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water-hates-learning · 7 years

Text

But It Was Home

Monster Kids AU that @mushroomminded started is too adorable. It’s so cute it’s sweeter than my Halloween candy. So naturally I had to write a thing.

******

Matt screamed for hours when Tom’s first baby tooth fell out.

Tom thought it was fascinating and kept poking his purple tongue into the hole where the tooth had been. Edd spent half his time consoling Matt and the other half making sure Tom didn’t aggravate his gums with his little claws.

He’d finally managed to get Matt to calm down when Tom asked what you were supposed to do with baby teeth.

Matt started screaming again at the idea of a little fairy sneaking into their rooms at night to take their teeth.

———

When they were small, Edd had fretted endlessly about their health. There were plenty of books and sites about defeating monsters, but very few on taking care of baby ones. It had taken a lot of digging and favors to find out how to take care of them.

Matt was the hardest. Tom could eat ground up and softened meats, usually soaked in honey or milk to make them easier on his baby fangs. But Matt needed fresh blood, right from a living vein.

Edd felt he should have been disturbed by how easy it was for him to roll up his sleeves and dig a knife into his skin.

———

They were a rambunctious pair.

Sometimes Edd wondered what insanity he suffered under to think he could raise two monster children, one whose species he didn’t even know. But damn it all if he didn’t care about the little shits. They were enduring, in their own ways.

Tom was curious about everything, always sticking his nose into every corner he could reach. And then often sticking whatever he found there into his mouth. Good lord, the things that child tried to put into his mouth. Edd almost wondered if Tom saw better through his sense of smell and taste than he did with his pitch black eyes.

Matt was more subdued but just as troublesome. He liked to collect things and stash them in places he thought Edd couldn’t find—under the couch cushions, in the kitchen cabinets, beneath the bed, etc. And he was a terribly messy eater. Edd had to burn bloodied clothes at least once or twice a week and he could not convince the vampire child to wear a bib to spare his garments.

And they both bit. A lot.

Tom was constantly chewing on something; so much so that Edd went so far as to buy several dog toys for the monster boy to sink his baby teeth into. Matt just…bit everything. He bit everything at least once just to see if he could. And then usually dissolved into tears when he realized what he was trying to bite either didn’t taste good or was too hard for him to bite in the first place.

Yeah, raising two monster kids was…an adventure.

———

Tom found out he could change into a four-legged, dog-sized tower of terror and everything went to shit.

When he didn’t get to eat dessert before dinner, he’d shift and throw a tantrum, spitting smoke and clawing at the walls. When Matt took his favorite toy, he’d shift and tackle the other boy to the floor, snapping his jaws and battering at the vampire with oversized puppy paws. When he wanted to go outside but it was too dark or too late or too rainy, he’d shift and flop down on his side and yowl like a husky dog, dead weight whinging the loss of his outside time. When he had to take a bath, he’d shift and tear around the house, crashing into walls and tripping over his too big paws until Edd would finally manage to catch him.

Sometimes it was involuntary. If he was frightened, he’d shift and snap and snarl and breathe puffs of acrid smoke into the air that would set off all the smoke detectors and frighten him even more. He slipped and slid on the linoleum in the kitchen, crashing into the fridge more than once (there was now a Tom sized dent in the thing that Edd couldn’t be bothered to fix).

While Matt’s response to fear was to scream and cry, Tom’s was to fight back. As small and scrawny as he was, he refused to take shit from anyone. It’d be admiral if he wasn’t a stubborn little brat.

———

There were sloppy crayon drawings stuck on the door of the fridge.

Most were indistinguishable scribbles in vaguely human shapes, overlapping haphazard grocery lists and forgotten reminders to water the herb garden. Some of the paper was torn from little claws or smeared with snack time blood.

But they were all lovingly displayed, no matter how messy they were.

———

Tom liked music and often sang along with songs he recognized.

Matt liked soft things and made piles of his favorite stuffed toys to bury himself in like a nest.

Once, Tom caught a bad cold and was bedridden for days, sniffling, coughing, vomiting, and absolutely miserable. Edd did his best to keep calm, if just for the sake of the boys, but Matt panicked. He asked through gasping sobs if Tom was going to die. Tom, overhearing this, burst into tears and cried about how he didn’t want to die. It took several reassurances and a careful explanation about germs, bacteria, and sickness to calm them down.

