#when obi said ‘cause all (s)he’ll see is me’ he was talking about me (fr)
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Never Forget You [Chapter 3]
Obi-Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader
A/N: hey y’all! thank you for your patience with this chapter. enjoy!! :) [also totally didn’t have this in my drafts then forget to post earlier pfftttt whaaaatt?]
Warnings: angst with a tiny amount of fluff. anakin finally makes his debut in this series. it gets better just stay with me. long italic paragraphs = flashbacks
Anakin Skywalker had witnessed many things over the years.
Giant beasts? At least once a week. Sith Lords? Becoming too common. Droid armies? All year long. Looking death in the eye? Simply another day in the life of a Jedi.
Nothing could ever have prepared him for the sight he was currently witnessing.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, his Master, The Negotiator, the Jedi Council’s most prized Jedi…sulking.
It has been a full week since You returned to the Jedi Temple and Anakin couldn’t help to think his former Master’s mood and your arrival were connected. He was vaguely aware of your past friendship, only hearing bits and pieces of the adventures you had together as Padawans.
During his days under Obi-Wan’s apprenticeship he would often hear about how “a wise Jedi I once knew” would do certain things. He wanted to know more about this oh-so-great Jedi, however, any time the young boy asked his Master would always brush him off with a mournful look in his eyes.
He didn’t understand at the time but now he’s beginning to piece together that perhaps there was something more between the two of you.
“You think Master Y/l/n and Master Kenobi were courting?”
“Keep your voice down, Snips,” Anakin hushed.
“Sorry, sorry. But Master,” Ahsoka lowers her voice, “what led you to that conclusion? I’ve hardly seen them together since Master Y/l/n came back. What makes you think they could be lovers?”
“That’s just it, Ahoska. They’ve been avoiding each other like the Rakghoul plague. Obi-Wan told me they were such good friends, and now that they’re back they can’t stand to be in the same room as each other? I don’t buy it.” Anakin looked back to where Obi-Wan sat with Commander Cody, no doubt brainstorming new battle tactics and liberation plans.
“So what do you suppose we do? Set them up or something?” The look her Master gave her made her regret her words the moment they left her mouth.
“Come on, Snips. It’s a good idea. We get them to stay in the same room so they have no choice but to confront each other and talk things out! It’s genius.” Anakin smiled, his eyes still on his former Master. He had a feeling if Obi-Wan were to find out about this plan he would be in for a major lecture but he couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment. He couldn’t stand to see the old man look so miserable, not if he can do anything about it.
Ahsoka crossed her arms and followed her Master’s gaze. Something was clearly different about her Grand-Master. He had put his full attention into ending the war, which wasn’t new. However, she could tell something was off. He no longer came out to the landing zone to greet returning fighters, stayed away from the meditation and training centers as well as the Jedi Archives which was the most off-putting observation considering that was where he spent most of his time.
Anytime someone needed to find Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first place they would check was the ancient history section of the Jedi Archives.
“I don’t know why you find so much interest in these old books Y/n/n,” Obi-Wan complained from across the table. “Can’t we go practice our lightsaber skills instead?”
You smiled. “Nuh uh, mister. If I won the wager you promised to sit with me during my reading time. Now shush, and read.” You pushed the unopened textbook toward the pouting Padawan. “Maybe you’ll actually learn something.”
Obi-Wan stuck his tongue out in a childish manner, sighing dramatically when you gave him a certain look and reluctantly opened the cover and began to read Tales of The Old Republic.
Safe to say from that point onward, Obi-Wan would join your daily Archive visits with zero complaints.
You close the book, careful to make sure no pages fell out and gently push it back into its place on the shelf. Using the force, you carefully push the ladder you were currently standing on over to the next column and begin nitpicking through the array of old texts.
It took a few days for you to settle in and readjust to the Jedi Temple life. Once you had, however, things quickly took a turn.
Master Yoda requested that you help train some of the younglings who were having trouble advancing into the next stages of becoming a Jedi. In all honesty, you much rather have had the freedom to roam for at least one more week, but the new role presented an excuse to not be around a certain blue-eyed Jedi.
“Looking for something?”
The voice startled you, causing you to jump and lose your balance on the ladder. You yelp as you begin to fall towards the ground, bracing yourself for the hash impact and the bruises that would add to the collection on your side still currently healing.
Instead, you feel a pair of arms catch you, one under your back and the other behind your knees in a classic bridal style. The hold felt secure instantly, and you instinctively clung to the tunic of your savior. You look up to thank the person for preventing any injuries, but the blue eyes staring back at you made your mind go blank.
Obi-Wan stared back, unsure of what to say. This was the closest he has been to you since you left a decade ago. He longed to have you in his arms, to hug you, to regain that safety net you provided he knew he could always fall back on.
“Um...thank you, General.” It came out as more of a question, your mind still reeling from almost falling and also the fact that the man who you had been actively avoiding just happened to be in the same place you spent hours of your youth together.
“Obi-Wan, please. No need for formalities, darling.” The old nickname slipped out, and he was about to apologize when he noticed the light blush that spread across your face. Perhaps not everything about you has changed.
“Right...Obi-Wan. Well, I’ll be on my way then,” You rushed, trying to pass by him but he stopped you once again by the call of your name.
“Y/n/n’s wait. Whatever game you’re playing, frankly I am not a fan of it.” Obi-Wan crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows.
“What are you talking about?” You turned around and looked at him confused.
“You were the one who summoned me here,” he stretched his arms out, “here I am and now you’re trying to run away again. I hardly think that’s fair.” He was beginning to get frustrated. He came in with his heart on his sleeve, ready to finally talk to you after so long and find out why you’ve been keeping your distance. Now, all he felt was betrayal and irritation at the ongoing dance you insist on doing around each other.
He preferred to dance like you did in your youth, but alas this was nothing but another sign he needs to get mind out of the past.
You scoffed lightly. “Again? What is that supposed to mean exactly?” You knew exactly what he meant, but you didn’t want to admit it. You’ve been denying it for ten years and Force be damned if you’d admit it now.
“You’ve been avoiding me since your return--” You open your mouth to protest but he ignores you and continues “--and then you send the youngling to bring me here, only to try to flee upon my arrival,” He frowns, lifting his elbow and resting it on his remaining crossed arm. “I know our history can make things...difficult in the present time,” He glanced around cautiously as he spoke,”but I would appreciate it if we make an agreement simply to not speak from now on. No more games.”
You blinked, head tilting slightly as you waited for him to finish. “Obi-Wan, I didn’t ask for you to come here. Nor would I ever involve younglings in personal matters.” He should know that, you thought. But should he really?
His face fell from annoyance to embarrassment, his arms falling to his sides. “Oh.” He wasn’t sure what to do now. It was his own fault for getting his hopes up. I should have known better.
You purse your lips and nodded slowly. “Well, I’m glad we at least came to an agreement. Goodbye, General Kenobi.” You took your leave, forcing yourself not to look back as you felt his eyes watching your figure.
Obi-Wan let out a frustrated sigh, knowing he just ruined any and all changes of reconnecting with you. In his defense, however, you were the one avoiding his attempts at friendly conversation and refusing to meet and make up for lost time.
Still, something didn’t feel right about this.
“What the kriff was that?”
Ah, there’s that something. “Anakin, please tell me this was not your doing.”
Anakin smiled guilty, Ahsoka coming out from behind the bookshelf to stand next to her Master.
“It was Snips' idea.” Anakin shrugged, flinching when he felt her punch his arm. “Ow!”
“You were the one who came up with the plan, and now look! Master Y/l/n and Master Kenobi will never get together--” Ahoska stops herself, realizing she said too much. “Oh no.”
“I beg your pardon?” Obi-Wan looks at them both incredulously. “First of all, Master Y/l/n and I are simply…” he wanted to say friends, but even that was a reach at this point, “acquaintances. We knew each other in the past, and in the past our friendship shall stay. As for ‘getting together’, you both know very well any implication of that goes directly against the Jedi Code.” He crossed his arms tightly as he scolded.
“I can tell you harbour feelings for them, Obi-Wan. You don’t need to lie to us.”
“Whatever feelings I may or may not have for Y/n are unrelated. You must understand your responsibilities as a Jedi. No matter what emotional sacrifice we must make.” He made a point to look at Anakin at the end, knowing he won’t follow the implication but at least hoping he’ll get the message.
“We’re sorry, Master.” Ahsoka looked down in shame not at what they had tried to achieve, but at the cost and clear damage they caused.
Obi-Wan sighed, running a hand over his beard before resting it on her shoulder. “It’s alright young one. You meant no harm. Perhaps some things are better left forgotten.”
Oh, if only it were that simple.
A Padawan approached the three of them quickly. “Excuse me, Master Yoda sent me to tell you he and Master Y/l/n are waiting for you all in the council room.”
Of course, these things never are.
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heres a box to put your heart pieces in -> [] :)
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Hi!! I’m not entirely sure if your ships are still open and if not please just ignore this :)
More importantly: CONGRATS ON THE MILESTONE!!!!! You’re one of my favorite blogs and it’s nice seeing you get the recognition you deserve!
Okay the actual ship lol: I’m a pansexual 20 yr old female (so gender of the ship is totally up to you and generally I use she/her pronouns) and if possible, could I get a general star wars ship?
I would generally describe myself as pretty optimistic, I’ve been through a lot mental health wise and have come out the other side much more positive and realistic because of it. In fact, my friends call me sunshine or sunny because of how positive and “light” I can be. I have depression which can sometimes cause me to be down, but I work really hard to keep my mood stable. I’m super active (to the point where I want to be an athlete as a full-time job) and love running and cycling. I have two golden retrievers who are the light of my life and honestly keep me sane at times. I’m generally not one to be vulnerable, and I can’t ever say that I’ve truly shown my fully authentic self to anyone (which is something I’m working hard on but hey, takes time). I also seek reassurance often which is another thing I’m improving. I’m an INFP and generally think I fit the mediator personality type because I can calm pretty much anyone down and it’s easy for me to be the peacekeeper in a conversation. However, if anyone is treating others incorrectly (racist, sexist, etc.) I will not hesitate to loose my cool, to the point where my family has nicknamed me “firecracker”. I’m super loyal and very protective of those I love, but never in a possessive sense. I’m fairly tall, about 5’10 with brown hair and light brown eyes. My favorite color is yellow so most of my wardrobe is yellow or some variation of orange, though I do love anything olive green or deep blue. At times I’m pretty sensitive and occasionally have body image issues so some of my clothing is pretty baggy and comfortable. I’m a Buddhist, and mostly live my life by the peaceful standards set by Tibetan Buddhism. I take pride in being strong both physically and mentally and often support those around me to become better if they express the interest. I love being in nature and actually live in the middle of the forest, though I also love travelling and have been to most of Europe and some of Eastern Asia. All in all I’m a pretty grounded and peaceful person (even though I named a lot of contradictory things lol) and am always striving to better myself for those in my life and my future self.
Your ship!!
