almost forty minutes late to work.

He knew his ability to perceive time had been absolutely annihilated, but it never became any easier, nor did it become any less disorienting, ultimately leaving him to rub at his temples, shaking his head with a confused and feverish grimace.

He audibly groaned, lost within the hazy and murky forest with no way out.

At least he was already dressed.

<…….>

Stein trudged through the DWMA’s doors, hair unkempt and under-eyes appearing as though charcoal had been smeared upon them.

“Stein?” Spirit sounded rather confused as Stein marched into the Death Room expectantly and barely prepared to work. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean? I work here,” the meister’s eyebrows were furrowed, as he was stuck within a continuous and hellish state of befuddlement.

He snuck glances around the room, Lord Death and Marie staring at him with an expression of pity and concern, causing Stein to sneer.

“Don’t you remember? We’re letting you off for a little while. You should be at your lab right now,” the weapon stated, too, sounding terribly worried. Franken wished they’d simply stop pretending. It was clear they were only judging him, whispering vile things about him, mocking him when he wasn’t there to witness it.

“Oh… That wasn’t a dream?” Stein huffed, flabbergasted and unwillingly under the microscopic lenses that were their telling, needy, and greedy eyes, as even the overly bossy and critical Azusa was present in the room, along with the likes of Sid and Naigus.

Not only had it all seemed like one big dream, including the present, but it felt as though it had happened years ago - as though it were distant.

“No, Stein…. It was yesterday.”

Yesterday? What even happened yesterday?

He once again turned his head from side to side, a slow and searching motion.

He covered his face with his freezing hands, fingers spread just enough that he could see their distorting and foreign faces from in between each of them.

“Why don’t we get you home?” Spirit offered, a kind and caring gesture that was rendered nothing but conspicuous and threatening in the forest, amongst the thick and strident static.

“No.. No…. I can make it by myself,” he shakily mumbled, hands still gripping the flesh of what is supposedly his face.

“Are you sure? You don’t look well,” Death Scythe raised an eyebrow in suspicion, eyeing his former partner up and down.

And the truth was, he really didn’t. He no longer simply appeared as though he were a moving corpse anymore, he genuinely looked as though he had been mangled by some creature only days prior; his insomnia was more obvious than it had ever been, not to mention how slouched he was and how stiff his every movement was. It was as if Stein was relearning how to properly walk.

“Have I not managed to every other time?”

‘But you look like the thin, frail, and worn out thread you’ve been hardly hanging onto all your life has finally torn,’ Spirit thought to himself, exhibiting every last bit of self-control not to voice his opinion aloud.

“It’s okay to rely on people sometimes. We’re here for you. Let me take you home,” he said instead.

Stein fervently demurred against his suggestion, the very prospect of being lead back to his laboratory seemed to raise the volume of the radio.

“No. Let me go alone,” he almost pouted, his face twitching all over, as he was genuinely unsure what facial expression he should be making, and how he could even facially express what he was experiencing at all; flickering back and forth between every face, none suiting what he wanted to convey, or really, wasn’t certain he wanted to convey.

“I’m not going to let you just go alone in the state you’re in,” Stein clenched his atypically tight chest, sharp aches echoing throughout his sternum.

Spirit moved closer to the twitchy meister, not missing how Stein seemed to flinch farther away.

“Come on, Franken. Just let me walk you home, at the very least,” as the scythe peered downwards at the hand soothing over his chest, an almost sorrowful and tender glint appeared in his eyes, the volume further rising, the scientist’s ears surely leaking blood by now.

“Fine,” there was no point in continuing to stubbornly refuse the weapon’s proposal. Even if he left by his lonesome, the weapon would surely be knocking on his steel doors come nightfall.

A small smile made its way on Spirit’s face, as he replied gently with, “Well, all right, then.”

<…….>

The incessant, persistent, all-encompassing noise rose to unprecedented levels as he walked side by side with Mr. Suit and Tie, refusing to even so much as peek at his skinsuit.

Agitation spread throughout his body like cancer, overtaking his motor skills, leaving him squirmy, irritable, impatient, and robotic; only further exacerbated by the snickering and obnoxiously refulgent sun.

It left him childishly desiring to fall to the ground and throw a tantrum, to kick and to scream cacophonously, to sob and hiccup, and cross his arms over his ever-tightening chest, as he bit into the plush skin of his bottom lip as a distraction.

The static combined with the luminous summer day, combined with not being in control of his own decisions due to certain people believing him to be “unstable” was simply all too much; overstimulating.

Everything was too furiously hot and yet too frigid simultaneously; too loud and too quiet. All of that, not even including how his day clothes were brushing against his skin, feeling too small and too big, itchy and too smooth at the same time. It was as though the turtleneck, one of the few articles of clothing he didn’t refuse to wear, was suddenly strangling him; even his coat was now too heavy upon his shoulders, too clunky. It was all much too clunky.

And then Spirit pushed the creaky doors open.

Stein’s hands immediately flew up to cover his ears for the brief moment the sound reverberated, pathetic tears welling up in his eyes as he burned holes in his shoes.

He dug his teeth even further into his lip, wincing at the shooting pain that action garnered.

“Stein? What’s wrong? Why aren’t you coming inside?” Albarn softly and confusedly questioned, standing halfway inside of the laboratory. “Why are you staring at the floor?”

Stein’s hands were still cupped over his ears, moving upwards and yanking on his hair, his expression petulant as Spirit was finally able to get a semi-decent look at him.

“Hey, hey, don’t do that, why are you crying?” A tiny sob fell out from the normally resilient and unnervingly apathetic meister’s mouth, Spirit’s eyes widening, his arms rising aimlessly as he scrambled for anyway to comfort the male.

Stein rolled his inner cheek between his teeth, eagerly hoping to muffle his blubbering as he knew Spirit and everyone else who happened to hear about his little moment of weakness would take advantage of him in some way.

