A

The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.  

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

Slept for like 3 hours and then fucking just WOKE UP and couldnt sleep anymore... so i gave up trying and just sort of hazily tapped this out on my phone for like 2 hours....

so i didnt even bother re-reading it so just.. idk, here u go,, (@jacketyjackjack-fr)

Rah stared down at the scrap of paper on his desk. It was covered in what appeared to be the same letter, written over and over at odd angles on the page.

It was barely mid-day, but the suns were bearing down with a fury typically reserved for a much later date in the cycle.

Rah dropped his quill onto the tabletop with a rather punctuated sigh, leaning back on his stool some, feet tucked under a small ledge to keep him from falling.

The scribbles on the scrap of paper looked so bad that anyone glancing at it would likely have mistaken it for one of Coypu’s practice sheets. Rah grimaced rather angrily at it while very deliberately trying to avoid thinking about the current volume of the accounts books that was firmly seated at the corner of his vision.

The ledger was beautiful and relatively immaculate. Occasionally things would be crossed out with an unnaturally straight line or written in a dark second color, but really that only added to the beauty of it. Rah’s handwriting was a thing of beauty, and his work reflected it.

Halfway down the most recent page, however, stood the current entry. It was noticeably different from the few before it, letters wobbling almost imperceptibly. It cut off partway across with the tail of the last letter a complete and unmistakable (albeit small) scribble.

Rah looked down at his upturned hands with a frown. The tremor wasn’t particularly bad, but it was unmistakable.

He clenched his fists tightly in a fruitless effort to somehow make them stop shaking, but the act only caused pain to spread and shoot down his wrists and forearms instead. He gave an irritated groan and in frustration reached over to slam the offending ledger shut with a large slam.

Across from his desk, on the bed, the lump of what could probably be mistaken for a mounded comforter in the dim light raised its head with a startled grunt. The head swiveled slowly, blinking bleary eyes at Rah, clearly foggy with sleep.

“What’re you doin’?”

Rah sighed and lowered his hands gingerly into his lap. “Perpetually nothing, it would seem.”

Coypu grunted slightly in acknowledgement, head bobbing a little. “Sleep?” An arm came up to pat the bed clumsily.

Rah gave a tiny laughing huff and shook his head. “May as well. I’m not going to get anything else done for a while, anyway.”

He rose from his perch, not bothering to look at his desk, let alone straighten it as he typically would. He slid off his slippers and doused the candle on the nightstand. Rah sat on the bed next to his boyfriend. It was a good thing the standard for beds and nests was so large in SedAhrkMen, or else the two likely wouldn’t have both fit on it with near the amount of ease.

Pulling his hair to one side and laying down next to Coypu, he raised his arms slightly to allow an arm to snake around his torso. The gesture was practically automatic and he was still heavily in denial about the amount of comfort it brought him.

He closed his eyes and heard the sound of sleepy lip smacking behind him. The arm around his waist tightened and rubbed up and down his torso absently. Finally fingers found their way to his hands which were resting under his chin. Coypu grabbed one hand and held it in his own.

There was a beat, Rah almost drifting off in the short second of quiet, before a head shot up to try and peer over Rah’s body.

“Y'alright?” Coypu was instantly alert, “Your hands! They’re shakin’!” He leaned on Rah’s shoulder slightly to make him flatten out on the bed, hand still gripping Rah’s tightly. “You sad? Cryin’?? Sick???” His brow furrowed and his other hand came to grip Rah’s other one.

Rah blinked up at him, surprised by the suddenly flurry of movement. Finally his brain caught up with everything. “I’m fine…”

Coypu frowned down at him, “Your hands don’t usually shake, an’ all…”

Rah laughed a little, causing the look on his boyfriend’s face to shift from worried to slightly confused (but still worried).

“They do sometimes. I use them too much, it’s what happens.” He wiggled the tips of his fingers at Coypu, who was still holding his hands firmly.

Coypu loosened his grip and laid back down slowly, eyes still fixed intently on Ray’s face, searching for signs of distress.

“S'it hurt at all?”

Rah grimaced a bit and shifted around until he was slightly more comfortable in the new position. “Mm. It can.”

Coypu gave a small grunt and released Rah’s hands entirely. “Sorry… Didn’t mean to squeeze.”

Rah shook his head and held up his arm in the semi-darkness. “It’s alright. That doesn’t really hurt much. Pressure can actually be fairly nice sometimes….”

He made sure Coypu could see and traced down the inside of his wrist slowly. “In here is where it hurts. I’ve aggravated the muscle, see.” He shook his head again, “I only understand vaguely. Doc Jan knows.”

Coypu grabbed the wrist gingerly and rubbed gently at the area with his thumb. “I get it. Is there anything much you can do? To make it stop hurtin’ an’ all.”

Rah sighed, “Well I usually go up and lay them on the bone at the well. Its smooth and cool, really its ideal for relief.” He pulled his wrist from Coypu’s grasp and rolled to face him. “But with this rather outrageous heat wave, I doubt it will ever actually cool. Perhaps at night, but certainly not before its time for the suns to rise again.”

Coypu laughed at that, and Rah couldn’t help but smile in response.

“Darlin’ you don’t need no bone,” he smacked his stomach gently, “You’ve got a cool, smooth surface right here!”

He smiled and flipped over, turning his back to Rah. He looked back over his shoulder expectantly.

Rah tried to quell his rising smile, but as always, he was torn between amused and generally endeared, and couldn’t really hide the small grin.

He scooted up to Coypu’s back, gingerly laying his fingertips on it for a moment in quiet consideration, and then hooking his left around around his stomach, and his right under Coypu’s neck. He closed his eyes and gave a small satisfied grunt. Pressing his forehead against the broad back he sighed contentedly.

Rah didn’t have to open his eyes to know that Coypu was grinning at him. “Thank you.” He nuzzled him gently, the extremely open affection rather uncharacteristic for Rah. It’s not that he wasn’t affectionate so much as there was typically more banter and playful teasing accompanying said affection.

“‘Course. Anytime.” Coypu placed a hand over the one pressed to his stomach, applying soft pressure to the wrist. “That’s alright, yeah?”

Rah nodded against his back, “S'perfect..” He was getting sleepy again and knew Coypu could tell. Taking in a deep breath, he squeezed the giant figure briefly. “Knew I kept you around for a reason…” he mumbled.

Coypu gave a small snort. He would have replied, but he too was beginning to fall into the sticky jaws of sleep. Instead he chose to absently rub Rah’s hand one more time.

Rah gave a small snicker as the pressure on his hand fell away and an extremely light snore began to rise from the far side of his companion. His smile fell and he yawned slightly. Sleep sounded… good…. He could fix the ledger later that night after a nap. Or maybe in the morning. Or maybe the next afternoon.. Heck, the way this felt he could see accidentally falling asleep for days.

He grinned against Coypu’s back one last time, eyes shutting and sleep encroaching. He could sleep for days. But really, where was the fun in that?