#voidhopping campaign
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it is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you at liberty to neglect it.
DAICHI AMELKIIR
↳ earth genasi cleric + paladin
[psd]
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‘DOES THE END
JUSTIFY THE MEANS?’ this is
process, there is no end, there are only
means, each one
had better justify itself.
To whom?
d.d.p.
OZYMANDIAS
↳ sun elf ⟶ half sea elf paladin of the owl
[for @forcekenobi | commission info]
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thinking about the HungerTM manifesting as the type of anxiety that kind of just sits in your chest and feels like acid and makes you jump at shadows and want to scream
thinking about scratch going directly into the voidy underdark where every sound is dampened and she can't make noise or speak without bringing (more) Danger
thinking about how a great way to regulate the nervous system and alleviate anxiety is by stimulating the vagus nerve which can be done by talking and singing and breathing really deep
thinking about scratch finally having something to fight and knowing that she doesn't have to be quiet anymore
Thinking about scratch feeling conflicted about fighting the last denizen of Ilhesa who was left behind because she mostly ISN'T conflicted, just relieved
#scratch both relating INCREDIBLY STRONGLY to someone who is so connected to their city they give themselves to it#even after everyone else has left#but still Not Understanding making the choice to stay behind#when everyone you love is going somewhere else#and all of that leaving her head the moment she has a chance to briefly alleviate the HungerTM#scratch#voidhopping campaign
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oh no!! i missed the dnd session liveblogs!!
#do i keep up with voidhopping and lizas campaigns like weekly soaps? yes yes i do#and now ive gotta dive through my dash to find out what happened to the kids#nyx.txt
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the party, half of them still drunk, is being attacked by shadow creatures in the middle of the night!!!!
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DAICHI LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!
#tfw your temporary replacement character is the only one who can use a scroll of True Resurrection but u gotta roll a 19#that was SO stressful#but we made it team!!!!!!! he's back!!!!!!!!#voidhopping campaign
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there was so much to love about this session including
kalluxozy kiss
RETURN OF ORUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
scratch at 3 points of void taint and experiencing The Void's Hunger
zaref accidental brother lore drop
"I feel a little crazy" –Kallux
Kallux: I'm giving you a shot so don't fucking blow it. / Ozy: I think there's something wrong with you
void interrogation session feat. some WIS saves (and fails)
but special mention to zaref telling dai to stfu when he mentioned being grateful they saved him from the abyss 😬
#tfw u blow yourself up and your boyfriend is still mad at you about it (deserved)#voidhopping campaign
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another kind of hello
oc kiss week '24 // dairef + canon (1.2k)
dai and zaref got to enjoy a couple (private!) date nights in selto after daichi's time in the abyss. here's the tail end of their first post-rez date (and also their first real proper date ever)
He thinks on it all afternoon, as they leave the tattoo parlor and when they pass the skating rink and at dinner after. It isn’t that big a thought, not really, but it seems to grow larger the longer he mulls it over, and more layered, and a little delicate too. It's the sort of thought he has to turn over so he can see it from all angles before he speaks out.
So it isn’t until they’re standing on the street after dinner, night warm and bright and busy around them in the way Selto always is, that he says, “I want to do this right.”
Zaref, looking up timetables on the side of the bus shelter, glances at him.
“I know it’s a little late for that,” Daichi allows, more wry than guilty—which is a relief, to be honest; he doesn’t want to do this with guilt. “But I’d like to do this right anyway. Or as right as I can.”
“This,” Zaref echoes. His eyes trace the lines of the bus shelter, pointed, and Daichi swallows something that feels like a laugh.
“Dinner,” he clarifies. “Skating rinks. Museums or bars or... I would like to spend time with you without worrying about the world ending around us.”
Zaref raises an eyebrow. “I believe they call that dating.”
His tone is dry, but there’s something amused in the crook of his mouth as he says it.
"I— Yes." Daichi shrugs, too aware of his own skin and the shape of himself inside it. “I don’t know if I’ll be very good at it. I haven’t had much experience, and things so far have been… a little intense.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
“And—“ Daichi hesitates, takes a breath. This is the harder part, one of the layers he isn't entirely sure about. “And I know you’re angry.”
