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#why the fuck would anyone green lite this hit i have no fucking clue
constantvariations · 1 year
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V9C8
I cannot believe I’m awake when the episode drops holy shit. I’m also drunk af bc it’s my weekend off so I might not be as sharp as I’m usually am (not) but guess we’ll see lol. Also the devil works hard but pirates work harder. Bless them yardee hars yo ho
Post Ep: uhh I genuintely dunno what to say here :/ MKEK fucked over literally the only aspect of v9 i liked so i guess imma rot or smth idk
Genuinely funny (by which I mean what the absolute fuck) that the warning does not, in fact, warn the viewer of fucking anything. Reminds me of the conversation in Criminal Minds where the unit receives a bomb threat and have to wait for it to explode because sending out a general bomb alert would halt the entirety of the country in a panic. Wasn’t there a tiktok about this exact thing? One that went liek “TRIGGER WARNIGN! TRIGGER WARNING!“ but never told you wh at the warning was? Feels like this shit
Back at it again with this pov shit? With the hentai panting? Why is it always with the hentai panting???
“Why did you shout at everyone like that?” Sometimes it’s hard to remember that Little is supposed to be like... a child? I guess? in the Wonderland spectrum of things, so them not knowing what a mental breakdown looks like is both in character and entirely unhelpful in the narrative, considering how easily Ruby brushes off the inquiry
This is probably the most tolerant Ruby’s voice acting has been in the last many seasons. It’s not high and nasally enough to scrape my skull!
Not gonna lie, having Ruby finally break down against the shittiest of tree textures is so fucking funny I can’t take this seriously. It looks like she’s wailing into a painted wall
“If you’re going to stay with me, you’re going to end up dead, too.” Ruby, the only dead people that you supposedly gave a shit about are Penny and Pyrrha. You don’t know about Clover or Ironwood, you definitely didn’t give a shit about that Forrest guy from V7, and it’s still up in the air if you know about Penny 2.0. You haven’t even mentioned Qrow, your father, or the rest of ORNJ, so what the fuck are you referencing here? Your mother, whom you only started being compromised about 2 seasons ago? Big fuckety whoop, no one cares
Ohhhh noooo not the shithead mouse character being saddddd and left behinddddd whateverr shall we doooooo
Aight what’s with the butterfly thing. If it’s supposed to symbolize Summer Rose in some way, it was never foreshadowed and only the barest of threads (butterflies being pollinators of flowers) would connect this shit. There’s a difference between subtlety and bullshit
Uhhhh did Ruby stumble into a casino house of Neo? Is this Neo backstory we’re getting into? Honestly, that’s way more intriguing than anything our heroes have going on
OH SO NOW RUBY CAN USE HER FUCKING SCYTHE WITHOUT GETTIN TRIGGERED
Why did they have to drag Roman into Maya? Didn’t they do him dirty enough by having him be eaten by a stupid grimm? Is this even the same voice actor? It’s not as... sultry
WHY YOU GOTTA DO PYRRHA DIRTY LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER MOUTH THERE’S NO TEXTURE ON HER CLOTHES WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
Holy shit the animation of Roman jumpin on the table is sending me into the fuckign statosphere fucking hlep
Can’t even have a normal transformation animation between scythe to snipe it’s gotta be a spinny bullshit thing ugh. Take me back to episode 1 I miss that shit
Who is voicing Roman there’s no way this is the original VA Imma strnagle this bithc
“But we all remember how that ended.” Is this based on actual events or what Neo has interpreted? This entire scene has been nothing but bullshit so far, and not even the fun kind that Roman used to produce
