what the fuck is "some markdown"

GENUINE QUESTION what the fuck is this?? i never used to get this and now i do??????? i dont wanna add to posts tumblr i want to lurk around and use only tags or something fr....

How could he? She couldn't wrap her head around it, her innocent best friend. What had he become? She failed to recognize him anymore. Why couldn't he see she had no choice? How could he believe that she didn't love him that she didn't care. How could a strong, brilliant lawyer reduce himself to a wayward drunkard? Throwing around words that staked her heart. Categorizing women like he did. Did he really mean what he said? She knew he had women issues and trust issues but didn't he say he thought differently of her? And now it had boiled down to a woman shouldn't have a mind of her own, she should graciously take what her husband had to offer and in return keep him happy in bed. That was her best friend's suggestion to her, for a happily married life? How could he think she would be happy with Aditya, and with Shravan's barbed and vengeful suggestions? She knew the one thing she would never be, was happy. As if all of his words weren't enough, he flirted with that gold digger and took her to his room? To enjoy? What did that even mean? Did he really change so much in all of his years away? Did he have one-night stands? Did he throw around sex like it was a commodity? Was the letter she found really just a caricature of the past that could have been? "What have you done Shravan! Why?" She yelled looking at the skies. She had walked for quite some while but home was still a distance away. She took in her surroundings; it was deathly silent, not even the sound of wind rustling the trees. She saw the park Shravan and her would often visit. Her feet off her own accord took her to the garden where she sat exhausted on the lawn. It wasn't the walk that had fatigued her. It was life. All her life she kept running, from fear, from hate, from the love she was deprived, from loneliness, from her own mistakes, she ran. Her exterior was that of a very strong lady where in reality she was all but broken. What kept her going all of these years was Nanu and her best friend whom she had fallen hopelessly in love with. Waiting for his return gave her the strength to get through each day. Sure she pushed him away these past few weeks, but that was his father's bidding. Tonight all was lost. He was gone. She didn't know this Shravan Malhotra. Who even was this guy? What had he done to her Shravan? She realized there was no point anymore. Shravan was beyond redemption and she was to be married to his step brother, oh how fate plays! "Bohot dard hua hoga na aj tumko Shravan?" She spoke caressing his picture on her phone. He smiled innocently at the camera with sparkling eyes. How had life changed so much in a matter of a few days. His smile was lost. His eyes now only held pain and torment and she was in part responsible for it too. "Kaisa lag raha hoga tumko seeing your mother's beloved child get everything that was rightfully yours?" Suman sighed in pain. It was getting late and cooler. Her mental faculties told her it was best she returned home. Delhi wasn't exactly a safe place. But she was so wary she could barely get back on her feet. She caressed her stomach where Shravan had held her harshly. She could still feel the burning sensations his touches always seemed to invoke. She felt the soft skin of her neck where his stubbled chin had rested. It wreaked havoc in her senses. At that point she could only manage to croak a simple "Shravan you're hurting me.." When in fact all she wanted to do was stay in his arms forever, safe and secure. No sooner had the though crossed her mind she imagined the white saree gold digger in Shravan's arms. Shravan doing everything she wanted him to do unto her. It made her cringe. Did he really? Could he? Sleep with her? Fresh tears made their way down her damp cheeks. She let the sobs break through her body unhindered. Why was life being so cruel to her? There was nothing left in her to crush. The rustling of bushes behind her made her senses go into overdrive. She looked around and saw nobody. She decided it was probably wind till she heard footsteps come closer to her. The darkness made it impossible to see who it was. She knew she should run but her feet refused to budge. As fear grew in her so did the approaching footsteps. From the shadow and gait she could make out it was a man. Her brain kicked in, she sprang to her feet and ran for her life. She could hear the man running behind her. "Aaahh!" Her heels broke. Damn shoes! Terrible timing. She took them off in a swift motion, threw them and started running again only this time it was difficult for she had twisted her leg. The figure was approaching her faster than she imagined. The dim streetlights did nothing to give away his identity. "RUKO!" She heard him bellow. She thought she almost imagined him yelling. She was so out of breath she could pass out. She