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mirai-eats · 4 years

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Rewind and Start Over:: Mid-Afternoon

Bingqiu, rated M, 5,381 words, part 3/5, Incomplete

Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, re-transmigration, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rating May Change

Modern science is so good it kept a dead man alive.

Shen Yuan is dragged forward but his feet are stubbornly digging in the ground. Luo Binghe is running as fast as he can to catch up.

Luo Binghe is adjusting and Shen Yuan is conflicted.

read on AO3

It was a douse of hot water to find Binghe standing at his door, towered above in his midnight black glory, his hair even wilder than he could recall and redwood eyes sunk deep into his tired face. He was frozen in the spot, had half out as if he wanted more than anything to grab Shen Yuan and pull him back into his arms. He wanted him to do it.

“Sh-shizun?” Luo Binghe said hesitantly. His face. He has a different face, one that could not hide his emotions as well as Shen Qingqiu’s naturally cold mask.

“Binghe, it’s me,” Shen Yuan gulped and shakily climbed to his feet. After all this time, after all the waiting, he was finally here to take him back but only after he’d finally fixed his gaze to the approaching horizon instead of checking every second to see if Luo Binghe had followed him. The luggage his sister had bought him was sitting as a painful reminder in the living room; of how he was paying to leave Luo Binghe behind for good. “It’s Shizun.” He pulled his spine taught, and fixed his best cool and collected immortal Shen Qingqiu mask over his face. He’d been practicing, but he wasn’t nearly as good as the original.

There was a moment before the dams broke and tears flooded Luo Binghe’s eyes and his face scrunched up in what would be an ugly, twisted mess, but he was still very handsome. “Shizun!” He sobbed and with all his demon strength, he gathered Shen Yuan into his arms and held him close. “Shizun, Shizun, Shizun!”

Ignoring the painful cracking of his spine, he reached up and wrapped his arms around Luo Binghe’s broad shoulders, the width spanning larger than he remembered and his head pressed firmly into his chest. His original body is smaller than Shen Qingqiu’s, less lean and more skin on bones and vertically challenged, perhaps that’s why he felt so large. Luo Binghe was bigger than him before but now it felt as if he was being wrapped in a sticky, heated Binghe blanket.

“Binghe I-” he choked off, his heart overflowing with the year and a half he spent missing, yearning, for him.

“Is it really you, Shizun?”

“It’s me, I promise it’s me.”

Luo Binghe seemed to sink into him, letting his wound-up joints relax and rested his weary weight on Shen Yuan’s body. His hands gripped the back of his jacket so tight, shaking with unbridled emotions, Shen Yuan swore it might tear the fabric.

The words he wanted to say were caught in his throat. The nights he had spent staring up at his pale ceiling with the street lights ruining the opaque night and the seamless noise pollution disrupting however much sound of Binghe’s voice he could recollect. Hours and days and weeks and months spent with a weight on his chest that he couldn’t pull off and now it was forced into his lungs waiting for him to-

To do what?

Tears blurred his vision. He wants Shen Qingqiu’s face back.

They pulled each other into Shen Yuan’s room, which he noticed was much neater than when he’d left it that morning. Finals were just beyond the horizon and the looming threat had left him careless in taking care of himself and his space. He only caught a glimpse of it before Luo Binghe had walked them back to the bed and tumbled down onto the Tempurpedic mattress, sinking into he duvet with a soft gasp of surprise from Luo Binghe. His body was still pressed firmly against Shen Yuan’s, arms wrapped around his narrow frame with no will to let him go.

Simply relishing in their warmth was what they needed right now. Shen Yuan stroked his tear-stained cheeks and brushed stray locks from his brow, the glimmering demon mark tempted him to bring his lips down to a soothing kiss, which he gave into easily, to the first kiss in so, so long. Luo Binghe sighed into his hold, his eyes fluttering under his tender touch, long fingers stroking a pattern in the small of Shen Yuan’s back.

Neither wanted to break the peace and neither dared to try.

---

It was later after Shen Yuan let his heavy head rest on Luo Binghe’s warm chest and dozed for a bit did he curse the phone alarm that went off to remind him to get ready for work. Luo Binghe half sat up with him and glared at the phone in his hand.

“Give me a second, Binghe,” Shen Yuan painfully extracted himself from Luo Binghe’s warmth. “I need to clear something up.”

He stepped out of the room, leaving the door open and himself in view for Binghe’s sake and quietly called his work to use up a little of his sick hours to ditch his short closing shift. With an apology, he hung up and went back into the room. He finally peeled off his jacket, his skin feeling toasty from intensely cuddling Binghe. He crawled back into bed and felt Binghe’s eyes lingering on his exposed arms.

“What?” He asked, flushing under his gaze.

“This place, tell me about it,” Luo Binghe said slowly. “It’s… different. You’re different.”