I would honestly ship you with Paz, I think you guys would fit together perfectly. Between your mutual love of children and animals, and his ability to be a calming and grounding presence for you, you would be the ultimate couple. I can imagine you guys going to town and just walking around the stalls hand in hand, and of course being the big teddy bear he is, Paz would buy you whatever caught your eye and surprise you with it later. Speaking of Paz being a teddy bear, can you imagine the snuggles?? Literally top tier. This man is soft™️ and would just envelope you and never let you go. I think your youse would have plants all over and probably some critters (both with four and two feet) running around. I also get the vibe that Paz would be super supportive of your interests, not thinking that your interest in death is weird but rather almost normal (being Mandalorian and all that) and I can also see you guys having really feel and in-depth conversations about death and subsequently life. As for how you meet... I think you’d most likely be helping with the foundlings or caring for animals (are there shelters in Star Wars? Now there are) and he would be all gentle with the kiddos/animals and you’d notice (because obviously, who wouldn’t notice the big strong man being so soft™️) . You might brush it off and assume he’ll never come back again because ~feelings~ but then when you see him again and he recognizes you, you might just go for it. He wouldn’t push you out if your comfort zone, but instead get to know you slowly. He’s also totally the type to remember all the little details about you like, you mentioned you were tired? Coffee the next day (or whatever you may use to wake up) you need a break from your shift? He remembers what you said your favorite restaurant is and is already getting you out the door. Once you guys have been together for a while I can imagine talking about having a house with some land along with more kiddos (let’s face it, all the bucket boys have a breeding kink) and he’d be okay if you didn’t want that life but would be thrilled if you agreed to the white-picket-fence dream he’s envisioned for you guys. 1000% the supportive s/o who drinks his respect women juice ™️ religiously. I can’t remember if you included your love language in your details, but if it’s touch ohhh boy and you in for a treat with Paz. When I said this man won’t let you go, I mean it. Big arms and large hands (😏) just holding you? *chefs kiss*. He would LOVE it when you lay on his chest and if you ever let him lay in yours and listen to your heartbeat? The man thinks he’s died and gone to heaven. You would also be the first person to see his face if you wanted to, which would probably cause both of you to cry (happy tears) ngl. Also, just a thought that won’t leave my alone, Paz is tatted to the nines but if you’re not into that then ignore this part lol.
Thank you again and congrats on the milestone. Like I said, you deserve this and so much more and it make me so so happy to see you finally getting the recognition you deserve.
Thank you so much for your kind words it means a lot, and thank you for being here, I really appreciate hearing from you and talking thots with you!
For your ship, I ship you with Obi Wan Kenobi!
Being a Jedi and following Jedi practices I think Obi Wan would really like that you follow Buddhism and follow a peaceful lifestyle because it is something similar to what he has grown up practicing himself. Obi loves your optimism and sees it as a breath of fresh air after all the negative things he goes through day by day while fighting in the war and being torn from his peacemaking ways into w war general. Obi absolutely loves your dogs, and don't feel bad if when he visits you he makes a beeline straight towards the dogs to give them pets immediately after saying hello to you. When Obi notices how much you like to be active, he will invite you to come to the training rooms at the temple where he will teach you how to spar so the two of you can spend time doing that, or just running the course that the Jedi have set up for training. Obi loves how much yellow and orange is in your closet and just your style in general, but he likes to tease you about owning so much yellow means that your favorite battalion is his own, the 212th, and how you are their little good luck charm. Obi is very much a peacekeeper and would rather negotiate an opponent down rather than fight, so he very much is glad that you are a peacekeeper as well. That being said though, he does like that you stand up for what you believe in and for others, it never fails to bring a smile to his face when you get a little feisty. Obi Wan is a very caring person and in my opinion very observative, so he will notice when you are feeling down around him and he will give you as much reassurance that you need. No matter what it is Obi will make sure and find a way to cheer you up because he hates seeing anything but a smile on your face.
OMG everything and I mean everything you wrote in your ship for me is perfect!!!
Paz buying me anything that catches my eye? I am dead. Paz being a big ass cuddly teddy bear? yes please, I want him to lay on top of me and squish me in a big hug. Having deep conversations with him? That is my shiiiiittttt. Paz remembering small things like how I take my coffee or tea or my fave restaurant? I am so fucking SOFT! Paz planning out a cute little home for the two of us? Ugghhhhh I can’t! And lastly, both of us crying when I see his face for the first time? Fuck, I am crying now goddammit!
Thank you for this, and thank you for being here and being so lovely to me!
(16/20)
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obi-wan kenobi fluff alphabet
based off of this original post! if you guys want to see another star wars/marvel character, drop a message in my inbox :D
a - activities - what do they like to do with their s/o? how do they spend their free time with them?
obi-wan would sit and watch paint dry for hours if he was with you. he doesn’t care what you guys do, as long as you’re together. however, he does particularly enjoy training with you, especially when you both get competitive. he also loves going for long walks, particularly at sunset, when you guys can just talk about everything and nothing.
b -beauty - what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?
as a jedi, obi-wan automatically admires things like patience and understanding, but especially passion. he loves when his s/o has a fiery passion to do something, whether it’s for a cause or to complete a task.
c - comfort - how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
obi-wan can usually sense your emotions through the force, so he’s very aware of what you’re feeling. if he’s not with you, he’ll reach out to you and try and talk to you - it’ll be calming words, sometimes ones of advice. if he’s with you, he’ll sit you down and hold you. if you want to talk about it, he’s all ears, but he’s also more than happy to just lay with you.
d - dreams - how do they picture their future with their s/o?
this is a tricky one because given the circumstances, obi-wan can never plan any definitive - his job is unpredictable and he barely knows what he’s doing in the next week. with that said, the one thing he is certain of is that wherever he ends up, he wants you with him.
e- equal - are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
your relationship is definitely one of equals. obi-wan is so big on communication and talking and being on the same wavelength as you is very important to him. with that said, he is a jedi master and spends most his time instructing other people so he can over-step a little sometimes, but he’s very quick to notice and act on it.
f - fight - would they be easy to forgive their s/o? how are they fighting?
again, obi-wan is so big on the communication front and he urges you to talk things out rather than argue. with that said, fights are kind of inevitable in any relationship and they do happen; if he’s in the wrong, he’ll always apologise quickly and if you’re the one he feels is in the wrong, he’ll explain why and it’s not long before a compromise is reached.
g - gratitude - how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
he is the KING of gratitude. he is so aware of everything you do for him and obi-wan is so focused on making sure you know it. (side note: some of his methods of appreciation™ belong in the other kind of alphabet)
h - honesty - do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? or do they share everything?
obi-wan would never lie to you. he hardly has a reason to, and even if he did, his guilty conscious would make it impossible for him to do so. your relationship is your safe space and it’s an open book. you know each other better than you know yourselves (which works out quite nicely).
inspiration - did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
you turned his whole world around. before you, he’d completely shut the door on love and locked it behind him. you made him realise that he could be a good jedi and still love you. in fact, obi-wan probably credits you for making him a better jedi; the presence of somebody else in his life made him much more rational and self-aware.
j - jealousy - do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?
obi-wan tries not to get jealous but he’s a human being, and it does happen. you guys can’t be open about your relationship in certain places, and that does lead to situations where somebody gets a little too close, but it’s his trust for you that trumps his jealousy. he knows that you love him and would never hurt him, and that’s enough to get him through it.
K - kiss - are they a good kisser? what was the first kiss like?
obi-wan kenobi is one hell of a kisser and nobody could convince me otherwise. he’s definitely had enough experience with it, and that only increases when he starts to learn what you like in particular.
l - love confession - how would they confess to their s/o?
it would probably take a lot for him to tell you - like, obi-wan is risking a lot and going against the very code he practices. but, once he’s convinced himself to do it, it’s full steam ahead and it’s a simple declaration.
m- marriage - do they want to get married? how do they propose? what would the marriage be like?
it probably depends on the situation. if it was after order 66 (ouch) and you’re both adjusting to life on tatooine, he’d definitely be down for it; after everything, he’d want to settle down and you’re the only constant in his life. if you were both still at the temple, he’d be pretty content with just being with you. your relationship is extremely dedicated and important to you both, so it’s not all that different from a marriage.
n - nicknames - what do they call their s/o?
obi-wan probably uses darling, my love and my dear the most.
o - on cloud nine - what are they like when they are in love? is it obvious for others? how do they express their feelings?
he’s in a permanently good mood. anakin is probably the first to notice it; when he messes up and obi-wan is oddly pleasant about it, that’s when he realises. he’s normally an upbeat person most the time anyways, but when he’s in love, he’s like a literal ray of sunshine.
p - pda - are they upfront about their relationship? do they brag with their s/o in front of others? or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
for obvious reasons, you and obi-wan have to keep your relationship completely secret. with that said, if you guys are on a far away mission where nobody you know can see you, he’ll put on small displays of affection like intertwining your fingers or putting his hand on the small of your back.
Q - quirk - some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
obi-wan’s connection to the force works as a connection to you (and vice versa if you’re also a jedi). it’s never in an overbearing way or a protective way, but it means you guys are intertwined in a way that’s beyond your average earthly relationship.
r- romance - how romantic are they? what would they do to make their s/o happy? cliché or rather creative?
for obi-wan, his love for you is hidden in every day gestures. he remembers the exact way you like your caff, he’ll take note of every tiny detail of every conversation ever and he listens to you in a way you’ll never quite get over. for example, one time you mentioned you liked a type of flowers that can only be found on one specific type of planet, and six months later, he happened to be on a mission there. he returned with the flowers, which by then, you hadn’t even remembered mentioning.
s -support - are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? do they believe in them?
the man is like your own personal cheerleading squad. whatever your goal is, however big or small, he will support you through hell and high water.
t - thrill - do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? or do they prefer a certain routine?
because there’s a lot of sneaking around, you’re both kept on your toes pretty much all the time. with that said, you and obi-wan do fall into your own kind of routine together after a few years; neither of you mind. as long as you’re together, you’re happy.
u - understanding - how good do they know their partner? are they empathetic?
obi-wan knows you better than anybody. he knows your tiny mannerisms and habits and he never fails to surprise you with how much he gets you.
v- value - how important is the relationship to them? what is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
you’re literally the most important thing in his life. everything he does, he does it for you.
w - wild Card - A random fluff headcanon.
obi-wan loves to hold you at night, and sometimes it’s not even a conscious decision. there are times when you fall asleep on different sides of the mattress and wake up to find your legs tangled and his arms clinging onto you.
x - xoxo - are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
in private, hell yes. when you guys are in your quarters, he loves to hold you and kiss you. it was surprising at first because before you were together, you never would have predicted it but it’s one of your favourite things about him.
y - yearning - how will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
thank fuck for force bonds, amirite?
when you guys are apart, you can easily stay in touch because of your connection via the force. it’s nothing compared to physically being with you, but it helps tide him through the longer missions.
x - zeal - are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? if so, what kind of?
obi-wan would literally cross the galaxy and back ten times over for you. the man would do anything to keep you safe and protect you.
#obi-wan kenobi x reader#obi-wan x reader#obi-wan kenobi imagine#obi-wan imagine#star wars x reader#star wars imagine#star wars fluff#star wars imagines#star wars preferences#star wars alphabet#star wars fanfic
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arthur x fem!reader | I’m okay
arthur boyle x reader
female reader
Arthur gets injured during an Infernal attack, and his girlfriend freaks out, as she lost loved ones before.
warning : mention of death
‘’Arthur !’’ (Y/N) said. ‘’Be careful, okay ?’’ The main addressee nodded, before following Shinra. Indeed, the 8th Company was on a mission, having different Infernals at different places. And of course, Shinra and Arthur were paired together once again. (Y/N), the blonde’s girlfriend, was with the other team members, as they still needed someone that could create fire with them.
