#why do I get so quietly intensely jealous when ppl do cool things and have good things happen to them. oh it's bc it makes me think | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

charlienick · 6 years

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some stupid reddie radio show hc

• richie is like grimmy on bbc radio on the breakfast show and he's been there so long and is so well loved that the producers kinda just let him do whatever he wants within reason. he's very loudly and publically bisexual and flirts with Every Single Person they bring in. he hates being up at ass-o’clock in the morning every day but it’s a sweet gig and he’s well loved and he loves his crew so he’s fine

• there's this up and coming actor eddie kaspbrak on the scene that richie is scheduled to interview. he’s struggling to come up with questions for him because he hasn’t seen any of the shit he’s in and is usually too tired to watch films at night anymore (a horrible part of the job because richie loves movies)

• eddie’s out of the closet publically, which he chose to do since this is a movie about the aids crisis, but the topic of boyfriends is blacklisted, which richie is fine with. he’s not a gossip. at least, not on live air

• so eddie’s gonna be in a movie with a bunch of well known people and the interview with richie goes. fucking. HORRIBLY.

• despite being his last guest of the day, it’s still 10:30 am because it’s, well, a breakfast show, and they’re both exhausted. eddie is incredibly obviously uncomfortable/nervous, which in turn is making richie uncomfortable/nervous.

• and when both of these guys get nervous, they really get nervous, so richie is, like, visibly sweating, and they visually record all the interviews too so his camera man (stan) is like "FUCKING COOL IT MAN YOUR SWEAT IS MAKING THE LIGHTS SHINE ON YOUR OILY FACE SO BRIGHTLY WE HAD TO TURN OFF YOUR OVERHEAD LAMP" "oh ha ha ha ha is that what happened?"

• richie asks things like “is this your first radio interview?” (god what is this richie’s first rodeo? what a boring question) and “did you get along with your castmates?” and “does ryan gosling really put his money where his mouth is?” but when he gets to "so what was it like being in a movie with all these famous—" eddie cuts the fuck in.

• beverly, eddie’s handler, giving him the singal to cut it the fuck out. don’t fly off the handle. please. eddie kaspbrak does not fly off the handle. he just. tells it like it is. and if that’s rude, well that’s the other person’s problem

• "okay i'm gonna stop you right there. if you're trying to insinuate that i'm not talented enough to carry this movie like all the other interviewers, i—" "no!” richie shouts, eyes widening and cheeks flaring. he glances around nervously and the crew is giving him looks like this is fucking tanking do something now. “that's not it. not at all. aw hell, alright, let's just—" and then richie RIPS UP HIS QUESTION SHEET like the dramatic motherfucker he is

• "uh. did you just rip up your questions?" eddie asks because this is not his first rodeo, actually, fuck you very much records tozier if that is your real name and he knows that no one can see despite the two cameras being pointed at them. the video feed isn’t live, just something to use for press later.

• "i did. screw those stupid questions i asked you. i’m gonna ask you the things i want to know. what makes you excited about this project? what was your method of getting into character considering how intense the story was?" richie asks, propping his elbow up on the desk and cupping his chin in his hand.

• "oh.” eddie blinks in shock, like, oh this guy does have a soul? and he’s actually interested and isn’t just a weird, awkard guy? whoops. okay. eddie can admit when he’s wrong, at least to himself, so he changes gears. “well my uncle who i was close to as a kid was a victim of aids, and so the opportunity to play a character so similar to his story was a privilege as much as it was cathartic..."

• and then it kind of goes off without a hitch from there. they’re really flowing and eddie is getting asked genuinely interesting questions by richie now, things no other interviewer has asked. he’s totally respectful of the topic while still being his dumb, flirtatious self. eddie is charmed. smitten, really. it’s really obnoxious.

• by the end they're both giggling sweetly and richie is doing some light flirting, not the intensely over the top kind he's been known to with his guests.

• towards the end richie goes "well that was our guest, the delicious, delectable eddie kaspbrak. make sure you go see his movie ‘collison’ in theatres this friday, because i promise you're gonna want this pretty face to bring you to tears on the big screen instead of just hear him do it on radio."

• eddie is blushing like mad and leans into the mic and meekly goes "and because i'm talented." "oh of course. AND because he's talented. what song would you like to play us out with, eds?" "what? my name is eddie. did you forget already? not very professional of you.” zoom in on richie’s grin. “i didn’t forget.” “jesus. can i pick anything?" "within reason, you minx! this IS a top 40 station after all." "well it WAS top 40," eddie giggles. he calls over bill who controls the switchboard and whispers something to him and bill chuckles and nods.

• "what are you two up t—" "well folks, that's our show!" eddie announces brightly. richie scoffs, scandalized, but eddie continues. "i hope you enjoy the dulcet sounds of ‘rocks off’ by the rolling stones." "ohhhh you absolute—" "annnnnd we're clear," bill says from across the room, cutting the mics.

• eddie is a stones guy. fuck, richie seriously hit the jackpot here.

• richie takes off his headphones but eddie doesn't, still dancing to the song coming through. richie smiles over at him and waves mike (the lighting guy) over and asks him to have bill put the music through the overhead speakers. bill does and richie comes up beside eddie, bowing dramatically with his hand out. "may i have this dance?" he asks in some ridiculous british accent, and eddie giggles, rolling his eyes and shrugging. "why not?"

• richie spins him around the room, a bit more practiced than eddie would've assumed with a man who has the gangly limbs of a newborn deer. he calls out to bill to play through his emergency playlist and bill shakes his head with a fond smile and gives him a thumbs up.

