#week is just ummmmm hard ♥️ ABD idk how im gonna deal w my phone reminding me where i was a yr ago for the next like 7 weeks lol. just need
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hm. sure am not making anything easier for myself by doing what im doing and yet im doing it
#wasn’t going to post abt it but. i left a yr ago this week and like. all of the anniversaries are painful and hard and idk how to like. dea#w it. it sounds so pretentious like ohhhhh poor me i studied abroad so im special andquirky and different 🤪🤪🤪 but it was so hard for me to l#leave home and say goodbye and i didn’t know it would be a goodbye for good bc of covid and like. it’s so dramatic but i rly do feel like im#reliving the shutdown.. like MY shutdown. of my life here and it just ummmmmm hurts 😍 and like adding stuff to the tag and listening to sad#music and whatever doesn’t make it go away and probably makes it worse but idk how to deal w like. anniversaries of grief ever and well this#week is just ummmmm hard ♥️ ABD idk how im gonna deal w my phone reminding me where i was a yr ago for the next like 7 weeks lol. just need#get thru early march and then i’ll b fine but today was ummmmmm a lot and monday will be too and i feel hollowed out w grief. but i also#know i shouldn’t only see it as sad bc i was incredibly fortunate to have that opportunity and it changed my life for the better in so many#ways but that perspective shift is hard esp when i get like this. yeah ♥️#purrs#brighton#like it really has been one WHOLE YEAR since i was last on campus and saw some of the most important ppl in my whole life in person. ok 😍#ok not to like keep adding on to this it jjst is insane to me THST i was so scared to leave and i had reason to be and i didn’t know it. wtf#if i had known what was coming i don’t think i would have gone. but then again this is the middle of the story and maybe post covid i’ll#think abt it differently but rn.. i mean ik it probably wouldve been more traumatizing to be home for the shutdown like i would’ve gone#absolutely insane. but. like the timing of all of this was and is just so fucking SHITTY and i wish i’d had a little longer w everyone here#like i know i needed brighton and i don’t regret it except for when i do ♥️ bc i miss my old life so much. im insaaaane im crazaAaAaAy 😍
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