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superhero--imagines · 3 years

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Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here!

A/N: If I had to give this part a title, I would title it “(Y/N) and their human friends” Also I lied. This part was too long so it might be another part (or two) before we get to the Bella Arc.

* “You know you would be pretty good looking without the glasses.” Lauren says twirling a strand of hair and ignoring the algebra worksheet in front of her.

* Yeah that’s kind of the whole point

* “Contacts kind of freak me out.”

* You’re expecting a snarky response but instead she nods.

* “It’s the whole sticking your finger in your eye thing right, I totally get that.” She’s watching you with such inquisitive eyes, it almost you uncomfortable.

* It’s been a few months since you started school, you’re almost at thanksgiving break. So far you feel like you’ve assimilated well, and you have a good balance between school and caring for your animals, but it’s situations like this that totally throw you off.

* “Hey (Y/N/N), what did you get for number 5?” Jessica asks, you’re thankful for the distraction.

* “I got X = 8” Jessica confirms she got that too, and moves onto the next one

* You three are in the worlds most unlikely group. You didn’t even know Lauren was in this class you usually just pair up with Jessica.

* “Hey, me and a some people from the volleyball team are going to Port Angeles, you should come with, we could give you a makeover.”

*You wonder what the other angle here is

* It didn’t take long for you to realise that somehow, even with the ugly-duckling routine, the Cullen’s were at the top of the social hierarchy.

* Part of their popularity was probably because they didn’t really seem to interact with anyone outside of their own social circle. Which just made them all the more desirable.

* “I don’t know Lauren, I would have to ask Esme if it’s okay.” Though you can already bet Rosalie isn’t going to like this.

* “Oh cool, just let me know!” Lauren smiles, it turns out the act of considering her invitation was enough to placate her.

* For once you’re actually glad Edward’s waiting for you outside of your class when the bell rings.

* “Edward read that girls mind.”

* “It’s always straight to business isn’t it. No, ‘hi Edward how’s it going?’ Or ‘How was your class, how has your morning been treating you?’ It wouldn’t hurt you to make some small talk” You give him a look, and he returns it with an expectant expression. You sigh.

* “Hi, Edward how was your class?” You plaster on a smile, and he returns with a smile of his own.

* “It was fine. A little repetitive, we’re reading “to kill a mocking bird” in English.” You nod, offering a consoling pat on the shoulder

* “That sounds super boring,” the books great and all, but you’re guessing he’s already read it like 30 times by now. “Hey Edward,”

* “Yes (Y/N),” He nods, hiding his grin behind his hand.

* “Would you mind doing me a favor?”

* “Of course, anything for you.” He grins openly now.

* “Would you mind telling me what that girl Lauren Mallory is thinking so I can know why she invited me,” and not Jessica her good friend. “to hang out?”

* Edward loses his smile.

* “The varsity members on the volleyball team suggested it, they think it’s a shame they couldn’t have got you on the team since you just moved here.”

* Unexpected but not the worst. You’ve really been half assing it in PE so you’re surprised they even want you.

* “Lauren-she thinks you could be-“ a lopsided smirk twitches onto his face. “in her words- ‘two super good looking best friends’ “

*oh. So she just wants a pretty b*tch squad?

* “Maybe I’ll go with them then” you were scared they were going to force you to show them the Cullen’s house and introduce you to everyone, or leave you stranded in port A as some kind of prank or something.

* Edward stops you

*“you can’t be serious” he has his eyebrows scrunched together

* “Why not?” Nothing more natural to fitting in then hanging out with your classmates. Unless- “if you’re worried about any accidents don’t, I know they all look healthy but they eat a lot of carbs. Way too starchy for my palette.”

* “It’s not that-“ he gets that brooding-existence is suffering look. “You shouldn’t trust humans too much, they’ll let you down.”

* Well what’s that supposed to mean, but before you can ask he’s already walking to his class.

* Well whatever, at least Emmett will tell you a good joke to take your mind off of Mr. Eternal Damnations ominous words.

* Too bad when you get inside he’s not here, instead Mike Newton perks up when you walk into the room.

* “Hey Eleazar, how’s it going?” You still have a hard time adjusting to use Eleazar’s name as your own. Apparently they came from a time when last names were only for nobles, so he offered you his first name instead.

* “Hey Newton, any plans for this weekend?” You take Edward’s advice and start with small talk. Mike Newton smiles, you guess he’s kinda cute, all soft cheeks and baby blue eyes

* “No I’m completely free!” Weird how he’s so enthusiastic about being alone, he must be one of those “relish time alone” types. Good for him.

* “Everyone needs some time alone sometimes.” He deflates, oh man you guess that’s the wrong thing to say.

