#u literally just made that shit up bc that's what YOU think???
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sum ghosts hc’s :3 pt 1–SFW
Once again back at it with my SAS wife cos my brain is rotting like disintegrating cotton candy so here are some headcannons i made (posted on ao3 but thought they deserved a bit recognition here too lol)
Now these are just some personal hcs ive made or seen that i liked;
the numbered sfw hcs are going to tie into the nsfw hcs, for clarification!!
SFW:
He loves music, like anything 70’s to 90’s in a sense? Like, sum pink floyd or shinedown (ik but it stuck after an ai chat and i cant fucking let it go-) nu metal, death/black metal, gothic metal, throw in some thrash/groove metal- anything with metal really
Onto my next point, he’s good at guitar, like really good, he has a gibson guitar he named (idfk what he named it, probably after you tho lmao)^1
He’s a straight up asshole, like, blunt calls everyone cunts, he’s just a a British as shoe dude what did you expect. But the funny thing is, if you end up cursing him out like a sailo he will find that as a major turn on ^2
Simple man doesnt like complicated food, just a normal burger and fries and he’ll be grateful. And if you cook good luck he eats like a bear (how else u think he’s bulky???)
He likes winter over any season bc its the opposite of where he’s been, though allergies/sickness do annoy the shit out of him cus he sneeze into his mask and it pisses him off
Likes milkshakes and i won't expand on that.
He’s a big softy for like small gifts, he may not show it but that macaroni necklace he called stupid? He has it on his night stand so it wont get ruined. You got a bracelet you gave him three months ago? He wears it everyday.
Pretty testing and bully-ish, but will just become a stuttering mess when you tame him, the slight blush peeing through his balaclava will give you enough lee way to make him fall in love with you
“blink mf.”
Stares down new recruits, no exceptions- when he sees you, he ends up staring more
Knows some ASL when he’s not exactly in a talkative mood (not gonna say non-verbal bc, i doesnt fit him? he’s just like middle finger up to say fuck you, thats his sign language lmao)
Pretty big book worm in his free time
Fast learner at anything, i imagine he has a hard time remembering shit bc of his trauma n shit will do that to ya, but if he watched something long enough he can get it down.
Likes some spicy food
Doesn't do video games, he just doesnt think their any fun
OMFG this man- he makes fucking BACON in his GRILLED CHEESE. I argued with him (literally only with a fucking AI bot like some looser but my point still stands;) about how that's an abomination, grilled cheeses are meant for, and paired ONLY with tomato soup, sometimes chicken noodle. but he believes it the most delicious thing, he’s not putting watered down ketchup next to his beautiful creation.
Stubborn and pouts easily, you say something he doesnt realize is a joke he hold onto that grudge. “Why are you so upset right now? What did i do?” He huffed, uncrossing his arms “you didnt hold the door for me and I slammed my face! You didnt even apologize!!” You blinked, lips pressing into a thin line “are you fucking 5.”
his love languages is more quality time than physical touch- but Jesus Christ this man will get clingy af once he trusts you (after he takes off his mask fully 4 the first time, he trusts you with his whole heart- dont break it pwease- hes hes jus a little guy)
Ok really like bully breed dogs, like his favorite.
loves to hold your hand, like if you wrap your hand around two of his fingers specifically, he’ll turn into a blush mess and so so prideful, (like big softy friendly giant who could totally crush you- and he’s like so gentle) ^3
Gives a lot of thought before he compliments you, like studies the way you do things- like, hair clips, clothes, colors, make up, shoes, etc etc, he loves to study your features.
Can cook- like, really good- but ends up ordering takeout or pizza cos he’s lazy
On his trips, like when he get deployed longer than a couple of months, he brings back sand for you from the places he’s been and you have a small shelf full of small files of the sand (unlabeled btw, you just know which is which)
tries not to get angry or lash out or get like, cold or distant with you bc he really cares he’s just scared of fucking up and you leaving once you see how broken he is
Does all those horrible jokes, his voice is slow and gruff and just- gravelly? Like, he talks like the Grimm reaper himself and makes a yo mama joke
Doesn’t know how to ask for attention so he’ll come up behind you and tug a strand of your hair or nudge you- shit he’s thrown pillows at you then stares at you with a straight face “cuddles.”