But that particular train of though only seemed to make him cry harder, the ball swirling in his chest tightening to the point of explosion; similarly to a taut rubber band tying around his heart, compressing and compressing until the organ itself exploded into an internally bloody mess.

The hands previously pulling at his hair once again fell to his chest, gripping and grappling, as Stein forgot how to properly inhale and exhale, his breaths unsteady, but not to the point of hyperventilation.

A certain fear he wasn’t sure he had ever felt rose within him, beating against the confines of his muscles, skeleton, his flesh to escape.

“Come on, why don’t we get inside? Wouldn’t that make you feel better?” Spirit placed a perturbed hand on Stein’s shuddering shoulder, of whom leaped backwards. “I’m sorry, I won’t touch you again.”

The corners of the scientist’s mouth twitched wildly, almost as though it were attempting a smile, tears still freely running down his rosy cheeks.

He smacked a hand over his mouth, folding in on himself, practically convulsing as uncontrollable and unfitting giggles escaped his mouth vigorously, nearly choking attempting to cease his own unwanted laughter.

The foreboding expression mixed with, danced with the cracking grin, as he glanced over at Spirit, a horrified and vulnerable look in his eyes.

The disquietude contorting Spirit’s countenance had seemingly been, though certainly not entirely, assuaged by something, as he returned to his former position partially inside of the lab.

“Can you make it in here on your own, or do you need help?” His voice was hushed, but rather sweet in a way Franken had never heard from the man before.

He put one foot in front of the other whilst laughing uproariously, Albarn pursing his lips as the manic giggles filled his ears like a disconcerting and scratched record.

The record shrieking, bellowing from the speakers of the old radio had risen in volume to the point of no return. And all Stein could do in the face of the growing and clamoring shadows was weep and cackle. He was now to be laid out for the entirety of the desert to know and scrutinize.

And though he never once cared about a singular person’s opinion of him, the viewpoints of the flowing river rushing with what may as well be a liquidized form of the status quo would always sway the viewpoint’s of others, effectively sweeping the already swept rug right out from underneath him.

“Do you wanna sit on the couch? Or.. I think it would be a good idea if you tried to get a nap,” Stein’s visage was blank in emotion, only a few tears left to roll, his mouth closed shut despite the tittering attempting to flow out like a stream of water. It admittedly appeared rather… interesting to anyone who wasn’t the meister, as his figure shook with what could be mistaken as mirth, while no other aspect of him followed suit.

Stein shrugged his shoulders in response, standing awkwardly as though he was a guest in his own house.

“Come on,” he waved the meister over. “Why don’t you go back to bed?”

He apprehensively objected the notion, standing still, the laughter slowly but surely dying down.

“Why not?” The ginger prodded as if he truly believed he would be given a verbal elucidation. “…… Okay, why don’t we just sit down, then?”

Stein obeyed, moving to plop down onto the sofa, a falling sensation holding his body hostage. He felt himself being pulled down as if he had dived off of a building; a random suicidal whim, an impulse. He wasn’t exactly a stranger to those.

<…….>

Stein’s eyes shot open as he caught his breath, his face oddly moist and his body drenched with sweat.

He was breathing fast and hard, his heart pumping, banging against his sore chest; something of which seldom happened.

He lifted his quivering fingers, dabbing them onto his cheeks, as if to take a sample.

Upon observation, upon even licking the salty liquid from off of his fingers for the sole sake of clarity, it was safe to determine that he was crying.

Stein squinted his eyes, scanning the room, his vision blurred undoubtedly from the tears, though it was possible he also needed the aid his glasses offered him.

He patted around his bed and his nightstand in search of the aforementioned glasses, only to find that he had fallen asleep with his frames on his face, lenses covered in the same wetness covering his fingers.

He cleaned the lenses with his shirt, jittery and with an aching stomach and head.

‘Was that a dream? No… That just happened yesterday, didn’t it? Or was it a week ago? How much of that did and did not happen? When…? No,’ the endless misty haze of confusion seemed to torture him endlessly as he placed his glasses beside him.

He needed a shower. And the very thought of standing in the mirrored room paralyzed him; the same room with the camera-filled vents. Though all of his rooms had that… They were most likely selling the videos they’d take of his most vulnerable and private moments to strangers… His body was to be passed around and enjoyed, wasn’t it?

He bit at his fingers, even unconsciously suckling on them at the volume rose impossibly and impressively more so.

But he had work to accomplish, not even just at the academy - or did they actually temporarily suspend him from his duties? Was that just the dream?

Stein threw the covers from off of his body. Evidently he’d need to wash the sheets as well, given how soaked they were.

Exhausting nightmares were all he had anymore.

<…….>

The warm water trickled down Stein’s neck, falling smoothly from his collarbone, and down to his thoracic and abdominal cavities, making rounds around his thighs, and pooling under his feet.

He stood there, immobilized by nothing at all for a moment. It was almost as if, though not quite, he was not allowed to move, to control his own extremities.

He pondered for a moment those ghastly and ghostly beings which followed him into the bathroom, never allowing him even a fraction of time to himself, and how, while he often wished for them to disappear, he hadn’t a single clue as to what he’d do without them.

The static sung hell-born lullabies to him, words of the shadows culminating inside of his skull like echoes of the distant past, or of an imminent and inevitable future; a reminder that the present would never be his to own. Even his own thoughts were not to ever belong to him.

He was within its domain, born seated upon its throne, for it was, too, his, as he was ‘it’ and ‘it’ was him - simultaneously, still, existing as almost separate entities; the predator and the prey, except in this particular falsified, quasi-play, the predator’s prey just so happened to be the predator itself.

Stein managed to twitch his middle finger.. Then his ring, then his pointer, his pinky, and his thumb.