* He looks like he wants to say something to you, but then Emmett sits beside you.

* “Can I have a swig from your water bottle?” You hand it over

* “Making out with Rosalie make you thirsty?” Emmett cracks a grin

* “It’s that whole bookworm-soccer mom get up, it gets to me yknow?” That’s actually pretty funny

* “So what she’s the Velma to your Freddy?” When the reference doesn’t sink in you rephrase “the nerd to your jock.” He grins again.

* “I think I might join the swim team just so I can see her wear my letterman” that’s actually pretty cute

* “You should do that, I’ll cheer you on at your swim meets” Emmett grins.

*”I’ll hold you to that”

* School life goes on like it always has.

* Weeks pass, marked by tests, homework assignments and projects.

* You actually kind of become friends with Angela, Lauren, Jessica, Connor and Mike.

* “So like, are you and Cullen close?” Mike asks. You and the group are over at Tyler’s house using his fire pit to roast marshmallows. The others are invested in another conversation but you can tell by Lauren’s subtle head tilt that she’s eavesdropping.

* “Which one?” Mike gets flustered at that

* “The one in our grade.”

* “Hmm, well I’d say Alice and I are kinda close, but-“

* “N-no not her,” he clears his throat. “The other one-Edward”

* “Oh, Edward’s my best friend.” The answer slips out automatically.

* “I-Is that why you’re staying with the Cullen’s?” Jessica asks. Everyone’s blatantly listening now, the only one who seems uncomfortable is Angela.

* You sigh. You know everyone at school is probably wondering about the weird relationship. Jessica’s just the only one brave enough to ask you.

* “I mean, it might be.” You’re sure, Edward’s friendship with you is the reason everyone was so quick to accept the living arrangement. “But I actually met Car-I mean Dr. Cullen before I met the others.”

* “How does that work?” It’s Connor who pipes in this time.

* “Well-“ you sigh you really don’t want to do this but at least your sob story will make you seem less suspicious. “So Eleazer and Carmen, they’re my parents, but they’re not my birth parents.”

* You tell them how your parents passed away in an accident many years ago, and how Carlisle had been your Doctor at the time while you recovered. He worked with you for a long time, and you’re pretty sure he wanted to adopt you, but the agency liked Carmen and Eleazer better, probably because Carlisle already had so many adopted kids.

* “Still, Carlisle stayed in my life as my doctor and a family friend. Then I met Edward and the rest of the Cullen’s and... the rest is history...I guess.” You’ve found it’s best to mix a little bit of truth into the lie, though really all of that was mostly what happened.

* Everyone looks testy eyed, Angela is holding back tears, and Lauren hastily wipes her away so no one can see. You wonder if maybe your powers leaked out a bit while you were telling your story.

* “Dude... you’re so strong.” Tyler claps a hand on your shoulder and pulls you into a hug.

* “Ah, it all happened a long time ago, I’m mostly over it now” You tell them all about your Coven in Denali, and how you have two families now, how you don’t regret anything. Well, the only thing you regret, is not staying human, but you can’t mention that so you fake a smile instead.

* Connor breaks out a bottle of vodka he stole from his mom, and pours a shot for everyone

* “To (Y/N)” everyone raises their glass, and not for the first time you feel the urge to cry but no tears escape you.

* You’re a lot closer to everyone after that. You even start sitting at their lunch table every so often.

* In fact the others follow your lead and assimilate with their classmates with ease. Rosalie joins the school book club, and very loudly debates Jane Austen’s to whoever will listen.

* Emmett follows through and joins the swim team. Jasper starts hanging out with some wood shop kids, you’ve caught him arguing about the superior wood in between classes with his new friends. Even Alice joins the art club.

* You try out for the dance/cheer team, it’s the only thing you don’t have to hold back in. Also you’re a great base, you could hold everyone on the team up single handedly during stunts. But you won’t know if you made it until summer vacation

* Everyone seems to be assimilating well, everyone except for Edward

* “You can’t expect me to trust these people (Y/N), not when I know everything they’re really thinking.” You roll your eyes

* “I’m not saying you have to be their best friend Eddie, I’m just saying it looks super suspicious that all the Cullen’s only hang out with each other and refuse to get to know anyone else.” You shove a text book into his chest, and he scoffs

* “It wouldn’t hurt to make some small talk.”

* And so Edward joins your group of human friends, much to the joy of your female companions and dismay of your male ones.

* Life is still strange. But it’s good.

* When you’re surrounded by your new friends, it makes you feel - almost like you’re human again

* And then everything falls apart.