Ah. “I- well, you’ve probably figured it out but this is where I’m from.”

Luo Binghe nodded. “Shang Qinghua told me you two transmigrated into our world he wrote, but that’s it.”

Shen Yuan breathed, sitting up from his warmth and proceeded to tell Luo Binghe everything. The System isn’t here to deduct points as he’s technically offline, so he was free to tell him everything that’s been gnawing at his bones since day one. His old life as Shen Yuan, a second-generation third son with too much time on his hands and a heart too weak to keep him going, his brutal curses and a fading death that lead him to rewrite the novel. His requirements, the tasks he had to complete.

Luo Binghe was crying, full-blown sobs toward the end when he told him about how he had no choice but to push him and Bingge came from a System punishment meant to kill him originally.

“If Shizun had asked,” he wept, “I would have jumped into the Endless Abyss a thousand times and more if its to save you.”

“I couldn’t,” Shen Yuan wiped away his hot tears. These weren’t his crocodile tears used to pull and push Shen Yuan around. “That was dangerous, too. The condition of the System is that I must never speak of it and never imply your world was a novel or I would have died again.”

“The other Shen Qingqiu, from the other me’s world,” Luo Binghe started. “Is…?” He could almost see the original good’s limbless, blind body dangling reflecting in Luo Binghe’s star shine eyes.

Shen Yuan nodded. “Yes. That’s why I ran away.”

A fresh wave of salty tears broke dripped down Luo Binghe’s sobbing face and he pulled Shen Yuan into a crushing hug. “I would never! I could never hurt you! I don’t even want to think of hurting you!” He cried his big, fat tears into the thin cotton of his shirt.

Shen Yuan hugged him back tighter, his usually shy exterior thrown away for the moment only to soak up his Binghe. They sank back into each other’s arms and felt the dripping daylight fade to molten gold and then a sleepy grey, the only sound besides the constant city humming was their sweet whispers, old endearments they swore they would never be able to say again, and hushed cries when their hearts grew too full.

---

“My name is Shen Yuan.”

Luo Binghe nodded. “May Shizun… allow this lowly disciple to call you as such?”

“I would rather you call me that than Shizun here.” He could feel the flush staining his cheeks.

“A-Yuan,” Luo Binghe murmured, slipping his arms around his waist from behind. He pressed a kiss to his nape, relished into the hitched gasp from Shen Yuan’s throat. “I called you A-Jiu once and you didn’t like it and I thought you didn’t want to get that close with me, but now it all makes much more sense. It was never your name.”

“Yeah uh, please let go just for now? I need to move around.” Shen Yuan ducked out of Luo Binghe’s corded arms and went back to the stovetop where he was making dinner.

“I’m sorry, A-Yuan, please continue.” Luo Binghe stepped back into his space and with a large hand placed on the small of Shen Yuan’s back, he leaned in and closely watched Shen Yuan mix together the last of the vegetables into the fried rice. “This disciple wishes to learn how to utilize your kitchen in order to make you excellent meals again. But I also don’t mind A-Yuan cooking for me, too.”

“This is the only thing I know how to make besides a mean scrambled egg,” Shen Yuan said. “It’s not the best tasting fried rice, my brother makes it so much better.”

To prove his point, he turned off the heat and served the lackluster fried rice into bowls, shuffling awkwardly around the already too-small kitchen with Binghe latched to his side. He served it at his kitchen bar with mismatching cups of his favorite iced jasmine tea and with a flourish presented his go-to meal to his husband.

Luo Binghe’s eyes sparkled and dove right into the bland meal, the eggs a little too jiggly for comfort and the vegetables almost tasteless from being overcooked. A crunch of undercooked rice hit Shen Yuan’s molars and he did his best to bury his face into his bowl so Luo Binghe didn’t need to see the face of the man who made the pathetic meal. How could he compare to the perfect protagonist?! This is a meal he makes to eat alone if he doesn’t want to buy meals at school and work the next day or two! It’s not supposed to be fed to anyone but him, who cares if it tastes good if he's the only one eating his shame?!

“Shizun this is delicious!” Luo Binghe said between bites, his bowl already almost empty. He scraped the rest of it into his gaping maw, not leaving a single grain of rice behind, and chugged his whole glass of iced tea in one go. “May I have seconds?” His eyes, his smile, was all so bright. A bit of green onion was stuck to the corner of his mouth.

Shen Yuan felt a warmth in his core melt his aching heart. Of course, he loves it, Shen Yuan could feed him dirt and he’d say it’s the best meal he’s ever had simply because Shen Yuan gave it to him. “Go ahead, have as much as you’d like.” Without thinking, Shen Yuan reached over and picked the green onion from Luo Binghe’s mouth.

“I almost missed a bit, thank you Shizun.” And with no shame, Luo Binghe leaned in and took the fingers that’d pinched the green onion from his face and licked them into his mouth.

