#we stopped using the nickname we always used since childhood bc his wife eprsonally decided she didnt like it
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my family loves me but in a way that does not make me feel loved
and it hurts because i cannot make myself not love them
#sometimes you just have to think about how fucking alienated you are and how they literally dont get and it refuse to try to get it#ad it sjust#fuck#man#i know i know so many people online support me#but it is natural i think to ache for familial love and lament#i did nothing wrong but exist wrong#i want to be loved the way i am#but i cannot fix that#its not even that hard we let my brother chaneg his name just he wanted to#we stopped using the nickname we always used since childhood bc his wife eprsonally decided she didnt like it#why is using a new word for me so hard#i think if they even ATTEMPTED it'd mean the world to me#they could try and constantly fail! but a tleast that means they care enough to try at all! instead of telling me Not Possible from jump
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