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rkxsungwoon-blog · 5 years

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☆ MGA5 EPISODE FOUR; JULY 18 #5008 HA SUNGWOON ; interview

for the first time since he entered the competition, sungwoon faces the post performance interview with apprehension. his unease is apparent from the moment his name is called, and even the staff remark on his subdued attitude as they fix up his makeup. the smile on his face is fake, more for their sake than his own. “i’m fine,” he says cheerfully. “just… indigestion.” no one questions him too closely, and he keeps the painfully insincere grin in place as he enters the interview room and greets the interviewer.

he has no real strategy for how to approach this, no idea what she’s going to hit him with this week. no idea how he’s going to answer, either, but a manic voice in sungwoon’s head tells him that he has nothing else to lose—so go with honesty for once in his goddamn life.

what were your thoughts on last week’s results? one of your band members, minhyun, was eliminated from the competition, wasn’t he?

of course they would begin with this. a familiar formula, yet he blinks, taken aback. perhaps because his mind isn’t fully present, and he has to work to pull his thoughts away from the churning guilt and mortification ever present in his mind. “the eliminations came as a shock,” sungwoon says plainly. “the top three were expected—mason, sia, and suwoong have all proved themselves already, and i think their partners definitely benefited from being paired up with them.” mason carried his duo in particular in sungwoon’s opinion, but he thinks that much is obvious. “so yeah, no surprises there. the eliminations were a different beast, though. i thought jinyoung and jeonghan should’ve been in the top three.” objectively, their performance was one of the best in his eyes. “yuqi and minhyun should’ve been safe too, but i guess my sixth sense failed me last round.”

he looks down at his hands, then back up with a distracted smile. “the shot at redemption… i’m not sure how to feel about that twist, but like everyone else, i’m eager to see who survives.”

are you hoping minhyun will return?

“i am.” he nods once, thinking that it would be poetic justice if minhyun returns just as sungwoon leaves, but the thought of empty enigma on the show without him hurts and he abandons it altogether. “of course i’d like to see him advance; he’s a talented performer and he deserves to be here. he’s versatile, he’s handsome, and he has a great personality. also, he recycles. isn’t he perfect?”

is it fair to say minhyun deserves to be here when some people question your band’s intentions in this competition?

his lips press into a thin line. “you’re talking about what eric said, right?” the interviewer nods, and sungwoon shrugs. “isn’t that a question for daniel? he’s the one who got called out.”

but the rest of your band was included in their comments as well.

“‘the band guys,’” sungwoon says, enveloping the phrase in air quotes before letting his arms fall to the sides. “you know, i’m kind of getting tired of it.” he hears the same sort of thing in interviews week after week. reads the same sort of thing online with netizens commenting on ‘daniel and the band’ like they’re one single entity. and god, it isn’t daniel’s fault that mnet seems to have made him the face of empty enigma. sungwoon doesn’t blame him for it—daniel deserves the attention and recognition he’s getting. but it is exhausting to feel like his contributions don’t matter. like he doesn’t matter. “it’s understandable to question our intentions, but i believe it’s disrespectful to pretend we’re not working as hard as anyone else here. we’ve earned our place through our own talents.”

his voice is even, controlled, the expression on his face mild. sungwoon doesn’t say that eric’s words have made him question what he’s doing here—because he’s not entirely wrong. they do want to promote the band, but he doesn’t understand why taking pride in their accomplishments is coded as a terrible thing. after all, people can have more than one goal. sungwoon doesn’t confess that the first thing he did when he arrived in seoul was audition to be an idol. he doesn’t point out that last year, he participated in the mgas without revealing his band, for all intents and purposes a genuine idol hopeful. he doesn’t admit that he wants to be here, even if eric is right and he’s taking a chance away from someone else.