unlocked her phone and called the one person she was sure would never let any harm come to her. "Pick up! Pick up! Shravan please! Damn it!" The call rang through and got cut, she redialed and while looking at her phone she misjudged a pothole and tumbled. The fall caused her phone to fling out of reach. She saw the man approaching faster and faster. She clutched her feet close to her torso and buried her face. She was sure the worst had come upon her. She wasn't able to move with the pain in her foot and so she gave in to fate. The man, she heard stopped right in front of her. She had never felt her insides grip so bad with fear. She felt him go behind her as he kneeled. "Please... Please mujhe jaane do..." She whimpered. The man however was relentless. He roughly grabbed her midriff and thrust her into his torso. "Please no.. let me go she tried fighting him. She delivered a few blows in his stomach with her elbows. He held both her hands in his massive fist so easily as though she was negligible a resistance. "Chodo!" She yelled as the man buried his face in the crook of her neck and placed an open mouth kiss on the base roughly. "Ahhh.." She cried. "Did that hurt?" He asked. Even in her torment and fear she would have to be dead to not recognize his voice. It was then she looked up at his face. She should have been angry but relief washed over her entire being as she let go of all her restraint and collapsed into him. Her back rested on his torso as one of his hands held her hands firmly while the other held her stomach tighter as he pulled her further into him and let his head rest in the small of her neck. He let her calm herself against him. He drew mindless patterns on the soft skin of her stomach. The heat rose in her. "Shra..van.. pl..ease.." "Please what?" asked he as his fingers travelled lower down her belly. Suman gasped as her heart picked pace. "Ple..ase..." "Please what Sumo? Please stop? Please take me? What?" It was then that Suman realized they were in the middle of the road, she was someone else's fiance and he had been sleeping with someone else. "Chodo mujhe!" "Really! From Please Shravan to chodo mujhe. Weren't you basking in my embrace love?" He taunted as he nibbled at her ear. "Shravan! Nahi! Chodo!" She tried futilely to get out of his grip. He reeked of alcohol. "Chodo". "Sumo, lets face it. If I want to I can take you right here and you would be able to do nothing. But you know what, I won't. You know why? Cause your sorry ass isn't worth the effort." Suman felt disgusted. He just kept falling lower and lower. He let go of her roughly as she stumbled forward. Shravan got up from behind her and stood before her with his hand outstretched. "Chalo.." Suman looked at him in disbelief. He put her through all of this and now he's offering help. "Shooting daggers isn't actually going to kill me, well I wish it did, but it won't. So quit it and let's go. Because of your crazy marathon my car is still outside the park. We'll have to walk it out." "So all of this is my fault isn't it?" "Hell yeh? Who's else could it be?" "You came in stealth mode I freaked out." "As if you didn't hear me yelling Ruko Ruko!" "Yes well in fear I'd know it's you?!" Shravan smiled painfully. "That's the whole thing you know. Fear or otherwise you just don't know me." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You'll never understand." "Make me.." "Doesn't matter anymore." He said flatly. "I'm sure it doesn't. Why are you here then?" "I don't need to answer. Get up." "The hell you do! Why are you here if it doesn't matter! And who are you to throw orders at me." "Why yes! I forgot. I am a nobody. I'm not your friend, I'm not your foe, I'm not the guy you're marrying. I'm just no one to you. But our families know each other and no matter how much of a bas**rd I am, I would not leave an injured girl alone in the middle of the night in the middle of the road. Suppose something was to happen to you, I'd have another burden to carry. So don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for me!" "Oh! So you're merely a selfish assh**e?" She asked astonished. "That is correct." He said plainly. "So if you have so much of respect for women, why did you sleep with that girl?" "What is it to you? I'm a nobody, a selfish assh**e, a bas**rd who sleeps around with women. One you thought was here to rape you. One you so ardently tried to get away from and succeed. What is it to you now? Mai kuch bhi karoon. It's not your blo**y business." He hissed. She could see the pain. She could see his torment. He was letting himself fall. He was taking the fall. He was being the bad guy. This was some sort of twisted self-preservation plan of his. No matter what he said, it was spite. No matter she was marrying someone else, she loved him. And he was killing himself with every last figment of his strength. She feared for he succeeded in everything he set his heart on. If he set his heart on killing himself, then she was sure he would die and she wouldn't