* It’s almost summer vacation. You’re excited, maybe you can go to the beach again soon, and you wonder if it will be alright to take a trip to Denali to see your Coven. You’re pretty confident you made the spirit squad so you’ll have to pencil in camp somewhere. You held back, but just enough by your own parameters to make the bottom end of Varsity.

* You’re at your locker, when Rosalie, and Edward show up. Quickly followed by Emmett, Jasper and Alice.

* “Oh hey guys, you wanna go on a hike tomorrow it’s supposed-“

* “You have to leave.” You’re surprised when it’s Emmett that says this. Kind, jovial Emmett holds a grave expression.

* “What, why-“ for a second you wonder if the Volturi has finally come to get you. It’s been at least seven years since your transformation, it’s about time they started thinking about you.

* But then you notice everyone staring, the quiet buzz of phones vibrating only detected by your super hearing. People are always staring, especially when you’re all together. but this time you notice they’re not staring at the six super models gathered in front of the lockers.

* They’re staring at you.

* “There’s a video of you going around,” Jasper says, and Rosalie placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I think it’s better if you see for yourself.”

* He hands you his blackberry, and the grainy image of you come into focus.

* It’s a YouTube video

* You’re in the locker room, your (Your Color Skin) in full view under the fluorescent lights. You’re wearing your underwear, and your abs are on full display. You’re Grey PE uniform shirt is limp in your hands, you remember this, you got extra laps as a penalty and as a result, you were running late for class, you were alone in the locker room

*well you thought you were alone.

* Your body is literally perfect, the way you’ve always dreamed, but you feel white hot shame rise in your throat like acid.

* Your hands shake as you scroll down to see the comments

* ‘Damn who knew they had a body like that under those dorky sweaters’

* ‘(Y/N) Eleazar: Best body Forks HS 10/10 would f*ck’

* ‘Hot body, if only they ditched the glasses, and started wearing some tighter shirts’

* And the comments go on, there’s at least a hundred. You hold your cardigan a little closer to your body. You don’t have the courage to turn around. You can already imagine them staring at you, picturing what they saw in the video transposed onto your body

* “I’m sorry, I didn’t see this coming until it was already happening-“ Alice touches your shoulder and continues her apology but you don’t hear anything.

* You want to cry, you want to be angry. But all you feel is shame. And the worst part is, you didn’t even do anything wrong. So why do you feel so ashamed?

* “Hey, look at me.” Edward grabs your face in his hands, your amber eyes meet his.

*”Snap out of it.”

* Oh, your powers are leaking through.

*Your gaze turns to your foster family, all of whom sport equally uncomfortable expressions.

* You take a deep breath, and imagine reeling in your emotions, imagining them receding back into a locked box, just like Eleazer taught you.

* You need a calm mind right now.

* “Are you fine now?” Edward asks, his hands still on your face. You nod, resting your hand on top of his

* “I’m good.”

* “Good, because we have to get you out of here.” He’s moved his hand to your arm, about to tug you back home when you pull back and shake your head.

* “We can’t do that.”

* “What do you mean?” Rosalie hisses, her hand curls around your wrist “we have to leave NOW.”

* “No think about it, they’re right.” Jasper says, his eyes meeting yours. At least someone’s on the same oage

* “Think about it Rose, if I leave now with all of you it’s going to look weird.” Normal 15-17 year olds wouldn’t think to handle the situation on their own, especially not entitled rich kids like the Cullen’s.

*She seems to have gotten it because her hand retreats to her side.

* “Well what should we do then, I’m not letting you walk around here with everyone-“ she cuts herself off, a deep frown creasing onto her face as her teeth dig into her bottoms lip.

* “We need to call Carlisle or Esme, they’ll pretend they saw the video from someone else and file a complaint with the school.” You take a deep breath, and imagine the locked box in your mind. Your emotions held carefully within.

* “Until then we all need to pretend like it’s not a big deal.”

* “No way in hell am I doing that!” Emmett growls. “I’m going to rip that fucking peeping Tom piece by piece.”

* “Not all of us need to pretend,” Alice says, her gaze somewhere far away, flicking between futures. “Only Edward, Rosalie and I do.” Her gaze lands on you.

* “You need to go to your class like normal,” a hint of a smile curls onto her mouth. “Everything’s going to work out fine.” Edward’s focusing on Alice, reliving her vision.

* “Do you think you can manage being alone?” Edward asks, you don’t have the next class with any of the Cullen’s. You’ll be on your own.

* You catch Jasper and Alice whispering to each other, but pay it no mind. Flirting even in the middle of your entire world crumbling down.

* You take a deep breath, picturing the locked box over and over, making it a visual mantra.