He relearned how to contract his muscles, how to outstretch his arms, as he began to move.

He’d rub shampoo and conditioner in his hair, scratching the shampoo into his scalp, and observing as it seeped through his follicles and into his body just as the noise had.

His heart did not pump the same blood as everyone else’s. That much was apparent. And he could not force it to. Was he to give in to the forest? Did he have a choice in the matter?

<…….>

Stein trudged once more throughout the cobblestone streets, seeking answers.

He pushed the academy doors open, a few curious glances coming his way as students and staff alike whispered amongst one another. He didn’t always mind such attention, as a matter of fact, he often found it rather amusing. At times, he could even find himself being partial to it. But in times such as this, times when it fed the avalanche raining down in his mind, he wished everyone would simply forget he ever existed. He wished passionately that he were the invisible observer he often forgot that he wasn’t.

“Spirit,” Stein called out into the Death Room, even more bewildered glances given to him.

“Stein?” The scythe sounded so surprised to see the man, he had to wonder why.

“Have I been suspended already?” He asked the question as though it were the most urgent and important of questions.

“Stein… You were let off over a week ago. Don’t you remember?”

Those words resounded within Stein, echoing and bouncing off the walls as the world around him spun, crumbling down as the very fabric of reality tore apart.

“It was a week?” Stein choked out, his eyes bulging out from their sockets, his ears ringing inharmoniously.

He whipped his head around the whole room, covering his face just as he had in the dream, moving his hands to the sides of his head, as he stood with both of his legs in his reality and a mere fingertip in their reality.

What?

“What day is it again?”

“It’s the twenty-sixth of July,” Marie helpfully answered, sounding awfully concerned. “It’s a Thursday.”

Stein ripped his hands away from his head, pulling them back down and peering at them. Was he even real? Were they real? Were they demons wearing the skin of his friends? What was going on? Where was he, truly? Who was he?

And most importantly,

how did he last this long in the first place?

It had become overwhelmingly apparent over the years that he was the strongest person he knew.

But being the strongest never guarantees you’ll survive on the battlefield. No matter who you are, you’re more likely to die a gruesome and empty death than not. A death in which you are left to rot. And that had also become abundantly clear to Stein.

He knew it. He had always known it.

He wasn’t going to make it to thirty.

<——————>

An incredibly fitting song:

#soul eater #franken stein #stein #stein soul eater #dr stein #takeyourcyanide #hurt/no comfort #Spotify #soul eater fanfic #soul eater fanfiction #schizospec #schizophrenia #psychosis #possible psychosis

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winterchimez · 8 months

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describe your moots as tbz members <33

hiya anon 👋🏻 im so sorry it took me the longest time to reply to your ask cs me needed to do some ✨thinking✨ on this shdjd but here it goes!

@stealanity as sangyeon

our mother our unnie!!! matty just takes care of all of us so well (i mean the entire deoboyznet might just be her kids by now) and she’s super sweet always making sure we’re doing great & safe & healthy 🥹

@flwoie & @hanniluvi as jacob

no cs these two have literally been nothing but the sweetest ever to me ever since we became moots 🥹 you both have been with me from the very beginning of my writing journey and i def wouldn’t be where im at now without you guys 😭 im always so so grateful to you both truly 🤧💕

@wuahae as younghoon

idk abt yall but cat just screams hoonie vibes to me. despite being really sweet she’s also so so cute and pretty irl!!! and we all know hoonie is the sweetest and one of the darn good looking guys ever 😩

@daisyvisions as hyunjae

ahhh my fav sangyeon stan!!! daisy is just so outgoing and friendly like hyunjae is, and ofc ✨ahem✨ as wild as hyunjae can be 🤪 she’s always sending me some sangyeon ✨GOOD FOOD✨ (with some hyunjae at the side cs we both sangmil girlies 😩) thanks for always feeding my delusions ig 🤧🫶🏻

@juyeonszn as juyeon

fawn is literally just the sweetest and nicest ever!!! and her writing?? OMG. PURE TALENT JUST LIKE JUYO HIMSELF 😤 yall should def check out her works if you haven’t PERIODT ✨ and i look forward to having more convos with you 😉💕

@sungbeam as kevin/changmin

ah there’s my fiery elmo twin!!! 🔥 i mean there’s literally NOTHING this girl can’t do, from making such high quality banners to dropping i dare say THE BEST fics you’ll ever find here we love a talented queen ✨ and also she’s always spitting some random facts and memes and that’s exactly like kevin on weverse/bubble lmao

putting in a sprinkle of changmin just cs. changmin spits fire and she does that to me all the time 😔

@heemingyu as chanhee

sana is just as savage as chanhee is LMAO ive became a joke for her to the point she practically LIVES for my reaction whenever she sends me ✨ahem✨ daddy sangyeon content 😔 (but she can be as sweet and caring as chanhee does so some bonus points ig :p)

@invuwrld as changmin

mona has unfortunately became besties with sana in terms of sending me daddy sangyeon content bcs lemme tell you they’re literally partners-in-crime when it comes to b*llying moi 😔 (i mean the large amount of sangyeon in her album is for me so 😔😔) hence they’re literally just kyunew. i said what i said 😤 (but at the end of the day i go back to loving and protecting mona cs im a very responsible unnie 🤧)

@cupidjyu & @zzoguri as haknyeon

hakkie is the sweetest little bean & literally my comfort person ever & that’s exactly yumi & moni!! yumi is just the sweetest and cutest lil 妹妹 and there’s nothing i wanna do then to give her cuddles and protect her at all cost 💖 and ofc moni. bless your kindest soul ever cs you’re always just so so nice to me :(((( and ofc i bawled my eyes out reading moni’s changmin fic cs i was going through things at that time and i literally spammed moni’s dms telling how much it has helped me loads 🥹 so yes im eternally grateful for that & thank you for listening to my story too 🤧 (which btw yall should check out the fic if you haven’t!!!)