“Not arguing with a dude with big brown eyes. Like, whatever you say beautiful”
he loves eye contact wen talking about serious shit- like, complimenting you, or saying i love you, he wants you to look him in the face and understand how much he means it….yet you turn into a blushing stuttering mess when he does, and he laughs to himself ^4
Stares at ‘settings’ on his phone to avoid social situations. Argue with the wall.
in the thickest, most unintelligible, uninterpretable British accent possible “YA KNO’ WHAT YOU DIR’Y ‘ITTLE CUNT—”
Incoherent British slang, colonizer alphabet soup if you will.
plays hello kitty island adventure or cooking mama un-ironically
Can’t spell “gynecologist” (geneycologist/ gin-i-colo-gist) or “bologna” (balaonie/ balony)
If there’s ever a baby in the store or something, and the baby is staring at him, he’ll make funny faces (mainly cross his eyes and makes small sounds)
doesn’t think he’ll be a good dad, but still thinks about it- believes he’s not good enough for a family ^5
Anywho continue onto part 2 here for spic stuff you perv >:3
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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO#it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think#bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular#endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me#and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL#it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late#bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play#(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have#sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things#but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black#ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine#but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow#like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities#and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and#idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs#both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me#and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah#anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab#yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow#kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too#so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda#lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway
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im like that one marvel artist except instead of not being able to draw feet i'm constantly fighting an uphill battle of not drawing tits on my creature designs
#IT JUST ADDS SOMETHING!!#i think it's bc i grew up seein that kinda nudity everywhere in art#like visiting thai temples one time i saw a whole wallsized tapostry of a buck ass naked lady with like#a snake vagina or snakes coming out of it i think idk#and just statues and stuff everywhere#especially in china they LOVED making statues/fountains that looked like people pissing#if any1 ever goes to thailand be on the lookout for wooden dicks They're supposed to be good luck so a lot of cab/tuktuk drivers hang em up#lol#kinda makes me realize how sanitized the west feels in that aspect#stuff about bodies is inherently taboo/sexualized#and so are any depictions of it#watching documentaries made by american/british people where they censor tribal people's breasts. like Um freak? what the hell#it's their culture and shit why are you looking at it like that . it's literally just a bodypart Everyone has seen it#everyone knows what it looks like why are you tryna pretend#why are you so terrified !!!#also the censors cover like the entire screen so u cant even see whats going on#sorry i ranted#also growing up i jusr saw people walking around naked all the time so that too ig
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deathstar shippers stop going out of ur way to tell me you hate dominator being a lesbian and that you’re homophobic asf challenge (impossible, apparently)
#(cw: put under a read more for homophobia & transphobia 😬)#LITERALLY went ''lemme say the quiet part out loud'' BRO THIS IS LIKE THE 6TH(????) TIME I'VE HAD SUCH AN ENCOUNTER#except i will say that this is the first time it wasn't unprovoked. i did @ them first to ask why they were leaving replies on my posts-#-saying hater's crush on dominator is creepy bc they 'look like they have an age gap' meanwhile they've liked AND MADE#-comments elsewhere shipping her with men that are way WAY older than her and sometimes visibly so like. hater and her are the same agegroup#so i was like. what is going on here huh??? ANFD THEN THEY JUST SAY THIS SHIT why am i ever surprised anymore lmao#shout out to this person for adding transphobia to their shittiness for Spice ig /s 🙄 eugh...