* “I can get through a period.” Everyone disperses, and Jasper walks you to your next class. Edward wanted to, but Jasper insisted.

*”You’re always hogging them, give someone else a few minutes Edward.”

* You’re almost near your class when Jasper talks to you.

* “Hey, I don’t know if I should tell you this”

*You wonder if he’s going to offer to beat up the person who took the video, or if he’s going to offer you a comforting word.

* “Alice told me you’re going to raise some hell on a misogynist in there” he gives you a wicked grin, his incisors sparkling.

* How is it that every vampire seems to say what you least expect to hear and yet, it’s exactly what you need in the moment.

* He holds out his fist, and you bump it with your own. A grin curling onto your face.

* “Hell yeah I am.”

* You take your usual seat in Spanish like normal. You sit in the front row in this class, diagonally from Jessica. Mike and Angela sit somewhere in the back.

* You just need to focus and keep your emotions in check for 45 minutes. You visualize the box, calming yourself separating the mind and body.

* How did the saying go... a calm soul resides in a calm body?

* “-Zar, Miss. Eleazar!” Your eyes pop up to the teacher, the locked box falling out of grasp.

* “Yes, sorry?” The teacher sighs, you look to the white board to see you’re going over the answers to the worksheet. You’re about to provide the answer for the number you’re on when the teacher cuts you off.

* “I know you might be focused on body building, but in my class you need to focus on the material.” There’s a scattered laugh that fills the room, but your blood runs cold

* “Excuse me?”

* And that’s when your teacher knew he fucked up. He stutters over himself, the sentences overlapping

* “-really you should take it as a compliment-“

* “Oh you think I should take it as a compliment that someone recorded me without my consent while I was changing?”

* The rooms pin drop silent. Your teacher is sweating.

* “Hold on now- I think you’re being a little dramatic don’t you think” A smirk curls onto his lips. “You were in your underwear, it was really no different than wearing a swimsuit” he’s got this smug smile, like he’s right.

*Honestly you were ready to put everything behind you and move on if he just apologized. It’s gross that a teacher is watching videos of a student changing, but what would you have done in his situation if a co-worker showed you.

* “It’s all about perspective, a positive per-“

* But not anymore, you’re not in a forgiving mood, especially not for an idiot like this.

* “No it’s all about consent.” All the anger and despair you’ve been holding back comes flooding out. “When someone wears a swimsuit they’re consenting to show skin and be seen, but I wasn’t contesting to being seen when I was changing in the privacy of the locker room.” You don’t stop for air, your voice trembling

* “And another thing, I wonder how the school administration will feel knowing the same faculty that’s supposed to make students feel safe and enrich their lives is watching creepy videos-“ you stop when you meet your teachers eyes, tears streaming down his face.

* Oh f*ck

* You look to your right, finding your classmates in a similar state, holding back tears.

*So this is what happens to humans when they come in contact with your power.

* You try to visualize the box, but it’s too far now. And all the crying people around you don’t help.

*You need to get out of here.

* “Pathetic, not even an apology for your gas lighting.” She shake your head as confidently as you can, grabbing your bag with trembling hands.

* You walk quickly, maybe there’s a mountain you can climb and wait it out on. You’ll text Carlisle and let him now what happened. It shouldn’t be too-

*” Hey wait!”

* You’re already in the hallway when someone call out to you. You turn, expecting it to be Angela or Mike. Never in a million years would you expect her to be standing there in the middle of the hall, her hand hastily wiping away a stray tear.

* “Mr. Peterson’s a f*cking jerk.” Jessica sniffles, walking quickly to catch up with you. You don’t miss the fact that her bags not slung across her back.

* She must have left a minute after you did. You haven’t thought about her as a friend. Not a real one at least. She’s kind of like hot sauce, it’s fun when it’s around, but if it’s not then that’s not a big deal.

* So to see her here, the first to follow you out, rambling about wether you want to get frozen yogurt or pizza, it warms your unbeating heart.

* “Hey Jessica?” She stops mid-sentence, her eyes swinging up to you.

* You haven’t been fair to her. But you’re going to change that.

* “Thanks for being my friend.” And she smiles at you, her arms wrapped around her tight. It’s not the fake ones you see often the ones she throws to Lauren when she’s asking for Jessica’s opinion on an outfit, or when Connor tries to copy her homework’s. it’s a genuine smile.

* Before she can open her mouth, you hear two more shouts from the hallway.

*Angela and Mike are jogging down the hallway to catch up with you. The latter carrying a bright pink backpack in his hand.

* “Geez Jess, the least you could do is take your bag before you go bolting out of there” Mike’s panting as he holds out her bag. You don’t miss the blush ghosting her face.