And even if his girlfriend would tell him to be careful everytime, Arthur was never actually careful. He wasn’t thinking much. He was just jumping right into the danger. Of course he was thinking of (Y/N), but he had never got hurt, and Shinra was here to protect him anyway, right ?
He knew (Y/N) would go crazy if something would ever happen to him. The blonde knew that his girlfriend’s family had died in a fire. Indeed, she wasn’t home ; but apparently a member of her family -she never knew who- turned into an Infernal and since the house got on fire, her siblings and parents all died. That’s why she got raised by her grandparents.
And that’s also why when he actually got hurt for the first time, Arthur knew he had fucked up. Shinra was too busy with the one that had turned the man into an Infernal. However, that Infernal was really conscious, and that meant strong enough to throw Arthur out of the building, during a moment of inattention. Shinra had yelled so bad when he saw his friend falling from almost the top of the building, crashing into a tree before totally landing on the ground. He only wished one thing ; that he would be okay.
That’s why he used as much strength as he could to defeat the creator of the Infernal, before his teammates arrived. Immediately when he told what had happened to the blonde, (Y/N) had rushed downstairs -Arthur had been actually thrown from the other side of the building, so his teammates couldn’t see him from where they arrived.
There was blood. A lot. Too much. ‘’ARTHUR ! ARTHUR, OH MY GOD !’’ She yelled -how didn’t she rip her vocal chords ? ‘’We’re taking him to the hospital, he’s breathing, he’s breathing (Y/N), okay ?’’ Obi tried to reassure her. ‘’I promise he’ll survive, he’s a tough guy.’’ He kept going. ‘’Don’t promise things like that !’’ The girl said, drowning in her own tears.
She actually fainted and didn’t get the chance to drive her boyfriend to the hospital with Obi, Takehisa and Iris. Why ? Well, she got so overwhelmed with emotions and got so stressed that her body didn’t find anything else to do than shutting down. She had lost so many people already, and now him ?
(Y/N) woke up in her room ; it was daylight already. She hoped it was only a nightmare, but when she saw the look in everyone’s face when she ran to the common room, she understood it wasn’t. ‘’Did they... say anything ?’’ She finally asked, after sitting down. ‘’Well, when we arrived at the hospital he woke up for a few minutes, but fell back asleep. He’s not in a coma, don’t worry. They say he has some broken bones, but nothing he won’t-‘’ but it seemed that she wasn’t listening.
‘’(Y/N) ? Do you want to... talk ?’’ Shinra asked. He was actually close to her ; both of them losing their whole household because of a fire. She nodded and quickly rushed in her room. The boy was a bit shy to enter in a girl’s room, but he followed her anyway.
‘’They said he’s going to be okay... and you know Arthur, he’s tough. Actually, the fact that he crashed into a tree first made his wounds less important than if he would’ve directly fallen on the ground.’’ She sighed. ‘’Why do everything happens when I’m not here ? Am I cursed ?’’ Shinra gave her his nervous smile ; it was obviously not the moment to smile at all. However, the girl didn’t point it out. ‘’I think we would be both cursed. I feel guilty I couldn’t save him, (Y/N). I’m so sorry...’’ Shinra said. ‘’I know it’s not your fault.’’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘���Still, I feel guilty. I know we’re not the best of friends, Arthur and I, but at least for you, I should’ve been able to save him.’’ The girl frowned. ‘’Don’t use those words. It sounds like he passed.’’ The boy gulped and mumbled a ‘sorry’.
‘’I can’t fucking... can you believe it ?! My whole family dies when I’m a child, and now the guy I will maybe have a family with gets injured like this ?!’’ She was starting to freak out. ‘’(Y/N), don’t go crazy, they said he’s going to be okay-‘’ but she wasn’t listening. ‘’I told him to be careful ! Why is he never careful ?!’’ She was crying, and that’s why Shinra had the reflex to hug her. He had lived the same thing. And even if he wouldn’t admit it, Arthur was a bit of his best friend.
‘’You’ll have your family, (Y/N). And I promise that, by the time you have one, there won’t be Infernals anymore. We would’ve found the ones who do this, and we would’ve ended them.’’ She frowned. ‘’You all like to do promises in that Company...’’ she muttered. But Shinra wasn’t going to argue with her ; of course in her situation she wasn’t going to be nice. And since he was feeling guilty already, he was sure not going to think her words were inappropriate.
(Y/N) couldn’t sleep for the whole night. Yes, she had woken up during the afternoon. But still, how could she sleep knowing that her boyfriend was almost dying ? Maybe he wouldn’t survive the night, what if he had called for her and she wasn’t here ? What if she was never able to tell him goodbye ? First, her parents and siblings, and now her boyfriend ? Why did she get to survive and escape the danger everytime, while other people were suffering from it ? What did she have ?
But it was already daytime; and her questions still hadn’t find any answer yet. She didn’t want to move from her bed. She wasn’t even able to cry anymore because she had already cried so much and she could feel her dried tears on her cheeks. ‘’The hospital called.’’ She heard. He died. She knew he had. She was bringing death to people she loved.
‘’Arthur has woken up and he asked for you. They cleaned his blood and stuff. He has a cast on his left leg and apparently he has one of one of his arms as well, but he can move it a bit anyway.’’ Maki said. (Y/N)’s eyes widened as she straightened up on her bunk bed. ‘’He’s okay ?’’ She whispered, as if she was having an hallucination.
‘’Arthur wouldn’t die without your permission. You scare him too much.’’ Maki said, smiling, wanting to make her friend laugh. The main addressee, however, didn’t have any time to laugh, as she directly rushed in the bathroom to take a shower and be ready to go. She had to wait for her teammates, and those were the longest minutes of her life.
(Y/N) wasn’t able to eat anything before rushing into the car, and even if Obi was clearly concerned about it, it just made Shinra, Maki and Iris laugh. She was very excited, making her friends happy for her. They knew about her trauma as well, even though she had never told them all the details she had told Arthur.
When they arrived and asked for Arthur’s room, they let (Y/N) run to it alone ; they needed some time together. Of course, everyone wanted to see him. But they could wait 10 minutes, if that could make their friend feel much better. ‘’Oh, is it the girl Mr.Boyle was talking about ?’’ The nurse who told them in which room the blonde was in asked. ‘’Surely.’’ Obi nodded.
The nurse chuckled. ‘’He will be happy to see her. He told us he was happy he survived cause she would’ve killed him a second time.’’ Maki giggled at that sentence ; knowing she was right with her statement from earlier.
Arthur was currently sitting on a armchair in his room, drinking a tea while watching TV. Except his leg that was in a cast and his left arm that had some bandages to maintain it a bit immobile, he looked okay. Oh, he had a bandage around his head, but he tied his hair on purpose so it wasn’t hindering his bruises on his forehead.
When he heard the door being burst open -apparently (Y/N) didn’t care if he was sleeping or not- he turned his head to look at it and smiled, putting his cup on a little table he had next to his armchair. ‘’Hi, baby.’’ He said. And he was lucky he had prepared, with his arms wide open and the cup out of the way, since his girlfriend ran to him, a few tears falling on her cheeks. She looked hesitant, but he patted his lap to show her it was okay to sit there, so she did. He immediately hugged her, not caring about the pain in his left arm.
‘’Noooo, you don’t have to cry, baby. I’m okay, shh...’’ He whispered, rubbing her back and kissing the side of her head. ‘’I’m okay, look ! I wouldn’t dare die on you when you told me to be careful.’’ He had that shitty grin on when the girl looked at him, but she brushed it off. It was her favorite shitty grin ever. Instead, she cupped his cheeks and kissed her boyfriend, making him smile even more into the kiss. When she pulled away, (Y/N) hugged Arthur tightly once again. ‘’I really thought you would die.’’ She muttered.
‘’Nah, the tree reduced my impact. Thank the tree !’’ But that didn’t make her laugh. ‘’But I’m sorry I scared you that much, my love. I promise I will really be careful. I’m so sorry, I’m sure I made you freak out ! I won’t do that again, okay ?’’ She seemed overwhelmed with emotions once again, since the girl didn’t reply much to his promise. ‘’You’re okay, right ? You won’t die ?’’ He smiled. ‘’I’m okay.’’
arthur again but he got requested, okay?????
next up is grown up arthur going to buy bread for his lazy girlfriend but he gets lost and I oop (maybe????)
#enen no shouboutai#fire force#arthur boyle#enen no shouboutai x reader#fire force x reader#boyle arthur#arthur boyle x reader
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[hanahaki], two
one / two / three
hanahaki disease [花吐き病 ]
the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear.
Obi stares at the words, reads them once, twice. Then over and over again. He looks up at Ryuu- who looks every bit as uncomfortable as he does- then looks down again. His hands grip the book tightly.
“...What is this?” Obi asks.
Ryuu sighs, “It’s a disease that fits the very thing you’re describing to me now. I took the liberty of searching up diseases with symptoms of coughing when you were gone, and I came across this one. I thought it was completely bogus.”
Ryuu lifts the petal Obi handed him earlier, inspecting it with dull eyes. “I guess not.”
Obi stares at the boy. He doesn’t seem... surprised. Maybe he doesn’t know-
“It’s Shirayuki-san, isn’t it?”
Obi immediately doubles over, coughing.
“W-what makes you say that?” Oh god, oh god, a twelve-year-old can see it. What if Zen-
Ryuu hums. “You two are always together.”
Obi then proceeds to finish hacking his lungs out, the vestiges of his cough disappearing when Ryuu offers him a glass of water. It hurts going down.
“You don’t seem worried,” Obi heaves.
Ryuu hums again.
“Like I said, you two are always together.”
It happens in snapshots in Obi’s mind. The gradual realizations- punctuated with an increasing number of petals leaving his lips. Obi wonders when his lungs will finally give way.
The night air is crisp, and Obi hears the doors to the room adjacent to his open. Shirayuki walks out, resplendent under moonlight, and he is caught unawares. She smiles and bids him hello. He replies, and soon the conversation drifts to those they’ve left behind in Wistal.
“After such a long time, anyone would go a little mad,” Obi gripes, a smirk forming as his gaze falls to the ground between them.
“Zen’s probably lonely too,” Shirayuki replies, soft, and Obi feels a coughing fit threatening to break through his chest.
“It’s late now, so it’s better if you went to bed,” he tells her, “Goodnight!”
She smiles and Obi retreats behind closed doors. Immediately, his body throws itself onto the bed, his coughs resounding through the room. The bed shakes as he hacks out his lungs for the umpteenth time. When he no longer sees red hair behind his eyelids, he breathes out. Ah, he didn’t think she’d be awake.
Bringing his hand up to his face, he recalls soft skin, a light pressure, and delicate, fragile warmth. If he stares hard enough, maybe he can etch the feeling into his palms. Smiling, he muses.
“It was nothing, right?”
It is cold, frighteningly so- and a part of Obi is terrified.
Shirayuki is formidable in face of the unknown- an entity he has never trained to fight against- and this- this isn’t like Tanbarun anymore, when he was her guard. Now, she stands between death and life of an entire city, up against something that has taken down more men than he has. But she looks ever-headstrong in the midst of orders being barked all around her, her eyes holding a determined glint that eases the fear in his heart by a margin.
