INDEFINITE HIATUS.

Fun fact: I’ve been trying to write this for over forty minutes, and nothing good is coming out of it, so I’ll just do what I do best and talk nonstop about my problems while trying to tell you about something (mildly?) serious. Maybe that’ll help. 

For those who don’t know, my main account, tyrionslannister – the one I had for almost three years and which contained most of my writing work, none of it backed up because I’m apparently really stupid – got terminated on the 8th. Tumblr emailed me back on Monday, but due to a problem with my email address, I don’t believe I’ll be getting it back, so I’ve been working on letting go of my hope lmao 

That blog was many things, but, most of all, it was my escape from real life. Lbr, roleplaying always helped me with that, and when I finally came to Tumblr I felt like I’d found a whole new world (Aladdin reference intended). I never thought I’d someday come here to say ‘hey everyone, thanks for the memories, but my time has come and I must leave’. At some point, this website became a priority in my life.

And I didn’t realize that until last friday, when I lost everything. Okay, it would’ve probably hurt either way, but it shouldn’t have sent me spiraling into one of the most awful anxiety crisis I’ve ever had. And I shouldn’t have been stressing over it for the past week. Losing work is awful, but as the person behind it, I know I can do everything all over again. I shouldn’t have treated it like the end of the world. Yet, here we are, and I’m being dramatic online again. Sigh.

The reason I’m writing this is: I entertained the idea of starting over with a new blog. I mean, I could do it all again. I could set up new themes and char blogs and continue playing all my beloved plots and ships, and I’d eventually forget about what I’d lost, or at least stop suffering over it. I could redo all my replies (ugh, I’d finally answered everyone after months, and then everything disappeared, because my life’s just that great). 

I could do that. But I won’t. 

I don’t know how many people know about this, but just a couple months ago I was rejected by my dream uni. That meant I had to do what I dreaded the most, and go back to school. My classes started last Monday, and that’s when I finally realized: I won’t manage it. Redoing replies, char blogs, the main blog itself... It’d take a lot of work and time I won’t have to spare. I have to actually focus this time, because if I have to do another year of school after this... Eek. Let’s not talk about that. 

With that said, I almost never gave up a plot before. And, tbqh, I don’t want to give up all of them. I love my characters as if they were my children. (Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration. I wouldn’t know, I don’t have kids.) So I won’t say I’m quitting, but I’ll be putting them on hold... For which will probably be the longest of times. 

I’m not sure about that, because I’m unpredictable as shit and it’s very possible for me to come back in a month and say, “you know what, fuck it” and just start rebuilding, but this termination has given me a new perspective, by which I mean it showed me I gotta get a grip on my life. I am almost sure I’ll be here reblogging ship insp and sending you drabbles from time to time, because this girl does not live without her drabbles. (I won’t post them privately on Tumblr this time, though. Who knows what they can do with this account.) But I can’t promise to be an active partner, at least not for the next 10 months or so. And that’s a hell of a long time, which is why I understand it if you wanna drop our plots. 

Aaaaand, while I don’t have time for Tumblr (so many things for me to set up!), I also don’t live without a few threads. So, if you’re the kind of person who plays through WhatsApp, *wink wink*. Hmu. We can work things out. (Although I’ll probably only answer monthly or some shit because I’m an AWFUL human being. God, I’m sorry.) 

Additionally, to partners & mutuals I just tagged here because I love talking to and don’t wanna lose contact, if you ever wanna hit me up but don’t know where else to find me (I deleted Tumblr from my phone, so I’ll also take a while to answer IMs here eep), I’m _laurahi on both Twitter and Instagram, laurahi8 on Pinterest, and  hissnake 🐍#8651 on Discord. And, of course, you can always message me for my number. :)

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