“Shameless,” Shen Yuan hissed, his thin face flaming.

“I will not let a scrap of my A-Yuan’s hard work go to waste.” As if to prove his point, he rose and piled himself another bowl.

—-

“How are we going to get you back?” Luo Binghe asked.

Shen Yuan froze at his laptop, fingers hovering over his keyboard. “I don’t know. I died the first time I transmigrated. There could be a chance it just takes me to die again to go back to Shen Qingqiu’s body, but…”

“No.”

“No?”

“Not unless we’re certain your soul will go back. How did you do it the first time, with the Dew Seed?”

—-

They decided not to try yet, to take their time working on a solution to get him home without even the slightest chance of failing. Luo Binghe had already tried popping back to their world and grabbing Shen Qingqiu’s body, dropping it on the bed and asking Shen Yuan to get in.

He asked him instead to put more clothes on him and put him back. He obliged, promising he got the sect lords to take turns daily replenishing Shen Qingqiu’s spiritual energy so he wouldn’t rot away. He didn’t say anything about redressing the body.

—-

That night they laid curled up into each other in Shen Yuan’s too small bed, sleepy kisses pressed into their skin until they couldn’t anymore. Shen Yuan could smell the horny on Luo Binghe, especially after he unceremoniously shoved his hand down the loose waistband of his pajama pants and was batted away. Another time, he promised. He’s been abstinent for a year and a half, and this body has never felt Luo Binghe before. It would be like the first time.

“I’m going to class tomorrow, you should stay here and relax-” Shen Yuan started

“Absolutely not.” Luo Binghe left no room to question. Shen Yuan sat up and found Luo Binghe’s face amongst the silvery traces of moonlight bleeding through the blinds. Determination laced the lines of his face and Shen Yuan, unrestricted finally, softly trailed a light finger along his strong jawline. Luo Binghe melted under his touch, but the firmness never left his gaze.

“You don’t have proper clothes to be going around,” Shen Yuan tried to reason. “I’m only going to my classes, I’ll be home by dinner. You’ll just be bored waiting for me to finish.”

“But I’ll be near you.”

“You’re not allowed in the classroom unless you paid to be there too.”

“I can wait outside.”

“You can wait here.”

---

Home, he realized. He had said “going home” without realizing the true implication. This is his home, this modern China where he had an apartment and a car and a job and so, so close to graduating with his Bachelor’s degree. Shen Yuan is a student and a son, a brother and a friend. His home is where his family is in their lovely manor uptown where lived his mother with her string of pearls necklace gifted to her by his father for their 20th anniversary and his father with his favorite coat with the patches on the elbows like some eccentric literature professor. His eldest brother is going to inherit the company once their father retires, his second brother recently passed the bar exam, and his little sister is working at her first salon as a hairstylist.

This is a home, but not his home now. His home was now, wrapped in Luo Binghe’s arms as his sleepy breath tickled his neck, his unruly hair brushing his cheek and sticking to his bare arm. There was no rush to go back to the Proud Immortal Demon Way, Shen Yuan felt he was fine where he was now that he at least had Luo Binghe next to him again. He wasn’t shy to whisper a soft “I missed you so much, husband.” into his hair. They needn’t force themselves back so soon when they just found each other again.

Going home, he’d whispered into countless nights, was going back to Luo Binghe. He didn’t feel the need to rush back just yet.

Besides, Shen Yuan put all this work into this semester so far he wanted to at least finish it off before he disappeared again.

---

Luo Binghe pitifully waved goodbye from the door as he left the next morning a little after dawn, a painfully early morning class that left a sharper burn than usual when he had to leave Luo Binghe behind. He didn’t do any work last night and lugged his laptop case and heavy anthology book with him to school to work on during his break (and during one of his lectures that was a little boring, it wouldn’t affect his grade if he hunched over his laptop in the back the whole time). He’d showed Luo Binghe how to work the TV and where he kept the tea and snacks and, by Luo Binghe’s insistence, his cleaning supplies.

Coming home a little after four, he found Luo Binghe shaking with unshed tears in the middle of the now spotless living room.

“This disciple tried going to buy some fresh food to make Shizun a grand dinner today but they wouldn’t take my money and had people take me away when I tried to shove it in their little boxes and take the food anyway. I gave them more than enough but it wasn’t the paper stuff they had so I was forced to leave,” Luo Binghe blubbered, tears now freefalling down his face and dripping across his exquisite black robes. “I’m so sorry, Shizun. I wanted to make sure you ate very good so you can do your work with a full stomach but I can’t even do this for you here.”

Shen Yuan reached up, uncomfortable with how high he had to reach with their new height difference, and patted his lovely husband’s head. “I told you to stay here. I appreciate the effort, Binghe. We can go shopping now, I have the money they use here.” He was between paychecks right now but his credit card was nearly paid off. This constituted as an emergency in his head so figured this should be fine.

