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niemernuet · 2 years

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Wishing you very happy Holidays and a great start into the new year, dear @damn-d4niel. I hope Christmas Kilde will bring you many gifts, and everything you wished for. Me, as a lowly elf, just have a little fic in my bag. I read your answer to my asks, and tried myself at a little bit of Daniel/Halvor. I hope it's something you like.

Have a nice evening.

Love, Anja

I'll be coming for you anyway

After the greetings, and the somewhat choked questions about each other's well-being, and the proposition to maybe get going, and the exaggerated bustle of climbing into the car to indeed get going, an awkward silence spread between them as neither of them knew how to continue. It was as if they had unlearnt how to act around each other, and Halvor could not find the humour in that because it was a reminder that he had never visited Daniel since that spring-day in Planica. Not even once. He kept his eyes fixated on the road, and his fingers wrapped so hard around the wheel that his knuckles stood up white.

At first he had been totally against Marius' idea but now he was glad the rest of the team was waiting for them with a big surprise party at the hill. It would give him the chance to hide, something he desperately wished he could do right now.

Daniel eventually found a way to break the silence. "Can't wait to get back", he said to the window, staring at the trees and scattered houses whizzing by. When he turned his head to look at Halvor, he was smiling. Halvor did not move his eyes one inch but he would have recognised Daniel's smile in the darkest night.

"Yeah", Halvor managed. "We're all glad you're here again. It's just not the same without you."

"I bet", Daniel quipped, "It must have been hard without your gum-dispenser."

"Hey!", Halvor shot back. "You're much more than a bubble gum storage for us! We also missed you because you're the only one who always carries tissues around."

Daniel laughed, and his cheerfulness seemed to warm the car a few degrees. Halvor smiled, and for a second looked at him. He had missed Daniel so much, every day, more than he would have ever admitted.

"Thanks for your texts, by the way", Daniel continued, and the warmth in Halvor's chest disappeared instantly.

"Yeah…welcome", he stammered, "I just thought maybe you'd want to know how it's all going…and it was so busy with…stuff, and…" His voice got lower and lower while his cheeks burnt up.

Daniel nodded, either ignoring or not recognising Halvor's mortification. He was looking out the window again. "I liked hearing from you. You never treated me different."

Halvor held his breath, trying to decipher if he was supposed to give an answer. Meanwhile, Daniel was completely lost in his thoughts.

"Everyone else has been weird ever since the fall", he continued after a while. "As if I was a broken egg. Even the coaches think I'm just pretending that I want to jump again. It's as if they couldn't imagine…" He broke off, visibly irritated. "And don't get me started on all the stupid celebrations…I know everyone means well but if I have to smile and thank for one more welcome-back-banner I'm going to scream!"

Halvor laughed, as fake as he ever did in his life. "Yeah, I guess that gets old fast."

Daniel rolled his eyes, and grinned at him. "You have no idea. And they don't believe you when you say you're alright. I snapped once, and asked one of my aunts if she really thinks me such a brainless moron. I mean, we always know something could happen. It's part of life. Now it was my turn. So what? There's always a new elevator going up to the platform." He shook his head, and huffed softly.

"That must have gone over well", Halvor said though in his mind he was somewhere entirely different.

Daniel laughed. "Mum was livid." He looked at Halvor again, more fondly this time, if Halvor could gauge it from the corner of his eyes. "That's why I appreciated your texts. No bullshit, no stupid questions, just a friend when I needed you."

Halvor nodded, choking on the rising panic. "Yes, no bullshit from me. Ever." He tried to grasp the phone in his pocket but soon gave up. Daniel would have seen the text anyway. Ahead of them, just around the last turns of the road, the gigantic ski jumping hill reached into the sky. Normally, Halvor felt the excitement rise with every meter he came closer but not today. Slowly he turned onto the half-empty parking lot in front of the club centre. When he saw the colourful balloons poking out behind one of the windows however, he sped up again, and drove behind the building.

"Halvor…", Daniel began.

"So sorry", Halvor interrupted. "I just realised I forgot something." He stopped the car, and turned around in his seat. "It'll just be a minute, okay? I'll be right back but it's really important that you wait here."

"Halvor…", Daniel tried again but he was already running towards the back door as fast as he could. He took three steps at once to the first floor, and burst into the room they had prepared. Hooting and yelling greeted him but died down instantaneously when Halvor hurried to the banner and began tearing it down from the wall.