have that. She took his palm, which was still outstretched and got up with his support. He put his arm around her and held her firmly to him. "Can you walk?" "Yes." She asserted meekly. They set out towards the park. With each step Suman's whimpers increased. "I've had enough." Grunted Shravan and lifted her up in his strong arms. "Let go of me!" she struggled having absolutely no effect on Shravan. "Let go!" "Aj nahi Sumo! Aj nahi!" The timber of his voice and the authority it held made Suman simply give in. It felt so perfect. This is all she had ever wanted. All she had ever expected out of life. Sharvan, was her dream. Little did she know, it was his dream too... Waqt ki qaid mein zindagi hai magarChand ghadiyan yahi hai jo azaad haiChand ghadiyan yahi hai jo azaad hai Inko kho kar meri jaane jaan aaUmr bhar na taraste rahoAaj jane ki zidd naa karo They reached the car and Shravan tried opening the door with his fingers, "Sumo, darwaza khol do please.." He looked at her when she didn't respond. Her eyes were shut, face buried in his chest and her petit fingers clutched his collar tightly. "Sumo?" She still didn't respond. Fear gripped him, Sumo had passed out? "Suman, Sumo! Utho!" He placed her by the car and fetched a bottle of water. Sprinkling some water he shook he back to consciousness. "Tum theek ho?" He asked holding her to him. "Ab theek hoon..." Shravan looked at her with all the love he had. But he knew this was wrong. She was never his. "Chalo mai tumhe ghar chodd deta hoon.." He began to stand up when Suman held his hand and nudged her head in the negative. He simply got up, opened the passenger side door, scooped her up carefully and placed her on the seat gently. He made sure she was comfortable and her seat belt was well in place. He got into the car and began driving. "You really shouldn't drive when you're drunk Shravan.. Actually you shouldn't drink at all.." Shravan didn't respond. She couldn't handle the silence. "I said something Shravan." "And I heard." "Why didn't you respond?" "You wouldn't have liked the answer..." "Which is what?" she pressed. "Why do you care!?" He whispered. She didn't reply. "Your silence says its all Suman. Even if there is a fragment of you that cares, you wouldn't care enough to voice it." "Suman? Why did you call me Suman?" "That's your name isn't it?" "That's not what you've called me in a while now.." "At least I'm calling you Suman as off yet.." "What do you mean?" "Don't be so naive Suman!" Growing a bit agitated. "I don't understand what you mean.." Shravan jammed the breaks, the car skid a bit but he got control over it. Calm as death he turned towards her and spoke in hushed but angry tones. "You don't understand is it? Are you really this stupid or all of it is pretence? Why are you calling me Suman? Why won't you be calling me?" He mimed. "Let me spell it out to you. Cause in a week's time you'll be married to the man that stole everything that was mine. I won't call you Sumo anymore cause I have no right to. Who snatched the right? That would be you! Why won't I be calling you at all in the future? Cause what makes you think that husband of yours will approve or that I would talk to someone else's wife, a woman I once loved! Only you Suman! Only you could skin and gut a person alive in one moment and then ask him why does he hurt so!" Shravan sighed. "I believe that answers all your questions. Cause there is really nothing more left to say." "If you were so hurt why were you sleeping around?" Shravan let out a pained laugh of disbelief. "That's all that matters to you right." "Jawab do na..." "It doesn't matter. None of it does. I'll be gone tomorrow. This is the last time you have to deal with me. The last time you will have to tolerate my presence in your vicinity. I'm leaving for London, and I swear I will never come back. Never cross paths with you. I'd rather die than see you married to someone else. So all of your questions will be unimportant, for why would a man that is a no one to you matter? Someone you'd never meet again can sleep with whom ever for f**k sake and wouldn't make a difference." Suman couldn't stop the tears from spilling. She had hurt him beyond any point of return. She heard his heart break and hers with him. Haaye mar jaaenge hum to lut jaaengeAisi baaten kiya naa karoAaj jane ki zid naa karo Shravan drove them back to Tiwari Killa. "Our journey ends here. I trust you can walk into your home by yourself." Said Shravan not looking at her. She nodded and took her leave. As Shravan saw her heading away from him, he felt his life slip out of his hands slowly. As Suman walked with heavy feet away from him, she felt her heart constrict. Why was life so cruel they both thought? Suman entered home and shut the door behind her. No sooner had she closed him out he cried. The prospect of loosing her, the thought of never getting to see her again was already making his living difficult. Her being someone else's, oh he could die right now. He said what he said, he did what he did to extract an answer out of her. To have her say she loved him. But none of it happened and he felt disgusted of his being. Writer: Orion23