*Looks like she still has a crush on him.

* “Hey, are you okay?” Angela asks, and you wish you could cry as you nod.

* “Is it weird that I’m kind of happy right now?” And the three of them smile, before wrapping you into a group hug.

*They all smell terrible. Jessica smells like boiled broccoli, Mike is like the overwhelming stench of fat mixed with sugar, and Angela.. Angela’s probably the worst. She’s sickeningly sweet mixed with a healthy dose of starch.

*it’s disgusting. You have a hard time believing any of the Cullen’s would lose their minds when they’re this close to any of them.

*still, even with the repulsive stench, it’s nice. You haven’t felt the body gets of another human in a long time, or heard the quiet thump of their beating heart. Even the odor is nice, it reminds you that they’re human.

*And for a second it’s easier to pretend you’re human too, just like them.

* “Dude why are you so cold?” Jessica groans, breaking the moment. She taps your arm but doesn’t pull away.

* “While we’re asking questions, Mike how much axe do you use?” Angela’s eyes are watering as you both laugh.

* “Like you’re one to talk, I can smell your strawberry shampoo two hallways over!”

* You watch the three of them untangle and start walking to the back exit from the gym.

* “So where do we go now? We can’t stay here.” Angela says

* “I was thinking maybe a coffee shop, if we take out books we might pass for having a free period” Jessica pipes in

* “Oh, how about the Arcade? A buddy of mine works there since he’s already on break from college, I don’t think he’ll minds us hanging out there.”

* So this is what Alice meant when she said everything was going to be okay.

*Your Human Friends were going to save you

*You haven’t forgotten Edward’s warning, someone did break your trust and let you down.

* But that’s what it means to build friendships, you open yourself to being hurt, and so do they.

* “Hey (Y/N/N), what do you think?” Mike asks, and they all turn around to notice you’re not walking with them.

*You try not to smile to wide. You don’t want to scare them off now.

* “I think there’s something fun about an arcade during the day, no lines.” You say, walking a little bit faster to catch up with your friends.

Tag list: @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show

#twilight imagines #twilight reader insert #twilight headcanon #twilight imagine #twilight saga #twilight #Edward Cullen #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen imagine #Emmett cullen #Emmett cullen x Rosalie hale #rosalie hale #Jasper hale x Alice cullen #Edward Cullen x y/n #Edward Cullen x you #midnight sun #superhero—imagines

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bromfieldhall · 7 years

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What Makes You Beautiful - A Mentalist Fanfiction

TIMELINE: Set some in the future after series four finale. Minor spoilers.

SYNOPSIS: “Yesterday I made a New Year’s resolution. I’m going to give myself one whole year to woo and win the love of California Bureau of Investigation’s Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon.”

PAIRING: Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

CHAPTER 9

"The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed"

~ What Makes You Beautiful ~ 1D

September 18th – 1.00pm

I've been feeling very unsettled and out of sorts lately. My moods seem to be all over the place and I'm having a hard time internalising everything and keeping myself on an even keel.

I don't think Lisbon or the rest of the team suspect anything. I'm quite adept at hiding my emotions, which is good, because inside I'm a writhing mass of guilt and indecision…and some of it is down to the fact that Lorelei wants me to go and visit her.

I've been getting calls from the prison every week since the anniversary of Red John's death just over a month ago.

I haven't told Lisbon. I know she won't agree to my going and I've been undecided what to do…because part of me wants to see Lorelei one last time. Not because I have any feelings for her, on the contrary, but just to get some kind of closure I guess. She's one of the last things about my past that I haven't really dealt with and I honestly think it's something I need to do.

Don't get me wrong, I feel guilty about it. I hate keeping things from Lisbon and it's really starting to weigh me down because I'm beginning to realise that it's a no win situation. I should have just said something when I had the first call but now…I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't.

If she ever finds out there's going to be hell to pay, mainly by me, because she won't understand why I feel the need to go. I just know it. She still thinks that there was something more emotional going on with me than just using Lorelei to get to Red John. There wasn't…not on my side anyway. I simply did what I needed to do in order to get her to betray that maniac and all I ever briefly felt for her was pity when I found out about her past. We were both victims of Red John in our own way. I just chose the better path…although there are those out there that would contradict me on that, I'm sure.

To add to my discomposure, my realtor called and told me they had a buyer for my house. Someone from out of state who doesn't know the history and simply likes it for what and where it is. It's quicker than I expected but I'm pleased nonetheless. It's as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders in that regard. I hadn't realised just how much of a burden it's been all these years but even so, I can't quite quell the slight pang of remorse I feel over actually letting it go.