---

First, he found some too big clothes for Luo Binghe to wear. A pair of sweatpants he bought too large for the purpose of wanting to swim in them or when it was really cold he would layer those over a smaller pair of pajama pants. They fit quite snug over Binghe’s figure and considered he might have to go a size or two up to find a pair of pants that would fit. There was a shirt he dug up from the depths of his closet that also fit a little snug, too snug across Luo Binghe’s chest, stretching poor Hatsune Miku’s face into a warped mess. He mentally poured one out for her. A too-big hoodie he had he liked to relax in was thrown over, the sleeves short but it covered how the pants stretched across his firm butt and his too big…. you know. For shoes, he found the sandals his older brother left at his place over the summer, Binghe’s heels slipped off the back but it would do. A beanie was the finishing touch, olive green knit used to cover his demon mark.

He took him to his work, a department store with a little bit of everything (plus his employee discount) and dug through the racks to find the largest size of everything. It took a little too long and he tried to not meet his coworker’s eyes (which he could certainly feel on the back of his head) and pushed himself and Luo Binghe into the fitting room to try it all on. It was a chore showing Luo Binghe how to put everything on and finding what sizes worked best until finally, he had a handful of outfits plus a pair of sneakers, underwear, a soft hoodie, and a baseall cap to cover his forehead. Luo Binghe was nearly vibrating with interest, his head swinging left and right to take everything in.

“A-Yuan would look good in this color.”

“I like this, A-Yuan should get this for himself.”

“A-Yuan. I think you would look good in this.”

He had to restrain Luo Binghe from making him buy more clothes, he was already stretching his budget buying new clothes for Luo Binghe. After almost two hours they shuffled to the register with their armload of clothes to check out.

“Hey, Shen Yuan.” It was Sun Mei. The awkwardness had worn off a couple of months ago and they were back to being friends thankfully, but he couldn’t help feeling he cheated on Luo Binghe especially when her artificial waves pulled back into a bouncy ponytail and red lipstick as vibrant as always.

“Sun Mei, hi,” he greeted warmly. He felt Luo Binghe shuffle closer. She rang them up efficiently and the two of them chatted idly until another coworker strolled over to the registers with a mischevious grin.

“You called out last night and have the nerve to show face today and buy half our stock?” He indicated the two large bags of clothes.

“I wasn’t feeling good, dude,” he grunted. “I’m better today, tomorrow I’ll be here for opening.”

Luo Binghe had pulled himself closer to Shen Yuan, a possessive hand hovering over his waist. He could almost taste the vinegar rolling off his skin. He quickly finished up and bid them goodbye and took Luo Binghe back to the fitting room to remove the tags and put him in his nicer clothes. He tried not to think about the number of people who’d tried them on before and the factory smell that still lingered in the fabric but this was just for their last errand. He wore taper cut jeans, black sneakers, grey heather and black raglan shirt, and a soft, black hoodie that fit his larger frame much better. The green beanie still sat on his head and Shen Yuan retied his hair into a simple low ponytail with a spare hair tie. He was undeniably handsome in the clothes that were closer cut to his figure, his heart tumbling summersaults in his chest over the nicely stretched fabric over the swell of his muscular chest.

They stepped out and headed to the market down the street, a different one from the one closer to his apartment where Luo Binghe was kicked out of. With Shen Yuan at his side and non-cosplay looking clothes, this will go much better. It was like taking a child to a supermarket, his sticky husband constantly wandered off and reappearing with a new item and tossing it into the cart. He decided to indulge him this time and tried not to look at the total as he blindly swiped his credit card again and promised to make a payment tonight to soften the blow when the bill came in.

Luo Binghe was almost walking on air in his new sneakers, all the groceries in his hands and the fresh bag of clothes, Shen Yuan left with nothing to carry but the crippling debt he was throwing himself under. He tried reaching out to take a bag and Luo Binghe, completely misunderstanding his intention, switched all four bags from his left hand to the right with the other five and took Shen Yuan’s hand. Show off.

---

Living idly like this, domesticity so different from his previous life as Shen Qingqiu made it feel like he was living in a fanfiction. It was so soft, his days passing easily with Luo Binghe at his side again. They decided that there was no rush to pull Shen Yuan away from his current life just yet and let him finish the semester at least before they figured out how to get back.

A part of Shen Yuan was itching to go back to what he’d considered home for the past twelve years. Another wished to live here again with Binghe freeloading in his apartment to cook and clean for him. Their rhythm didn’t change, except Luo Binghe wasn’t pulled away to deal with demon lord business constantly, only watching dramas on TV that he said is helping him learn about this world’s culture, but Shen Yuan kept telling him things don’t actually work that way. He was so enthralled with the TV Shen Yuan was scared he was going to start neglecting everything to glue himself to the screen, much like Shen Yuan did his second year of college when a particularly thrilling and long anime came into his life.

