no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.

too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.

2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?

but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.

as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.

which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.

the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.

so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.

and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.

but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.

people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".

but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.

but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.

a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.

i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.

and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.

it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.

who needs antidepressants when you’ve got a vague 31 second teaser with no release date?

Beach is where I belong 🤍

My favorite Jackie & Hyde moments #7

The fact that Hyde was bold enough to suggest that 😂

It’s ridiculous how literally anyone who tells me what to do rewires my brain to mush and makes me instantly desperate to please them.

My nail tech: 5 mins. No move hands. 😵‍💫

My attorney: stop talking. 😵‍💫

My mechanic: how many times have I told you to stop waiting this long between oil changes. 😵‍💫

one thing i’m really realizing about tv-watching lately is that i’m reaching a point where i can’t hold all these shows in my head. it takes so long to have a new season come out that i’ve forgotten all the details of what happened in the previous season unless it’s a show i’ve watched multiple times, which it’s usually not. then i feel like i’m doing wrong by the show by not rewatching the previous season(s) so i can watch the new one as the creators intended it to be watched, with all the emotional threads from the previous season getting picked up and returned to. like, i want those things to HIT the way they’re intended to, but usually they don’t for me in this tv-watching model because it’s been so long that i don’t remember the details of what’s going on or how i was feeling about everything going on on the show where it last left off. i can’t shake the feeling that i need to rewatch the whole show before the new season so it can register with me correctly ... but there are only so many hours in a day, i can’t do that for every single show i watch that drops a new season every year or every couple of years!

tl;dr this is why i am dreaming of majorly cutting down on the amount of tv i watch. my brain just can’t take it in this current format! there are already so many new seasons of shows i loved that i just haven’t seen for this reason. i find myself actively craving, like, limitations to my viewing so i don’t feel like my brain is going to explode. often i daydream of canceling all my streaming services except pbs passport and getting really into antiques road show and this old house.

peter revson playing tennis, 1973

ig@katy_reb

tfw you’ve been actively collecting dolls for 15 years and can tell you won’t like a doll body just based off pictures posted online.

📻

On phone from now! I might reply just the short threads since I don’t like typing on phone . Today I have a loooong shift , however I’ll be on DMs to chat!

Also I got to think a special tag for my beautiful Angel and our perfect timing to meet and ship ☝🏻 ( yeah , you know who you are )

I've mostly liked g3 but this physically hurts me

Barbie movie trailer looking fucking terrible. BRB gonna go get out my white blue and red 3d glasses and watch magic of pegasus to remeber what joy feels like /joke but not really. Only the part where I still have those glasses and wouldn't give myself a headache trying to use them haha don't you just love degenerative eye conditions and the passage of time

Cant get over the little text tread u put together abt Jeff i need more >_<

*cutely kicks feet and blinks at you with big doe eyes* :3

WHEN DID I DO THAT ? omg can u like.. link it or something LMAO

started the dream thieves on the bus to work worst mistake of my life