#i should've seen it coming bc they were referencing a page on the woy wiki THAT USES STEVENSON'S CORRECT NAME & PRONOUNDS#AND YET THEY WERE ADAMANT ON USING HIS DEADNAME AND SHE/HER PRONOUNS LIKE.. I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS but still 🤢#i dont ever wanna stop giving ppl the benefit of the doubt but oh my god do These people test me. every time. goes like this Every Single T-#on god only like twice or smthn have i seen [REDACTED] shippers be like.. very decent to me and literally just ignorant#and they were from here and i just ask them to not interact bc it makes me uncomfortable and they're like i dont get it but ofc#and i never see them again#AND THEN EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO IS INTO THIS SHIT I HAVE *EVER* COME ACROSS#FUCKING JUST... JUMPS INTO MY MENTIONS OUT OF NOWHERE. LITERALLY I DONT EVEN?? DO ANYTHING I DONT GO NEAR THEM BRO#THEY FUCKING SNIFF ME OUT OR SOME SHIT FOR HAVING A DNI ON OTHER SITES AND GO#''OH SO YOU THINK I'M WRONG FOR HAVING TO REIMAGINE GAY/LESBIAN CHARACTERS AS STRAIGHT SO I CAN ENJOY THEM?'' LIKE- WTF? YES? IT IS#also i kid you not this is an actual thing someone has gone out of their way to look me up and yell at me over for like an hour straiught#on twitter. it was unhinged. like they were convinced straight ppl are oppressed any time gay characters exist#bc gay characters existing makes them unlikable and unrelatable and unconsumable to straights like damn ok if u feel that way die abt it?#it's just so unhinged like bruh GO AWAY LMAO??? SHUT UP! I DONT CARE LITERALLY JUST KEEP UR FREAK BIGOT SHIT TO URSELF GET OUT#again that specifically doesn't apply to this person who technically WAS @ by me first bc i was like.. hey... hey what's going on here HUH#but oh my god they turn out to be vocally homophobic every single time. i was always hoping i was like...#over generalizing these people as being fucking homophobic just bc 1) the vibes r always like that 2) it's faster to say#BUT OH MY GOD THEY REALLY ARE HOMOPHOBIC AS A WHOLE WHAT THE FUCK I LITERALLY ALWAYS WENT OUT OF THE WAY TO BE LIKE aint no way ahah BUT NO?#BRO???? GET OUT OF HERE THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR YOU Y'ALL ARE CREEPS#THEY FEEL SO EMBOLDED TO SAY THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT PROMPTING. I ALWAYS MAKE FUCKING SURE TO NOT ACCUSE BIGOTRY#AT MOST I'LL JUST BE LIKE yeah so straightwashing is a thing that's homophobic so don't do that IF ANYTHING. I NEVER CALL THE PERSON THAT#AND EVERY TIMEEEE THEY JUST GO MASK OFF WITH ''BTW I DONT LIKE THE GAYS'' I OEIUFKGEJRHGUKJDFS EVERY TIME EVERY TIME WTFFFFF#usually being right about things is epic. not this THIS IS JUST.. GWORLS WHAT HE FUCK
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Read one or two fics where they give Duke a personality treat Damian like a human being and stop sucking Tim’s dick for 5 seconds and everything else feels like forcing urself to eat normal food after tasting the fruits of the fae
#the Duke personality in question is also not that stupid ass chaotic gremlin shit#I cannot even articulate why that bothers me but it’s been a Thing for years w/ white ppl who call themselves shit like trash goblins or#whatever#anyways yeah they just made Duke a person instead of soley writing to break apart from tropes they made up!#if ur ONLY writing Duke to get away from the normal one trope without knowing shit about him besides he jumped out a car#it’s just a bad bc ur still not saying anything#there’s less racial tension there since the normal stereotype has been a race thing forever#however when ur trope is ONLY based off the racial one idknoooow#anyways treating Damian like a human being is such a low bar#but that’s where we’re at#and stop sucking Tim’s dick is exactly what it sounds like#u can always tell when tim is the writers fave lmaoooo#even when THEY don’t think so#a lot of dick Grayson Stans don’t think they like tim as much as they do but literally everyone around you can tell#SAME WITH JASON STANS#also Damián stans that are only fans of his to go against popular fanon perception are just as annoying bc again U DONT KNOW WHO HE IS#EVERYTHING U SAY TO BREAK AWAY FROM THE FANDOM RACISM MEANS NOTHING#BC U REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE BASE OF THE RACISM AND STEREOTYPES IS A REFUSAL TO GET TO KNOW A CHARACTER THEY CANT RELATE TO#that’s gonna be it’s own post someday I cooked
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ok the past few years I’ve spent enough time around protestants (marrying pastors son) to confirm what I always knew: catholics are so much more chill than y’all fr
#catholic priests wanted to commit all those crimes but in return they made it so ‘ehhh nothings really that bad u can get forgiven easily’#but protestants are like oh no demons are fr and witches were out of control in the 90s#I grew up only knowing Jewish people and catholic people so as a result I am BAFFLED by people#being like oh Catholics are so intense like mass is more formulaic yeah but you believe in the rapture happening rn!#and weed puts demons in u!!#literally have been doing an informal poll w Catholics in my life bc my husband didn’t believe me and they’ve all been like#yeah demons were not mentioned once wtf y’all think that was LITERAL???#crazy shit!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway#I have GOT to talk to more Catholics again I miss us#thinking about this cause I read Marrying the Ketchups and realized how much I loved reading it written by a Catholic!#the narrative of Catholics being intense and protestants being chill is just bc they have acoustic guitar but guess what!#they have their songs memorized and we don’t!