(someone like minhyun).

sungwoon is a practiced enough liar that he doesn’t let any cracks show. “i can’t speak for everyone else’s intentions, but i know we all have our own reasons for being here beyond just promoting the band. we’re not a hive-mind or a homogeneous blob, even though people talk about us like we are. we’re individuals with our own goals and desires outside of our band too.” he plays with his frayed cuffs, picking at an errant thread as he speaks. “i mean, most of us have been pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones and performing in ways we never would in a band. we wouldn’t do that if we weren’t taking this seriously.”

he takes a deep breath, his smile turning sardonic as he leans forward. “and i want to say—if i have the decency to learn the names of everyone in the competition, i think others should make an effort too.” sungwoon holds up a hand and counts down. “sungwoon. woojin. kenta. minhyun. we’re not just ‘the guys’ or ‘the others’ or ‘daniel’s band.’ use our names next time you want to talk about us.”

moving on, you were paired with eunji this week. how was it like working with her?

his smile is a little more sincere at the mention of eunji. “she’s talented. seriously talented. we already knew each other prior to the competition—we’re neighbors—and working with her was both fun and easy.” he wants to laugh as the memory of their grease failures come to mind. “we were originally going to do grease’s summer lovin’, but we couldn’t keep a straight face while singing.” chuckling slightly, sungwoon runs a hand through his hair. “i don’t know why though; i think i could be a good danny zuko?” sungwoon gives the camera a winning smile before turning back to the interviewer. “really, it was great. rehearsal was never dull, and i think we sound really good together too. i’m so glad we were paired together.”

how do you think your performance went?

sungwoon fights to keep his expression neutral. how do you think it went? he wants to ask, but refrains. humiliation still burns under his skin, but the anger at himself, at the whole situation, has faded. instead he’s caught somewhere between resignation and guilt for what this could do to eunji. maybe if he doesn’t discuss their mistake, the interviewer won’t press for details. with that in mind, he decides to stick to the positives.

“i haven’t sung many showtunes before; i’m not familiar with musicals in general,” he admits. “but i wanted to challenge myself to try something new. i don’t know when else i’ll get the chance to experiment with different styles of music like this again.” his face falls a bit, but he fights to pull it back up. “eunji’s a phenomenal singer, so singing with her wasn’t hard either. it felt very natural to sell the whole story of the song.” he laughs and rubs his nose. “i mean, it’s not hard to pretend you’re falling in love with eunji, so i think we captured the essence of the number.”

you made a mistake, though. what went wrong?

he visibly deflates. bold of him to think mnet would let him pass without addressing this in some fashion. arms falling to his sides (flailing, despite his best efforts), sungwoon sucks in a deep breath. “we went over the time limit. unfortunately, we didn’t realize we’d been practicing with the wrong backing track all well.” lifting his head, he adds, “i’m not trying to make excuses for us. i understand that it’s extremely unprofessional to make a mistake like that. i’m disappointed in myself for not catching it sooner. i’m disappointed that all people are going to remember of our stage in the future is our flub. that’s not the impression i want to leave people with.”

another deep breath. he grips the edge of his seat. “none of this is eunji’s fault. i hope my mistake doesn’t reflect badly on her because she’s an amazing performer. even if we get eliminated, i want people to know that—she’s worth supporting till the end.”

is there anyone you are certain will move onto the next phase of the mgas?

sungwoon takes a moment to gather himself before responding. “suwoong and kyulkyung. suwoong impressed me; he showed a completely different side of himself, and he and kyulkyung compliment each other really well. their performance was… electric and intimate. i genuinely think they deserve to win today.” he’d been critical of whether suwoong was taking this competition seriously in one of the earlier rounds, but he can feel his sincerity now. “i also hope yukhei and woojin go through; i thought their performance was fun and they balance each other out well.”

is there anyone you are certain will be eliminated today?

“us.” this is the first time sungwoon has ever answered the question. “if the judges hold us to our mistake,” here he pauses and gives the interviewer a self-deprecating smile, “and i think they should, it’ll be us.” joohyun’s elimination hurt, but sungwoon understood it. he’d understand them being sent home as well. turning to face the camera, sungwoon stands and bows before saying, “i’m sorry, eunji.” sungwoon can’t bring himself to say more, his throat suddenly dry.

the interviewer seems to sense as much and thanks him for his time. sungwoon bids her farewell and returns to his seat. he’s oddly tired, but the full weight of today hasn’t crashed into him yet. he suspects he’ll feel worse after the eliminations, but for now, sungwoon looks down at his feet and waits.

#rkmga5 #rkmga5duos2 #( c: solo )#( wc: 1694 )#( +2 chr )#( will tag people later i'm so tired )#( as always if i mentioned you and you'd like me to edit/remove it please lmk! )

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