In truth, anger feels like too small a word for it, but it’s the one Zaref used. Even saying it now it makes him go a little still, a little sharp.
“I would like to do things right," he says, careful. Zaref waits, watching, giving Daichi time to parcel out what he wants to say. Daichi still isn't entirely sure how to tell him how grateful he is for that space. "Even if it’s difficult. I want time with you. I want to know you with and without the armor. I want— I want to have fun.”
Zaref gives him a look at that, something between challenge and doubt, but Daichi holds it. He means that. He has the sense it might take more work than he’s prepared for—fun is not something he's had much opportunity to cultivate—but he wants it. He’s never been one to shy away from hard work.
A heartbeat later, Zaref’s expression softens. The city moves around them, cars and pedestrians and the endless hum.
“We have some fun,” he says, mild.
“Well, yes. But we also…” He doesn’t want to bring up the Abyss right now. Or Selto, or Monrha, or Asdor, or Wiztopia. He grimaces. “We don’t often have time for it.”
“No,” Zaref allows. “I suppose we do not.”
“So I would just— I’d like to do this again. More. I had a good time. I’d like to— I want to take you out again.”
“I think you are supposed to wait to ask for a second date after the first one has ended.” Zaref is definitely smiling now. Daichi sighs.
“I thought someone might try to listen in if I asked at home.”
“I suppose sometimes they can be nosy.”
“Right,” Daichi says dryly. “Sometimes.”
Zaref laughs.
“I know they mean well," he hurries to add, a little sorry for the irritation. They don't deserve it, mostly. They mean the best of almost everyone he knows. “I only— I hope you’ll forgive me if sometimes I don’t want to share you. Or— Share us, I guess.”
“Mmh,” hums Zaref. “I think I can forgive you for that.”
“So then— Can we do this again?”
“Isn't it customary to kiss at the end of the date,” Zaref returns, “before asking for the next one?"
He's definitely teasing now, but it draws Daichi up short.
“You— Oh.” He isn’t sure why that’s a surprise, except that they haven’t actually kissed, not since— Zaref’s has hardly left his side, true, but this is…
This they haven’t tried again. Not yet.
“Are you sure?” he asks. This feels like the sort of thing that requires confirmation. Permission. The guilt is back, a little—it does tend to lurk, particularly where Zaref is concerned.
Zaref’s answer is a step forward, moving slow and purposefully into Daichi’s space. The closeness is not a surprise, but he hand on his jaw is a sweeter, stranger thing. For a moment, Daichi remembers a desert world from a lifetime ago. The sun has long since set, but the light of the bus shelter drips over them, and Daichi is all instinct when he rises onto his toes and closes the distance between them.
It’s a strange thing to kiss someone again after so many years of separation. It's strange to fall back into something he used to know so well and hasn't forgotten so much as un-remembered.
“Sorry,” he mumbles when they part, his heart thudding a mile a minute. He says it like a reflex, automatic and clumsy, and it surprises him. His fingers have curled into Zaref’s shirt, holding tight without his permission, and a small and distant part of him marvels at how badly he can miss someone who is standing right in front of him. All of the neat, clean lines of meaning he holds in his mind smear to abstraction; he forgets to look at the layers and the angles and the thoughts. “Sorry,” he repeats, though sorry isn't what he means at all, and then he leans in to kiss Zaref again.
Everything inside him buzzes. He feels it from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet, a shock and a settling both. It is, he imagines, a little like coming home. Something like desperation pushes up under his tongue, a deep and welling want, and Daichi makes himself pull away before it swamps him.
“Don’t apologize,” says Zaref, hand at his waist, voice rough. “Don’t— Not for this.”
“Okay,” Daichi nods. Promises. He takes a breath and makes himself unhook his fingers from Zaref’s shirt. He finds his hand instead, a better thing to hold, and Zaref slots their fingers together without a word.
For a long minute, they sit under the shelter. The bus comes, and then they sit there instead, side by side, clasped hands tucked between them. The night flashes past through the window, the city big and blooming and alive.
It isn’t until they get off the bus that Daichi asks again.
“Persistent,” Zaref says, squeezing his hand. Daichi hums.
“I've heard I can sometimes be stubborn.”