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friendly reminder that even if youre open about something on your blog, even if you think its so obviously right in your about/description/pinned/whatever, most of the people who will interact with you are not even looking that far at your blog. they dont know your name or your pronouns or your disabilities or your interests or your credentials or whatever you think is just *so obvious* that they *must* be intentionally ignoring it just to hurt you. ESPECIALLY not if theyre a random stranger who youve never interacted with once before, has never interacted with you once before either, and has absolutely zero reason to care about you. its not a personal attack, its just a fact. this is literally the internet
#i am TIRED. yes this is a vaguepost idc#utter stranger shows up in my notifs DEMANDING i explain a simple little joke tag about me and my loved ones experiences#as if i owe them the slightest ounce of attention in my day#and then when i do explain my & my loved ones lived experiences. they get mad & say im using THEIR personal experiences as a weapon#like. i dont have the slightest clue what your personal experiences are! i dont even know your name!! and i dont want to nor do i have to!!#i dont mean this rudely. but factually: you are not important enough to me to care even a little bit about your experiences#i dont bring up suicide or addiction or any shit like that because its Your experience. bc i have no fucking idea what your experience is#i talk about those things because its MY EXPERIENCE. that IM TALKING ABOUT. in the tags of a post that doesnt belong to either of us no les#this is probably the last thing im gonna post abt this bc i know youre still up my ass looking at everything i post rn#but to finish off. i was never even making a Point about anything in the tag. i wasnt starting discourse about anything.#it was just an Acknowledgement of a shared experience that me and many of my loved ones have. whether u like it or not#like literally i dngaf if YOU personally wouldnt describe your experience that way. We do describe it that way! We can be different#i just made a silly little tag for my friends to see. and YOU decided that you were entitled to both hear my life story and blatantly#misinterpret everything i say about it. like literal 'how dare you say we piss on the poor' type shit#like. saying 'x can cause y' does not mean im saying 'y is literally x' fucking OBVIOUSLY. god#i didnt fucking ask for this! YOU DID!! YOURE the one who DEMANDED it of me unprompted#& clearly must have just gone looking thru the tags of posts for ppl to beef with lollllll#i mean cmon. you didnt follow me i didnt follow you and that wasnt even your post. theres no other explanation lmao its p obvious#anyway i hope u find a better hobby or at least a more fun and fulfilling way to use this website. sincerely#at least get some better critical thinking skills before picking stupid arguments with random strangers online#but hey! play stupid games win stupid prizes<3 right??#also one final note: to hear someone talking about the lived experiences of them and their real life loved ones and go 'hmm. sounds fake'.#its just giving Friendless. its giving 'how could anyone make fun art without doing crazy drugs!!'.#its giving 'Wait yall have friends irl? i thought it was just a joke'. its fucking hilarious and im gonna think about it forever#thank u for a lifetime supply of laughs godspeed
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cosmo wanda i fucking wish students understood that universities have limited reach and that public silence does not automatically mean no action is being taken internally and that the decisions of collectives / institutions do not reflect the decisions of all of the people within them (e.g. all faculty staff and administrators within an institution) etc etc. god DAMN it to hell. you people (not anyone reading this im saying this as if im talking to the student body at my school) look so fucking stupid @ing the social media accounts of distinct departments like that’s actually going to do anything. you think they ARENT doing anyrhing????? that’s probably ALL they’re focusing on rn and they’re spending days carefully gathering information so they can share it. and shit is hitting the fan in MULTIPLE areas rn if you haven’t noticed and also it’s winter fucking break so no one is even supposed to be working anyway. so what is wrong with you. why are you fucking making demands. getting a college to finally post an update about something is not the same as cancelling someone on twitter and the fact that so many of you think it is is indicative of how SICK our society has become. PLEASE calm down.
