#vivian.rpy
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VIVIMILO POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have yet to finalize the outfits for the s/i design in fullbody form but here she is. here's vivian
i'll do violence and manipulation variants as well, it's just that vivian also changes appearance in those routes so i'd have to redraw her to correspond to her outfits in those routes lol
EDIT: hi i did the two route variants
some bullet points about vivian under the cut
comparisons with eris
you might notice already the similarities in appearance to eris, namely the curly hair and heterochromia. this was intentional; vivian and eris are similar in a lot of ways, namely the desire for a perfect love and rotten personality, and vivian as a self insert was made to take eris's role.
of course, they also have stark differences; while eris's methods are rather calculating and require a lot of forethought, vivian is rather spontaneous and impulsive. vivian's shaping of milo isn't as carefully constructed as eris's, as vivian likes a more natural-feeling relationship. however, she still very much wants a corrosive and suffocating love, and will absolutely enable milo's obsessive tendencies and push him into it more and more until she can barely breathe... and then some.
furthermore, while eris's show of affection tends to be pretty mild, vivian is absolutely smothering in her love. she's a yandere as well, and her obsessive tendencies are much worse than preroute milo's. the reason she wants a perfect love is because she's loved in this intense and suffocating manner all her life, only to be met with rejection and disgust, and has always wanted someone to love her in the same way she loves. a give and take that's reciprocal in action.
while eris tends to be cold and relatively lucid, vivian... well, she's fucking insane. neurotic, emotionally unstable, delusional, the works. the classic "keeps up a sweet and cute persona, has overwhelming mental issues that freak out the normies." but it's okay, because she and milo can have overwhelming mental issues that freak out the normies together.
elaborating on vivimilo
vivian is absolutely the little spoon. she is very, very small. she's a big fan of the size difference between her and milo, in both height and body type.
she love love LOVES fashion, hence her appearance changes in violence and manipulation routes that i mentioned earlier. she's also always wanted to borrow her partner's clothes, especially if they're much bigger than her and especially for the sake of trying to put together cute coords with the clothes. personally, i feel like the hoodie that we see with milo P is one that he's had for a long time, so the color's kind of faded and weird-looking, and i think vivian could coordinate an outfit with it that looks very cute and fun in a more purposeful manner.
vivian LOVES pet names and likes to alternate between several different ones. sweetheart, honey, dear, the classics. her go-to is darling, that's her absolute favorite. doll and love are close seconds.
it's hard to say where she falls on the intro/extrovert scale. i think she's best described as an extrovert with extreme social anxiety. she'd LOVE to be more social, as she really likes the attention, but she tends to freeze up when actually trying to converse. it's a struggle.
words are fine, but she's much better with expressing her love through her actions. she's very touchy-feely and wants to be near her darling as often as possible. she's not very good at remembering to care for herself, but she'll try to care for milo as best she can, or at least remind him to care for himself.
definitely confesses first. it takes her a bit cus she gets really nervous and she's super afraid of rejection, but she's definitely the one to voice her feelings first. not like she's very good at hiding her affection, anyways. i think that before they start dating, she and milo have super obvious, super embarrassing crushes on each other that literally everyone can sense from a mile away for weeks on end, but they both avoid saying anything about it out of fear of making things awkward. category 5 BPD catastrophe. they both have panic attacks in the bathroom over this shit. and then vivian finally confesses and they're both sooooooo so in love.
afraid of squashing the bugs. her main concern is the bug getting anywhere *on* her cus it feels icky. considering that milo's terrified of the bug and keeps hiding behind her, she gets the nearest shoe to squash it herself. can only really squash with a shoe rather than use the cup/sheet of paper method cus she gets too panicky. she's rather imprecise as-is trying to squash the damn thing.
can't drive. is fine with being a passenger, but is otherwise afraid of cars. her spatial awareness is dogshit, and she gets so freaked out about being behind the wheel that she dissociates. it'll be a long while of practice before she can be trusted to drive to places.
knows how to cook some very basic things, but these basic things turn out pretty good. can probably cook more complex dishes if the disability doesn't tire her out too much that day, or if she gets help.
as mentioned before, she's very touchy-feely. she gets a little more nervous about getting physically affectionate in public, but not by much. definitely takes advantage of milo getting easily flustered by getting super physically affectionate at opportune times. she thinks it's so cute when he's like that.
leans more overprotective, although it's difficult to describe. she's used to being powerless in situations where her darling's being mistreated, so while it takes her a bit to step in to do anything about it, she'll still glare real nasty at anyone who treats milo even slightly too harshly.
has more relationship experience, although most of it was LDR since she's the kind of nerd who has more friends online than IRL lol
horny as hell, to the extent that she tends to hold herself back when expressing her sexuality out of fear that she'd be overstepping. when she's given the okay to express her sexuality unfiltered, she can get pretty needy. definitely the more dominant out of the two lol that man is submissive as hell
i think it would be difficult for me to elaborate on the awkwardness and jealousy levels but like. y'know the vibe. i'm getting so fucking sleepy so uhhhhhhhhhh yeah that's the post
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continuation of the last understand my ship in 5 minutes post, now with violence and manipulation routes!