He was a househusband to Shen Yuan, once or twice even coming on campus with him and hanging around outside his classes until he got out, but most often stuck at home and kept the house clean and meals hot for when Shen Yuan came back from work and school.

It was interesting teaching Luo Binghe everything he could of the culture and technology and as convenient as Luo Binghe found a rice cooker to be he still had his complaints.

“There’s no spiritual energy. I can barely pull anything from myself and there’s nothing in the air to feed me more,” he said.

“We don’t need them,” Shen Yuan answered. “There’s no monsters, and immortality is nothing but a fantasy.”

---

Luo Binghe found his fake robes one day while deep cleaning.

“They’re lovely,” he said, neatly folding the top layer. “A-Yuan should put them on more. You would look very beautiful.”

Shen Yuan never associated his original self with that adjective. Cute in a masculine, handsome according to his mother, but he was never handed compliments for his appearance. In fact, he was pretty plain looking, especially in comparison to Shen Qingqiu.

He put them on with Luo Binghe’s help. His hair was too short for the delicate jade hairpin he’d bought to match it. In the mirror, it was jarring seeing his plain face with short hair and glasses atop the graceful body of an immortal cultivator. It was silly in comparison when Luo Binghe saddled up next to him in the mirror, passing him his nice fan and placing his hands on his waist. His demon mark was on display and hair tied up messily, broad chest trapped in a black v-neck. Shen Yuan snapped open the fan and covered his bland face and Luo Binghe’s own beautiful one leaned down and brushed a kiss to his flushed cheek.

---

The first time Luo Binghe was in Shen Yuan’s car he kept the music off as to not overwhelm him with how different everything was. Luo Binghe had sat with his eyes wide in the passenger seat, his head swiveling around to take in as much as he could. It took a couple of drives before Luo Binghe fully relaxed, questions he had were already aired (most left unanswered because he doesn’t know jack shit about how engines work). Now, after all the TV Luo Binghe has seen, one of the tricks he picked up was shamelessly rubbing his large hand over Shen Yuan’s thigh toward the prize, only to be slapped away each time with a sharp threat of “I’ll drive us off the freeway if you don’t cut that shit out.”

—-

Speaking of sex, they haven’t done anything since Luo Binghe’s arrival. It’s been two weeks and on top of the year and a half apart, Shen Yuan was surprised Luo Binghe wasn’t more forward with what he wanted.

Actually, he had been. On the third day he seemed to be vibrating with want, his hands lingering like hot brands on whatever bit of Shen Yuan he could grab, his eyes dark with hunger.

“No.” Shen Yuan told him firmly. He’s thinking about how much it hurt in the peerless immortal Shen Qingqiu’s body. He’s already very fragile, very mortal body would suffer. He would die! Actually die this time! There was no System to do a magic reboot, nor a homegrown spare body hanging around! “We can ease into it but right now can we… can we just cuddle?”

Luo Binghe had pouted, but obliged, especially to an obviously shameless request from Shen Yuan. His face was much too thin to be asking for anything like that! It took all of him just to ask him to hold him!

He remembered a coworker, during a shameless conversation during recovery after store hours, talking about practice. Maybe… maybe he’ll look into it. Or alternatives for them.

Thank the gods Luo Binghe doesn’t know how a computer worked, let alone be able to check his search history.

---

He let slip he was debating on canceling his study abroad trip to his brother during a video chat and shortly later received an angry phone call from his mother about how he was throwing everything away for nothing. The worst was when his sister dropped by for a surprise visit. She brought lunch, his favorite take out place, but was taken aback by the sight of Luo Binghe relaxed across the small couch with an arm obviously out from where Shen Yuan had been cuddling into him.

His sister was polite and had thankfully bought a lot of food anyway to give Shen Yuan the leftovers for later meals. They ate crammed in his little living room with Luo Binghe on the floor pressed up against She Yuan’s legs. It would have been nice if it weren’t for her eyes shifting from Luo Binghe to Shen Yuan to the luggage tucked in the corner, the price tags still on. She didn’t say anything until she left and texted him aggressively about ditching his future for “a fling”. He chose to leave it on read and went to bed with his husband.

---

Finals nearly killed him. Thanks to Luo Binghe’s support, staying up with him every night and checking through his resources with him, quizzing him and feeding him, he pushed through the last week of school with a heaving gasp that left him collapsing face-first at the front door the moment he kicked off his shoes. Luo Binghe yelped and ran over, rolling him over to hold him in his arms.

“Shizun? A-Yuan?” Luo Binghe pleaded, tears gathering in his wide eyes. “Are you okay?”

“‘M fine. Just wanna sleep a bit.” He refused to open his eyes, snuggling a little deeper into Luo Binghe’s arms. “Let’s get drinks later to celebrate."