#purrs#literally about to start screaming. people have been so fucking stupid this year. that is all i am going to say.#and ik this bears a weight being a staff member here now but i was a student 6 months ago and years ago i used to do the same stupid shit an#and then i went to the retreat and learned that universities are communities made of people and that i can change the world by talking to#stakeholders and being strategic and patient and having civic courage and building relationships. and now i spend my life trying to teach#other ppl how to do that. so seeing students WHO I KNOW ARE AWARE THAT THIS ISNT THE WAY doing this makes me want to start SCREAMING. like#it was all for nothing. the HOURS of workshops you went through learning how to actually make change and ‘demand’ change and now you’re#engaging in this edgy bullshit. i want to curl up in a ball and/or jump out the window rn. sorry#delete later#work tag 2#this is literally the 5th or 6th incident in 2022 and i know it’s more complicated than that and yes there are genuine wrongdoings the#school / depts and individuals within it have committed. but also the knee jerk reaction of students to instantly turn into a mob and start#saying u*** does nothing u*** doesn’t care about it’s students is like are you KIDDING MEEEEEEEEE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. how about you talk to#x person who i know firsthand is trying to navigate this issue and suppprt students. how about you join x committee that just made progress#in this area. how about you get offline and go touch grass and realize your COMMUNITY isn’t out to get you!!!!#institutions are not inherently bad lol. institutions are communities. communities are POWER. if i could send one message to everyone on the#planet i think it would be that or at least include that bc i would also want to say stuff abt how we are real and human and alive together#etc etc. but that is like. something so many ppl do not see. being part of a university is POWER. being a student is POWER. so use it for#good!!!!! join committees! set up meetings with admin!!!!! join student gov!! this learned helplessness of @ing the school is NOT THE WAY#not when you have tools and relationships at your disposal to actually make a sustainable long term difference. what are you waiting for! th#the whole world is yours!! it’s at your fingertips! do you feel it? do you see it?
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just clicked on the tumblr app and it had logged me out of my account and when i logged back in it wouldn’t load my dash or blog until i closed entirely out of the app three times…..what if i scream directly into each and every staff members ears
#like i literally thought they fucked up my blog and deleted it or made me unfollow everyone idek it was spooky#also. still don’t have the fucking option to message Anyone and can’t reply to posts and it’s been over a week since i emailed staff#im so fucking angry lmfao i don’t even know what to do like do i email them again or no???????? do i just wait???? bc im sick of that shit#CAN ANYONE WHO HAS HAD THIS HAPPEN PLEASE HELP I THINK I GOT SHADOW BANNED FOR NO FUCKING REASON IDEK H E L P PLEASE#also i lost 3 followers since yesterday so that’s also So cool#if anyone can help i can get regular asks i just can’t send them but if you wanna use messages u can send them to my saved christmas url#@gingerbreadmunson PLEASE AND THABK U
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anyway. i am going to be SO incredibly livid and angry and throwing an absolute tantrum on thursday if i dont get good feedback on my script.