http://jodifiction.blogspot.com/2019/07/shraman-os-aaj-jaane-ki-zid-na-karo.html

Something new I’ve been working on

Teaser: Child of Earth and Sea

The story isn't posted yet, but here's a bit of a teaser. ~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~ The Child of Earth and Sea A Purity Collaboration By WhisperingWolf Prologue Darkness surrounded her, soothing her with the familiar weightlessness she had once known so well. She wasn’t breathing, her lungs weren’t moving, but she wasn’t frightened by it, didn’t suffer for it. Opening her eyes, she studied the world around her, the fragments of shadows and light thrilling her as she waited, holding still despite the rioting storm of anticipation inside her. She could feel the vibrations in the soft sands beneath her, the ocean bottom cushioning her, as the water slipped past her, around her, gliding over her like so many silk ribbons. It was there, coming up behind her, the water trembling against her thick skin, as she felt the ashika drawing closer, racing toward her, only to shoot past her as he spiraled ever higher. There was a burst of excitement, her muscles tightening and releasing as a restless energy surged through her that was too much to hold back, and with one great beat of her flukes she lifted from the sands below. The water parted, her flippers and dorsal fin slicing through the sea as bubbles formed around the seam of her mouth. Her muscles contracted as she beat her flukes harder against the sea that held her, chasing behind her friend as they raced through the water, spiraling higher and higher, the darkness of the ocean depths growing lighter until she could see the sparkling array of sunlight glinting off the surface of the water above. The cry she released was full of excitement and joy as she broke through the surface, air exploding from her blowhole as she released the breath trapped inside of her, water falling around her, as she took in a deep breath and crashed back down into the ocean below. She rose again, breaching the water as she jumped higher, rolled to land on her side, felt the water slapping against her body as she played in the ocean. It was a vague sense of amusement she could feel from him that made her laugh, made her release a sing-song sound as she clicked and squeaked, talking to the ashika – the sea lion youkai – she called friend. He followed her down into the depths, diving next to her following her every turn as she spiraled and flipped, moving faster as she rose higher, certain that she would be able to do it this time, and shrieked with happiness as she broke through the surface, flying higher as she flipped once, twice, three times before diving back down into the water below. Laughter came from her in the pattern of her squeaks, the stuttered clicks, when her friend rammed the side of his body against hers, and she rolled in the water as she enjoyed the freedom of being able to play. Unlike their animal cousins, it was an unspoken understanding among marine youkai, that while they may hunt together, play together, they never hunted – never ate – each other. Rolling her eyes when she looked over to see the ashika in his humanoid form, she dove beneath him, lifting him on her back behind her dorsal fin, as she rose higher to bring him to the surface of the water where he would be able to breathe. “I have missed you terribly, my friend,” he said to her, and she gave a low sing-song cry, the sound making it clear that she didn’t understand how he could miss her when she was there with him. “It has been centuries since you last swam in your true form, joined me in the play we once enjoyed so much. I do not know if this is my dream or yours, but I do know this,” he said, and she felt her mind slow at the sensation that she was floating, the air surrounding her as the water left her, her form smaller, more delicate. Gone were her fins, and in their place, were tiny arms with smaller fingers extending at the ends. “She is waiting for you. It is time, Chyokohime. The grief you once knew will be gone, a distant memory, replaced by the joys of being the mother you’ve always wished to be.” “Ashika!” she called to her friend, darkness surrounding her once more, and heard the rolling chuckle of his easy laughter. “Do not be afraid!” he called to her as she felt the world around her spin. She felt as though she were moving, flying, the air around her propelling and cushioning her as easily as the sea once had, and though she was certain her eyes were open, she could see nothing but darkness all around. “I knew who each one of you were before you came to me, before you were ever inside of me.” “Mother?” Amaya gasped, shaking her head as she tried to understand. “It is the power of the Kujira, a gift from Susanoo-no-Mikoto, the God of the Sea,” her mother told her. Amaya felt her mind still as she