@justalildumpling as sunwoo

my emotional support buddy j!!! 💪 yknow how sunwoo’s the type where you’d just feel so comfortable starting a convo with even tho you’ve just met? j is literally that and im so so glad we hit off so well!! tbh ive seen you on my dash a lot & im more than thrilled when we became moots 😭 and cs we’re both delusional so we can become besties and get our phd from the delulu boy himself 😔 (i’ll forever remember our lipstick convo lmao 💄)

@i520cm as eric

ah the maknae of all maknaes. lmao ipah is just as outgoing as eric is, and she literally pops into the gc and drops some random ass topic which makes everyone laugh their asses off most of the time 🤣 and umm… ipah does overshare sometimes but its good we love that energy and poor kiddo is always being bullied LMAO its ok your kakak’s got your back always 😭😭😭🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

#❄️ — asks!#sweetest anon! <3 #mutuals! <3 #tag games! 🎮#lmao its just the entire deoboyznet here 😭

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truthplagued · 7 months

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SWOONED / yeah u know what, give me that 'fluffy' past in love with his ex-wife :~)

GLIMPSES OF THE PAST / send SWOONED for a scene from my muse's past in which they were infatuated with someone.

There were few memories he had closed himself off to. Certain ones that would always ache no matter the time that passed. A flicker of a memory surfaced, one Angel rarely allowed himself to revisit. It was a moment from a time when Angel Kwon had been someone else entirely, a man who had let his guard down, a foolish boy who had been infatuated:

It was one of those things he shouldn't have and that this was all a product of his own greed. Everything weighed so heavily in his chest when he looked over at her because it felt suffocatingly tight, like Yumi had managed to wrap her delicate around his heart and squeeze. And when he had been younger, more foolish, and less experience in the world he would scoffed at the idea of feelings, love, and all those other weaknesses that could be used against someone.

He had been devoid of a lot of the cynicism that now defined him. Angel had been entranced by Yumi from the start, drawn into her world with a blind enthusiasm he could no longer comprehend. He had convinced himself it would work despite knowing in no universe could someone like him ever get something so pure, so right, and so good without staining it somehow. Yet, he choose to live in that delusion.

Reaching over in the midst of the cold winter, eyes following the pink of Yumi's nose and cheeks, wrapping his own scarf tightly around her face to block out the bitter winds. "You're going to need up frozen like this. C'mon, Yumi. We should head home now." Face softer, gentler than it had ever been. Fingers toying with the edge of the sleeve of her jacket to give a soft tug to encouragingly prompt her to follow him.

#solisocasum #&. dialogue.#&. answered.#( his love is pretty subtle i think )#( in a ice skating date or smething )

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unohanadaydreams · 3 years

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As the name suggests, I'm always thirsty for the Big Guy 😉 I wonder how Kenpachi would react if Ikkaku found a piece of your lingerie in the barracks, but no one knew about your relationship?

The idea of Kenpachi being viewed as sus for fucking a 4th member fuels me so ofc. This got out of hand but I fully blame the energy IkkaYumi brings to anything ever and not myself. Thank you for understanding.

Features: smut (18+) at the mid-point, IkkaYumi being real <3 for the majority of it, and sub!Kenpachi (☆ω☆), also idk maybe some minor angst but like made Seggsy.

Kenpachi Zaraki x f!reader (and IkkaYumi...mostly them tbh.)

Ikkaku slapped the door open with loudest ‘OI’ he could muster. The paper of the door ripped somewhere along the way as it slid open, the wooden frame wobbling as he stepped into the room.

Despite the noise, Yumichika’s hand stayed steadfast as he finished smudging eye shadow on his outer lid. Another ‘OI’ sounded, but no hand shook him or foot kicked at him while Yumichika held a brush to his eye.

Glacial, he finished blending the color until he was satisfied--rinsed the brush--set it to dry. Through the mirror in front of him, Yumichika looked to Ikkaku’s reflection only after admiring his own.

The lacy scrap of undies in Ikkaku’s hand lifted Yumichika’s brow.

“I thought you hated when I wore those,” he said with a sniff, turning to get a better look.

Ikkaku rubbed at his bald head, “yah think that because I do.”

Yumichika gestured for the undies and Ikkaku threw them. “And yet?”

“Yet, I found ‘em anyway!” Ikkaku fell into a wide squat, his hands fisting into the fabric of his uniform over his knees. “In the captain’s office.”

They stared at one another, both settling deeper into their feelings.

“Ikkaku, you must be joking,” Yumichika said, holding the undies against his arm. “This color makes me look positively jaundiced.”

“You think captain gives a shit about color theory?”

Yumichika threw the lacy bit of bullshit at Ikkaku’s face. Smiling when they landed on his dumb, shiny head. “He won’t even let me do his hair, Ikkaku. Your delusion is exhausting me.”

“Then--”

“Yes, Ikkaku. Then, they’re not mine. And they’re someone else’s.”

Ikkaku pulled the undies from his head, squinting at them. “Huh.”

Rising with a flourish, Yumichika let the sleeves of his robe billow behind him as he went for the cabinet to rummage for sake. Possibly a new boyfriend.

He came back after a few gulps, offering Ikkaku the bottle only after giving him a sound kick to the head that sent the man flopping to the side.

“Hey!” Ikkaku steadied himself with one hand and rubbed where he’d been kicked with the other...undies still in hand. “Ya can’t blame me. No one else around here would wear that shit.”

Yumichika gave a flat look. Took another gulp of sake. Sighed heavily as he sank to Ikkaku’s level.

“Which means they belong to someone who would,” Yumichika offered along with the sake. “Someone from a different division.”