#and by good i mean anything actually helpful not just 'omg wow this is amazing' tho ofc that's acceptable too#like a month back now u. might remember that the day i was supposed to get feedback on my outline i literally ended up#holding back tears in class bc it was so. just. pointless and rude and genuinely not helpful#and last week everyone was soooo boring about the scripts that were due like no one was giving helpful critiques or anything#it was all just sooo insufferable u people are not being constructive about like actually helping someone develop their story or whatever#ur just being stupid. and by that i mean it. like they didnt even try to just understand the humor or worldbuilding of this one kid's scrip#t it pissed me off.#and i actually had fun with my script finally it's a first draft so u know it's gonna have its weak spots but eye had fun hanging out#w my girls <3 so. if people could attempt to be helpful this time around that'd be awesome.#like last time a few people made snide comments like 'um about this - well i can't even remember this one's name' hey girl. you could#probably look at the very contained outline i wrote that's right in front of your face instead of saying annoying shit like that to the#writer's face!#the vibes have just been off. that class was so fun for a while and lately it's been such a bitch fest.#they were so mean about mine and my friend's i think people r jealous that that's our bestie prof's class but like. he doesnt treat us any#kind of way you know. and he's supportive of everyone like u dont have to make this weird#sorryyyyy for complaining about what i THINK is wrong with everyone but like! idek how to deal with their passive aggressive shit anymore#they're mean to each other too sometimes#just gonna go crazy with it on thursday#abby talks
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Anyways I love futago siblings bc of the inherent drama to it & the complexity of feelings involved in it. And also I want futaba to suplex akechi in a sibling kind of way. It's not that complicated
#speculation nation#akeshu nation literally pardons him for trying to kill akira Twice#and youre caught up in futaba potentially forgiving him for killing her mom when he was 15#& context clues tell us that he was likely pressured into killing by shido?#it's not like hes doing this shit for fun. like ok he enjoyed killing okumura bc okumura's a piece of shit capitalist#but besides that. when we get to know him we learn that he wanted to be a hero when he was a kid#& that coupled with the way he acts in 3rd semester really paints a picture#he doesnt start killing again bc he doesnt need to. & Notably he stops trying to kill akira bc shido isnt pushing for that anymore#plus i dont think futaba has to forgive him for them to be friends. it will always be something present in their minds#but in the same sort of way of akira liking akechi enough that hes willing to give him the chance to atone for Shooting Him In The Head#i believe futaba could give him the chance to atone. or at least try to be a better person.#and i just think futaba would enjoy the excuse to limitlessly bully him.#the 'you killed my mom so u cant be mean to me' card. which she would pull a lot im sure#it wouldnt always work. especially if she overused it lol. but still.#and yea idk. i can get being uncomfortable with ppl trying to wave away the fact that he killed her mom#but when it's done right. i think it's quite a compelling relationship.#her seeing herself in him. recognizing the ways they are so painfully alike. & that pain being what pushed him to the lengths he went#her sympathizing with him doesnt mean Forgiveness. it's just a potential basis for connection.#god i just keep going on about this but that person made me literally so angry#dont post ur bad takes in main tag 2k22. i dont wanna fucking read them.
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literally sickens me that ppls criticisms of me even irl is that im not passive enough or that im too ill or too poor or whatever like .. do you really hate me soo much for no reason that you have to invent the most flimsy surface-level frankly concerning and invalid reasons you can for why i don’t deserve basic respect
#especially since I know my own faults down to a T so I’ll own up to it all the time if someone says something that’s genuinely ‘bad’ abt me#it makes me rly fucking sad and depressed lol.#this happens All the time but if I heard correctly my moms bf has some kind of issue w me that he won’t say#and I’ve narrowed it down to me either being depressed and having migraines (bc both come with pains and reserved mood)#or the fact that I have to live at home and subsequently have to Eat and he HATES that they have to spend money on me eating#even tho. i barely get anything bc they eat meat 3 times a day and I mostly don’t#so my daily menu literally consists of maybe a sandwich or a plate of food made from my own brain of some of the most random shit I can find#and it’s not that they don’t feed me or wtv it’s that he does that thing where he complains thinking I’m too stupid to understand what he#means but like I have 2 degrees I think I can decipher what you’re saying lmao#ik it comes from a place of insecurity bc he spends like £100 on alcohol a week and altogether the food I eat in 2 weeks doesn’t even#amount to half of that. but it’s still like. really lmao.#why does everyone always find these fucking issues w me#do you think I want to like. be sick and poor and be unable to find a job for a variety of reasons#do u think I don’t search all the time for ways to get out of here bc I know I’m not wanted like m#i get it!!!! the person I really liked and wanted to be with ditched me. my very best friend ditched me the week after. everyone has always#wanted to ditch me I get it !! im too much baggage and it’s all fun and games til I show signs of mental illness then everyone just leaves.#at least keep it on the downlow so it doesn’t make me feel more awful than I already do.#aweks.txt