bullet point infodump under the cut
things i forgot to mention on last post
along with the classic pet names and her favorites "darling", "doll", and "love", vivian also likes calling milo "bunny" after learning that he really likes bunnies. she also likes bunnies herself and considers it one of her personal motif animals along with butterflies, so no doubt she'd love to be called "bunny" back.
in addition to vivian's methods being more spontaneous and impulsive, she tends to rely on playing up her emotions and self-harming tendencies. she doesn't like outright lying, partly just cus it feels bad and partly because she finds it too bothersome to keep up with a lie that doesn't hold much truth to it. however, she's fine with twisting the truth sometimes, exaggerating things that she really does feel and things that really did happen in order to get her way. in any case, she's definitely more honest and upfront than eris.
of course, i'd imagine milo would be upset with his love self-harming, especially as i headcanon him to have dealt with these issues himself preroute. vivian tells him that she doesn't really wanna stop completely due to her own reasons, but he still worries about her, especially considering the consequences to her health. thus, he encourages harm reduction wherever he can, and it definitely helps.
violence route
vivian changes appearance on both routes in order to better complement milo's appearance changes. for violence route, she takes on a frilly girly style. this is to lean into a more cute and delicate image so that milo feels more compelled to act protective over her, and also to lean into an edgy style and intimidating appearance/cute style and sweet appearance type of contrast, the classic.
of course, this harmless image also serves as a trap. vivian usually carries a box cutter on her no matter the route, partly for self-harm reasons, partly for utility reasons, partly in the event that she'd need to defend herself. however, she takes even more care in making sure that she has one at the ready on this route. not like she even needs to use it that often when milo stays by her side at every possible waking moment, but it's good to have that extra precaution. she also gets more into bedazzling her box cutters like she'd been meaning to, and loves excitedly showing them to milo.
vivian is physically disabled and tends to play up her disability most on this route. while she's definitely not lying about being in pain all the time, it's very tempting to emphasize it so much when milo has the strength to pick her up easily. she loves the way milo handles her physically, like his fragile little bunny in need of protection.
as with preroute, she likes borrowing milo's clothes, and with the contrasting styles that they have on violence route, this ends up bringing a certain edge into otherwise very girly coords that she really likes. the "cute girl giddily wearing her boyfriend's jacket" vibes are especially strong here.
with milo still being rather socially awkward on this route, he and vivian also end up leaning into the "intimidating and aloof man/cute and talkative girl" type of couple, which she's also really happy about. of course, she's still rather socially awkward herself, but the anxiety doesn't get to her as much with milo by her side.
i imagine milo would be much more physically clingy here as well, as mentioned earlier. holding onto her arm, staying close behind her while walking, having her sit in his lap and holding her that way, that sort of thing. and, of course, keeping a close eye out for anyone that might cause her trouble.
manipulation route
for manipulation route, vivian takes on a more bold gal style. this is so that she's more matchy-matchy with milo's charming cool guy appearance, and so that this more provocative manner of dress is more attention-grabbing. vivian tends to gravitate towards more risque silhouettes in general, both for sensory and self-expression reasons, but it's emphasized more on this route.
in addition, vivian is at her most playful and flirtatious on this route. she has a rather playful and flirtatious personality in general, but her more provocative presentation and milo's enthusiastic response to such behaviors lead her to lean more into it here. lots of teasing between the two of them. milo's definitely enjoying it, that's for sure.
with how both of them lean towards little spoon on this route, they alternate on who's little spoon and who's big spoon. vivian as big spoon gets to be pretty awkward with milo being much bigger in size compared to her, so he tends to curl up into a ball to accommodate for that. very catlike in the way that he does that.
they also like to alternate on who gets to be lap pillow. vivian often needs to lay down when she's having bad disability days, so she likes resting her head on milo's lap on such occasions.
vivian's always wanted to be an idol and thinks of herself as having an idol aura. vivian and milo would be most likely to lean into the idol nickname and general motif for each other on this route, especially considering M route milo's whole thing with worshipping his love.
as both of them lean towards borrowing clothes, they tend to just take each other's. as always, vivian likes taking milo's to wear with her own coords, and a lot of vivian's clothes would be too small for milo to wear, but he likes having them with him anyway. what does he do with them? oh, don't even worry about it.
ermmmmmmmmm ok that's all i can think of. we ball
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milo milo milo milo milo milo milo milo i love you milo i love you so much milo i want to know everything about you milo. i want to study your face and look deep into your eyes until i've committed every little detail to memory. i want to know how long it takes for you to fall asleep, what your face looks like when you're asleep, the rise and fall of your breaths as you're sleeping, what side of the bed you wake up on, how your voice sounds when you wake up first thing in the morning. i want to know the sound of every single one of your laughs in all contexts, the specific articulations in the way you speak, the particular way your voice strains when you get nervous. i want to know what would make you whimper. i want to know what would make your breathing hitch. i want to know how your eyes express each and every emotion.
i want to know you thoroughly, milo. i love you. i love you so much.