tried to remember the conversation from so long ago. The words she and her mother had shared almost a decade before she had been sent on her hundred-year long journey to explore the oceans and all there was, to explore the kingdom that was theirs and all that lived within. A century before she had first seen Satoshi, before she had made the choice to leave the ocean against her mother’s wishes, in spite of her mother’s rage, following the demands of her heart even when she hadn’t been certain that Satoshi had felt the same. She had known her life was meant to be with him, to be on land, long before her youkai voice had ever spoken the truth to her, with a certainty she couldn’t deny. It was a time of innocence, when she had been curious about the one her mother had told her she was betrothed to from the southern oceans. A time when still believed her mother’s fairytales – her lies. “You will dream of the child you carry, the one you will keep, before they ever live inside you. The spirit of your child will come to you, greet you in your dreams, long before you become pregnant. It is the way of the Kujira,” her mother said, her words somehow wistful. “We see what will be, in our dreams, in the stillness. We are connected in a way that no other youkai knows or can understand. Our minds and our hearts are connected to each other, our youki interwoven as one. All that we are and all that we can be is all of us together and each of us alone. We are many, and we are one. It is the way of Kujira – all Kujira, but we – shachi – have always been stronger.” The sound of her mother’s voice faded away as the words haunted her, looping in her mind as she felt the warmth of the sun on her skin and let her head fall back, turning her face up to the sky above as she opened her eyes. Strands of gold fell down in delicate ribbons and wisps through the canopy of the trees, the leaves lit from behind by the sun. The scents of wood and earth, grass and wildflowers, surrounded her, cossetted her as the breeze slipped past her, lifting her midnight strands to dance in the air. Pine and magnolia, cotton, blackberries, and orange blossoms perfumed the air, wrapping around her as she dropped her hands to the forest floor, leaning back against the tree behind her as she closed her eyes, smiling as she listened to the crunch of leaves and twigs. It was Satoshi’s rare talent that allowed these plants to grow around her, sharing the same space in the forest that they wouldn’t be able to if he didn’t possess the ability to bid the earth to grow as he did. She had never met an earth youkai – or any land-dwelling youkai – before him. She didn’t know how truly special he was until she had learned that he was the only one able to do what he did. She laughed softly as she felt the leaves beneath her hands tremble and shift, thick green stalks rising from the earth to stand between her spread fingers. Opening her eyes, she turned her head to watch the emerald shafts rise higher only to culminate in a twisted bulb at the top. Leaves of green flared out to the sides as the golden trumpets of daffodils blossomed beside her, and she smiled as she cut through one of the reedy stalks with her claw, lifting the flower to bury her nose in the delicate petals. She blinked, a smile twisting her lips, as she watched over the curve of the golden flower as the young girl darted in front of her, tripping herself, as she rolled to lie in the leaves and grass. Her walnut hair, shot through with highlights of sorrel and burnt honey, fanned out across the ground around her, her porcelain cheeks flushed with coral as she laughed and lifted her hands high into the air, only to let her arms fall to the forest floor on either side of her. This child was full of light and laughter, barely older than five or six, and Amaya laughed when the girl turned her eyes to her, her breath catching in her throat. The girl’s eyes, swirling green with flecks of gold and white – meadow grass – they were her father’s eyes. “Mama!” the girl called to her, and Amaya couldn’t silence the laughter that came from her as she watched a young lamb race toward her daughter, the tiny creature bleating as it called to its friend before it, too, tumbled to roll in the leaves and grass. “Snow!” her daughter cried happily as she rolled to her side, hugging her arms around the creature that was only too happy to snuggle against her. “Mama, can Snow stay inside with me tonight? Ple-e-e-e-e-e-ase!” “Vanessa,” she laughed as she shook her head. “Where would you put her?” “In my bed!” the girl cheered happily, and Amaya shook her head as she looked up at the long shadow that fell over them both. “Papa!” Satoshi sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Did I hear you correctly, Vanessa?” he asked, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “You want Snow to sleep in your bed tonight?” “Yes!” the girl cheered, and Amaya shrugged when her mate turned his head to meet her gaze. “Do you remember what I taught you?” he