“Must be serious,” Ikkaku said, sake dribbling down his chin. “Never found anything in his office...ever.”

Yumichika kissed at the trail of sake and took the bottle back once he’d settled into Ikkaku’s lap. “That means whoever it is will be back. And now we know what to look for.”

Ikkaku grunted, shoving his tongue in Yumichika’s mouth before the man in his lap could swallow his sake, not pulling away until he’d swiped as much alcohol with his tongue as he could.

“That shit ain’t good enough for you, anyway.”

“I know,” Yumichika said softly, tone at odds with him rising to stand, heading for the door.

“O--” A raised hand stalled Ikkaku from pointing to his tightened hamaka.

“Fix my door first, dumbass.”

Ikkaku lowered from his tip-toes, a man afflicted. “No way.”

“I told you,” Yumichika said in a hiss. “Not just from 4th division, but a pencil pusher.”

You looked like the kind who’d scramble to bring an 11th division soldier any impossible request they bullied you for. The quintessential mouse every self-respecting soldier was inclined to paw at.

“Don’t look so fucking smug, Yumi,” Ikkaku grumbled, peeling off the wall and pulling Yumichika back towards the training grounds by the back of the puffed-up peacock’s uniform, right at the lower back. Yumichika had just gotten his fifth pay-back punch in when they hit the gate that separated captain’s estate from training ground.

Theirs might have been the only captain so enamored with battle that he’d moved his quarters as close as the captain general would allow. If it weren’t for the bullshit ‘housing codes and regulations’, Ikkaku was sure the house would’ve been on top of the large rectangle of packed dirt that served as the largest training ground in the entire division.

Once they’d hopped the low wall, more meant to keep Zaraki’s house away from the grounds than to keep his underlings on the grounds away from him, Yumichika fell on the nearest bench to fix his uniform.

“Well now what?” Ikkaku rubbed at his side, knowing he was going to need to stretch soon or the tight knot Yumichika had punched into his side or even a night drowned in sake wouldn’t numb it when he collapsed in his futon.

Yumichika didn’t look up from retying his stiff, decorative obi but his face softened, “Now that we’ve been successfully nosy? I was thinking that new, chic sushi bar near the 1st. The one where all the wait-staff look just as yummy.”

“No I, mean--yeah, we’re definitely going,” Ikkaku said, his previous thought tripping over the vision of pretty smiles from androgynous beauties. “But, what do we do about the captain?”

“Well, I’m not going to say anything, but I also have tact. And grace,” Yumichika shrugged, fluffing the bow of obi.

Ikkaku kicked dirt and tensed forward at the shoulders, like he planned to lunge and attack. “I ain’t no fucking snitch and you know it. Don’tcha?”

Sliding forward, Yumichika massaged at Ikkaku’s tense shoulders, rolling his eyes. “I wasn’t saying you would. Just that you’re tactless. And might on accident--which makes you an idiot, not a snitch.”

“Damn right,” Ikkaku grunted, anything but Yumichika’s agreement sliding off his bald head like water. “Wouldn’t snitch for anything. But what if someone else finds out? Like a captain or something. We can’t kill one of them and--”

“Oh, stop worrying about it,” Yumichika said, interrupting and pulling at Ikkaku’s arm--he was hungry, both for refined food and beauties. “No one who wants to live will chance Kenpachi asking for a fight. Or that Captain Unohana; she seems vicious in a way more of our men should be. Such grace.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” Ikkaku nodded, letting himself be dragged off for sushi, sake, and sublime wait-staff. Still, there was morale to think about. No hardened warrior of the rukongai wanted to hear their fearless leader had a weakness for...the weak.

There had to be something more to it but Ikkaku wasn’t going to dig more into his captain’s business. He was more than happy to put the shovel down and follow Yumichika, even as the truth sat uncomfortably at the base of his skull.

You were weak in all the ways shinigami measured such things--swordsmanship, spiritual pressure, and kido were subjects you studied more than you practiced, let alone pulled off. But you had enough power to pass school and be sorted into the 4th division ranks, where you excelled.

An aptitude for medical procedure, surgery, and technology was what garnered you not just safety, but respect among your peers.

As for the other divisions? Well, you had some friends in 12th who fully understood your position.

Kenpachi Zaraki? Certainly wasn’t someone who could relate to you.

But, that was fine.

You preferred your men muzzled, anyway.

“Too bad, Cap--tain,” you breathed, stretching his title with your tongue playfully. “I was hoping they’d find out everything.”

Pulling yourself up, one fist over the other, by the leather leash tied taunt around Kenpachi’s neck, you delighted in seeing the muscles there strain to accommodate your weight and the need for breath at the same time.

You pressed your lips against his ear after admiring the rough line of his mouth being forcibly split open by a ball gang, pretty, pink, and yours. “Can’t you go faster?”

His answering grunt was followed by his body pressing into yours quick enough turn your teasing into moans. That’s what you liked most about Kenpachi; he was always striving to be better and exceeding expectation.

it would be effortless for him to put his hands on you without permission or rip out the ball gag, but he didn’t. Even when you met in a grimy bar close to the 11th, too drunk to realize who’s thigh you were toying with, his attention to what you wanted was surprising.

You panted, toes curling as he hit that lovely spot only he ever had, “H-hands on hips.”

So eager, he kneaded from the tops of your thighs to your hips like dough, obviously glad to be rewarded. You were eager too--for the angle. Your hips tilted upward gave him more depth and your fingers tightened on his leash.

There was no need to command for more, because he was giving you his all. And he kept going until your scattered breathing paired with the tight heat he was pounding into you snapped all at once, so intense that your eyes watered.

While you basked in the trembling after shocks, catching your breath, Kenpachi went still.

Until you said, “Sit on floor.”

The bed creaked and rose as he left it, leaving you to collect yourself in peace. When you rose to sit, he was kneeling on the floor, his cock hard and bobbing above his thighs.

