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dollsome-does-tumblr · 8 months

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and now it's time to play that ancient game of mine -- moments in my fanfic scribblings that wound up kinda mirroring canon!!

(this is totally just for my own amusement. don't mind me!)

ofmd 204 & 205 spoilers!

this was my fix-it fic that i wrote in a deranged haze the day after 1.09 & 1.10 aired, and then never posted because there were a few small transition scenes in between all the meaty emotional stuff that i was just too lazy to ever finish up. upon rereading, i actually kinda like it and wish i'd finished it though!!! maybe i will one day, and just post it as a historical relic from march '22.

*****

(Ed and Stede meet at last!)

“What’ve you been up to?”

“You haven’t heard?”

“I’ve heard a bit. But I’d rather hear it from you.”

“Oh, you know. Plundering, pillaging, being the punishment this sorry world deserves. That sort of thing.”

“Very neat. And what’s with the–” Stede gestures awkwardly to his own chin.

Ed touches his kohl-painted face. “Wasn’t going to wait for it to grow back in before I got back out there. I’d wasted enough time.”

“Right, yes.” Stede lets out a wistful, slight laugh. “I was starting to get used to your bare face.”

“Really? That’s not what scared you away?”

“I wasn’t scared away.”

“Oh, so you just decided to abandon me for some other reason. That’s great. It feels great, knowing that. Life’s so much better now than it was ten seconds ago. Wait. Fuck.” Ed stands abruptly, shaking the table. “I swore I wasn’t going to do this. I’m fucking Blackbeard, I’m the kraken, I’m hell on waves, I eat babies for breakfast.”

“Oh, Edward.” Stede stares up at him, aghast. “Please tell me you haven’t had a breakfast baby.”

“Obviously I didn’t really,” Ed says impatiently. “It’s just an alliteration thing. It’s the vibes.”

Stede puts a hand to his heart and exhales. “Thank God.”

(okay, with this one i mostly just wanted the breakfast baby joke to finally see the light of day. but there's a slight overlap!)

*****

(Ed and Stede make up very quickly, and then try to make the crew feel cool about that!)

“Hey, Blackbeard.”

“Hey, Black Pete.”

“Oh, it’s just Pete now.”

“Cool, cool. I guess it’s just Ed now, too.”

“Welcome back, Ed. If I could just, uh, say one thing?”

“Sure, mate, what’s up?”

“VENGEANCE!!!” Pete screams, and pushes Ed overboard.

The crew bursts into cheers.

Stede can’t really fault them, all things considered.

“That was just a bit of vengeance for you, babe,” Pete tells Lucius.

“Thanks, babe.”

*****

Once a sopping-wet Ed’s been recovered, there’s the general consensus from all non-Stede crew members that he’s going in the brig.

“We’re really happy for you, Captain,” says Frenchie, “but he’s been a menace.”

“Obviously acting out of deep-rooted pain and some unprocessed childhood trauma,” says Lucius magnanimously. “But all the same, he’s been a massive bitch.”

“I think everyone should get a turn punching him in the face,” says Jim.

“Nobody’s punching anybody!” Stede says, in his clipped captain’s orders! tone. “But you’re right. I’m sorry, Ed; the people have spoken, and the brig it is.”

“No, I get it.” Ed holds up his hands in surrender. “Super fair. And hey, Jim, you can go ahead and punch me if you like.”

“They won’t punch you, they’ve just got hurt feelings–”

Stede is cut off by Jim punching Ed right in the stomach.

Wow. They really don’t waste any time.

“Sucker punch,” breathes Ed through what must be a dizzying amount of pain. “See, I was expecting the face, ‘cause you said the face–”

“Surprise,” says Jim.

****

and this is from a fic i actually posted! [x]

Stede decides to risk getting shot, and puts a hand on his arm. They stand still together. “I wish I’d gotten it right the first time. But this, right now, it’s the next best thing we’ve got. I’ll keep fighting if you want to fight, and I’m pretty sure my crew and I will win our ship back from you and your sorry lot within the week–”

“Pfft.”

“--but while we’re fighting, Ed, just know that I lo–”

But before he can say the words, Ed interrupts. “Nope. Don’t.”

“But I–”

“No.” Ed meets his eyes. “I mean it, mate.”

Stede listens. He lifts his hand from Ed’s arm. “That’s all right. You must know what I mean, if you don’t want me to say it that badly.”

“Of course I want you to say it,” Ed mutters. “That’s the problem.”

“Ah, right. Terrible.”

#dollsome's deep thoughts #i feel like this shouldn't go in the tags #but i don't know how to avoid things going in the tags anymore!#how many tags do you tag #before you reach a point #where the tags #won't show up in the tags #and it's just something #that's tagged on your blog #so you can help people avoid spoilers #if they're looking to do so?#is it twenty?#is it seriously twenty tags?#because that's too many tags!#i'm just going to keep typing things in hope though #la la la la la la #just trying to make my tags not show up in the tags!#blah blah blah blahhhhhhhh!#la dee dee dee deeeeee!#whatever blah blah blahhhhhhhh #la la la la la la la laaaaa #won't it be embarrassing if this doesn't even work #oh well let's give it a shot!#ofmd spoilers #our flag means death

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