“You still blame me for what happened to Torchwick?” Bitch what the absolute fuck makes you think that? What clues could you possibly have that Neo blames you specifically when there are so many random people at this table? It’s not like you’ve ever claimed to be responsible for any of these peoples’ deaths, so why is this the fucking conclusion you make? Other than having writer’s clairvoyance of course
Okay, despite not knowing at the moment what it means, I do like the detail of Roman not stepping on the teacup before but once shit gets real he demolishes it. Still don’t like how ugly he is though. Leave my dead gay son alone
I don’t know if I’ve said it before but I fucking HATE the eyeshadow on the character in Maya. Why is Neo’s fucking mint green? She’s NEO-FUCKING-POLITIAN WHY IS THERE FUCKING GREEN IN HER GODDAMN COLOR PALLETE WHEN IT’S FUCKIN WHITE BROWN AND PINK
“I’m going to enjoy watching you break.” Does Neo not have any sort of contact via her clones or whatever? Did she not see how helpless Ruby was last episode to her Jabber? Because it was very heavily implied she knew when that one turned into her before shattering. Neo didn’t have to do shit to make Ruby break, her so called friends were doing that better than Neo ever could Also, the smiles on everyone’s faces as they say this is 100% me when I write my characters going through some fucked up shit. Neo should’ve gone into theater and literally none of this would have happened lmao
It’s uhhhhhh kinda telling that Yang is the first to stop and bitch about Ruby’s behavior. “How could she jsut run off like that?” damn it’s like your sister knew you ddidn’t give hafl a flying fuck about her and dipped Yang OHMYGOD YANG BEING PISSED THAT RUBY DIDN’T TALK TO THEM I’M FUCKING WHEEZING Girl you were so busy being buried in the pussy you didn’t notice your own sister having a full ass breakdown. I do not feel sorry for you “She could’ve just talked to us” like you talked to her after you lost your arm? Oh, wait, YOU DIDN’T FUCKING DO THAT YANG. You literally told her to LEAVE YOU ALONE. Ain’t that a bitch, huh
“We say things like ‘we believe and you’ and ‘we can count on you’” holy shit this is smth I would expect from the yt exercise gurus I watch after work shifts not from my close personal friends this is so fuckign funny
“It’s not like we’re asking her to be perfect” well mf did you ever, idk, COMMUNICATE THAT. Because, lmee tell you as someone who WAS expected to be perfect at all times, that shit be damaging as fuck. I can’t even let typos happen in funny instances without a voice in my head screaming to fix them
Oh great we get the generic meandering vocals during a pvp platform fight. Do they write these lines knowing they’ll be translated into a game soon? There’s no way “I was the best and brightest Beacon had to offer” comes off naturally otherwise
Ruby literally clambered onto the only structure in the room for defense? Girl at this point you are asking to die lmao
AND HER AURA SHATTERS AT THAT MEASLY DROP I AM FUCKING SOBBING JUST KILL THE BITCH AND BE DONE WITH IT
“Just like you were too late to save me at the Vytal festival.” Bitch that literally didn’t matter shit since you came back in V7. You’re literally wearing your V7/8 outfit. Shut the absolute fuck up you fucking waste of potential and hair space goddamn
“Can you imagine what it’s like to be failed time and time again by someone who meant the world to you” oh like Oz? The guy you demonized for the last few seasons? The guy who was roasted alive by his wife after she butchered their FOUR FUCKIGN CHILDREN?
Also Ruby does not use her FUCKIGN SEMBLANCE BITHC ARE YOU WANTING TO FUDCKIGN DIE THEN DIE ALREADY GODDAMMIT
Okay I can’t put my finger on it, but the animation of Pyrrha going around her staff to kick Ruby is really fucking weird. Maybe because it seems like her spear is merely resting on the ground instead of impaling it? (My current MC had a similar move so this is important to me lmao)
While I do appreciate the line of “have you stopped to consider if you’re doing more harm than good” coming from Ironwood, it’s not really Ironwood saying it, is it? How the absolute FUCK would Neo know this? Was she witness to what was happening, did she figure it out with context clues, or is this another case of writer clairvoyance?