You walked to him slow, nails scratching through his rough, black hair as you circled behind him. “Such good work,” you praised, “Just like always.”

Trailing down to the buckle, your fingers made quick of his ball gag, parting it from his teeth gently, and tossing it on the bed.

“What do you want me to reward you with, Kenpachi?” You asked him, only once you’d come to face him, your hand urging his jaw up, his eyes on yours.

“To get off,” he said, shameless.

You hummed, “then do it.”

Frowning, Kenpachi leaned his face into your touch. “I want you to.....please.”

The word ‘please’ was said slow, his eyes leaving yours several times before he said it. You wondered how many people Kenpachi Zaraki had ever asked, for anything. Let alone, with manners.

You kissed his nose, finding the almost demure behavior cute, “Then I will. Lay down.”

He did, his arms behind his head, like he napping under a tree instead of waiting for your hands to give his weeping cock relief.

You took your time, teasing him with sensation by spitting into your hand and giving him light rubs, again and again until his hips lifted off the ground.

The lacy bit of pink undies that stretched tight over his thighs, were yours too. And you peeled them off, throwing them toward the ball gag as his breathing grew heavy in the air.

Perhaps you deserved less teasing, but you couldn’t resist dragging out the fun a touch more, one hand fondling his tightening balls while the other scratched lightly at his inner thighs.

His breathing was catching on groans and audible ‘ah’s that had you biting your lip. Thigh’s clenching, you finally began circling the tip of his cock. Soon, you were giving him his first pump, slick hand trailing his length from tip to base in smooth, steady motions.

Straddling his thighs, you took advantage of the position and put both your hands to work, gripping him harder but keeping the same pace.

“Look how hard you are,” you cooed, hands pausing as your thumb circled the slit topping the bulbous head of his cock. “Do you want to cum for me?”

His, “yes,” was immediately pushed from his heaving chest. You hummed, so tempted to climb on top of him fully. But, that would be a kind of weakness you didn’t allow yourself.

Kenpachi’s lone eye struggled to stay open as you lowered your lips to kiss the tip of him. You rose back up and licked them as he watched, his pre-cum salty as it settled on your tongue.

You couldn’t call him unraveling under your firm, fast touch seeing him at his weakest. But, you were certain it was a kind of vulnerable he seldom experienced. Even his arms had come from behind his head, his fingers flexing around air while he struggled to keep them away from you. His hips began bucking with such strength that you were forced to tighten your thighs around his to keep your place.

Desperate, is what he was. For you to give him what he worked for.

And, you did.

His cock pulsed as you wrung his orgasm out, thick ropes of cum falling over his sweaty stomach and dripping down your hands. His moan was loud, deep, and reverberated through out the room like a cry of victory.

You kept stroking him until he was completely spent, until he made a sound almost like a whine.

“I need--”

He sat up, setting you on the floor before padding to the bathroom, and coming back with a damp cloth. “Here.”

“Thank you,” you said, keeping your eyes on your hands as you willed yourself to calm down. His orgasm had made you want him again, badly. But you had things to do. He had things to do.

What you had with Kenpachi was strange and tenuous. And your smug confidence drained a bit as you cleaned yourself and him, until you were almost unsure.

What now? You’d never even seen his house before this. Always in more public places, where you parted almost immediately after playing with him.

“You want these back,” he asked, lifting the ball gag and undies in one hand while pulling back the blankets on the bed with the other. The leash was already on the bedside table, his neck angrily red still.

If you took them, you wondered if it was all over. “No, you should. They’re easy enough to clean.”

“...You sure?”

You nodded, not so attached to a couple cheap props that you’d be wounded if something happened to them. “They’re all yours.”

Shrugging after a moment of silence, he gestured with his head to the bed, “unless you wanna take a shower first.”

“I’m fine for now,” you responded, climbing under the blanket, more confused than obedient. “Are you tired?”

“Enough to sleep.”

The bed dipped from his bulk, forcing you closer. He tossed an arm around you, so you could get comfortable against his side. You lay your head on his chest, eyes still open, listening to him breathe.

At first, you’d thought maybe it was all a joke. That Kenpachi Zaraki was trying to trap you into....something, like those men who feigned nice before using all their muscle to force you to bend as they wanted. To teach you a lesson for trying to dominate him.

You didn’t delude yourself into thinking you had real, tangible power of him or any man you’d toyed with, after all. Just something momentary, like a brief understanding.

But you felt less cautious as your eyes drooped shut and your thoughts circled around his intentions. He always approached you and asked, vague and gruff, ‘here good?’ And you’d find a closet or office or twisty alley that would do.

This time, you asked him. And he took you to his bedroom, compliant as ever, waiting for you to sprinkle nice words in his ear, for you to give him pleasure for being his best.

Drifting off to the rise and fall of his chest, you wondered if things like that meant so much to him.

#this is very lightly edited bc im so short on time lately #but this was fun #kenpachi zaraki smut #kenpachi zaraki x reader #kenpachi zaraki #bleach sm #bleach imagines #bleach scenario #zaraki-oriented #kenpachi: i like being praised and having someone acknowledge me #reader: wait....is this....kind of depressing and not just kinky?#but fr i just think dommed kenpachi is hot and i can not resist sprinkling crumbs of angst

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lovelornings · 3 years

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For the Sins I Carry, I Deserve to Burn ( Masochist Delusions / Relationship with Fire )

Follow up details to the ‘Taking responsibility’ post

Major cw for suicidal Ideation and torture

Yumi is someone who takes the weight of all her mother’s sins on her shoulders. She has come to accept every cruel accusation as fact over the years - down to the claims that she isn’t even something human.