asked their daughter. “Do you remember how to create a door in the wall of your bedroom, so that Snow can get outside if she needs to?” “Yes!” Vanessa cheered as she rose to stand, and jumped around in a circle, bounced on the balls of her feet. “I hold my hands on the wood and I close my eyes, and I ask the wall to turn soft, and then, when the hole is big enough, I let it become hard again.” “Go make the door for Snow, and then come back to us,” he instructed her as he knelt down. “Once that is done, and I know that Snow can fit through it easily, then you can take her inside.” “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Vanessa cried out as she ran to her father, kissing his cheek before darting back to the house behind them. “Six years old,” he said as he moved to sit next to Amaya, and she smiled as she tipped her head back against the tree behind her. “You know she believes quite firmly that we are faeries and that we live in Ferngully,” Amaya told him with amusement, laughing as she shook her head. “Whatever gave her that idea?” Satoshi asked, a bewildered smile turning his lips up at the corners, the white and gold flecks in his green eyes sparkling with mirth. “Considering that we have the cabin by the road we live in during the winter, but the rest of the year we live out here, far removed from anyone else, in the home you grew for us from the twisted roots and braided ferns?” she asked in return with a teasing grin. “Faeries?” he repeated with a laugh. “Well, at least fae folk are closer to youkai than demons,” he said, and rolled his eyes. “Does that make me the Faery King?” he asked, and Amaya laughed. “I think so,” she agreed, and looked back when she heard the pitter patter of her daughter’s running footsteps, and the tiny stuttering hoofbeats of the lamb she’d befriended. “Mama!” the girl shouted, laughing as she darted closer, and ran to sit in her mother’s lap, Snow bleating as Vanessa lifted the lamb to sit in her lap, and wrapped her arms around the creature. “Yes, my darling?” Amaya asked with a chuckle. “Someday,” Vanessa said with a dreamy smile. “I’m going to grow roses.” Amaya gasped as she sat up in her bed, the blankets falling to her lap as the dream faded into the recesses of her mind. Tears of joy and disbelief stung her eyes, as she covered her mouth with her hand, taking comfort from the soft thrum of her mate’s youki. Even as he slept next to her, their youki were tied together, braided around each other as the energy rose and fell in an endless pulsing wave that had no beginning, no end. Breathing in deeply as she opened her eyes, she turned her gaze on Satoshi, watching him as she slept. Centuries ago, longing so deeply for the telepathic connection of the pod she had left behind, Amaya had taught Satoshi this skill, the ability to speak through his youki. He had been confused, rejecting the very act of it as first, until he had felt the connection, the bond. It was as easy and as effortless, as breathing for him now, she thought, a smile tipping her lips as her mind drifted back to the night she had first began his instruction. Satoshi shook his head as he stood from the dirt floor of the wooden hut, turning away from her as he paced to the end of the room and back. Amaya winced at the abrasive feeling of his youki, the way he instinctually tried to put up a barrier around himself, and she shook her head. “This isn’t . . .” He fell silent with a sigh, turning to look at her as the rhythmic drumbeats began to sound, the elder men of the village they had been welcomed into in Vanuatu calling the young men of the village to rise with the coming dawn. “What you’re talking about, Amaya, what you want to teach me to do, it isn’t done.” “It was among my people. It . . . For Kujira, we are connected by our minds and our hearts. Our youki ebbs and flows around each other. I want that connection with you. I promise, Satoshi, I promise you it’s not bad,” she said, watching as he closed his eyes, regret darkening his expression as he released a heavy exhalation, not quite a sigh. “It’s not that, I just . . . “ He moved back to sit in front of her, facing her, as he reached out to touch her face, bringing her close for a chaste kiss. “There was a youkai my father knew, ancient, even by youkai standards. He used to tell these stories, said that youkai used to be able to hear the thoughts of other youkai – not their youkai-voices, but their actual thoughts and not just of their mates, but that the ancient leaders put an end to it.” Amaya frowned as she shook her head. “Why?” “I don’t know, they considered it a threat, I guess. I . . . “ He shook his head as he closed his eyes. “I’m doing it again,” he admitted. “I’m shutting you out, aren’t I?” Amaya ducked her head, looking down at her hands folded around the carved wooden cup in her lap. What was she supposed to tell him? Did he want to hear how alone she felt, that even though they were mated and she was with him, that she didn’t truly feel connected to him