“To be split by a gate,” he says quietly. “Well it’s fine.”
She’ll be fine.
A tightness in his chest takes on a form he is not used to, and Obi resigns to the reality that this is not merely about what he wants anymore. Her life cannot be measured the same way he does his own, so Obi agonizes through the cold while slotting knives through his hands. Coughs barely leave his throat now- it is not his life he is worried about.
When Zen stares at him later in the woods, a part of him knows that Zen knows. When he orders Obi to stay behind, Obi is sure. But Obi knows as well, that a prince’s life isn’t as privileged as his to squander on chasing after love to the edge of death, and so decides to do so on Zen’s behalf. His heart pulls towards Zen nevertheless, for as sure as the snow is white, he is the one who wants to be at Shirayuki’s side the most.
And so would she, Obi thinks.
A petal leaves his lips as he reaches the gates. Another falls out as he sees her back among the never-ending shelves of Lyrias’ libraries. Ryuu passes him a glass of water, and it still hurts going down. But the tightness in his chest lessens, and Obi continues to squander his life away, willingly, gladly.
Five days have passed since Shirayuki and Ryuu left for Lyrias. Obi thinks that a part of him has already left with them, but he isn’t ready to surrender time to a place yet. Though his time at Wistal has been the longest he’s stayed in one place, two years seems like eternity next to the flickers of space he’s filled jumping from one place to another throughout his youth. Needless to say, he is restless aboard the ship- but soon finds his answer.
“I like Miss,” is the answer he gives Zen.
To his credit, Zen accords the right amount of shock mixed with surprise, as if it is the first he’s heard of it. Obi wants to laugh, because- even Ryuu��noticed, how can Master not?
“But I do know that you have been watching Shirayuki closely,” Zen says instead. “That’s why I’ll find it insincere to send you to where Shirayuki is without confirming your feelings.”
This bastard.
“...you’re an honest guy, Master.”
“You’ve told me that before.”
Obi loves Zen in a stupid kind of way; one that hates him as well, but he cannot say this is the first time his heart has pulled toward him. Zen’s gaze is soft under starlight as he talks of Obi as more than a tool to use, gives him form when his mind convinces him that he is nothing. It hurts him more than he would like to admit, that this man- this life- grounds him more than anything else has before. Obi is afraid of what will happen when the roots need to be pulled out.
“I’m sure you know the kind of person Shirayuki is.” Zen’s voice is steel now. Obi listens with rapt attention. “I need someone to depend on, someone who can follow her movements. And that I feel-” his gaze cuts through Obi, “is something only you can do.”
Zen smiles.
“Obi-”
There must be a word for this tearing of skin from bone, this reach for the unknown, this leap of faith bestowed upon him, wrecking and breaking him down into an existence he barely recognizes-
“-from now on, I want you to stay by Shirayuki’s side.”
Obi is knocked onto his knees. His fist presses against the hard wood. Head bowed, eyes closed, Obi surrenders.
“If it’s for you and Miss, I’m willing to head anywhere.”
Later on, when Obi returns to his cabin, he doubles over and grips onto the headboard of his bed for stability. The petals that drift onto the floor are bright red, and through laboured breaths, Obi smiles helplessly.
He’ll be seeing Miss soon.
Shirayuki grips onto him like a lifeline.
Immediately, Obi breathes easier. “Firstly, there’s nothing to worry about now, Miss. Everyone is alright, and they are now headed to the royal castle.”
A loud exhale rushes past her lips, and Obi is dragged down by his arms as her knees seem to give way. His heart swells- he’s here, with Miss, and everyone’s okay. He hasn’t felt this happy about returning before, he’s glad that Shirayuki can rest easy knowing that they’re fine.
Then she looks up, gaze impossibly tender, and something in Obi’s chest seizes.
“Welcome back, Obi.”
Vines unravel from his throat, and for the first time in a year, Obi breathes without difficulty. That alone causes him to panic.
“Up we go!” Obi grabs Shirayuki under her arms and begins twirling her around. It can’t be-
Shirayuki’s face is coloured with pure shock and Obi can’t help but burst out in laughter. He twirls her around some more, and opens the wound in his side. Shirayuki promptly shouts her disapproval. In response, Obi placates her by lying- though, he’s sure she knows- but ultimately distracts her with the thought of seeing the rest as soon as possible.
It is only when Obi later sees Shirayuki emerging from the library with Zen, hand-in-hand that his throat closes up again, chest tightening. He coughs out a few petals before returning back to his room.
It strangely does not feel like relief.
With Zen in Lyrias, Obi takes measures to keep out of their way. One, to give them their much-needed, much-anticipated alone time together. And two, to prevent either of them from finding out about his condition.
After Zen leaves, Obi lowers his guard.
It is a mistake.
When the first letter for Shirayuki arrives from Zen, Obi receives an untimely reminder of how things scarcely ever go his way in the form of a coughing fit harder than anything he has experienced before. He is bent over the table in the library, Shirayuki gently petting his back while giving worried looks to Ryuu, who in turn looks terrified as he stares at Obi, glass of water in hand.
Don’t, he mouths.
Ha- I wish, Obi thinks as the first few petals leave his mouth and fall promptly into the lap of their origin.
Shirayuki holds one, bright red, between her thumb and forefinger, and looks questionably at Obi. Then Ryuu. Suddenly, understanding washes over her gaze and her eyes widen.
Ahh, Obi thinks.
Shit.
#obiyuki#akagami no shirayukihime#wow this was really easy to write compared to the first one#hanahaki AU#yixin's fic
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The Grave Soul Keeps Its Own Secrets
A sequel to Virtue Has a Veil, and Vice a Mask, written for @youseimanami’s birthday request for three confessions...just two months late...
Zen had never thought he would see his brother married.
It’s not that he hadn’t understood -- a king’s most sacred duty, after ruling wisely, is to secure succession; to provide the royal line with strong, clever sons who would rule and have their own, and so on and so forth until the very walls of Wistal came down around them. It just had seemed as Zen hurtled towards adulthood, ushered into the glittering world of courts and intrigue that his brother had shielded him from in his childhood, that Izana was quite content to leave him his heir. He didn’t have time to worry about women and weddings when Clarines needed a firm hand to guide it, and, of the two of them, Zen was the one eager to love and be loved in return.
He’s not sure when things changed.
A king was to have an advantageous marriage and suitable heirs. It just hadn’t occurred to Zen that it meant a wife, that it meant sons, until he watches his brother sweep his bride across the floor, the closest thing to a smile curving his mouth.
It never occurred to him that one day, Izana might have family that was not just him.
And he’ll be expected to do this next.
It’s not a new thought; Zen has always known he’d be expected to marry, to have sons too, raised to be loyal to their cousins, but he’d never thought about -- about this. About weddings, about wives. It had seemed beyond him; a decision that, despite his complaints, would be made behind closed doors. He might talk about love, about mutual attraction made over a ballroom or a garden, not a table, but he knew what form it would take -- they might allow him the luxury of believing in a chance meeting with a suitable girl behind the roses in the west courtyard, but it would all be engineered, right down to her demure smile and the way her dress was in his favorite shade of blue.
Until he met a girl in a garden with hair the color of apples. Then it had all seemed so real, so within his grasp he might as well reach out and pluck his future from the branch.
-- the ribbon slides against his fingers, parting so that porcelain falls away to reveal bronze, to reveal blue, blue, blue –
Funny, he had always thought it would be his brother who yanked it out of his reach.
The ballroom is stifling; the dancing is at its height, and up on the dais, seated beside his brother, there is no way for a breeze to reach him, to brush him with its cooling touch. The formal regalia is better than his costume a few nights ago, but only just; his hair still is damp by his scalp, not helped by his brother’s insistence that he dance with every appropriate girl without a partner.
He hadn’t fooled himself into thinking he’d get a dance with Shirayuki, but –
“You’re avoiding her.”
He startles, nearly pitching off the seat they’ve set for him beside the throne. He looks up, up, into the all-too satisfied eyes of his brother.
His gaze cuts to where the Yuris delegation lingers, the ambassador bowed close to listen to hear Kihal over the music, mouths spread wide in smiles --
“Who?”
It’s the exact wrong thing to say; Izana’s gaze traces his, and his mouth curls at a corner. “My, my. I meant to say Lady Shirayuki, but I see I may have been hasty.” His eyebrows raise, intrigued. “Countess Yuris, mm?”
“I --” He could choke on his own tongue, the way Izana corners him. “I’m not avoiding Shirayuki.”
That, at least, is true; he’d considered, that first night, that he should go to her, that he should admit his sin in full but –
But he hadn’t meant to. The kiss had been for her, and even though it had been embarrassing to know he wasn’t as…familiar with her as he’d thought, it wasn’t damning. It was a mistake, easily made. That it had been an enjoyable one was...beside the point.
But Kihal…
“You’ll have to dance with her, of course,” Izana tells him, so simply. “I don’t know what the nature of your disagreement is --” his tone says quite clearly, but I can guess – “but Councilor Toghrul is known as one of your staunchest allies. One of the crown’s staunchest allies. It will be noted if there’s…strife between you.”
“It’s not like I’m the limiting factor, here,” Zen snaps, “she would have to --”
“Zen.”
He almost startles right off his chair.
“Kihal!” he gasps, righting himself. Izana’s face is turned away, but oh, he knows what those shaking shoulders mean. “I didn’t think – you were just talking with Rangi --”
“He told me you were taking too long.” There’s nothing different about the way she speaks to him; she still sounds half-annoyed, impatient that he never moves quite as quickly as she likes. “And that I should show the initiative of my mothers and come get you myself.”
“Oh, of course,” he mutters, “it’s a proud Yuris tradition to make me look like an idiot, after all.”
“As far as I can tell, it’s a proud Wisteria tradition that you’re an idiot.” She holds out a hand. “Well? Are you going to come or not?”
He darts a glance at his brother, waiting for him to – to say it would be an embarrassment, that to preserve the sanctity of the crown she must wait for him to come to her –
Izana smiles mildly back. “Are you going to leave a lady waiting, brother?”
“N-no!” He bolts up from his chair, hard enough that it wobbles threateningly behind him. “Of course not. It would be an honor to dance with you, Councilor Toghrul.”
“I think,” his brother hums, mouth twitching as Kihal’s strong fingers thread tightly through his, “that tonight she is Countess Yuris.”
“Oh--”
“Never mind him,” she deadpans, leading him away, “for you, I’m Kihal. Every night.”
That shouldn’t make his skin feel so warm, shouldn’t make his cheeks flush so guiltily. He’s too aware of her as they take the floor, of the way her gown clings to her shape, of the way it sways just above the floor, offering glimpses of slipper and ankle beneath. He hopes for a polka, for a mazurka, anything that would not require him --
The reeds warble the start of a steady measure, slow and strong. A Waltz. Damn.
Kihal turns to him, eyebrows raised.
“Do I have to lead too?” she asks as he stands dumbly on the floor.
“N-no! Of course not!” He reaches out, pulls her close, and – and this is not anything they haven’t done before, it’s no different than any other party, any other ball where they’re forced to dance to show solidarity between the crown and the islands.
Save for the one thing, of course.
