#wish i'd be more spiritual so i could at least have the placebo effect of some deity listening to my prayers and doing what they can to help
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i need to be loved like, right now and for forever
#not doing so hot rn !!#having your love language be quality time is quite troublesome when most of your friends live either far away or#are busy with their own problems#feeling like universe's cruel joke lmao#never learned how to socialize or express myself properly#too shy/anxious/having nothing to talk about with strangers#no time for fun hobbies w/ small communities like crochet or woodcarving circles#being unable to commit and form sincere long-lasting relationships#being both on the aro and ace spectrum#and a myriad of psychological problems that i can't bring myself to talk about with anyone - least of all a therapist#because what if they say these are not real problems and to stop making a scene#i just want to be wanted yknow .#wanted loved cherished happy#probably not gonna happen in this decade but we'll see#if i don't off myself in the next few years maybe i'll see what fate has in store for me#because rn it's nothing good#wish i'd be more spiritual so i could at least have the placebo effect of some deity listening to my prayers and doing what they can to help#alas i am not so some more alone time it is#delete later
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