• "hey..." richie starts nervously, fiddling with the hem of eddie’s shirt, and, like when was the last time he was this nervous? jesus this kid has gotten under his skin, which is exactly why he says, "whaddya say i take you out to dinner?"

• "are you... are you even allowed to court your guests?" "court?” richie grins with an incredulous raise of his eyebrows. “i like that word. well i'm allowed to court whoever i damn well please. it's a free country," richie shoots back with a sassy cock to his hips and a huge grin.

• "i'm... i'm gonna be really busy with press in the next few weeks," eddie responds breathlessly. "oh. sure. no problem," richie bobs his head very dramatically and for an unnecessarily long time, untangling their limbs. "but!" eddie says, reaching for him again. richie lets himself be tugged into eddie’s space easily. "i'll gladly take you out when the junket is over." "you take me out? i thought i was the one who asked you!" "i thought it was a free country," eddie grins. richie sighs softly, pretending to sound put-out but he can't even manage it with the force of his smile. "alright, mr. kaspbrak."

• "you live in la, right?" eddie asks. "i live wherever you want me to," richie says, trying to pull some sort of seductive Voice, eyebrows jumping. eddie gives him a funny look. "uh. yeah, i do. sorry, i just—you make me a little nervous." "wow. the famous records tozier all tongue tied just from a lowly up-and-comer. why would your viewers think?" eddie asks softly, smiling up at him. "i think they're probably jealous they don't get to court you." "i regret using that word," eddie groans. richie laughs, "you should. it's my new favorite."

• "eddie," bev cuts in quietly with a grin, "you've got another interview at—" "shit!" eddie immediately detaches himself from richie, picking up his things, and richie feels like he just got dunked into cold water. "i'll call you!" eddie yells out to richie before pushing his way through the cameras and lights with bev in tow. she grins and wiggles her fingers at richie. "oh shit," richie sighs, smiling dreamily.

• "oh shit is right," stan says from behind the camera, which still has the green light on, the bastard, "you didn't ever give him your number in the first place." "motherfucker!" "and i caught all of that on camera," stan smirks. "oh i WILL kill you," richie says, turning to the camera and futzing with it. "gimmie that tape!" "nah, you've gotten enough spank bank material for the day," stan says, flipping off the camera. "plus, ben got a whole host of good shit on camera two."

• richie gasps. "BEN-YA-MEEN, YOU WOULDNT" ben just shrugs, flipping his camera off too. "i work for no man, only the love that drives us." "fuck off."

• it’s a week later, the movie has premiered and eddie is the talk of the town. the second the video of the already-infamous interview goes live on twitter (cut with generous amounts of flirting thanks to mike, the absolute ASSHOLE), both their mentions blow the fuck up.

• eddie’s twitter is LITERALLY STILL PRIVATE despite the fact that bev keeps insisting he undo because he can’t get verified that way. eddie could care less about being verified; he just wants his privacy. he thought being private would make it so that no one could @ reply him but he soon finds out that he was very, very wrong when a bunch of ppl on twitter start asking him how his date with richie went. he turns off his notifications after this shit storm

• eddie had followed richie back the day of the interview, and he didn’t know the option to keep replies from ppl you follow had stayed on, so he gets a notif right before one of his last interviews on the junket

• @richierecords: @eddie_kaspbrak you in town? i know a great sushi place

• eddie grins, trying to futz with his phone and figure out how to reply

• @eddie_kaspbrak: @richierecords I’m around, but I thought I was taking YOU out to eat? and how do you know I even like sushi?

• he’s deeply glad he’s private so no one but his friends can see this response because when richie sends back “@richierecords: @eddie_kaspbrak everyone with taste likes sushi, and that gucci suit at the premiere showcased yours very nicely. and i think i’m gonna be the one doing the eating out if all goes according to plan 🍑👅💦” while eddie’s in his last interview. there are like 7,000 likes by the time he checks it

• his eyes widen and his cheeks flush and he immediately presses his phone into his chest so bev who’s beside him in the limo going back to the hotel doesn’t see. he may not understand what the peach emoji was for, but the tongue and the spit was certainly image enough

• bev snorts as she types out a text. “no need to be shy, kaspbrak. your suitor certainly isn’t.” eddie sputters indignantly but bev just laughs without looking up from her phone, “i already contacted his manager. luang’s on center street at 8 pm. it’s like a half-price place and the paps are told to stay the fuck away or they’re getting sued, but seriously? half price? that’s tactless. your boy has no manners. i’m not dealing with you getting food poisoning so be fucking careful.”

• “he’s not my boy! he’s not my anything!” eddie shrieks. bev winces, “stop being shrill at me, i did not do this. you and your libido did.” “i’m barely even attracted to him,” eddie huffs, tapping out a reply to richie of “You stupid motherfucker.”

• “oh, sure, alright,” bev snorts. “we do share a wall in these hotels you know, and they’re unfortunately not very thick. i’m sure it’s very lonely out there for your right hand and your imagination.” “i will fuck you up, marsh, don’t test me,” but then he grins slyly. “and i need both hands for what i get up to, actually.” “oh!” beverly laughs, delighted, finally putting her phone down. “i’d give you a high five, but i don’t need your cum on me. that ain’t in my job description, puddin’.” “FUCK OFF I HAVEN’T MASTURBATED SINCE LAST NIGHT AND I HAVE WASHED MY HANDS SIX TIMES SINCE THEN.”

• their driver chokes on his spit from the front seat and eddie groans into his hands as beverly puts the divider up and laughs

#reddie #it 2017 #fic #should i be working on real shit? maybe #enjoy my procrastination tactic #masterpost #19 #greatest hits

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