“I should…” He coughs, clearing his throat. “I should apologize.”
Her eyes fix on his, and oh, how he remembers her being so close differently now, that blue –
“Why is that?” She lifts a narrow brow, entirely incredulous. “Have you done something annoying that I don’t remember?”
“No!” He nearly scowls -- she always thinks he’s done something, even when he’s innocent -- but then he remembers: he has. “For – for the other night. At the masquerade.”
Both eyebrows raise now. “Whatever for?”
“For – for causing you embarrassment.” He can feel the heat in his cheeks, flirting along the edge of his collar; he hopes she assumes it’s from exertion. “In the – the alcove.”
Her back tenses under his hand. “Why would you apologize for that?”
“I just –“ His mouth works, but words refuse to come, not unless he forces them out. “I didn’t mean to. And we were – we were both clearly expecting – someone else.”
“Someone…else.” The waltz is a close dance, but Kihal is suddenly a thousand miles away. “Right. Of course.”
“I won’t pry,” he tries with a laugh, swallowing down his nausea. This shouldn’t be so hard. “But do let him know I’m sorry for – ah, intercepting you.”
“Right.” The song ends, and she steps away sharply, as if his touch burns. “But for you, who…?”
“Oh.” He’s never told her, all these years. Not in words. “Shirayuki. You remember her, right?”
“Shirayuki.” Her smile twists, bittersweet. “Of course it was. You…she was the one that asked you to test the birds. To save Yuris. So of course…it was like that all along.”
“Kihal?” He doesn’t understand. “Is something --?”
“No, just.” She waves a hand to ward him off, twists away. “I just…put things together. It’s…fine. Enjoy the wedding.”
“The lord’s kiss!” a man calls out as the woman beside him laughs, both of them deep in their cups. “Give her the lord’s kiss and that’ll keep her in bed.”
A lady, bedecked in jewels worth more than a year’s rent in the city, offers, “A stallion like that is meant to be ridden often and well!”
Laughter presses around Obi, thick as a curtain, and he swerves from the Clarines’ glittering press. Their voices are raised, hurling suggestions at their king and consort as they climb the stairs, heading toward their marriage chamber. He’d known the tradition -- he’d seen more than a few of his men married at Lyrias -- but...
There’s not much he considers vulgar, but of course Clarines finds a way.
The balconies may not staunch the noise, but the stone certainly muffles it. With a sigh, he perches on the banister, one leg bent on the rail and the other hanging off, his back to the wall.
It’s a nice night; warm in his uniform but not stifling, the stars out in full force. His Majesty can’t control things like that, but Obi’s found the universe seems more apt to obey him anyway. Maybe one day he can get him to teach him the trick --
“Here you are.”
Obi doesn’t need to look; he’d know that voice anywhere.
But he does anyway; he’s always been a glutton for punishment.
Miss looks beautiful tonight. Her gown shimmers in the moonlight, green washed as pale as her skin with only silver to limn it. Mistress Haki -- Her Majesty picked it herself, it’s rumored -- a gift for Miss’s years of service to Wilant.
A woman should look touchable, she’d said with her secretive smile, fingers running down the beading, and unapproachable. Miss had laughed, had reminded her that she might like to dance at least once --
Mistress Haki’s sharp eyes had cut to him before darting away. The right man knows when he’s invited.
And the wrong one knows when he is not. Obi holds the sigh in his chest. She looks every inch a lady that has no business idling on a balcony with him. Miss meant for princes, for kings, not for mongrels who have sniffed their way up to respectability.
“Here I am,” he agrees. Her mouth curls at one edge as she rests her hands on the banister, right next to his boot. A twitch and she’d touch him. An inch and he’d –
He’d better forget what it was like to kiss her. He can’t afford to keep being...distracted. Not with her so close
“I thought you’d be inside,” she says, chin tilted up to the stars, “ the first in line to tell the King of Clarines how to impress his wife.”
“Maybe if it were, M—” Master hangs on his lips, but he closes teeth around it, swallows down such a dangerous thought— “more private. It’s one thing to talk about how to please when you’re soaking in a bath, but with strangers? Your family?”
There’s things he can do, and talking about how to swing a cock in front of the Queen Dowager is not one of them.
“I thought I’d see you out here,” he admits. “I thought you might be afraid of setting the curtains off with that blush of yours.”
Miss laughs, bright and lovely. He needs to stop thinking about how he’d like to swallow that down, how he’d drink it in a single drought like silvered bourbon down his throat.
“Oh, you should see how it is in Tanbarun,” she scoffs. “The whole wedding helps the couple undress too!”
He grimaces. “Remind me to never get married there.”
“I don’t think it would be that bad,” Miss says thoughtfully, turning toward him so her chin nearly brushes his knee, so that her arm winds over the shin of his bent leg. “It’d be funny, if you weren’t…”
She flushes, obvious in the moonlight. “Well, if it wasn’t the first time someone had seen you. In just your small clothes.”
Obi can’t help himself; he sees pale skin and bright eyes, hands skimming up over his bare stomach, pink lips parted –
He shuts his eyes, leaning back against the stone. He really needs to just – just stop. She kissed him once, and hasn’t – hasn’t done anything --
“I always thought that would be how it would happen for me anyway,” she admits haltingly, peeping at his from the corner of her eyes. “Anyone that I’d be with wouldn’t care whether…whether things were done before or after.”
There’s not enough air on this balcony. He crooks a grin at her. “Not what I would have expected from you, Miss.”
She bridles, just slightly. “I’m curious. Aren’t you and Garrack always complaining about that?”
He opens his eyes to half-mast, watching her squirm under the directness of his stare. “Even about that?”
Her shoulders round, her cheeks flush. “M-maybe.”
“Mm.” That -- that makes sense. Curiosity. That’s why she kissed him. Not -- not because --
He shakes himself. It’s a royal wedding with all the trappings, just like the one she might have in a not-too-distant future. She’s used to Master, used to sweet kissing with the barest heat. It’s only natural that she’d wonder if there was more, if there was something that bridged hidden moments behind the roses with what happens between a husband and wife in the privacy of their own bedroom.
And who would know better than him?
“I can tell.” There’s something in him that twists, some perverse urge that makes him say, “After all, you kissed me.”
Her mouth pulls flat. “That’s not why.”
He lifts a brow. “Isn’t it?”
“No!” Her chest is flushed now, the tips of her ears too. “I only – it was --”
“It’s all right, Miss,” he assures her, forcing the grin on his face, the playfulness as he presses a hand to his chest. “I know my effect on women. Must be hard to be around me, when I light girls up like a --”
“Stop. Please. It’s not --” her breath rasps out of her chest, painful – “I kissed you because I wanted to.”
It’s so silent, without his heart beating. “Well, Miss, I’m sure everything seems like a good idea in the moment --”
“No.” She’s firm now, close. Her hand brushes over his on the rail. “I’ve…wanted to kiss you for a while.”
“O-oh.”
“It’s just easier to be brave behind a mask.” Her gaze slips off him, and his heart picks up it steady beat. He can see the shape of things now; the curiosity, followed by regret, followed by guilt.
“I guess you’ve sated your curiosity now,” he remarks, light. “Since you haven’t tried again.”
“I was…I was confused.”
He nods, letting his gaze slip over the balcony, trying to settle somewhere safer for his heart. “I’m sure.”
“Obi --”
“I’m glad that we’re past it now,” he says, each word stabbing into him. “Now you know exactly who you want to --”
Her hands cradle his face, dragging it back to her, and –
And it’s very hard to think about anything with her mouth on him like this.
She pulls back, just the barest moment to rub her nose against his, to take a steeling breath as her forehead rests against his --
And then she is on him again, tongue dragging over his bottom lip, pleading with him to open to her. He twists, burying his hands in the silk of her hair, lips parting so that she can lick at the roof of his mouth, so she can take him apart slowly with the slow slide of their mouths and tongues.
“No,” she breathes when he pulls back, needing air. “I…I wasn’t sure you’d want to kiss me again. After all, you light girls up like a --”
He groans against her lips. “Don’t.”
Her mouth curls against his, and he expects her to tease, to make him regret every word he’s ever said about other girls --
“I wanted to kiss you again, so badly. I just didn’t know if you’d even thought of me like that before, or if...” She hesitates, pulling back, staring at where her hands clutch his coat. “Of if you were just...seizing a moment.”
His heart beats frantically against her knuckles, but he doesn’t try to slow it, not this time.
“Maybe” he sighs, guiding her back to him. “Maybe you haven’t been the only one wondering about that.”
It’s the silence that unsettles her.
Even in the halls, the din of the party had chased their heels, had echoed off the walls around them. Haki had laughed, almost tripping over the hem of her skirts, and His Majesty had righted her, had given her a smile so soft she thought back to a sea of masks, to the quiet darkness they had one stood.
Now the doors are closed, only their own breaths to keep them company, and –
And Haki doesn’t know what to do, not with a man standing in his small clothes, looking the way His –
Her husband. The way her husband does.
He’s all lean muscle, the candlelight clinging closer to him than a lover, casting the planes of him in scintillating chiaroscuro. His skin is gilded in this light, makes him look darker than the linen at his waist. She knows that to be a lie, that even with her Lyrias-pale skin, he is paler still; if he would come close enough, she would be able to trace the lacework of his veins, be able to see the blue blood of House Wisteria run just beneath the surface.
The mattress dips beside her, and she realizes – he is coming to bed. Her husband is coming to lay with her.
Her heart races, as if it’s trying to escape her ribs, as if it’s trying to fly from the room. There’s a part of her that wants to follow it, that wants to find a quiet place to hide until this is all over, until she doesn’t have to pretend to be this woman anymore. Until she isn’t expected to be a wife.
But there is another part whose fingers itch, whose mouth tingles in anticipation, and –
And she stays.
Her husband does not join her beneath the covers, but he does slip closer to her, her side aligning along his front.
“Perhaps you have not been informed, Your Majesty,” she drawls, breathless, “but it isn’t possible to take my maidenhead through a sheet.”
A grin curls at the edges of his mouth, soft and sly, and she thinks of other nights, of getting pulled into alcoves and hot mouths, of wandering hands and fervent promises.
“I think you might be surprised, my lady,” he murmurs, his long fingers trailing down her cheek, brushing through the loose stands of her hair. “And we have all night. You’re trembling like a leaf.”
She flushes. She’d hoped he wouldn’t notice. “From anticipation, Your Majesty.”
“Ah,” he laughs, breath huffing across her lips. “No. Not yet.”
This is not like their other kisses, hot and heavy and breathless, stolen moments in the shadows; no, this is slow, exploratory, in the full light of his bedchamber. He is taking his time, savoring her, and it leaves her squirming beside him, unable to quell the ache between her thighs. She braces a hand against his chest and nearly moans at the strength she finds there, at the power coiled in his body, at how much she wants him to use that on her.
He pulls away, every line of his face smug, self-satisfied. She nearly snips at him for it, except that she feels his hardness knock against her hip, and –
And she is not the only one affected. She is not the only one who is looking forward to him joining her beneath these sheets.
“I am glad to see you’re making the best of a choice you didn’t get to make, husband,” she tells him, trying to slow her heart as he bends back in, placing a delicate kiss behind her ear.
His body jerks, stilling next to her. She’s afraid she’s said something wrong, but then he pulls back, staring down at her with a fire in his eyes that leaves her breathless.