I was going to mention about the house while Lisbon and I had lunch but we've been called out on a case instead. A woman's body has been dumped by the side of a road near a popular picnic spot about forty minutes away. Rigsby and Cho get into their car while we get into the SUV and she drives as usual. I really don't mind, it gives me the welcome distraction of openly staring at her while we travel. I keep it professional in the office and at a crime scene…well, as professional as I can being me, but here I can forget about everything else for a little while and just feast my eyes on her loveliness to my hearts content.

"Quit staring, I can't concentrate."

"Spoilsport," I mutter and turn my head just enough to seem as though I'm not looking anymore.

"I know what you're doing," she points out wryly a few seconds later.

I roll my eyes and let out a very melodramatic sigh. The hell with it.

"Meh, you're just going to have to put up with it," I reply with an unconcerned shrug of my shoulders and openly resume my perusal.

She tries not to smile but I know she enjoys the attention really. I let my gaze run over her hair; it's fast becoming my new obsession along with those incredible lips of hers. I seem to have a constant need to touch the soft waves whenever I can and when she has it up in a ponytail, like now, my fingers literally itch to let it down.

I think that's why she wears it like that. She definitely knows I have a thing for her hair and it seems to amuse her no end that it frustrates me when she puts it up like that for work where I can do nothing about it. Little minx.

I prefer it down where I can feel it surrounding my hands as I hold her head still to kiss her. Just as I had last night. I shift a little uncomfortably in my seat and turn to gaze out of the car window as I recall how heated it had gotten before I'd forced myself to slow it down. It's not that I'm not interested. Lord knows, I am. After years of self-imposed emotional celibacy I'm more than ready to express my love for her in any sense but…it's just, while I'm still wearing my ring it doesn't feel right. Not with her. It wouldn't be fair and I want our first time to be free of any of my encumbrances. I don't want her wondering afterwards whether it really meant anything because I'm still displaying what is, in her eyes, devotion to my dead wife and child.

My ring isn't that at all though. I realised that some time ago. Yes, I still love Angela and Charlotte, I'll never stop but the ring is a reminder of my guilt not my affection. And it's that that I'm finding the hardest to let go of or, at the very least, come to terms with and until I can do that, I have a very real fear that I may never take it off.

"Everything OK?" she suddenly asks casually, breaking into my inner turmoil.

I glance over at her and see her gaze dart briefly to my hand then back to the road. I look down and find myself absently fiddling with my ring and let out a small, agitated sigh as I abruptly stop. I don't even realise I'm doing it any more.

"Just thinking about last night," I reply with a tight smile. It's not a lie. Not completely anyway.

"I told you, I'm OK with taking it slow if that's what you want," she says in reassuring tone.

"I know. Doesn't make it less frustrating though," I answer with a slight grimace.

"You're always frustrating," she tells me meaningfully then, in a rare display of affection, she reaches out across the centre console and takes my left hand and raises it to her lips to place a brief kiss on the back. "But I'm used to it."

I have to smile at her and wonder what, in my very chequered past, did I do to deserve her? Unsurprisingly, I can think of nothing.

She releases my hand only when we get to the scene and I relish the illicit taste of intimacy we shared on a workday. It's nice to know she's happy to bend the rules when it suits. Makes it easier for me to get away with a few things too.

We alight from the SUV and wait for Cho and Rigsby to catch us up before heading over to an officer to find out who's in charge. He points to the Sheriff who is standing by the dead body we've come to investigate and we walk over. The first thing I notice about him is that he's in his late thirties and really quite tall. The second thing I notice is the way his eyes light up and his polite smile widens into an appreciative grin when he sees Lisbon.

My Lisbon.

She introduces us all to him but I shove my hands deep into my pockets and merely give him a slight nod of acknowledgement in response to his courteous greeting before turning away. I don't like him.

He gives us all the usual information on our victim, which in this case is nothing much as they haven't found a purse or any I.D. on her person.

Rigsby and Cho head off to do…whatever it is Lisbon tells them to do. I wasn't listening. I'm too busy checking over the body while covertly watching the Sheriff blatantly checking out my partner. Well, blatant to me anyway. In her defence, Lisbon seems unaware of the subtle indicators that I find so obvious.

His whole body language fairly screams its interest and I can feel something start to bubble away deep inside of me before suddenly bursting forth to pound heatedly through my veins.

It isn't jealousy. Oh, no, no, no. This is something far more primitive and basic. It is possessive and territorial and I've never felt like this about any woman before in my entire life.