It scares her, hurts her that nothing can be done to bring back all those young girls who’ve lost their lives at the hands of her mother. It’s so utterly senseless that she’s started to believe that the only way she can make up for it, as the representation of her Mother, is for her to suffer.

She takes any cruelty inflicted on her by the people of Ankadomari as her due punishment, her metaphorical cross that she should bear. Hit me harder. Injure me. Scar me.

She is firmly trapped in this delusion that putting herself through pain in this way will somehow make up for everything she could not do - the people she cannot save.

So, it is logical that this applies to how she plans to take her life after she turns eighteen. Though her Mother’s recordings of her horrific days of torture did not ever come with video, it also didn’t take an expert to decipher the way she ended up finishing off her victims lives. ( She’d listen to some of these on her darkest days, believing it was only right for her to endure listening to those screams and pleas to make the pain stop echo in her dreams).

The pouring of gasoline, the crackle of fire - it was a horrifically painful and cruel way to finish off those poor girls once they’d lost any form of spirit within them. And so, when she plans to burn her house down with all its sins with it - she wants to be the fuse. To drench herself in a flammable liquid and set herself alight.

#suicide cw #suicidal thoughts cw #death cw #readmore is because sensitive content / major sads #IVE BEEN AVOIDING THIS ONE FOR SO LONG BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SO SAD

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vulva-o-queef · 6 years

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The whole article is worth reading, and describes the economic disparity that is a main factor for many of these women. But I’d like to emphasize a few phrases:

“Even women with a place to go describe feeling invisible. “They may have a house. They may have a family. But that doesn’t mean they have a place they feel at home,” says Yumi Muranaka, head warden of Iwakuni Women’s Prison, 30 miles outside Hiroshima. “They feel they are not understood. They feel they are only recognized as someone who gets the house chores done.””

Ms. F, 89 “I was living alone on welfare. I used to live with my daughter’s family and used all my savings taking care of an abusive and violent son-in-law.”

Ms. T, 80 “My husband had a stroke six years ago and has been bedridden ever since. He also has dementia and suffers from delusions and paranoia. It was a lot to take care of him physically and emotionally because of my old age. But I couldn’t talk about my stress with anyone because I was ashamed.”

Ms. N, 80 “I was alone every day and feeling very lonely. My husband gave me a lot of money, and people always told me how lucky I was, but money wasn’t what I wanted. It didn’t make me happy at all.

“The first time I shoplifted was about 13 years ago. I wandered into a bookstore in town and stole a paperback novel. I was caught, taken to a police station, and questioned by the sweetest police officer. He was so kind. He listened to everything I wanted to say. I felt I was being heard for the first time in my life. In the end, he gently tapped on my shoulder and said, ‘I understand you were lonely, but don’t do this again.’”

#i don't know how to tag articles #feminism #japan #prison #women's prison

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officialotakudome · 3 years

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New Post has been published on Otaku Dome | The Latest News In Anime, Manga, Gaming, Tech, and Geek Culture

New Post has been published on https://otakudome.com/sentai-announces-may-slate-and-7seeds/

Sentai Announces May Slate And 7Seeds

Senta Filmworks has announced upcomng home video titles and the acquisition of 7Seeds:

HOUSTON, TX — February 22, 2021 — Sentai announced today that it will be releasing the second season of post-apocalyptic anime series 7SEEDS, based on the award-winning manga of the same name, on home video in Spring 2021.

Season 2 picks up where Season 1 left off. A meteor strike has left the world a shattered shell of what it once was, but a government initiative involving cryogenics has given humanity a fighting chance. To date, the subjects of the 7SEEDS project have survived giant insects, post-apocalyptic weather, ferocious animals, and the greatest danger of all: other survivors, all of whom will do anything to live another day. But the 7SEEDS project’s chosen few aren’t safe yet, and the monumental mission of rebuilding society has only just begun.

A Studio KAI (Cagaster of an Insect Cage, Uma Musume: Pretty Derby Season 2) production, 7SEEDS’ second season is directed by Yukio Takahashi (director Dog & Scissors, episode director LASTEXILE -Fam, The Silver-, Moribito: Guardian of the Spirit and The Qwaser of Stigmata) while Toko Machida (Akame ga Kill!, Chaika -The Coffin Princess-, Wake Up, Girls!) provides series composition. The series stars the vocal talents of Nao Toyama (GATE, My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU, KAKURIYO -Bed & Breakfast for Spirits-) as Natsu Iwashimizu, Jun Fukuyama (Love, Chunibyo and Other Delusions, Assassination Classroom, Maoyu ~ Archenemy & Hero) as Arashi Aota and Yoko Hikasa (BanG Dream! 2nd Season, K-ON!, No Game, No Life) as Hana Sugurono.

7SEEDS is based upon the manga of the same name by Yumi Tamura; in 2007, the manga received the 52nd Shogakukan Manga Award for “Best Shojo (Girl’s) Manga.”

For Sentai’s latest announcements regarding this and other great titles, be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

OUSTON, February 23, 2021 – Home video distributor Section23 Films today announced its May slate of releases which includes Season 3 & 4 of Sentai Filmworks hit series, AHIRU NO SORA! Available on Blu-ray May 25th and also included in the Season 1-4 Limited Edition Premium Box Set!

Product details follow, in order of release

Coming May 2021

Title: GATE

Published by: Sentai Filmworks

Distributed by: Section23 Films

Run Time: 600 min.

Street Date: 5/4/2021

Format: BD

Language: English & Japanese with English Subtitles

SRP: $59.98

SYNOPSIS: When a dimensional rift appears in downtown Tokyo and begins spewing an army of monsters and men in medieval armor, 33-year-old JSDF officer Yoji Itami’s hobbies of fantasy novels and video games suddenly complement his military training and help rout an invasion from another world! They also make him a natural choice for the first major expeditionary force to be sent into the Gate, and what he and the JSDF find on the other side is both amazing and terrifying. Elves. Dragons. Beast people. But there’s a far worse danger to be feared, because while spears, shields and even giant teeth can be countered with modern weapons, nothing is as ruthless, deadly or hard to stop as the treachery of men who will sacrifice anything or anyone in order to control the new world on the other side of the GATE.