They ended up not getting drinks, but Luo Binghe made him the congee he missed so much and laid kisses all over him.

---

His parents were aware that there was a “someone” that influenced his decision to stay in China despite all the work he put into getting accepted into the program in the first place. His plan was to finish this semester at least then go back to Proud Immortal Demon Way. He would like to stay longer and get his whole degree, as he only had a semester left, but he missed that shitty world so much the ache weighed heavy whenever Shen Yuan left to go to class or work. He’d sit in his little car and sigh. This second chance at being Shen Yuan had left him mourning for the life he fought so hard to have

He figured at first when Luo Binghe found him again he would be happy at least with him at his side, but a gnawing restlessness ate through his insides. He craved the badly written world of Proud Immortal Demon Way where he idled away as a Peak Lord and taught children how to better themselves. Luo Binghe didn’t say, and never will, but he wasn’t totally happy living in modern China even with Shen Yuan. Finals were over and with America becoming a fading dream it was time to start figuring it out.

—-

“We should get married again,” Luo Binghe suggested. “We’re married back home, but not here.”

“We could do a courthouse wedding, sure, but you don’t have any form of ID. I technically can’t marry a person that doesn’t exist,” Shen Yuan pointed out.

“It could be for show, for your friends and family.”

Luo Binghe hadn’t even met his whole family yet and Shen Yuan didn’t know if he wanted him to. He already met his sister against his will, but his brothers and parents? He didn’t even want to play with the idea, let alone consider introducing them as his husband. Most people in China weren’t very, ah, agreeing to same-sex marriage as of yet and he didn’t want to test if his parents were part of the smaller percentage of those who were okay with it.

“I’ll think about it.” Shen Yuan stopped when he saw Luo Binghe’s widen, tears brimming at the corners unshed. “I want to, it-it would be lovely, but let me figure out how we can make it work here, yeah?”

The main issue was his family thinking he ditched America to get married to some unknown man when, well, that’s what he’s doing isn’t he?

#bingqiu #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #scum villain self saving system #scum villain #svsss #mxtx #fic #shen yeet #keep forgetting to crosspost OTL

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ryukoishida · 5 years

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LiuShen Week 2019 | Day 4 | In which they share kisses in different situations.

Written for LiuShen Week 2019 @liushenweek

Day 4: Loved (Free Day)

Title: And the Reason is You Fandom: Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System Characters/Ships: LiuShen Rating: Slightly NSFW Summary: Three times Shen Qingqiu kissed Liu Qingge, and that one time Liu Qingge initiated the kiss. A/N: Holy shit. Am I writing again? I know, I’m shocked at myself too.

“Liu-shidi, I—”

There was a hint of strain in his usually calm, assured tone, as if he was using his last ounce of strength to hold himself back from reaching out to the man sitting so close to him.

His shivering fingers lightly wrapped around the back of the other man’s neck, and he pulled his head down, their breaths mingling for just a brief moment, hearts thundering and drowning out everything else.

Even when he was slightly under the influence of the venom, Shen Qingqiu still somehow managed to kiss him with such careful precision and control. The mesmerizing taste of his osmanthus-scented breath — a clear sign of him being poisoned — was overwhelmingly saccharine when he touched his lips gently against Liu Qingge’s, who could only widen his eyes at the unexpected turn of events.

Two hours ago, they had dragged their exhausted bodies back to the inn after exterminating a group of high-level flower demonesses who had enchanted and kidnapped the town’s young men in order to suck their vitality in aid of their cultivation.

It wasn’t a particularly difficult encounter they had in terms of an extermination mission, but the leader of those demonesses had been cunning, enough that Shen Qingqiu – who, at least according to a scoffing Liu Qingge, had been too easy on them as the lord of Qing Jing Peak had initially planned to extract the kidnapped victims in a more polished means without causing too much of a mess – had fallen into the demoness’s trap.

Neither of them was seriously injured in the end, but Shen Qingqiu inhaled some of the dangerous sweet pollen, which as he soon found out to be a very potent aphrodisiac, and no long cold soak in the bathtub was able to completely erase the devastating effects of such venom. Tendrils of tantalizing heat and sparks of prickling sensation snaked up from within the depth of his body and spread to the surface of his skin, making him slightly flushed and breathless, almost as if he had a fever.

Shen Qingqiu had been absolutely vigilant of any physical contact since they came back, but it was all over the moment Liu Qingge’s fingers brushed against the back of his hand — swelteringly warm and over-sensitive – when he was handing him a cup of warm tea in an attempt to sooth the twitching, pulsing desire within him.

It took Liu Qingge much longer than he was willing to admit to react to the kiss, for the initially chaste touch of their lips quickly turned into something much more intense, something that threatened to rip Liu Qingge’s breath and last strand of logic away.

