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ask-q-and-picard · 5 years

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Q: ... Jean-Luc, you know I’m not one to be concerned by linear time, but I can’t help noticing that it’s Monday.

Picard: Is it? I’ve lost track, truly - delicate diplomatic situations can’t be rushed, unfortunately, and their success is rather dependent upon their captain. I imagine I owe you an outing?

Q: I was beginning to think you’d never ask... as long as you’re capable?

Picard: ... Are you asking me if I’m tired?

Q: Yes, obviously, because I can fix that -

Picard: Thank you, Q, but I’m perfectly alright, though I’m perhaps more inclined than usual to do something more relaxed this time - the escape room was thoroughly enjoyable, but it’s been a trying few days.

Q: Understandable, you mortals are so easily wearied... what’ll it be then, mon capitaine? Tropical beach, perhaps? Small, ancient library no one else is currently in?

Picard: No no, nothing so inactive - I was considering wine. A tasting tour of France, with the appropriate food pairings.

Q: Will there be pastries?

Picard: ... Likely not. It tends to be more along the lines of cheese, or perchance oysters -

Q: Truly? I’ve always wanted to try an oyster, darling! Allons-y!

...

Q: So begins our whistle-stop tour - the Loire Valley! Such a quaint farmhouse, quite dull really, but I imagine the experience will be marvellous. After you, I’ll let your expertise lead the way... what are you staring at, man? It’s a vineyard, I can’t imagine you aren’t accustomed to such things -

Picard: Just... struck, Q. I don’t miss any of this, not remotely, but there’s a certain nostalgia associated with the French countryside that I can’t ever escape. I came here, after... well, doesn’t matter. I’m sure you must feel the same way whenever you’re in the Continuum.

Q: Not particularly, dear. It’s rarely ever been a home. I’m far too interesting for any of them.

Picard: ... Well, at least you have one now. That’s something, I hope?

Q: ... I have... what?

Picard: Well, wine won’t drink itself, Q - off we go! Oh, I do hope they have a decent Cabernet d’Anjou...

Q: ... You - you can’t just fail to elaborate on that, you incorrigible mortal!

...

Picard: A brief overview of wine labels for your benefit, dear -

Q: Omniscient. You can’t just go around saying things you don’t mean, Jean-Luc!

Picard: I don’t say things I don’t mean, Q.

Q: ... That’s... I’m struggling to contain the explosions of every bottle in this cellar, I want you to be fully aware of that. If they shatter, it’s entirely your fault.

Picard: Do attempt to restrain yourself, won’t you? I’m fully intending to test a reasonable sample. Now, the French label their wines by region rather than by grape, as they’re unique in frequently blending varieties -

Q: Stop talking and pass me the Anjou, mon amour. I need a distraction, and quickly.

Picard: Of course. You’ll notice the rosewood sheen of a classic Valley rosé - now, if you absorb the aroma, you’ll likely note - Q! You can’t just casually chug a fine vintage!

Q: ... Ah, yes. My mistake. I blame you, of course. Aubergine caviar on pain rustique?

Picard: An excellent pairing, yes, but are you alright?

Q: ... Can we take this damned thing back, Jean-Luc? Ridiculous idea anyway, dates are for Sundays - the rest of the week is for... home.

Picard: ... I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.

Q: Overwhelmed? Me? Don’t be so absurd, I’m perfectly normal! As if your paltry mortal capacities could overwhelm me!

Picard: ... Mmm... well, at least bring a Muscadet, Q. It’s local, and an impeccable accompaniment to oysters -

Q: Consider it done! Lovely country this, we’ll do it again sometime I’m sure!

Picard: ... Perhaps you should bring several bottles?

Q: Darling, I’m bringing half the vineyard. Home. To ours.

Picard: ... Oh, good lord...

#non-asks #aesthetics #mini scenes #... monday night date night?#yeah my bad guys #kinda ran out of weekend and I don't normally set up a queue =(#we'll resume our regularly scheduled broadcasts this week though =)#Star Trek Episode VI: The Return of Adorable Picard #here guys #take some precious for your delayed date #it's on the house (white)#News at 11: God Too Overwhelmed To Appreciate An Excellent Vintage #Local Galactic Wine Guide Regrets His Life Decisions #we'll have more on this story as it develops Mac

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