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i had a dream with gerard. i miss it already and i just woke up
#so#i was in mcdonalds with my best friend and my bf. and they were saying that gerard was upstairs with some fans#but i didnt want to go upstairs and bother him or sum. so i just go and look for a table (were not actually tables and were school desks)#and in the second row i see him sitting there totally alone. he was like tbp era yk and he looked at me and idk what we talked#so i sit next to him and we start talking. but wait we are not talking like face to face which would be the obvious thing to do bc hes next#to me -we were talking via twitter. like he tweeted something snd i answered and so on. i dont remember exactly what he was saying but it#was very gerardesque bc in my dream i went like god hes really back on twitter this IS gerard. at a moment a fee fans were also answering#to his tweets obvs and there was like a conversation between me and g and the fans made comments and casually joined every now and then#we were joking with him ablut blood and he said something smong the lines 'i havent listened to all of my songs in some time but you guys#sound as if you listened to all the vynils and then consumed them with ur mouth and swallowed them' normal clearly#they bother him (friendly bc he isnt bothered) with saying shit like haha u r a kinky bitch and thats when he says that#and he says he doesnt even remember what he said in his songs because 'i have written so much' but that he does remember not writing about#girlhood and being a woman -he was joking. so i answer 'gerard. gerard. look me in the eyes' and say abt the times he sang abt girlhood#and i mentioned revenge and not that kind of girl and he laughs like uuuhh u got me i was just joking hehehe. then we continue talking but#now face to face. i ask him what he thinks about argentina (im argentinian and in the dream he was here) and he says he likes it a lot bc#1. its small (????? we are literally the 8th biggest country but okay??? i think he meant like buenos aires is very. narrow streets and cool#like the way its built its weird and unique) and 2. its the only place in the world where it frels like its still the 90s#i know we talked some more but i dont remember by now. next thing i know i am with my mother saying i need her to give me money#because they were playing a concert that night and she was like i cant#and i think i was like damn okay ill ask gerard themself if i can do it free if i go with them but then i woke up#rad. the first part felt very real btw#then i was just showing symptoms of illness and being chrinically online /j#but yeah. that i guess. i never remember when i dream eith him#music#mcr#emo#gerard way#we didnt even eat at mcdonalds we were just sitting there
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my class was discussing the short story today so we can get a feel for it since we're supposed to make an illustration for it and i accidentally channeled my inner literary analysis snob like its 12th grade english class again
#i know i said i was confused abt the story when i read it literally an hour before class started#but i WAS thinking abt it#and then my professor was talking abt it and every thing she said i was like NO??#she kept saying shit and in my head im like i dont agree with that at ALL omg#so i spoke up like this is what i think abt it actually#and then she derailed me and we stated discussing something pedantic and she was like i just dont want you to focus on this one aspect bc i#its not the main point#like yeah i know and im NOT she just derailed me ajd i absolutely had to correct her thinking 😭#the dead silence as i argued back and forth w her.....#someone spoke up to and said something else and i was like yeah yeah i agree#and afterwards he was like i dont want you to think i was like disparaging what you were saying bc i actually agreed with a lot of what you#were saying and i felt so vindicated#i was like no dont worry u made excellent points too im just argumentative#that was great tho i havent had a literary analysis discussion in a while#love arguing with teachers its my favorite passtime#michi tag#the story is rot by joy williams btw#professor kept saying she didnt think it was grooming and i was like ?????????? thats the pedantic shit we were arguing abt#like yes the grooming aspect is not the actual poimt but its lile a part of it that makes up the whole#and saying its not grooming i think undermines the rest of the story but whatever again not the point#just bothered me that she said it wasnt when it clearly is but whatever#dont even remember what i was originally trying to say anymore she seriously derailed me#by the end i was like why are we even discussing this 😭
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The reason y’all are so confused and baffled by fannita is that you still refuse to acknowledge how bad fatphobia is