While I guess it is within canon rights to have Neo know that Oscar is Oz’s new host, I’m very much confused about this particular course of action [turning Ozpin into Oscar] from Neo. When it was her vs Cinder,  Neo just tried to annihilate her, but with Ruby she wants to be Jigsaw??? MKEK learn character consistency I am BEGGING
Listen... I know Ruby is in an emotionally compromised state, and that in any other scenario this would be intensely heart-breaking, but with how contrived this entire scene is, I cannot give half a flying fuck about Ruby’s mental state because it’s too damn funny how easily she falls into Neo’s lap. You walked into this giant ass casino, can’t you just walk out? We ain’t seen you try yet, so either you (and the writers) are too stupid to think of it, or it was shuffled off screen, neither of which are a good look babe. Especially when that damned mouse is in the wings for SOME goddamn reason. Probably the next fucking deus ex mouse
RUBY’S HICCUPS SOUND EXACTLY LIKE MY PRINTER IM FUCKIGN WHEEZING
Okay, so Neo offering the tea makes it seem like that’s a path to the Ascension that everyone’s so gung-ho about, which makes me question why the paper pleasers needed to have a whole ass suicide dam-break to ascend if all they needed was some leaf-tea. I also think I’m putting more thought into this than the fucking writers, which, honestly, is par for the course
WAIT WHOA HOLD UP that was some geometric shit hitting Neo into the fucking next generation. Everything in Wonderland is ~whimsy and frolic~ not Square (tm) so wtf is going on
Goddammit again with this pov shit? Whoever suggested it in the group orgy should be drug out to the street and shot
CURIOUS!!! THE ONLY BITCH THAT MATTERS TO ME even if he is ugly as sin
“(Ruby) I don’t want to be me anymore” well aint that just more gasoline to my theory that Ruby’s gonna try to sacrifice herself to the tree No joke, if RT (and for any dumbass who needs clarification, CRWBY is 100% RT property) tries to imply in any goddamn way that sacrifice is the only way to achieve happiness (especially when it comes to other people’s happiness) I will come to each of their houses and shred their shoes, their paintings, and dismantle their ovens
Altho, no joke, I would much rather prefer Curious as our MC instead simply because they are curious and would potentially be able to ask questions about the world that our actual mains would take for granted, like idk wtf is dust and where does it come from? (Mainly stemming from my hc that dust is the remains of human souls that grimm devour but can’t actually process. Like... how else are you gonna reconcile the dust that made Adam ((the original biblical man)) with the dust of Remnant?)
Oh wow so we’re actually going for the take that the cat was evil the whole time? Is that what we’re doing? No nuance about a creature merely curious about a world outside its own? We’re going full fucking body snatcher?
I absolutely HATE this take on the Curious Cat. MKEK. Give me your addresses so I can beat your asses in the nearest Dennys parking lot. I think you sorely need some lessons in humility. Suck my entire asshole
Is Little really fucking hurt by being slung .2 feet from a tail whip? Fucking really?
And now Neo and Curious are fighting over Ruby’s fate. Someone bring back the forced love triangle of Hunger Games (which was forced by the publishers NOT the writer btw) instead of this shit before I throw myself into a lava pit because honesty it this is far shittier than HG
Wtf are Ruby’s fingers bloodied from? Wielding Crescent Rose for .2 seconds? Girl you have been handling this weapon for fucking years, but spinning it around a couple of times makes her bleed? Bitch play Paganini’s 24 Caprices then say how your fingers feel (For clarification purposes, I only know this because I’m writing characters who know how to play the violin, not because I know violin myself despite how much I fucking want to. V from DMC5 has me in a fucking chokehold lemme tell you-*dies*)
“I have been trying to wear you down for so long” BITCH FUCKING WHERE. WHERE THE ABSOLUTE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN WEARING RUBY DOWN MORE THAN HER TEAMMATES OR GENERAL FUCKING LIFE HAS ALREADY BEEN. BITHC FUCKING WEHRE
“I need to know why my makers left me here.” This makes me think that the Wonderland was structured by the shitheel gods of light and dark. Perhaps the cat was one of their compromises, which is why they’re such a wildcard? But that would make so many questions about the purpose of Wonderland itself and we all know that MKEK can’t be bothered with things like worldbuilding or nuance or anything remotely resembling intelligence (also I read once that black scelera ((the white part of the eye)) is a sign of pure truth/desire so honestly this is incredibly intriguing even though I know it won’t end in anything satisfactory)
NEO STEPS ON LITTLE BEST CHARACTER EVER 10/10
The cup sliding into frame after Ruby’s frantic eyes is literally so fucking funny how do they expect to take me seriously when the framing has the subtlety of a drunk elephant?