I think I was so certain of Angela's feelings for me and mine for her that I never had need for this kind of emotion. With Lisbon it's different. I feel vulnerable. I only have a memory from a time I was heavily drugged to cling to after all. What if I misheard? Or worse, made it all up in my head because I so badly want it to be true?

I try and dismiss my negative thoughts and determinedly look back down at the dead woman in order to get this case solved so that we can leave. I manage to last a few seconds before I can't help but glance up at them again and my jaw clenches painfully when I see him smile, remove his hat then pull back his shoulders and straighten up to his full height, puffing out his chest like a proud peacock trying to entice a mate. I swear to God I think I'm going to see a fan of feathers sprout out of his ass any second now.

Unable to watch anymore, I stand up suddenly and Lisbon looks over at me expectantly.

"You got anything?" she asks with interest.

"Maybe," I reply non-committedly as I gesture at a nearby copse of trees then look back at her. "I just want to take a look around first though. You coming?"

"Sure."

She joins me by the body and I head over to the wood with her following close behind. Her easy agreement at accompanying me should soothe my almost feral urge to stake a claim on what I consider mine…but it really doesn't.

"So what are we looking for?" she asks when we've walked deeper into the wood for a couple of minutes in silence.

I stop and turn to face her. A quick glance around tells me that no-one can see us and on pure primal instinct I grab her by the arms and push her back up against the closest tree. She lets out a little cry of surprise but before she can object my lips are roughly on hers and I pin her to the abrasive trunk with my body. It's urgent and passionate and my hands automatically go to her head where I work that damned band from her hair. I had been prepared for her to resist but instead she lets out a small groan of capitulation and her arms go around my neck almost immediately. Kiss for kiss, she matches me, fire with fire and the realisation of just how good we'd be together if I could just let things go merely ignites my ardour further.

I can feel my control slipping away and I know I have to stop this before it goes too far. That fleeting thought brings me to my senses just enough for me to finally tear my mouth from hers. I stand and stare at her as I take in deep ragged breaths while I try and get a grip on my turbulent emotions.

I don't even really understand what this is about. I'm not used to feeling this out of control. But with my ring, the house, Lorelei…the guilt…my insecurities about the Sheriff…I think it just all suddenly got too much for me. I guess I just snapped.

But I'm back in control of myself now…kind of.

I take a shaky step away from her and see that she's almost slumped back against the tree. Her eyes are still closed and she's breathing just as heavily as me. Her hair is wild and beautiful about her face and even though I know she's going to be as angry as all hell with me for doing this, the egotistical side of me can't help but be highly satisfied at the result.

She looks positively ravished.

Her eyes flutter open and she stares at me dazed for a few seconds before slowly straightening up and smoothing down her clothes.

"What the hell was that all about?" she asks, genuinely confused but not particularly upset. I'm surprised.

I stall a moment by clearing my throat and rubbing a hand over the back of my neck as I try and come up with a plausible reason as to why I've just acted like a caveman…other than telling her that I had an irrational need to remind her we're together. Somehow I don't think that would be received too well.

I rapidly run through the list of things that are swirling around in my head and pick the one that's least likely to myself shot…and garner most sympathy. At least I have the cold comfort of knowing it's not a lie.

"I'm sorry, Teresa, I just…the realtor called before we left. There's a buyer for the house and it's all happened so quickly that I didn't…I don't know…look, there's no excuse and I'm sorry."

I feel like such a heel when I see her expression soften and she nods her head in apparent understanding. Of what I have no clue. I have no idea how she rationalises my actions being in any way linked with the sale of my house and I'm at once humbled and a little ashamed that she is so ready to keep taking this crap from me. I really need to get my head and my own personal demons sorted out as soon as possible.

"Damn it!" she suddenly exclaims holding back her hair with one hand while slowly turning around in a circle as she looks down at the leaf covered ground.

"What's wrong?" I query with a frown.

"I've lost my hair band," she answers, so engrossed in the fruitless search that she doesn't even look at me. If she did she'd see that I still have it in my hand and I'm about to give it back to her until she adds, "If I go back with my hair like this people are going to think we were up to something."

"Well, we were," I point out reasonably as I surreptitiously put the band into my pocket.

I may not be particularly proud of myself at the moment but it's not enough to stop me from wanting that Sheriff to back off. This will be perfect.

"Jane!" she hisses out, obviously annoyed that I'm not in the least bit bothered. "You did this so just help me find it."

I huff out an exasperated sigh and make a show of walking about and kicking at leaves.

"No one will even notice, Teresa," I say dismissively.

"Cho will," she retorts irritably.

She's right of course, he doesn't miss a trick.

"But he won't say anything," I counter calmly. "Come on, let's just go back. I need to have another look at that body."