Then the acute, unnaturally sweet floral taste of Shen Qingqiu’s tongue shattered the illusion when he tried to deepened the kiss, and Liu Qingge quickly staggered back, shoving away the slightly shorter man, who was putting up quite a fight for someone who was supposedly poisoned and weakened.

“Shen. Qing. Qiu.”

With each syllable of the man’s name, Liu Qingge’s voice dripped with icy impassivity and quiet fury: a warning, or a subtle sign of fear.

“Damn it, Shen Qingqiu! Wake up!”

Shen Qingqiu’s eyes were clouded with raw lust stirred up by an artificial source, but the kiss had been real, the little noise of discontent rolling from the back of his throat when Liu Qingge pushed him back had been real, the desperate grasp of his sleeves when he attempted to come closer once more, and the eager way with which Shen Qingqiu called for him had also been real.

But…

You are not yourself, Liu Qingge thought.

He wondered why his heart was hurting so much when he finally lost the will to fight and simply allowed Shen Qingqiu to embrace him as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

And I am not the one you truly want.

ii.

“Liu-shidi, stay exactly where you are and don’t move!”

As soon as the Sha Lu Er flopped lifelessly onto the ground with a thundering thud, its gaping jaws twitching a few seconds more as human blood dripped from its yellowing fangs before it laid completely still, Shen Qingqiu returned Xiu Ya sword back into its sheath and ran towards his companion, his furrowing brows and hastened pace the only signs of his unease.

“Are you all right? Dear god, your arm…”

“I am fine,” Liu Qingge would roll his eyes at his shixiong’s melodramatic antics were he the type to do so; instead, he just acted how he usually would – avoided eye contact at all costs and pretending everything was fine, like the flesh and bones of his left arm weren’t crushed into a bloody, mangled mass by that damn fifteen-feet-long shark-deer monster that had been wreaking havoc and endangering the villagers in nearby towns. “Shen-shixiong has no need to be overly concerned for me.”

A pause, and then something hard hit the back of his head.

Liu Qingge uttered a pained groan and glared at the other man through the messy fringes of his forelocks, his iron-grey irises blazing in irritation despite his pale complexion due to blood loss from his injury.

Shen Qingqiu’s grasp on the handle of his fan tightened until his knuckles turned white, his lips pressed into a firm line as he maintained their eye contact.

“What the hell was that for?”

“What do you mean — that I don’t need to be concerned for you?! Liu Qingge, I thought we’ve gone over this already! What you did just now, throwing yourself so carelessly into the fight, I—” Shen Qingqiu exhaled harshly, turning his head away as uncomfortable warmth crept up from his neck to his cheeks when Liu Qingge continued to stare at him with a hint of curiosity laced within the initial frustration. “That was for making me worried sick!”

Liu Qingge blinked once, twice, finally comprehending what Shen Qingqiu was insinuating, and he stumbled the two steps forward to close the distance between them, leaving a trail of blood behind him.

“Shen Qingqiu…” he murmured, eyes lowered in a silent apology.

Shen Qingqiu lifted his arm and gently gathered a strand of Liu Qingge’s ink-black hair in between his blood-stained fingertips. He kissed his locks with a warm, tender light in his eyes that Liu Qingge had never seen before.

He didn’t dare imagine; he didn’t dare hope; he didn’t want to be disappointed.

“I cannot bear the thought of losing you, so please, Qingge, I beg you, don’t put me through that again.”

iii.

Shen Qingqiu kissed the back of the other man’s hand reverently, lips lingering on the skin marred with battle scars and tongue gliding over callouses hardened by swordsmanship training over the years. He traced his lips over the elegant structure of his fingers until he reached the tip of Liu Qingge’s middle finger, which he then took into the wet cavern of his mouth in its entirety, until the fingertip grazed the back of his throat, and he swallowed hungrily around it.

It was shameful: the wet sounds of Shen Qingqiu sucking on his skin like he couldn’t get enough of his taste reverberating in his ears, those mesmerizing red, swollen lips wrapping around his fingers, the trembling eyelashes surrounding the darkened irises that looked like Shen Qingqiu wanted nothing more than to consume him whole.

It was shameful, and Liu Qingge wanted to turn away from this unbecoming sight, but he couldn’t stop noticing how Shen Qingqiu’s chest was rising and falling deeply with each breath, or how his long hair, freed from the length of his hair tie, flowed like rivers of ink over the pale canvas of his shoulders.

“Mnn… Shen Qingqiu, stop playing around and get to it…” he’d meant to sound menacing, but the breathless way with which he uttered the threat betrayed the swelling desire barely contained within his shivering body.

At long last, as if finally satisfied by the teasing he’d instigated against his beloved shidi, Shen Qingqiu pulled his head away with a knowing smirk, a thin string of saliva still connected from his lower lip to the tip Liu Qingge’s finger.