Ohmygod the way JWBY ran into the room like PS2 characters I’m fucking wheeazing
Ohmygod this is literally the most flaccid way to force a person into your perspective. Like... Ruby got kicked around a little bit after venturing into an OBVIOUSLY NOT GOOD PLACE and then decides to drink the airport jungle juice right as she’s about to be rescued and not ONE FUCKING CHARACTER WITH RANGED ARSENAL SHOOTS THE MUG OUT OF HER HAND
Honestly there are times where it really hits me how RWBY is a show about plot that isn’t plot instead of characters, and it’s moments like these where I’m like “damn, these people are acting to the script instead of their character huh” Like... it would’ve been something profound if the tea drinking had happened moments prior to their arrival instead of “hey watch me drink this fuckin tea while I reflect in your stupid eyeball instead of you doing literally anything about it despite that the supposed fact that you fucking raised me YANG, so watch me drop into this fuckkin hole I guess”
At the very least I guess the writers realized that Neo’s sole purpose was offing Ruby because... Roman was in her vicinity when he died???
OHMYGOD THE FACT THAT THE PERSON WHO REACTS TEH MOST TO RUBY DRINKGING THE FUCKIGN JUICCE IS CURIOUS IS FINEING SENDING ME
SHES A FUCKING CORN COB BSBE IM FUCNG CRYIGN
Okay, Curious fixating on Neo is one BILLION percent more interesting than anything jrwby has going on. Once again, fuck this main storyline bullshit and give Curious their own damn show
Also, nlg, the facct that Curious is Geometric rather than Organic in terms of design (squares vs spirals for the at home group) is super fucking cool and I desperately need an entire goddamn story abt them pronto. I would absolutely love to see how they interact with Remnant and if they’d be able to have their weird ass powers in the dimension of mortals. That is so much more interesting than literally anything our main crew has proposed in literally years, especially since these dumb mfs aint ever talked about whether or not its okay to kill a whole ass human being for their cause (and faunus are human beings. Fuck off if you think that some shtity tail or ears makes you not a whole ass person)
These mfs cannot let the bee train go for a single second can they? These bitches gotta be hit inot the sam efukcin wall while Weiss gets left all alone. Yknow. Like her family let her be for th emost part. Glad to see that RT’s priority is rainbow capitialism instead of genuine storytelling
Well that is a hentai trope I did not expert to see today. Though the fact that it’s Neo does not surprises me at fuckign all. Mmmm love me some fcking body possession. Great job Rt on making on your female characters be absolutely consumed by a foreign entity that surely isn’t a fucking metaphor for antyhign yknow the fucking facehuggers were’nt a metaphor for shit didnt yha know????
May I say to MKEK, absolutely fuck you for makign the cat an undeniable villain. Can you guys not handle even an iota of moral greyness? Can you not conceive of the idea of a situation that is not merely good vs evil? I ask you to look at the world today, and tell me that evil arises merely because it can rather than as a symptom of a society that refuses to care for all its citizens. Can you not idealize a person who, when pressed to their absolute brink, will take upon violence to ensure that the seeds they sow will bring sustenance to those who come later? For fuck’s sake I’ll take a person who idealizes themselves for morally grey reasons other than what the fuck ever these dipshits are trying to sell to me
Wow aint it so spectaculaar that Curious invaded the one person who wasn’t important to the writers plot adn now our heroes can now kill her without any iota of guilt? Aint that fucking nifty? Aint that fuckign grand? And not even a fucking thought extended to teh idea tha Crurius wanted to see the outside world. THat was their main reason for helping the siblings right? Because Alyx promised them that she would bring him to Remnant? But taht whole plotline is gone because it’s jsut TOO SPICY FOLKS. Can’t have anything interesting in our show about FAIRTYTALES whene we’re in a FAIRTYTALE LAND
Honestly, fuck you MKEK, fuck you RT, fuck you any god that ever alloweed existence to happen. THis is fucking bullshit
It was only through looking up the info on the internet that I learned that Roman Torchwick’s og VA died of colon cancer prior to this volume (2022). Mr Kametz, I hope you rest well and know that your expertise was greatly appreciated. May you know peace in the beyond
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