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#vapid. like instragram irl. i got there and dipped the fuck out
magnoliamyrrh · 2 years
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#thinking back my parents rly did put so much pressure on me lmao and had such a catastrophic mindset#i didnt get into the two top universities in this area (predictedbely bc theyre some of the best in the world and i was a exhausted#traumatized disabled immigrant kid lmao. my grades were good af and i did do some things but you need waaayy more extracurriculars and#other bullshit i just didnt 'enogh' of#)#but i got into uhhh. a series of other universities. of which i didnt go to the highest ranking one bc the vibe was absolutely#vapid. like instragram irl. i got there and dipped the fuck out#so. i went to this uni. which lmaoo when looking at the world ranking is still a damn good one. and i went to uni right after a suicide#attempt. when my anorexia and bulimia were still incredibly severe#... and my parents would tell me that there is no sense is doing uni at all and that its a waste of time#if im not in the top 5% at uni. 10% max lmao.#and theyd act too like thats such a reasonable thing to expect and that it should be easy? achievable????#and get so mad at me when id be like.... uhh that's a bit much#anyway lmao as per usual the pressure to get liberally straight As and the vibe that id be a pathetic piece of lazy shit if i didnt#on top of the physical and mental illnesses. made me crack lmao#and oh. how far i have fallen from that now#..... i rly love how for years and years on end the fact that i was clearly physically and mentally ill and even because disabled just#didnt fucking matter. st all
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