#wizrard original
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NEW FOLLOWERS
AS I HAVE GOTTEN TWENTY-SEVEN FOLLOWERS, I WILL NOW BRING FORTH A RITUAL!
I shall take these TWENTY-SEVEN dragon hearts…
And eat them
I deserve a lil feast for earning these loyal companions <3
#wizardposting#my stomach hurtie#but was worth it#wizrard health issues part 91#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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you're so interesting to me, a specimen even. please wizrard, enlighten me on your lore
HERE IS THE LORE, just for you <3
- Trans Boy
- Graduated bottom of my class in 19-aught-7
- 2’3
- Murdered 2.7 Billion Bones
- Cannot Jumping Jack
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I have gotten TWO NEW FOLLOWERS!!!
You know, I should celebrate.
I heard from the magic moth spell (it communicates with morse code) that some of my followers enjoy Kim Kitsuragi.
Well, I’ll cast a spell on him them
I cast Steer Beam to make him better at steering his cool car!
Oh oops now it’s a Queer Beam and he’s kissing Harry Du Bois oh no this is so upsetting
#wizardposting#it’s canon now#not sorry#I was going to make them wizards#but they’re part of the homosexual underground#so that’s okay#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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I HAVE LEARNED HOW TO TURN PURE EMOTION INTO AN ORB
I have invented my new spell, Ireball! My anger shall destroy those before me, my poutiness will obliterate the bones of those who come upon the tiny wizard hut of Wizrard the Scrupulous!
#wizardposting#wizard council#skeleton war#skeleton war 2022#who can defeat the power of me being petty?#i may be small but I am angy#angry#wizardfuck I do not know how to spell#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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I’m sure glad I haven’t faced any high-level skeletons in the skeleton war so far. I’ve been worried about the presence of ness? I think was his name? Some goofball skeleton who can KILL people via using ketchup or whatever.
#wizardposting#wizard council#skeleton war#skeleton war 2022#please don’t fight me sans#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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@rizwawd-the-absentminded YOU MAY THINK ALL YOUR SPELLING IS SO COOL
But I got the house in the diworce
#wizardposting#you know you can’t do legal matters#that’s why I do all the tax information#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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I HAVE TWO NEW FOLLOWERS
Gotten within the same minute
I will cast Twinned Spell Cure Wounds with this special abilities I got from the magic you are all giving me by following me. Oh no. Pure Wounds.
Sorry followers you’re. You’ve been wound.
#wizardposting#you are experiencing the pain#all of the every flavour of pain#my favourite is blue raspberry#I think the one I cast is… uh. cherry flavoured#also how did I get a cleric spell and sorcerer ability#you ask?#well…………..#caster fraud#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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Job
Does anyone need a wizard in these trying times?
I can balance a penny on my nose really well.
Please
I can't go back to Saruman he keeps trying to get me to play golf with him and the last time I did it I cast Sending to call out to him when I got stuck in a ditch and then cast Bending and became the avatar and that REALLY pissed him off
#wizardposting#listen please#I can't go back#he wants me to listen to taylor swift#and watch football#not even skeleton football#just magicamerican football#not even wizard football (or what they call soccer)#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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ME
I HAVE RETURNED FROM MINE DESTRUCTION
Apologies for the delay my LOYAL followers, but my wizardphone got eaten by the Power Word Bear. I have had to live in that bitch Saruman's basement without internet.
BUT
I have gotten a new follower, and that has RETURNED MY STRENGTH
For you, I give this:
The powerful buff spell HASTE, so you may defeat your foes!
Wizardshitfuckassbitch.
I cast Paste and now there's just a thing of cream.
#wizardposting#this sucks#I hate paste#can't eat it I can only eat solid foods#dont ask#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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"Wizardfuck is a word now."
Me, Wizrard the Scrupulous
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Doot doot
HMMST?
A skeleton doth appear in mine inbox, do they?
Well, how about I get a little violent, since I have learned another new typo spell?
I CAST BURN UNDEAD
#wizardposting#wizard council#skeleton war#skeleton war 2022#Wizrard doesn’t hold back#i will use typos to my advantage#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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:(
Instead of casting Scrying I cast Crying :(
#wizardposting#skeleton war#skeleton war 2022#how can i kill skeletons when i am crying???#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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Hm, another skeleton approaches?
Alright, Power Word Seal!
My powerful seal will stop you from being able to approach you by sealing you in place! And you will have no more doot-doots!
#wizardposting#wizard council#skeleton war#skeleton war 2022#i summon animals alot huh#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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I have heard of a powerful wizard that is wise in the way of methamphetamines, yet his beard is supposedly short. I am interested to learn more of his skills…
#wizardposting#wizard council#the white wizard#he’s also an adept alchemist#and he knows how to make good explosion spells#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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Plan to Kill Skeletons
Cast Firefall and crash into skeletons like a bowling ball (remember to pack flame-resistant robes)
Cast Power Word Meal to keep my strength up with some nice french onion soup
Cast Chilly Touch to keep the soup at an adequate temperature
Remember there are skeletons to slay
Cast Wizard Bean Attack
Cast Wizard Bean Attack again
Cast Wizrard Beam Attack if skeletons are not dead yet
Oh wizardfuck I'm out of spell slots
Mana potion :)
Cast Wizard Bean Attack
#wizardposting#skeleton war#skeleton war 2022#i swear i won't always use bean attack#i have other spells i just really like that one#wizrard spell copyright#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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My WIZARD ALLY! DO NOT FRET
A WORM ARMY APPROACHES, TO FEND FOR YOU YET!
No skeleton shall lurk with these boys at work!
Ah yes, the power of worms! May they be the defensive siege to keep safe my towers! Thank ye!
#wizardposting#wizard council#skeleton war#skeleton war 2022#dope worms#i am wizrard the scrupulous#wizrard original
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