I smile as I watch her pat down her hair then flip it back over her shoulders as if it'll fool people into thinking it's still up. All she's managed to do is fan the flame of my desire once more and I quickly turn and walk away before I give in to my salacious thoughts again.

Much like the time a few months ago when we dealt with a body missing some limbs, she trails after me out of the wood. The Sheriff is still standing where we left him and as I approach I pull the elastic band out of my pocket. I make a show of rolling it 'absently' over my forefingers as I crouch down to check over the body…properly this time.

I feel Lisbon come to a stop behind me and glance up just as the other man's smile fades a little as he looks at her then down at me. I raise my eyebrows and give him a pointedly smug smile. With a resigned look, he puts his hat back on his head, offers a token nod of acknowledgement then stalks away.

The silent exchange only lasts a few seconds but I think I can safely say that I got my point across. He's gracious in defeat but I still don't like him.

"Is that my hair band you're playing with?"

Uh-oh.

I quickly stand and look down at the offending piece of elastic I'm holding in studied surprise.

"Oh, is that what this is? I just found it in my pocket."

She stares back at me suspiciously and I can tell she's trying to figure out just what exactly is going on. She glances over at the retreating form of the Sheriff then back at me and I can see the moment everything clicks into place by the slight widening of her eyes and shake of her head. With an irritated scowl she steps forward and reaches out to grab the elastic. Before I can relinquish my hold, however, she pulls it away from my hand then lets it go so that it snaps back against my fingers with a soft slap and a sharp sting.

Ouch.

"Just get on with your job," she orders curtly before snatching the band from my still smarting hand.

I think it best to do as she says and diligently go about my business. By the time I have anything to report, her hair is neatly tied back once more and she's got a full steam on barking out instructions left, right and centre.

I tell her my thoughts but when she merely nods to indicate that she's heard me, I know I'm in the metaphorical doghouse. I decide it's probably best if I go and help Rigsby and Cho. They give me questioning looks but don't ask. They're good friends. After an hour or so, Lisbon tells us that we're all to go back to the office as there's nothing more we can do until we find out the identity of the dead woman.

I fully expect her to send me on my way with the other two men but when she doesn't I follow her to the SUV and we get in. Once we're under way, she glances over at me and I brace myself for the tirade I'm positive is about to begin.

As usual, Lisbon surprises me. After all the years I've known her you'd think I realise she would by now.

"You know, right at this moment it's a toss up between wanting to strangle you for making me look unprofessional again or kiss you because I know how upset you must be about your house," she informs me quietly.

I stare at her in amazement then give her a small smile.

"I know which one out of the two I'd prefer," I reply, just as softly.

She looks over at me and sighs before turning back to the road.

"I thought that now we're together you'd stop hiding things from me," she mutters with a tinge of frustration.

For a horrible moment I wonder just exactly what she means. Does she somehow know about Lorelei?

I search her face avidly for any sign that she's found out my secret then, when I realise what I'm doing, I quickly turn away, angry with myself for even entertaining the idea of any subterfuge on her part. It's my own guilty conscious that's really to blame.

"I'm sorry," I apologise sincerely.

I've said that a lot today but I think it's best that I don't say anything more. No making promises of never hiding things from her, no assurances that I'll always tell her everything because I'd only be lying and I really don't want to do that.

The rest of our journey is made in relative silence only talking to each other when discussing the case. She's not really angry with me, more like sad and disappointed and to be honest that bothers me much more than when she yells.

We get back to CBI and as we head towards the bullpen my phone begins to ring. I pull it out and look down at who's calling and see that it's the prison again. I belatedly remember it's been a week since the last call and as I continue to stare at my phone I know I have a decision to make.

And it's really quite simple when I cut through all the emotional crap and come right down to it. I suppose I didn't want to acknowledge it to myself but at the end of the day I have to make a choice between Teresa and Lorelei.

Does my personal need for some closure outweigh my love for Lisbon?

"Aren't you going to answer that?" she inquires impatiently from beside me.

I look up and gaze into her beautiful stormy green eyes and smile back at her warmly as my decision becomes clear.

"No, it's nothing important," I reply as I cut off the call and place my cell back in my pocket.

She gives me a curious look then gestures to the break room.

"Tea?"

I nod my assent and follow her in amazed at how much better I already feel from just one simple act of decisiveness.

I don't know how long it will take me to assuage my guilt but I console myself with the belief that when I finally let this debilitating emotion go, at least it now won't come at the expense of the woman I love.

And although my unsettled feeling still lingers, I'm truly grateful for that.

END CHAPTER 9

#mentalist ff #mentalist fanfiction #jisbon fanfiction #jisbon ff

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