Title: 7 SEEDS SEASON 2

Published by: Sentai Filmworks

Distributed by: Section23 Films

Run Time: 300 min.

Street Date: 5/11/2021

Format: BD

Language: English & Japanese with English Subtitles

SRP: $69.98

SYNOPSIS: After the Earth was transformed into a world of strange and monstrous creatures and plants, a global seeding program released small teams to retrieve caches of supplies and knowledge. Having been expelled from one such team, Team Summer A, Ango and Ryo roam the seas until they discover Team Summer B stranded on an island. Will things go more smoothly with this new team? Or will greed, deception and the lust for power become a deadlier enemy than the beasts and flora? The hellscape that was Japan is a lethal Eden, and the Seeds have brought their own serpents with them in the second part of 7 SEEDS!

Title: BABYLON

Published by: Sentai Filmworks

Distributed by: Section23 Films

Run Time: 300 min.

Street Date: 5/11/2021

Format: BD

Language: English & Japanese with English Subtitles

SRP: $69.98

SYNOPSIS: Everything can be connected to something else if you dig hard enough, and when you’re investigating a crime, it usually doesn’t take too long before you start finding the clues you need, if you know where to look. When Public Prosecutor Zen Seizaki starts investigating a case of apparent fraud by a major pharmaceutical company, however, he quickly finds himself entangled in a nightmarish web of lies, intrigue and murder on a global scale. And even worse, how can he fight a foe without a face, one that’s protected by members of the highest echelons of society and government, and seems to be able to convince its own victims to kill themselves? The nightmares of modern science are powered by old-fashioned corruption and greed, and one man may be the only force that can stop them in BABYLON.

Title: KARAKURI CIRCUS

Published by: Sentai Filmworks

Distributed by: Section23 Films

Run Time: 900 min.

Street Date: 5/18/2021

Format: BD

Language: Japanese with English Subtitles

SRP: $99.98

SYNOPSIS: When Narumi Kato, a martial artist afflicted with the bizarre condition known as Zonapha syndrome, attempts to rescue a young boy from incredibly powerful attackers, he is stunned to discover that his opponents aren’t even human! Pulled into a conflict pitting users of l puppets and the self-aware Automatons against each other, Narumi finds himself rescued by an unusual young woman named Shirogane, who has her own puppet, Arlequin, and together they must form an alliance to protect the boy, Masaru, who has recently inherited an incredible fortune. But who is trying to kill Masaru and what is the origin of these incredible animated creations? How is it tied in with Narumi’s own affliction? The truth surrounding a 200 year old shadow war unfolds as Narumi, Shirogane, and Masaru battle to survive in KARAKURI CIRCUS!

Title: AHIRU NO SORA SEASON 3 & 4

Published by: Sentai Filmworks

Distributed by: Section23 Films

Run Time: 650 min.

Street Date: 5/25/2021

Format: BD

Language: English & Japanese with English Subtitles

SRP: $89.98

SYNOPSIS: The ramshackle basketball team that Sora Kurumatani’s love for basketball forged from a collection of juvenile delinquents and random high school archetypes has made it past their initial training and practice games, but are they ready to compete in a real tournament? They’ll find out as they face off against the far more seasoned and experienced team from Shinjo Towa Academy. But even if they dig down and find a way to play better than they’ve ever played before, there are more teams ready and waiting in the wings, including the relentless squad from Yokohama Taiei. The drama is intense both on and off the boards, as tensions fly, members of the fledgling team start to crack, and Sora’s own situation hits a point that may tear the team apart in the second spectacular collection of AHIRU NO SORA!

Title: AHIRU NO SORA PREMIUM BOX SET

Published by: Sentai Filmworks

Distributed by: Section23 Films

Run Time: 1250 min.

Street Date: 5/25/2021

Format: BD

Language: English & Japanese with English Subtitles

SRP: $129.98

SYNOPSIS: Sora Kurumatani is short and as scrawny as a stick figure, but he loves basketball with a burning passion. Unfortunately, on his first day at Kuzuryu High, he learns that the school’s supposed basketball team is nothing of the sort. Instead of a haven for aspiring athletes, the gym has become the home turf for a gang of thugs, delinquents and perverts whose only skill at dribbling involves drooling on the floor while peeking into the girls’ locker room. But since Kurumatani has to play to fulfill a promise made to his ailing mother, he’ll have to take these sour lemons and squeeze-play out a winning basketball team somehow. Impossible? Perhaps. But with the help of a counselor and members of the girls’ club, he’ll do his best to get them all on the rebound in AHIRU NO SORA!

Title: BAKI

Published by: Sentai Filmworks

Distributed by: Section23 Films

Run Time: 650 min.

Street Date: 5/25/2021

Format: BD

Language: English & Japanese with English Subtitles

SRP: $89.98

SYNOPSIS: In the deadly underground world of no-holds-barred fighting, one name reigns supreme: Yujiro Hanma, aka “The Ogre,” a legendary martial artist whose incredible strength, skill, and savage ferocity are so terrifying that even great nations fear him. Still, no man can stand at any pinnacle forever, and the Ogre’s son, Baki, has trained his entire young life in order to achieve his dream of rising to the top. Unfortunately, the young fighter’s escalating string of victories make him a target for the most ruthless of rivals, and an underground martial arts promoter warns him that five ultra-violent convicts are en route to Tokyo to eliminate Baki once and for all! Now, with the lives of his friends and classmates at stake, the young fighter must face his greatest challenges yet, both inside and outside of the ring, in BAKI!

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