“Is that what you think?” he murmurs, cupping her cheek, thumb brushing her bottom lip. “That I am making the best of a girl chosen for me?”
“Kings do not marry for love.” Her father had reminded her of that often enough. “They don’t have the luxury.”
His mouth crooks, amused. “My mother and father had a marriage like that. Arranged. The best for Clarines.”
“For Wilant, too.”
“Yes.” He’s distracted now, fires banked. “And it did not end well. For anyone.”
His gaze slides back to her, tracing the curve of her lips, the column of her throat, and she rubs her legs together to try to quell the ache. He needs to touch her, more than just a hand along her cheek.
He agrees, hand trailing down, alongside her breast and over her hip, until it hooks under the apex of her thigh, turning her toward him.
“I chose you,” he admits, breathless against her lips.
“Liar,” she moans when he moves his mouth to her neck, leaving hot kisses along her pulse. “The council --”
“Gave me a list.” His teeth nip mercilessly at her skin. “And you were on it.”
“We met once,” she reminds him. “And it was a disaster.”
“I wanted you.” He stills against her, just for a moment; his body writhes, but less in ecstasy and more in -- embarrassment. “More, after all that.”
Haki twists, just enough to see where he’s buried himself in her shoulder. “I did all but scold you.”
“You told a boy pretending to be a man that he was a child still,” he says, so softly, almost reverent. “And you looked glorious.”
There is not enough air in the room, not when he sounds like that. “And then I ended up on a list?”
“You did.” He abandons her neck, licking and nipping down over her clavicle, bringing his mouth to the slope of her breast -- “And I am not so selfless a man to not take what I want when it’s offered.”
His lips close hotly around her breast, sucking through the sheet --
“Then get under these covers and take it,” she moans, kicking them off. “I’m burning.”
He grins against her skin. “As my lady wishes.”
The straggling revelers stumble towards the halls, dresses falling off shoulders and cravats given up as lost. The servants are quick to fill the empty ballroom, sweeping in to move chairs and abandoned glasses from the edges of the room. The night is nearly over, and Zen lets himself take a full breath. Finally, time to himself.
It’s Shirayuki who fills his mind now, red playing behind his eyelids as he lets his heart calm. He hasn’t seen her all night –
He hasn’t seen her all week, really. He’d been at the gate when she arrived – the only nice part of being on greeter duty for their esteemed guests – but the parties and plans for the wedding had occupied him otherwise. He’d tried to invite her to dinner, or lunch, until he’d have to cancel each time, drafted into yet another politically important meal over five courses.
She’s been on his mind all week, but he’d hardly noticed that he hasn’t seen her. And that’s…that’s…
It’s fine. Good even. Four years of separation had done them good, had made the urgency of their love into something gentler, more abiding. He doesn’t need to see her to love her.
…But he should, at some point, now that she’s here. He wants to see her, after all, and he’d like to know she wants to see him –
A loud sniff echoes in the arcade. It’s unmissable in the silence of the night, and Zen’s steps halt, trying to locate the noise.
It’s a sob now, desperately muffled. He whirls, stalking toward a pillar.
“Kihal,” he yelps, suddenly wishing his heart was not so soft, his ideals not so chivalrous. The thought dries up when he sees the puffiness around her eyes, the red tracks down her cheeks. “You’re crying!”
“I’m not!” she snaps, lip quivering as she spins away from him. “I’m – I’m taking in the night. It’s lovely!”
Another woman he might believe overcome with the beauty of nature, but not Kihal.
“Was someone rude to you?” he demands, mind running through the list of guests, trying to divine who would possibly say something so terrible as to send the councilor of Yuris crying behind a pillar. She shies away, and he grips her wrist, makes her looks at him. “Did someone – did someone do something rude--?”
“I’m fine!” she yelps, jerking her wrist out of his grasp. “I can handle myself, thank you very much. Just…leave it alone.”
“If someone’s upset you --”
“You can’t fix it!” Her hands are bent into a stiff claws, like she’d rake him if he got closer. “You can’t just – prince everything away!”
“I’m not trying to – to do that!” he protests, feeling his face flush. “There’s no reason for anyone to be allowed to disrespect a friend of mine in my --”
“It’s your brother’s castle,” she reminds him, pedantically.
He scowls at her. “In my home. I know you can handle yourself, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to let them know how I felt about it, too.”
Kihal sighs, half the fight seeping out of her. “Why do you have to be like this?”
“Like what?” There’s a list of things she expounds on, on the regular. Idealistic. Privileged. Oblivious.
“Good.” She shakes her head. “You can’t fix this because it’s you.”
“Me?” He blinks. “But I –”
“I wasn’t expecting anyone else,” she blurts out, “I knew it was you. When we kissed.”
“Me?” He stares. “But – why? How?”
“We just – we work closely together, and you’re…you.” Her hands twist anxiously above her skirts. “It’s not – it’s not something big. I just – you kissed me, and I thought – it was nice, and I --”
She waves her hands, trying to ward him off, even though he hasn’t moved from the spot. “Just, never mind. Good night!”
“Kihal --”
“No!” She shakes her head, stepping further from him. “It’s not – you’re not at fault here, Zen. I should have known it wasn’t for me.”
There’s something in how she says it, so sad, so hopeless, and it – it’s only that Kihal is not that, she’s fighting spirit and grit, she gets knocked down seven times and gets up eight, and – and –
He’s done that to her, made her think that she – that he couldn’t –
He moves without thinking, three steps to catch her and a tug to bring her back. She stares up with wide, wary eyes, one hand braced on his chest, their height nearly even, her mouth so close to his –
And it’s nothing to close the gap, to take one hand and bury it in the weave of her chignon, to turn his head and deepen the kiss when she gasps. Her hand clutch at his tunic, then at his hair, and when his back hits the pillar his knees go weak.
Air becomes a necessity, and they pull back, eyes searching and –
And he does not feel nothing. He feels – quite a lot.
This is…complicated.
He pulls her back.
#obiyuki#hakizana#kizen#akagami no shirayukihime#my fic#ans#a little nsfw-ish at the end of the last scene#i feel like i should be clear that there's a very large disparity between what zen and shirayuki are thinking#he's been taking their sporadic contact as just...things remaining stable#and she's been taking it as disinterest#and this most recent lack of contact in Wistal as a confirmation of rejection#since I'm not doing Shirayuki POV in this yet i haven't been able to make it clear#but she thinks they're friends#while Zen thinks they're sort of...where they always are#but also with a tinge of...but are we?
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I love star wars and this post WILL contain many spoilers to the sagas. I’ll try my best to limit them but many will have to be discussed. As they pertain to The Last Jedi. I apologize now, if you wish to avoid them- dip now. It will be a trap :D
those who know me would probably say I breathe star wars more than air sometimes...well in times that I go off about it, they probably think if star wars was not to exist I’d simply blink out...maybe let’s not find out please.
However with the new sequels a LOT of my friends had, to my surprise, kept on me about wanting to talk about the Last Jedi. I hadn’t seen it by the time they all had due to different reasons so they all were desperately saying how badly they wanted me to see it. They “needed to talk about it with me” some said, others simply were hella curious with my “love for the series, how did it hold up in MY point of view”
This is a new feeling, being the token star wars fan in my group is normal but this idea of my love for it being something that meant friends who normally aren’t into it or would just LET me talk about it then move on was now replaced with “Hey...TALK ABOUT IT WITH US”
Mind you...this post is like scratching the sruface so it’s not gonna encompass allll my thoughts, that’d take WAY WAY too long so yeah.... strap in I’m calculating the jump to “holy fuck JM is a nerd”
I say this- all of this is over the time of me watching all that I can about star wars, reading all the material I’ve read and accepting the OLD CANON is gone, it’s legends now. The NEW CANON is what it is, I love both equally and accept that Legends is that- LEGEND, what gets recycled will be, the rest...well won’t be.
Alrighty so- I remember being 16 or 17 and hearing that Lucas viewed the OT and Prequels as Poetry, he wanted there to be Rhyme scheme in the movies, which you can see in this video (this one includes new trilogy and Rogue one)
youtube
see, when I learned that, I wasn’t smart as I am now in terms of writing/story telling. I was just some high schooler who wanted to write something LIKE STAR WARS and be able to create that feeling that Lucas gave me everytime I saw those opening crawls, heard a lightsaber ignite, the sound of an X-wing opening it’s s-foils, hearing Luke say “I’m a Jedi, like my father before me.” etc
Now that I’m older, have experience more in writing, experience in critiquing and not simply LOVING for the sake of loving without having a critical eye I see where flaws are in the movies. Every story has flaws. DEAL WITH IT. What I started to see what this poetry finally. I mean this in a different way than people might expect me to mean. I finally understood why certain scenes were shot the way they were, it wasn’t “oh hey that looks familiar, its a coincidence.” no it was intentional. It was meant as a callback/throwback/etc, it’s done to inspire this feeling of “Hey, in a galaxy far away- didn’t something like this happen?” it evokes the feeling that whatever scene it reminds you of evoked.
When Luke loses his hand, you feel the same feeling as when Anakin loses part of his arm. When you see Star Killer base for the first time, it’s meant to draw the same momentary feeling you got when you FIRST see the death star. Not a “oh another super weapon” but “oh. My. Gods...that is huge.” cause remember the preivew for Rogue One? The star destroyer coming out of the shadow of the Death Star, that looked big as a ship right? Then the camera pans out and you see the dish being installed and then see the SAME STAR DESTROYER LOOKING TINY...the scale was done perfectly. It created a reaction in us. A feeling of being small, insignificant next to that technological terror, right?
Now discussing why I loved Episode 8 (even with it’s flaws) I draw heavily on this poetry in star wars.
Star wars is supposed to be poetic, each stanza (trilogy) mirroring but differing from the one before it. (the following three things will be generalized and brief but I’ll expand as Igo, don’t worry.)
Prequels- a gilded age, corruption abound, Jedi in their prime, undermined by a single Sith who was RIGHT THERE, heavy tech vs nature esque war (clones of biologically human vs droids) and the fall of a young man who was given too much responsibility too young and in his attempt to save those he loved, destroyed all he had thought he'd love in his childhood due to seeing that the Jedi (his heroes) were not really what he imagined they'd be (he saw holy warriors of GOODNESS) only to find, closed minded arrogant corupt and well frankly inept council of monks who turn on their own code when it meant "destroying the sith"
Original Trilogy- gritty war for good vs evil, the evil so...sterile, white and male vs a rag tag/dirty femine lead rebellion, technological terror's vs natural force powers, a father being redeemed by his son who refused to only see the bad like others did, and that bringing of balance. Anakin had destroyed the Jedi Order in his original fall, leaving only Two Jedi (Yoda/Obi wan) and when they died it left 2 sith vs Luke, and in the end to save Luke- he destroyed the last two Sith- Palpatine and himself- allowing only balance. Luke someone who was neither Jedi/Sith, he was...a Jedi LIKE his father who sought balance
New Trilogy- complacency has lead to not only corruption again but the return of said sterile white male dominated evil threatening the peace of a more nurturing New Republic, the heroes of old brittle and fallen from grace due to the weight of what they did in their past being HEAVY and the new gen "meeting their heroes" only to realize, heroes are simply people that made hard choices and do the right thing, making them now heroes to many to come
notice how some things from the prequels made it to the OT? The New trilogy? And some things in the OT happened also in the first and third trilogies? There is not an ABAB rhyme scheme, its more free verse but there is still a scheme in there. It happens subtly and in ways that flow naturally (Even if they are intentionally constructed rhymes)
Now we come to the “villains” each trilogy gave us, let’s see the rhymes there.
