#two old chronic issues are both flaring up. after over a year of being *significsntly* better. not completely better. I still had flare ups | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-trans-dragon · 1 year

Text

Honestly heartbroken that I’m not allowed to walk around or lift stuff at work, because the constant physical exertion was so healthy that I was only getting injured once a month or so instead of every other day, and for the first time ever the cold didn’t hurt

I got scolded constantly for going outside without a jacket or hat but I couldn’t help it. It was cold, and the cold was so unpleasant, but it didn’t hurt and I couldn’t stop standing in the below-freezing southbound wind letting the air feel numbing and icy and sharp but not like my skin was about to explode

And now I can’t get enough physical exercise because I really need hours of it, and I don’t have time for that on top of a job I’m not allowed to move at, and it’s 68 degrees in the house and it’s so cold it feels like I have the flu

God it was so amazing to experience winter without debilitating pain. I would have stood outside even longer if I’d known I might not experience it again.

Maybe next winter.

#sorenhoots #sad sad sad sad sad #two old chronic issues are both flaring up. after over a year of being *significsntly* better. not completely better. I still had flare ups #but they were less often and less awful #and I fucking cried with happiness when I realized I might be able to *go on a walk* again without my knees feeling like they were going to #dislocate #and I’m trying to tell myself. you got healthier once and you can do it again #but I don’t know how. I don’t know what job to get that will keep me healthy #you can’t put on your resume ‘I have chronic body-forgets-how-to-work disease and it’ll make me absent sometimes but as long as you let me #do a self-moderated amount of physical labor I’ll be fine’????#where can I work where I’ll be allowed to do all the physical work when I’m feeling good but allowed to do less physical work when I need a #break?#then again everywhere is understaffed and management isn’t able to monitor their dwindling employees so maybe I just should pick something #I like and try to fit in enough cardio and walking to keep my body glued together #idk… but I’m less sad after thinking out loud in the tags so that’s good

3 notes · View notes