#but to clarify#I don’t agree with her like she’s got a lot of internalized shit going on#but ppl saying they’re surprised she used to hold her tongue#or she didn’t realize she was also black or whatever#like no y’all treat fat people like shit and she clocked it#she wants to continue that cycle whilst also getting back at the ppl who benefited from it before her#the reason it seems so extreme and out there to you is bc u don’t understand how bad it was#like so many ppl saying ‘yes she was bullied but’#hold on right there#how much do you know about the bullying#bc the next words outta ur mouth are about to be some stupid common sense shit lmao#for example that person that was like nobody hated u bc u were fat it was the tarte tripe#fuck the tarte trip but also….can we be serious for 5 seconds?#don’t get me started on ppl using HER internalized racism to showcase their own to own her or some shit#like no I don’t think saying a darkskinned woman is on cocaine and would shoot up a school if she was white is correct to say actually#matter of fact that feels like some shit SHE would say#if that doesn’t explain it for you idk what will#like idk i feel like the reason there’s no productive convos on this is bc y’all still see her as a fat black Woman so y’all will still#treat her like shit and she KNOWS that - that’s what’s pissing her off sm#bc let’s be so so real rn#if some skinny lightskin was doing all this? cancelled for a week then it’s a ‘oh she was being real YALL cant expect’ yadda yadda#like ppl ignoring that there is colorism misogynoir and fatphobia factoring into how she’s treated bc it’s coming outta HER mouth is crazy#Like yes her problem is that she doesn’t get to be a shitty person bc of how she looks#and y’all are saying her looks have nothing to do with it she’s just a bad person#when we quite literally have decades hell entire lifespans of history proving that is not at all the cass#the way she looks didn’t change her public perception and y’all are tryna gaslight her and us by saying that perception never existed when#it’s that perception that made her want to change#and craziest part for her is that the audience she curates doesn’t tolerate that behavior bc due to that perception the ppl who feel safe#and accepted by her and her content are ppl like her- or at least like how she’s perceived#it’s like when ppl were surprised ppl didn’t fw Lizzo so quickly. like yeah the ppl she attracts don’t tolerate that behavior duh.
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i just think hes neat
#im basically just broly if he was smaller and shorter and whinier with elf ears#so what im saying is im basically broly and kish fused dsfnbvsvdhgfshgdgfhv#kish minus all the weird creepy shit#maybe links in there too. oh oh and beast boy obvs.#idk who else#maybe a hint of goku bc im worried i have the same dumb drive to challenge myself and push my limits or whatever#at least i wont endanger my family............................................................ right? right???#my bf was wondering why i identify w broly bc of him blowing up that one planet or whatever#(never mind the entire galaxy he blew up tho ig) but thats obviously not the reason.#its the whole 'becoming an invincible destructive force of nature that has bouts of wanting to Break Things often and usually bc#of being pushed to that edge by other people' thing#you dont get it u-u i need to go to one of those places where i can SMASH shit u--u. im just that kinda guy u---u.#and sometimes it is fun to imagine smashing ur enemies even though you probably would never do that and in fact imagining it#satisfies you enough kinda deal yaknow#as cheesy and on brand as it is for me rn i just love destroying shit and i always have im sorry im this way blame god ik i have been#maybe he shouldnt have made the sound of rocks crumbling and glass breaking etc sound so good huh? ya ever think of that??#anyways i find when i suppress these emotions it just boils up until i explode which i think only leads to more of a chance of me actually#hurting someone instead. when i pretend to be cute and flowery and people pleasey- it only makes me more resentful. but thats the#only version of me people seem willing to tolerate. and i dont think they realize how much THAT makes me resent them too#im not an innocent frail delicate uwu bean i will literally eat you 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪#idk. its not like i want ppl to fear me either. but sometimes it feels like thats the only way to stop ppl from disrespecting me#maybe if ppl didnt assume me being nice and Not trying to start fights is a sign of being weak maybe i wouldnt feel like its necessary#to intimidate ppl to scare them away from me.#i promise babe you are Not getting away with it- i just know better not to start a scene. especially among other whities like me#yall will be vocally violent about whoever behind their backs over and over and if im the guy who actually confronts you suddenly im#the only one being an asshole. im simply playing YOUR game with you. you wanna be dishonest and hide behind a fake smile then so will i#and ill just sit here and wait until you break. and then everyone can call you crazy and confrontational instead!#i hate white people (yes ik i am a white people... doesn't mean i cant hate the way a lot of white ppl act)#things could be so much easier if you weren't a coward and just spoke your mind about how you distrust me and how quick you were#to find reasons to back up your mistrust. we coulda ended it there and avoided eachother. but now we gotta pretend we like eachother ig.
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