Prequels-
Darth Maul-
the Rage, the unbridled hatred for the Jedi. His arrival signified the Jedi’s flawed sight. His combat with Qui Gon and Obi Wan challenged many things, it challenged the viewers in light of “we didn’t know bad Jedi could do this?! (he was the first to carry a double sided saber) he was so acrobatic, he was young he was GOOD with a saber. He made TWO JEDI work their hardest to beat, and only lost after that LONG drawn out conflict. Notice also how he existed. He WAS the Phantom (A sith assassin) HE WAS the menace (he was harassing Qui Gon on Tattooine, then again on Naboo.) Maul also was the indicative of what the Jedi feared most. The return of the Sith. It meant there was one more in the universe. The Rule of Two is introduced. One Master. One Apprentice.
Darth Sidious/Palpatine-
The chess master, the villain in plain sight, the father figure to our hero, the man who if you forget is the villain, sometimes would be believable as a good guy. Guys I grew up with the OT from my earliest memories. I knew it was “Emperor Palpatine” but I also remember in 99, 2001 and 2003 until the scenes happened obviously that Senator/Chancellor Palpatine was NOT the Emperor. I could not connect it because Prequel Palpatine (until scenes happen) WAS A GOOD GUY, he wanted to bring peace and prosperity to the REPUBLIC. HE LOVED DEMOCRACY. Like Obi Wan says in Ep 3 to Padme “we were tricked by a lie. A lie by the sith, a lie that convinced us that our enemy was not right where we were.” Palpatine IS A VILLAIN because he convinces you he didn’t exist. He was the devil who tricked humanity into thinking wasn’t real. But you knew he was...but couldn’t prove.
Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus-
Political villain. He wasn’t bad for evil’s sake (he didn’t have sith eyes like Maul/Sidious) he was a man who was broken by the flaws in the Jedi Council. He lost his padawan (Qui Gon) and that mourning turned into bitter resentment, he saw through the problems the Jedi Order ignored in themselves, found a teacher in Sidious who promised to give him the chance to wipe the slate clean. His political villainy come from good intentions paving the way to hell.
General Grevious-
The Proxy villain. He is literally there to take the heat. He isn’t “human” he is more machine than living creature. He hates the Jedi and you can see that he is a proto vader of sorts. His breathing is broken, his lacking in “organic traits” and hatred for everything is rhyming in Vader’s soon to come, but it rhymes in a foreboding way. Especially when Anakin says to him “General Grevious, you’re shorter than I expected” he wasn’t meant to be taken lightly but yet we take him lightly because we ALL know (even those who watch the prequels first) that something DARKER does exist. Grevious- though scary and not someone you wanna fight one on one, you know isn’t the worst monster in the galaxy. He’s just an angry bitter cyborg who steals lightsbaers. He’ll get what he deserves soon enough, the monster will be slain by the brave knight.
ORIGINAL TRILOGY VILLAIN
Darth FREAKING Vader-
Ok like guys
you need to understand. As before stated, when I was a wee little JM, I would spend A LOT (like I’m guessing daily) watching star wars as early as Kindergarten, imagine for a moment a tiny little JM cross legged on his bed, bouncing as the opening crawl comes, begging his mom to READ the crawl for him (every time cause dammit mom does it best) then stay when scenes had subtitles (Mostly Return of the Jedi but still) Star Wars to me...was like the story of knights or cowboys to other kids. Luke Skywalker was my goals, Han solo was the guy I hoped I could be cool as, and Leia was like AMAZING in terms of “hey girls are as cool if not cooler than guys!”
BUT VADER, Darth Vader’s first appearance to me was terrifying. We had just watched these humans all nervously watch a door, hearing these weird, alien, mechanical sounds creaking over their ship, the tension SO REAL to everyone, something bad is going to happen. Not because of a war but something else is going to come down on them. Those sounds are a clue, something not human is coming for them. THEN THE EXPLOSION AND GUN FIGHT HAPPENS! Soldiers are fighting, Storm troopers pushing in and taking out Rebels. Rebel soldiers running, screaming, trying to fight back, it’s assured that if you were in that hall you weren’t going home. BUT as a kid I BELIEVED they had a chance! They had to, they were the good guys, no bad guy could overwhelm the underdog….unitl BUM BUH DUM… imitates Vader’s breathing THAT MAN WALKED IN...he wasn’t a man though. He was a force, of evil, his breathing was labored but somehow terrifying, his face was a metal mask that inspired the look of something from nightmares, his cape billowed like smoke out of the darkest places, and his movements were deliberate, his actions cold and harsh. HE LOOKED OFFENDED that some of his storm troopers died on the floor. Like their death was an INSULT to his very existence, what would he do to his enemies when he found them?
This villain was one you FEARED, but not only that but when you learn from Obi Wan that he killed Luke’s father, you hate him. You want Luke or Obi Wan to beat him. You want this villain to suffer for what he did, he hunted down Jedi. He killed Luke’s father, he helped the Empire become what it is now. Vader became a target for your hate because that is what Vader IS. Darth Vader is hate incarnate. You learn in the Expanded universe (canon and legends) that Vader hates everything. But one thing more than others. HIMSELF. He hates who he was. What he is. What he has done. What he will do. Vader is walking hatred and that carries him, that sustains him. That is why he survived what created him. Hatred. We are meant to hate that. Because it makes for things later to be as powerful as they are. The twist reveals. The possibility of redemption. Everything HINGES on our hatred, fear and disgust with him.
Now if you’ll notice I’ve spent A LOT of time explaining Vader’s type of villain. Want to know why? Because like Vader, Star wars is very good at rhyming things. Notice though (cause its a carry over from Prequel to OT) Palpatine is not listed twice, he didn’t need to be. He is the same villain in both trilogies, he is the core theme rhymed. The anti-thesis to the goodness trying to combat evil in Stanzas 1 and 2. He is the core threat that both trilogies face and succumb to then revive to defeat.
Palpatine caused the corruption in Stanza 1, Palpatine orchestrated the political villain’s birth by unleashing the rage villain onto Qui Gon/Obi Wan. Palpatine is the force that pushes things from A to B he doesn’t need much depth in terms of rhyming him. Nothing CAN rhyme him. Like no villain before or after can Rhyme Vader truly. Only build up to him or try to recreate him….which means we walk cautiously into the 30 year gap that is the New Trilgoy.
30 years after Vader’s redemption, Palpatine’s death, Luke’s successful battle against the sith, the Empire’s fall...we meet our New Villains.
The First Order.
New Trilogy
Supreme Leader Snoke-
A villain we wanted to be more, we want him to be something that he isn’t because well we had been spoiled by previous villains. WE, those who lived through both previous trilogies, have gone through the rodeo before. We know there are TRUE villains out there, we have seen the DARKEST that the Sith could throw at us. However with Snoke we tilted our head and were curious. Was he better than Palpatine? Was Sidious NOT the worst out there? It seemed possible. He had his Knights of Ren, the First Order/Remnants of the Old Empire at his disposal. More than that- he had groomed his apprentice. Kylo Ren. Notice this isn’t a DARTH (the official title of each Sith Lord) This villain obviously harolded from the dark side, he wished to hunt and slay all the new Jedi Luke had groomed, yet he wasn’t a Sith...so what. Was. He?
We learned...exactly what we learned. Snoke was Snoke. His fate, his character, everything. WE LEARNED it in Last Jedi. I am not saying we wont get more from the EU (books/tv series/games/etc) but the movie gave us what was relevant to the trilogy/the movie poetry. Snoke was rhyming Sidious in one way- the schemer. He truly thought he had planned it all, he felt confident in his victory that he savored it while it hadn’t fully ripened. Picture if you could the scenes from Guardians of the Galaxy 2, the three scenes involving Nebula and that fruit she wanted to eat.
It wasn’t ripe the first time- Star Killer Base
It wasn’t ripe the second time- Kylo got his ASS KICKED by Rey
It wasn’t ripe the third time- he presumed to know how Kylo would remain his servant always. Right up til he was skewered because of his arrogance. His plan wasn’t ripe, yet he bit into it to enjoy it’s predicted sweet victory taste.
Snoke is the villain who in his time believed that being only on his home stretch mile, could gloat that he run the race. He is the Hare teasing the tortoise. He is the cheater who tips his hand right before the other player reveals the royal flush they’re not holding and bluffing their way to hopeful victory.
Now. Kylo/Ben.
Ok. This is going to be a test for me cause honestly I had hopes for Ben/Kylo yes you’re getting both names here there is a reason
When The Force Awakens FIRST preview dropped and we saw Kylo spinning his saber towards Finn. I had one hope. ONE HOPE. This was that Kylo was a double agent. I hoped that Kylo being Han and Leia’s son (we knew before going in cause it was revealed) was tricking Snoke, playing the dark side user into believing he DID win Ben over. He fooled the evil master mind with Luke’s help. Faking the destruction of the Jedi Temple, his Knights of Ren undercover with him, a strike team sent in to infiltrate the First Order from within, giving Snoke his Kylo Ren as a Trojan horse. I NEEDED THIS. I needed to see that Luke was able to craft a team similar to the one who saved Han in Jedi.
Force Awakens Ended and well Kylo isn’t a double….at least not yet. He tried to teach Rey, and he didn’t want to kill Han. At least not in the Force’s eyes. The novelization said so, in killing Han he got weaker, a sith gets STRONGER in that type of event, yet Ben/Kylo weakens. It’s obvious the boy didn’t want to do it. I hoped with this confirmation it was canon that Ben was still in there. Not because I wanted this shitty man to be redeemed. He wasn’t Anakin. He didn’t deserve it. I wanted him to see his failings and CHOOSE to come back. More so I wanted to see that Han’s death was an intentional sacrifice for a greater good. I wanted Han to have given himself to save his son’s remaining spark of good, I NEEDED THAT. I needed to see a father who was primarily absent in his son’s life make that decision as a last ditch effort to assure his son that he knew the good in him was there, that the good in him was going to be what he is. Not the dark, bad, villain we saw in Kylo. It was a personal need.
Fast forward to Last Jedi. Here we go, Ben/Kylo was seen in previews as torn, breaking his mask that he fashioned after his grandfather’s mask. We see hesitation in his attacking of Leia’s ship in his TIE SILENCER, we see a moment of indecision, Kylo was wavering, Ben was surfacing. The scar looking mechanical- rhyming with Anakin and Luke- an injury leaving them with a mechanical healing method. It rhymed. Each Skywalker man now carried an injury that left them inching closer to “more machine than man” in a story that has HEAVILY been “Nature vs Technology”
Kylo/Ben however doesn’t reveal some secret double agent scheme.
No Ben/Kylo in a moment being REAL reveals his memory of events. Luke tried to kill him. He defended himself and made his choice. He saw his uncle willing to kill him for reasons mostly obvious, others probably still unknown to Ben/Kylo. His revelation also shows that he carries grudges from long in the past. He didn’t want to kill Han, but he carried the hatred of his father and mother’s failed relationship with him. We see that Ben chose to be Kylo Ren. It wasn’t Snoke puppeting him. At least not entirely, he used strings to show him what he could be. Ben however cut the strings and picked up the mask, the cape, the mantal and bled the crystal in his saber to make that thing red himself.
