#voices because they wrongly assumed I was incorrect in the head I guess
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Honestly it’s exhausting to be skeptical of things and then end up being right about it
#I don’t know if this makes sense#but I went to an event where everyone preaches having a sense of community and that everyone is accepted or whatever#and every person who interacted with me there was rude as fuck lol#as soon as I stepped out of my car and into the parking lot I could tell something was off before I even went into the building#the first guy at the entrance treated me like I was some dumbass#and then when I was in there someone came up to me but he started talking to me in a singsong kind of voice like I was a child or challenged#or something and it just made me feel bad#I’m not really one to put personal business on the internet but I have a physical disability and growing up people would talk to me in weird#voices because they wrongly assumed I was incorrect in the head I guess#and like him doing that just brought back all those bad feelings I had growing up#now I know he didn’t do it because of my disability because I learned to hide it very well so people wouldn’t treat me as subhuman#there was zero chance this man knew I am disabled#but it still hurts idk#like it makes me wonder what else about me gave the impression that I should be talked to in that manner#then another guy had some weird spikes/hooks on his belt and he caught my sleeve as he went by me#and I don’t know if he thought I was trying to touch him or something but he immediately made a face at me like he was considering hitting#me for a moment#I don’t know how to describe it other than if you know you know#and he unhooked whatever it was from my sleeve and didn’t even say sorry or anything#last thing that happened was someone shoved me (it was accidental) and I fell back into someone and when I turned around to say sorry they#just had this look of complete disgust on their face#at that point I just kind of dissociated from the show and sat by myself on a bench in the back#it really didn’t help that everyone seemed to know everyone there and I was literally the only person standing by themselves#idk I just went back to my car immediately after it ended and just sat there feeling extremely stupid for even showing up#I honestly tried to enjoy myself there despite everything but I honestly didn’t enjoy it at all#and it makes me sad because I really wanted to be a part of this but it wasn’t in the cards I guess#I spent the last few months hyping myself up for this ‘sense of community’ too#my fucking bad#wow this got long#if anyone actually reads all this shit I’m sorry
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