"What the fuck?" Marius exclaimed, and lowered his camera.

"Stop everything!" Halvor hissed, and stuffed the banner into one of the cabinets lining the room. "Help me! Come on!"

"Halvor, what's going on?" Fanni asked tentatively.

Halvor took a deep breath, turned around, and explained.

_________

"Do you think he's…different?"

Ryoyu adjusted the mask over his nose, and looked up from his phone. "What?"

"Do you think Dani's different…than he used to be?" Killian repeated.

Halvor bristled at Killian's careless words but he kept his head down, and pretended not to hear him from his place at the other end of the bench. He had to focus on his first jump, and could not afford to get worked up now.

"Like…from the fall?" Ryoyu asked.

Killian shrugged, eyes fixated on Daniel who was waiting in the queue to the elevator. "Don't know…the fall or the…well, fallout. Somethings' just different, with him and the team."

Ryoyu snorted. "The team's alright if you ask me."

Killian waved him off. "Not their performance. They just seem so distant with each other. Something happened."

Ryoyu shrugged again, and turned his attention back to his phone. "Whatever", he muttered, Killian's words already forgotten.

Halvor, meanwhile, kept thinking about them until his head felt like bursting. He wanted to punch Killian, or himself. Maybe both. Killian, because he was right, and apparently not half as dense as he let on, and Halvor, because he had ruined everything he had ever had with Daniel. And he could only blame himself. The door to the elevator opened, and Daniel stepped inside. He waved at Halvor when their eyes met. Halvor nodded but it was too late, and the door had closed.

One of the coaches stepped to him, and tapped him on the shoulder. "You're next."

Halvor nodded, trying to steady his breathing. He should have focused on his first jump, instead he thought about Daniel, and his fall, and the way he had abandoned Daniel when he had needed him most. It was still occupying his mind when he sat on the bench, and looked down at Klingenthal. He knew his jump would be shit. But it was not like he did not deserve it.

Halvor was still gasping for air when Ryoyu landed on the ground but he screamed and jumped with the rest of the team as they swarmed Daniel. Their voices carried through the empty arena and made up for the missing thousands of spectators who should have cheered the return of Daniel. He still seemed in disbelief, as if he feared it might not be true after all, and only started to smile when the silver medal hung around his neck. Halvor clapped with the rest of them, ignoring the sharp pain in his chest. Nobody deserved it more than Daniel, and nobody would ruin this night. Halvor would make sure of it. They returned to their hotel, and took over the bar. When Fanni jumped on one of the tables and started another round of cheering for Daniel, Halvor excused himself to nobody in particular, and slunk back to his room.

He was in bed, too soft for his taste, mindlessly scrolling through an app on his phone, when he heard a knock at the door. He did not feel like opening but when the knocking persisted, he sighed, threw back the covers, and walked to the door.

"I'm sorry!" Daniel said, and pushed inside.

Halvor stumbled back, too surprised for words. "Wha…?"

"Please let me talk!" Daniel urged, and held up his hands. Halvor stared at him while Daniel fought for words. "I'm sorry", he choked. "I really am. I didn't think you'd plan something, and I was so stupid to say these things. I didn't really see it then but I understand now that nobody did it to annoy me. They…they were just happy, I guess."

Halvor still looked at Daniel, unable to move. "What?"

Daniel smiled at him with painful sadness. "I know you planned a surprise-party for my return, back in the summer. I saw the balloons in the window. I'm sorry I was such an idiot, I didn't want to hurt you. Please, can we go back to the way we were? I miss our talks."

Halvor's breath hitched, and he blinked. "It…it wasn't my idea", he eventually managed. "Marius came up with it. I thought it was stupid, to be honest."

Daniel's mouth flew open, and now it was his turn to stare at Halvor while Halvor looked everywhere but at the one thing in the world he wanted so much.

"I just…I didn't dare to visit you", Halvor whispered. "I was so afraid, and I didn't know…and then when you came back, and said all these things about my stupid texts. I should…it wasn't fair to leave you alone." A dry sob escaped his lips when Daniel stepped closer, and pulled him into a hug. Halvor buried his face in Daniel's shoulder, soaking in the warmth he had missed so much.

"Sometimes we're just too stupid", Daniel muttered, his fingers combing through Halvor's hair.

Halvor laughed. "Sometimes?"

#winter sports secret santa 2021 #damn-d4niel #daniel-andré tande #halvor egner granerud #rpf #wsss 2021 #wsss2021

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