On the battlefield, Liu Qingge incited fear in his enemies and admiration in his allies simply by his presence and the powerful arcs and sweeps of his Cheng Luan sword; in the privacy of their shared bed while lying underneath Shen Qingqiu, Liu Qingge somehow lost the prideful and confident air that made him one of the strongest combatants in the cultivation realm. Instead, he would relinquish all his control to Shen Qingqiu, who would then patiently guide him between the valleys and peaks of pleasure through agonizingly gentle touches and ferocious, carnal ecstasy.

“Qingge, is this how you ask your shixiong for something? Where are your manners, hmm?”

Shen Qingqiu had a light grip of Liu Qingge’s chin so that the other man couldn’t turn away as Shen Qingqiu had suspected he would.

With bloodshot eyes and lips that’d been bitten raw, Liu Qingge muttered a fairly impressive, “fuck you.”

“I thought that was the plan, was it not?” Shen Qingqiu laughed, amused by Liu Qingge’s lackluster insult as he placed a soft kiss on the other man’s forehead. “Or are you having second thoughts?”

“Never.”

+i.

Shen Qingqiu was not good at cooking. He wasn’t awful at it per se, as he had the skills of making instant noodles with various toppings back in the good, old days without burning down his tiny apartment, but he’d choose to go exterminate a bunch of evil demonic beings over doing this any day.

But for his cultivating partner — the light and love of his life, his newly-wedded husband — he would cook him a proper meal even if it killed him.

Perhaps he was being a little over-dramatic in this matter.

Shen Qingqiu chopped the tofu half-heartedly, trying to recall the specific way Luo Binghe had taught him, but all his effort only resulted in uneven chunks of the silky white curds, one-fourth of the portion he was certain he’d turned into useless mush that couldn’t be pan-fried in the wok.

On second thoughts, maybe he should have taken actual notes when Luo Binghe had been teaching him how to make a few homely dishes just a few days ago.

He was about to get another cube of tofu sitting in the wooden tub of cold water when Liu Qingge’s voice could be heard from the kitchen’s entryway.

“Shen Qingqiu, there you are,” the lord of Bai Zhan Peak had a slight, confused frown to his brows when he stepped into the kitchen and gradually made his way towards his partner. “I have been looking all over for you… what in the world are you doing?”

He raised one of his brows in puzzlement. “What is this? Are you… are you making dinner?”

“Trying,” Shen Qingqiu emphasized the keyword in this matter. “And failing miserably, as you can see.”

He stepped away from the counter to let Liu Qingge observe his progress — or lack thereof, rather.

Shen Qingqiu sighed, placing the knife down on the cutting board.

“Binghe spent almost four hours the other day teaching me how to make this dish, too. Now I feel terrible for wasting his time. It seems that I have learned nothing from our culinary lessons.”

Liu Qingge’s eyes flashed dangerously at the mention of Luo Binghe.

“Wait, you were with that brat? On your own? When was that? How many times have I told you to stay away—”

“Oh, calm down,” Shen Qingqiu chuckled, swiftly going over to his partner and wrapping his arms around the taller man’s shoulder, pulling him closer as he continued, “he’s just a mere child, Qingge. Why must you two always act so childish and hostile to each other every time you meet? It’s understandable for him to act this way since he’s still a teenager, but Liu Qingge, you are the renowned, respectable Bai Zhan Peak Lord. You don’t have to stoop down to a child’s level like that. I know you are better than that.”

“Hmph. I do not understand why you are so protective of that brat, but he is your disciple after all. Just… promise me to be careful of his intentions when you are around him by yourself.”

“Duly noted,” Shen Qingqiu noticed the genuine worry in his partner’s eyes, and he nodded solemnly in response. With the ill-chosen topic out of the way, Shen Qingqiu once again glanced over at the atrocity he’d created in the short span of twenty minutes of meal preparation. “Now then, I suppose I should clean up this mess and let the kitchen staff reclaim their space.”

“Wait,” Liu Qingge placed a hand over Shen Qingqiu’s as the Qing Jing Peak Lord was about to reach for the knife.

“Hmm?” Shen Qingqiu turned to look at his partner, his head tilted to the side slightly in question. “Qingge, what is it?”

“I…” Liu Qingge bit his lower lip as he struggled to put his thought into words, his cheeks gradually turning pink. “I would like to try your cooking, i-if you do not mind, that is.”

Almost as an afterthought, Liu Qingge lowered his head and pressed a firm but gentle kiss against Shen Qingqiu’s lips before he stood up straight once more, the tips of his ears burning such a bright red that it was impossible for either man to ignore.

“Um,” Shen Qingqiu lost the ability to process for a good five seconds before he said with a bright smile that made his entire being glow with pure happiness, “sure.”

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #liushen #liushenweek #bowie's crappy writing

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