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#why am I even in this fucking unresolved arguement
nickywhoisi · 2 years
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Why do people stay longer in my head than they do in my whole life?
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mingzisdrgongxuo · 2 years
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that's odd. i don't hear the housekeeper's cart. so it's not them stomping around being rude, trying to make waves....
just the wiggers from the past two nights.
why are they trying to play "tune-in tokyo?"
can you not function right if you're not like some dog choking on their leash? doesn't your dogg know how to heal?
same as fucking tweakers, they don't like mellow or relaxing or "chill", everything needs to be overtorqued and wound up like a child's toy.
what's it to you? is it messing up your prostitution or meth/cocaine peddling?
am i supposed to blame my sister?
or that same joto from the family, needing to stir up shit because he feels powerless, i dunno, maybe it's because he's not king of the family, or does not control anybody else's money to make people obey him.
are you lost without knowing what i'm thinking? stupid dog trying to flush out fox-holes making waves and disturbing the peace, for signs of life?
or do you get mad when i don't write crazy stuff? why? do you need it to feel better about your own problems?
personally, i think that says something about you.
do you need it the way politicians need each other to look bad, so you can have an arguement or an accusation to win?
do you feel "threatened" when you see me making friends or being normal? how is that a threat to you? were they supposed to be your friends instead of mine?
my sister is married and lives out of state. but i don't check up on her. i respect her privacy and her rightful boundaries, unlike SOMEBODY. she could be living in my old house for all i know. but what would that prove, on what manpower or resources?
to make enemies for no reason as the final endgame?
if i never returned she would have a bigger inheritance instead of only half of it. is that what you need to win? planting seeds of suspicion, distrust or doubt, just to see if you can? how righteouss. i don't exactly like thinking this stuff. you gonna screenshot or forward this to her? or is she capable of spying on me or being dishonest about her role in this equation just fine since that's the illusion you want to paint. and then there's what she inherits from me as next of kin. way more than what my was divided between my parents. does that motivate her to keep me alive?
my sister has been nothing but good to me, and a friend, she's been there in my times of need and helped at everything life throws at it. i cannot dispute any of that. i also cannot think of a time in either of our lives when i acted against her or did anything unforgiveable that would motivate or provoke ill will.
i don't appreciate some mind felcher trying to give me the 3rd degree while in contempt of their own court.
my stepmother used to speak openly in front of us, and talk all kinds of shit about her mom, "when is she going to hurry up and die". were my stepmother's words about her own mom.
the "how to host a murder" roleplaying party game, similar to clue, was a nice touch.
i don't know what that meant, i just remember the circumstances, and what my dilemma was at the time. red flag is all i know and i'm not just shrugging it off. i have to think about it if somebody else already is.
are you faulting me for not ruling anybody out when my quality of life, survival, or longevity is at stake? it's nothing against you. it's against everybody. especially those i have loose ends and unresolved shit from my past about, including previous life-threatening, documented, on-record emergencies. i survived and still live to talk about it. is that a problem for you?
this fagmob courtesy of mother's brother is no better. should have just broke your silence if you know something, instead of trying to play me against her. you sure as fuck aren't there for either of us, and plenty of time, resources, travel and money spent, to be there AGAINST us.
all up in my shit 24/7, do you have time to investigate or be up in anybody elses shit 24/7?
fuckin' wiggers back at it, playing shitty music.
why should i even feed your dialog with a complaint.
your dj/pa speakers aint shit. i don't hear you, it doesn't impress or intimidate me, no rhythm, can't keep a beat. can't dance to the shit. how do you even fuck to this garbage? black without soul. ignorant fool. go ahead and shit on the community while you try to impress your non-binary friends. don't even waste your weed on this buzzkill. wait until somebody else has shit to say about you. the mirror you hold up that you've been saving for a rainy day doesn't mean shit.
go live outside, homeless, no shelter. no running water, no sink, no mirror, no shower, no ac in the summer, no heat in the winter, eat nothing but the garbage you find in the trash cans. five years, outside, no days off. no friends, no "homeboys", no backup or support, noone watching your back, plenty of people looking to stab you in it though. noone gives one fuck about you. everybody is your enemy. everybody wants you out of your sight, kids arrange bum fights tries to entrap you over petty shit, and steals from your homeless ass because they think it makes them cool, and makes life generally unpleasant for you.
does it further their career? does it make them the bigger man or better person? i doubt it.
what do you think you have energy or patience for with people? how long did you have to wait for some spineless sociopath piece of shit to stop fighting with you, before you're "allowed" to live in peace?
must be church crusaders huh.
funny how word travels, and attitudes and behaviors change. it's almost as if they monitor my tumblr activity.
for what? in case i badmouth the landlord, (as if you dont... ) so you can screenshot my words and show them how two-faced you are.. and what a "true friend" you are to them? trying to take what i say and use it against me, as if you're mirandizing me?
is this the positivity that you're "all about"?
and you're not punished for seeking negativity or trying to manifest it, huh?
why should i give you power? you already have power, or are in power, why should i give you any? i remember what it's like to be cold hungry and alone with no shelter. i know what it's like to watch you feast and bitch about your have-nots, while i'm eating garbage, without a word from me. where somebody can just walk up to you, rob you blind or shank you in your sleep and noone gives a fuck even if they see you do it. you don't give me power, you try to take what power i have away from me. why the fuck should i give you power?
why are you watching the parking lot so intensely dickhead? are playing backup for the wigger party?
you sure are a slave over your thoughts concerning me. when do you have time to actually investigate anything, your too busy trying to get a rise out of me everyday, like your little dick depends on it.
there. words. do you feel like you have power now, that you don't have over people?
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