“Sometimes,” Zaref echoes, dry, and Daichi doesn’t bother to hide his smile. Zaref bumps against him, pointedly clumsy, and Daichi sways with him. “I guess you like me, hm.”
It catches for a moment—that flicker of guilt, of things left unsaid too long. Daichi feels it and lets it pass.
“Yes. I meant it. I want to do this right.”
“Mmh. Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I’d like that too.”
“Okay,” says Daichi, and even in the dark he can see the edge of Zaref’s smile. “Then we will.”
#this is like. canon adjacent. a canon what-if. I have no idea what goes through zaref's head but whatever I wrote something anyway#ockiss24#mine; writing#a tag I haven't used in a million million years wow#r: light through stained glass#voidhopping campaign#mine; daichi#daichi
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DAICHI REUNITED WITH HIS DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD
#IT FINALLY HAPPENED FOLKS#A HUNDRED SESSIONS LATER AND WE'RE BACK IN AIREDON#DAI'S HOME!!#voidhopping campaign
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> be daichi
> explode and die
> spend three years in the abyss
> get out and immediately return home to see your dad and the world u left behind months/years ago being eaten by the void
> enter said void
> get in a fight with a beholder thing
> lose your single source of protection against the void and pray for help but have to choose between saving your boyfriend or your sibling-of-choice as the darkness closes in. you can only save one of them
> get the hdywtdt against the beholder thing
> briefly regress to the horrible war-drenched thing you were in the abyss as you burn it to obsidian and ash
> Everything Is Totally Fine
#tfw Divine Intervention works but it doesn't work quite enough#haha fuck :)#voidhopping campaign#daichi
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do I think daichi deserves a 4 ft long flemish giant rabbit? absolutely. do I think that is the "right vibe" for his Find Steed spell? unfortunately no
#while it would be Delightful. I don't quite thing it's the right energy for what he's bringing to the table right now#one day though. one day.#get that man an emotional support creature#our DM recommended a cat and honestly. yeah.#voidhopping campaign#daichi
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daichi's mental state is a very delicate card tower of "if I don't think about it too hard it won't hurt me" and ozy prodding about abyssal fire in the underdark was Not super helpful
#genuinely don't think he quite knew What he was tapping into in that urge to have the fight done As Fast As Possible#not Great to hear it was a little more fire and brimstone than usual!!#dai wouldn't do great at journaling because he can't even process feeling Any emotion rn#voidhopping campaign#daichi
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because if that choice was wrong then who's to say all the others haven't been too; who's to say he has any right to make these kinds of decisions; he's so tired of making these kinds of decisions. everything you've done has been astronomical says ozy and daichi thinks, well maybe it shouldn't be
#this is what it's like when you experience gifted kid burnout as a level 16 cleric/paladin#daichi#voidhopping campaign#tbd
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quick little voidhopping to-do list (in no particular order):
fix the magical barrier that protects the city where we're staying (which we accidentally powered down when the ex-warlock broke her warlock pact)
find a way to get through the magical poisonous void to go back to airedon
find a way to fix/heal/restore the magical poisonous void so it doesn't try to poison anyone/anywhere else
actually fix/heal/restore the magical poisonous void
(alternately, destroy the void. nbd.)
find a way to travel between planets without the use of the void (poisonous or normal) in case this goes badly and we strand the party somewhere
find the druid's brother
get the druid's brother from the magical dangerous forest where he's currently running around on his own
find out what happened to the sealed-off planet that completely cut itself off from the void (note: may involve time-locking the planet??)
find out what happened to the drow city that was in touch with the sealed-off planet that completely cut itself off from the void
go to the aforementioned drow city and/or sealed-off planet
go shopping
???
profit
#as you can see we're doing really well here#voidhopping campaign#today is Fetch Harrison Day I think
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daichi + canon. <1k.
for hidden injury prompted by @wings-of-life // angst prompts
tw for self-harm
Daichi does his best to be smart about it. At first he sticks to the island, but when that isn’t big enough, isn’t far enough, he still tries to be smart. He sets himself rules: never out of sight of the island, never in the path of the lighthouse, never longer than when he thinks he should be hungry or tired. The last one is the hardest; he has trouble enough measuring the wants of the body without the unending timelessness smearing such paltry things as want to abstraction.