Later, when Edd came into Tom’s room to give the poor boy a bath, he found the monster child half asleep. Matt was sitting at the end of his bed, singing a song in a soft, tentative voice.

———

Edd made sure to keep his workshop door locked and emphasized to both boys that they were not to go in. There were too many plants, potions, stones, and other spell components that could potentially harm them.

He should have known better.

Tom came barreling into the kitchen one afternoon on four legs, all scales and panic, tears and smoke dribbling down his features.

The workshop door was open and Matt was dry heaving onto the lacquered floorboards. Edd only needed to see the toppled and shattered jar of ground up blackthorn to know what had happened. He quickly scooped the vampire into his arms and hurried out of the room. Tom whined and thumped his tail on the floor pathetically as Edd helped Matt clear the veritable poison out of his system.

When they had recovered, he took them both by the hand and showed them around his workshop so they understand exactly why they were not to play in there.

———

Tom asked why he looked different than Matt and Edd.

Edd told himself that the lump in his throat and the burning in his eyes was from working with hawthorn and not because he could feel his heart wrenching in his chest.

———

It was fine when Matt made friends with the little boy next door.

It was fine when the little human boy came over to play.

It was fine when Edd and Eduardo found the mutual ground of being single fathers.

It was fine until Matt sank his fangs into Jon’s neck at Jon’s insistence.

It was fine until Edd had to explain that Matt had just turned his best friend into a thrall.

It was fine because Jon still wanted to be Matt’s friend.

And it had nothing to do with magical mind control.

———

Matt picked up speech far faster than Tom did. In fact, Tom didn’t really start talking until he was almost six. Most of his communication came from grunts, growls, whines, and roars. Edd was worried about his development and spent many a late night reading up on it until he gave up. Monster children were not human children.

And then one day, a five and half year old Tom toddled up to his adoptive father, tugged on the sleeve of that worn out robe, and said in a small but stubborn voice,

“Da’. Food.”

Edd gaped at him for a full minute before crowing with happiness and sweeping the boy up into his arms.

———

Edd and Eduardo definitely did not compare their whose children were better in feats of epic, dad rivalry.

And they definitely didn’t drag Eduardo’s housemate Mark into it.

And they both most certainly did not fall over each other gushing when they found all three boys curled up in a pile, napping together.

———

Ringo was a tentative edition to the house. An adoption that Edd couldn’t say no to. He’d seen the kitten in a box outside the grocery store and the poor little gray thing had mewled at him. And the next thing he knew, he had a kitten in his pocket and was wondering how on earth the kids were going to react.

The answer was very well.

Tom instantly took a liking to the tiny gray furball and trundled around with it on all four, his tail in the air, batting at her playfully. Matt was more apprehensive but eventually warmed up to her as well.

When Ringo crept into his workshop and settled comfortably on top of his foot, he knew he’d made the right decision.

———

The house was usually in some sorry state of disrepair. Between Edd’s failure at proper house maintenance, Tom’s destructive habits and temper tantrums, and Matt’s messy eating, the place didn’t looked all that cleaned up.

Edd did the best he could to keep it livable and presentable. But it wasn’t until Eduardo came by to drop Jon off that he really had any idea how bad things were.

Eduardo took one look around at the claw marks in the floor, the chunks taken out of the walls, the blood stains trailing from the kitchen and promptly said the place looked like a murderer lived there. Then he put a hand on Edd’s shoulder and told him seriously,

“I’ll help you make this place monster kid proof. But only because you’re obviously too pathetic to figure out how to do it yourself. And also I need to make sure Jon stays safe.”

Edd gave him a breathless thanks and tried not to cry from relief.

———

The house down the lane with the weird garden and strange symbols in the door was noisy and messy and sometimes smoke came pouring out of the open windows while the smoke alarms wailed. The yard had holes dug in it by eager claws, the fence between the yards was cracked from impacts, and there was a suspicious looking dark stain on the walk up to the front door.

It was crazy, but it was home.

#8ball fics #monster kid au

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