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i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you, milo. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you.
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i'm nervous about this but....... i decided to open up anon asks on this blog. just as a more open invitation for y'all to send asks, since i figure some of y'all are shy.
just know that i WILL turn it back off if i get too many people being jackasses in my askbox. i've had issues in the past with weird anons that i'd rather not repeat.
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update on the nails: my mom didn't want me going out today cus she said there was gonna be a thunderstorm (even though the forecast only said it was gonna be cloudy with a small chance of rain..........)
HOWEVER i did ask her partner (.....not sure what else to call him. i have daddy issues so i feel weird calling him dad) about the nail polish he said he had a while back. there wasn't much in terms of yellow but he's willing to lend me his base and top coat polishes. so vivian yellow nails may become real whenever i can make that walgreens trip
it would also be cute to draw milo and my s/i having painted their nails in each other's colors, but that would mean i'd have to finish the s/i design, so that would take a little while to get around to
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ria/vivian ♡ 20 ♡ doll/it/fae/love
welcome to my selfship blog. i'm the yandere landmine girlfriend of milo change from perfect love (visual novel) in real.
i don't like sharing milo with other selfshippers. y'all are fine to interact as long as y'all aren't pushy with y'all's own selfships towards me, though i likely won't interact back. those who ship milo with eris or other characters from perfect love are okay to interact. those who share any non-romantic F/Os are okay to interact.
i post and reblog nsfw and suggestive posts. all nsfw/suggestive posts are tagged as naughty naughty along with normal nsfw/suggestive tags.
i don't associate with anti-yandere or those who claim that j*rai kei only refers to fashion. i also don't associate with proship OR anti.
tags
romantic F/O
milo (preroute): bunny love
milo (manipulation): kitten purrs
milo (violence): puppy eyes
milo (true): eyes always watching
romantic...? F/O
ryan: eye necklace
familial F/O
emil: honey milk
platonic F/O
desmond: cinnamon spice
main: @darlingkisses01
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i need to cuddle with him so bad i need his warmth i need his embrace i need skin to skin contact and i need to lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat
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do you always have to have such a vile expression on your face, doll? i mean, it does suit you rather well, and that smirk of yours, while irritating, is rather captivating. of course, i am biased. i do still find you rather cute.
i'm just saying, i think it would be so, so cute to see the look on your face when you're afraid and begging for your life. i do like that vulnerable part of you too, y'know.
#vivian.rpy#eye necklace#yan post about ryan for once lol#it's hard to express these thoughts without sounding like an edgelord so uh. woops
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i just spent hours deliberating over the assignments that were due today only to turn in an incomplete report out of frustration, and now my head hurts.
i wish milo could help me with my work. his grades are probably better than mine, so he's probably way smarter than me academically speaking. it would be nice to get his input and encouragement whenever i get stuck. we could even study together and check in on each other's progress periodically. at least, i know studying would certainly go much smoother if it were with him. i tend to get irritated on some level or other by most classmates that i've worked with, but i think working with milo on assignments would be a more calming experience than anything. i love him so much.
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i NEED milo bunbun to look more visibly deranged. i need to see what this man looks like when he's having a mental breakdown. i need to see what he looks like when he's so distressed that he's this close to offing himself. i need to see what his obsession would look like in full swing without eris's intervention. we already do get to see hints of it in the intro and first dates and true end, but i need to see further in. i need to see what his illness looks like at its most raw and ugly and visceral when it's not actively being used as a point of manipulation. i need to see him in his messiest, most vulnerable state so that i can show him that he can be loved in such a state. even when he feels worthless and unlovable, i love him. i love him. i love him. i love him.
#vivian.rpy#bunny love#i was kinda starting to depict him this way with my recent doodle. but i have SOOOOOO many ideas for drawings that take it even further#i just gotta have. time to draw#for the most part i just gotta power through today and tomorrow's work. and then there's some stuff the rest of the week#but anyways. i need to see him more deranged sooooooooo bad. i need to see him at his most neurotic prey animal#and i guess i gotta do the work around here myself. soooooo
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i never wanna be apart from you. i wanna live inside your blood, make a home inside your lungs and fall asleep to the sound of your heartbeat every night. i can be the parasite nesting in the warmth of your blood, the disease that loves you to the point of fever, and your pulse can be my new internal rhythm. i'll infect you so sweetly. i want to live inside of you, my love.
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sooooo excited for the emil scene in the update........ emil my lovely little brother emil
#vivian.rpy#honey milk#<- let's see how i vibe with this tag for him#idk why but i specifically associate honey desserts with emil and blue/blackberry desserts with thella
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oh yeah since i actually drew vivian art now i figure i'd edit together a new icon. the art itself is a bit low res compared to my usual canvas size so i hope it looks alright
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THE UNDERSTAND MY SHIP IN 5 MINUTES THING IS IN PROGRESS AS WE SPEAK GRAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! trying to finish it as quickly as possible before i go to bed
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i'd like for milo to hold me firmly by the waist
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