But the point is: He tries.
The walking is nice. The walking is a rote, articulated thing, foot-knee-hip-shift, a steady rhythm that cedes slowly to something like meditation, if meditation were hazy and barren and adrift. There are no eyes out here: none of Scratch’s frantic fix-it worry nor Ozy’s assessing gaze nor Zaref’s distant staring. Even the gods don’t watch him here, and for all that he misses the warmth, he does not entirely mind the secrecy. It is a relief, he can admit to himself as he walks, to not be seen, if only for a while. The astral sea is immense around him and he passes through it unmarked and unheeded. The vastness does not look at him with ill-hidden hurt and ask about his father or the empty spaces where his family history has never been; the vastness does not wonder about his magic and spells he cannot see; the vastness does not put on a brave, silent face and hold tight to hurts for fear of their burden. The vastness only is.
Daichi keeps to his rules, but sometimes when the island is small enough that even he cannot make out the estate on it, he stops to sit. It is a strange thing to sit on something that does not have a surface, but space and weight and matter are only what he makes of them. Sometimes he lies down, but that is often stranger, and he gets dizzy staring up into everything.
The longer they stay, the more he likes it. Not the threat of forgetting, nor the timelessness nor the inescapable press of what is going on outside the bounds of this place, and certainly not the way the pressure-patience grind against each other at perfect odds, turning everyone lazy and frantic in the same breath. But the space, the idea that he might rise one morning and walk forever and never grow tired or hungry, that is a strange, uncomfortable pleasure. He would not, of course—not while he has tasks to complete, not when there are people who need him—but he thinks about it longer than he should, as his wanderings take him further and further from friends and family, all the unwieldy things tying him to the material world and its unending demands.
It is in those moments, when he considers walking and not turning back, that he stops. Sits. Folds himself up in a facsimile of his morning prayer, though there is no sun to turn toward, and tries to remember why he stays. Sometimes he thinks of writing, but what would he say? I’m sorry, after everything I still want to leave?
He has no right to the resentment. He chose this. He’d thought maybe, finally, to have reached an understanding with himself—that the sacrifice had been accepted because he had finally wanted to stay.
Now, unmoored, he is bitter with his own... what? Obligation? Care? With the eyes, mostly—the waiting, the watching, the wariness. And it would be easy, so easy to snap. He knows how to say terrible things and say them without feeling them, and some days—for whatever counts as days here, for whatever counts as some—he can taste it on his tongue, poised and ready. It is not something he likes in himself. It is not something he knows how to release without causing harm. Frustration tastes like brimstone, sulfur and ash, and is a familiar friend.
The blade is familiar too, a sharp and real shock. It is not quite enough—he imagines, sometimes, a hot and horrible wedge of hurt and blood and mess driven in deep, lancing him, leaving him to breathe better for the wound—but it makes his body real in such a way that he sometimes forgets to be. Blood beads red, which is real and alive—though the fire had been red too, hadn't it—and reminds him of here. It makes the now smaller in this timeless place. The time for the wound to sting, for the blood to seep, for the wound to scab, those are things he knows and can measure.
This harm, at least, is one he does not need to share. It is one he does not want to share. It is all his own.
He cannot recall when he learned to so viciously guard his own hurt.
He sits there watching the cut—sleek, narrow, a parallel line to his gleaming scars running up the side of his leg—until it begins to scab, and then with a touch of magic it's gone. Easy, clean. Fixed. If only all hurts were so easily resolved.
“How was your walk?” Zaref asks when he returns. He sits at the edge of the yard, watching Ozy and Scratch spar back and forth. Daichi lingers, but does not join him.
“Pleasant,” he says. "How is the sparring?"
A shrug. Daichi nods, considers speaking—considers asking, pressing, demanding, cursing, sneering, pleading, reaching—and retreats into the house.
#gonna be honest idk what this is#just some disjointed thoughts and feelings about the boy#mine; daichi#mine; writing#voidhopping campaign#daichi
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daichi like three days back from the dead and remembering what a fucking nightmare it is working here
#tfw your vacation is three years of servitude and horror in the abyss#at least he didn't have to feel responsible for anyone kicking down doors and threatening gnomes#voidhopping campaign
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