To Quote Obi Wan-
I walked out of that movie hearing it over and over because of Kylo’s accusations of Luke failing him and making him what he was. Yes Luke failed BEN. Luke in a moment of humanity, a moment of being an older, experienced, and tired hero...saw a potential threat and in his moment of humanity actually weighed the options of killing the threat of living with it- trying to temper it and extinguish it without succumbing to murder of his beloved nephew. Ben did not care. Ben- like the Jedi and the Sith, only saw in absolute. He saw Luke THINK about it, and decided that Luke made up his mind. Ben chose to be Kylo Ren, he could have stayed and talked to Luke, discussed what happened, reached an understanding and grew as uncle/nephew or teacher/student. No. He chose the quick and easy path, like a true dark sider does.
Ben Solo did die that night. Kylo Ren didn’t kill him though. Kylo Ren took up his face and wore him, as an insult to Luke, Leia and Han. Kylo Ren wore the face of Ben Solo to try and seduce Rey into joining him. Kylo Ren wore Ben Solo’s fractured and conflicted face when he tricked Snoke into believing he was a puppet so when the time came- unlike his grandfather (in his mind) before him, he could seize power. And finish what he started.
Kylo Ren wears Ben Solo’s face the way some Vlad the Impaler left the heads of his enemies on spikes to intimidate and psychologically destroy his enemies. Ben Solo’s visage and memory is used as a weapon by Kylo Ren to wrench Han’s heart and force him on that catwalk, in hopes of bringing his boy home. As a constant reminder of Luke’s moment in humanity as a Jedi in fearing what might come and causing it anyway, and then the following years of doubt, guilt and pain over the possibility of creating the villain that threatened the galaxy, killed his best friend and chased down his twin sister in hopes of slaughtering her and all she stood for. Kylo wore the mask of Ben Solo as a weapon to give Rey this idea of hope to save him and used it so that when it failed, in her moment of grief for her failure, he could seduce and turn her.
Like we saw- Kylo Ren failed. He failed to turn Rey multiple times. Not because oh she’s a good guy, she won’t turn. But because Kylo Ren can’t invoke a sense of loyalty. He wears the face of a boy who is dead. Kylo Ren is the monster under your bed who wears the face of your stuffed animal then rips you under it to eat you. We know you’re not the good guy you pretend to be. Rey didn’t believe he was bad, she knew it was a possibility but she- had hope- Kylo Ren doesn’t understand this.
In Harry Potter, Harry tells Voldermort that because he never knows love/friendship- Harry pities that dark lord. In Star Wars, Kylo Ren doesn’t know loyalty. He doesn’t know compassion.
He knows greed and fear.
He feared the light, he feared the sentiment that Anakin Skywalker held for his son slaying Vader for good. He craved the power Snoke dangled and held. He feared that if he remained like Luke’s Jedi were- he’d never taste what he felt belonged to him by right. He and Hux share this sense of entitlement due to lineage/bloodlines. It’s interesting when viewed from the point of view- he came from EVERYTHING and gave it up for what he thought was better.
The son of a Senator/War hero, a smugler/war general, nephew to the GREAT JEDI LUKE SKYWALKER and THE GRANDSON of the CHOSEN ONE Anakin Skywalker. This was not enough for him.
Rey – coming from nothing didn’t want any of those things. She didn’t care if she was something or anything. She just wanted to know who she was. She was originally a spec of sand on Jakku now she walked with Han Solo- the famous Smuggler (oh and the War General I guess?) she met Princess- Now General LEIA ORGANA, the woman who fought the Empire, who saved Han from Jabba (then slayed him) the woman who never quit. Plus she was to become the student of the mythical, legend- Luke. Fucking Skywalker.
She didn’t even feel worthy but accepted it because as she met each one- she learned they were people. They were not Gods, they were flawed like her, they made mistakes, they made choices they didn’t like, all because at the time, it was the best thing they could do. They were trying, they were hopeful, and they were good people.
Ben Solo knew these things- he was Luke’s heir to the Jedi Order he built. He learned from his Uncle without complaint until the end, he was the son of these two amazing people of the Rebellion. Then he learned of his grandfather’s identity...everything changed. He felt lied to. Which is true, but this is where Kylo Ren tasted life and needed more.
Kylo rhymes a villain from the old EU in my opinion. Well a few.
Darth Scion
Darth Traya
Darth Nilhus
See like Scion- Kylo is fueled by pain. Scion was physical pain, but Kylo is emotional pain. He strives to push himself into the most emotionally conflicted states. Sometimes physical too. He kept hitting his bowcaster wound in TFA, he surrounded himself with the images of his grandfather and sought guidance from his spirit while in his room and when we saw him attacking Leia’s fleet- he couldn’t pull the trigger to hit the bridge killing his mother. Kylo Ren is a dark sider who thrives when conflicted because it fuels his rash decisions and rage over indecisiveness
he reminds me of Darth Traya because of two quotes that remind of Kylo
“It’s such a quiet thing, to fall. But far more terrible is to admit it.” - Kylo was born from darkness growing Ben over time. He fell quietly then when he admitted his fall that night in his cabin with Luke- it was far more terrible than we expected. It was a dark dark night for all involved.
Second quote is -
“Know that there was once a Darth Traya. And that she cast aside that role, was exiled, and found a new purpose. But there must always be a Darth Traya, one that holds the knowledge of betrayal. Who has been betrayed in their heart, and will betray in turn.”
This reminds me because look at Kylo/Ben’s history- he felt betrayed in his life and in turn he simply betrays all those around him that he feels slighted by. He instead of healing and growing from betrayal, simply festers his pain and lashes out in betrayal back.
Darth Nilhus though is simply- both men crave an insatiable craving. Power doesn’t do it, prestige doesn’t satisfy, nothing does, nothing can. A dark dark undefinable hole exist in them both and calls to be filled and attempts to fill it always satiate for a small time before the rage demands more.
Alright so I’ve spent A LOT of time talking about the whole character rhyming and that tangent made this longer than it should be, so now I come to the fact that I started- why I loved Last Jedi.
deep inhale
ok ready?
yeah...Leia said it right- Hope.
That’s it. This movie was one event after another of things destroying your sense of hope.
Poe lost all those pilots/bombers in his plan to destroy the Dreadnought.
Leia was losing hope as each of her ships were being picked off by the Supremacy that tracked them through hyperspace.
Luke had lost all hope before this movie and Rey was losing her hope in turn because of his hopeless state.
Finn and Rose were losing hope in so much
1- Rose lost hope in Finn once she saw him trying to run
2- Finn lost hope in DJ once the shoe dropped.
3- Both lost hope in the plan once it was revealed to be impossible to succeed due to their betrayal
4- Seeing the Ram preparing to destroy their hiding base- Rose lost hope until Finn’s daring thing.
Rey’s hopeful attempt at saving Kylo/Ben, it was looking so good til the last second and that hurt the most, the team up WAS THAT HOPE REVIVED like it sparked a sense of “they’re brutally fighting for their lives like Sith, but elegantly together in everything like Jedi, this is THEM bringing balance, they are saving the Galaxy, Ben Solo is back…..or so we thought.
Like every time our heroes did something it backfired, blew up, failed, or simply didn’t go how they wanted.
But in the end- after all that
we got hope back
1- Rey saves the Resistence with Chewie and escapes Crait.
2- Luke saves them by buying time and giving himself in a LEGENDARY act of challenging the ENTIRE first order by himself and simply brushing it off like it’s no biggie.
3- Kylo FAILS in his first act of Supreme Leader in destroying his enemies and has to live with the fact that it was all his own fault.
Hope was revived in the fact that for all those losses, one after another, we learned something. Yoda said it. Failure is the greatest teacher and teachers can hope for their students to take what is taught and become MORE than their predecessors.
Luke passed on what he learned. He learned from his failings, he learned from Yoda, Obi Wan, etc. He passed it all along with the teachings of the original Jedi to Rey (not even REMOTELY close to all that being intentional) and she is now going to be more than him. As Luke was more than Yoda/Obi Wan (who believed Vader had to die, and Anakin was beyond gone.)
Rey is hope. She is that ray of light in the darkness. Leia knew to trust in her because after everything, Luke reminded her- they’ve survived worse and came back strong. Rey can do that with the next gen.
THE BOY AT THE END is proof. Rose gave him the ring, he is the exploited poor masses personified. He is the fans who see these movies, and hear the morals and see the heroes and emulate them. He is those of us who see the sky at night and dream of doing the right thing. He dreams of being that next legend. He knows he isn’t legendary but, if Luke Skywalker can, why not him? If Leia could? Why can’t his friend?
The boy at the end- force pulling the broom is the message of the Last Jedi.
Luke was the Last Jedi for so long, he passed on what he learned and because of that now, a new Jedi will Rise. Rey, along any and all those she inspires to combat the forces of people like Kylo Ren. The man who could have been what Rey is, but because he walked into a dark shadow and let it engulf him, the strength of the dark he drank from rose to meet him- Rey.
He now commands the First Order, his hate fueling his obsession to claim everything.
Rey- feeling lost has everything she needs- to find those who need her to lead them in resistance and rebel, the spark was ignited to light a fire, that WILL burn the first order down. The fire is Kylo Ren, his anger is going to burn everything around him and leave him alone while Rey is there, leading the triumphant return of justice and good to the Galaxy.
In FF Advent Children, Rufus Shinra makes a comment “If that cycle is the very truth of life, then history, too, will inevitably repeat itself. So go on; bring your Jenova's and your Sephiroth's. It won't matter. We'll do as life dictates and stop you every single time.”
This is star wars
it is history repeating itself. But every time someone does what the force dictates. Raises up, and stops it. EVERY. TIME.
The Force is the rhyme in the universe’s poem here. The force let’s the bad rise, the bad grows, destroying, claiming and leaving ruin in it’s wake. Because the darker the night, the brighter the dawn of the next day, when the sun returns, warmth fills the sky and clears the shadows to bring peace and life back to the galaxy.
This wasn’t alll intentionally drawn by the creators obviously but this is what a STAR WARS lover like me drew. This is the surface of what this movie and all the previous ones did for me.
It- like other mediums, some mentioned in this long essay- inspired hope. Hope that even when the worst nightmare claims me, planting my feet firm and igniting my lightsaber to fight back can be done, but its not the main thing I need to do. My main responsibility in face of despair, terrible things and true evil. Is not fight that which comes in hopes of destroying all that I hate in it. No. My job. My mission is to always remember to protect all that I love so it my flourish when the bad passes.
Star Wars teaches us to ensure that we don’t need to win by wiping out things, we simply need to make sure that which threatens us doesn’t consume that makes us good and turns us as putrid and evil as them.
#jm rambles#star wars thoughts#I don't talk ENOUGH about star wars#but hey here are SOME thoughts#they are nothing special#I seriously probably have given Adrienne SO MUCH STAR WARS talk in the past its ridiculous#I'm like a walking star wars dictionary sometimes#other times I'm a star wars op ed#there is no middle ground >.>#SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS
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