the way she wished to? To say any of that felt like useless whining. She pushed down her emotions, swallowing back the darkness of isolation that clouded her heart, reminded herself to smile as she looked up to meet his gaze. “It’s all right,” she assured him, blinking quickly to stave off the tears stinging behind her eyes. “Sometimes, I forget that I’m a land-dwelling youkai now. I still have a lot to learn. Like hugging and – “ “Amaya,” he cut her off, reaching out to hook her chin with a crooked finger, turning her face toward him when she glanced away. “I can feel your emotions, that’s the bond of true mates,” he reminded her as she met his gaze. “I hate it when you try to make things like this okay for me. Do you think I can’t feel it when you hurt so badly you want to cry, but you smile for me instead?” “I can’t ask you to change for me,” she denied him. “You left the ocean for me,” he reminded her incredulously, his brows furrowed high on his forehead. “You think I don’t know how huge that was for you? How painful it was?” He let his hand drop as he held her gaze, the furrow between his brows smoothing out as his gaze softened. “How painful it still is? I would do anything to take away your pain, and if learning this will do that, then teach me, Amaya.” Her lips trembled, the tears stinging behind her eyes blurring her gaze as they overflowed, slipping down her cheeks. “Close your eyes,” she whispered, unable to speak any louder. “When you feel me reach out, return it, touch me with your youki the way I touch you.” She took in a deep breath, reminded herself that he was willing to learn, as she fought against the memory of his earlier rejection. Her eyes fell closed as she unfurled her youki, reaching out to gently brush it against his, twining her energy around him. She opened her eyes when she heard his gasp, met his wide-eyed gaze as he began to respond slowly, his youki reaching out to her in return, twisting and braiding around hers. She relaxed finally, her tears falling faster as the connection she had yearned for for so long was finally hers to behold. She guided him slowly, the soothing flowing thrum of their interwoven youki holding strong as it faded to the background, and lifted her youki to brush against his, pulling back seconds later to settle back into the connection between them. He responded in kind, brushing his youki against hers before returning to the quiet thrum that ebbed and flowed with the beating of their hearts. “This is . . .” He shook his head as he stared at her in wonder. “This is the connection that you had with your family in the ocean? This is what you’ve been without for so long?” “It pales in comparison, but . . . yes,” she replied, blinking slowly as she felt him wrap her in his youki, pressing in gently as he held her without ever touching her. “See?” she said with a tremulous smile. “Once you feel the connection, everything else comes naturally.” He shook his head, staring at her in awe. “It is true, isn’t it? There was a time when all youkai were connected like this, could even hear the thoughts of others as they spoke with their youki?” “I don’t know,” she said, laughing softly as she shook her head. “Before you, all I’ve ever known is the ocean. Kujira – all Kujira – could connect with each other as my family did, maybe not always as strongly.” Amaya chuckled, rolling her eyes as the rhythmic drumming grew louder, more insistent. “You’d better go. The villagers are expecting you to help them fish.” He leaned close to kiss her, his lips lingering against hers for a few moments before pulling back. “I’ll see you in a few hours, aisuru. Where will I find you when I return?” She smiled as she bit her bottom lip, dragging it through her teeth as she chuckled. “In the largest hut, the one without doors or walls. The elder women and mothers of the village will be teaching me how to turn the paper mulberry tree into tapa cloth. I’ll be learning how to make clothing and tapestries as they do. They’ll be teaching me how to weave baskets, and . . . everything else.” She stood when he did, bracing one hand on his shoulder as she leaned up on her toes to kiss him. “If ever you cannot find me, simply close your eyes and tug on that low vibration you feel right now, follow where it leads and you will find me.” The memory faded, her lips curling up in a smile as the whisper of drumbeats faded into the darkness around her. The soft pings and taps of the summer rain on the window pane called to her, and she looked at the glass, watching as the rivulets of water streamed down. The whisper of voices, the scent of forest and fruit on the air surrounded her as her dream came back to her, her daughter’s voice echoing in her mind as she bit the edge of her lip. She blinked in the darkness as her chest heaved, her breaths coming from her in broken gasps before turning into sobbing laughs, as she lifted her hands to cover her mouth as she shook her head. “I always thought it was nonsense,” she whispered as she combed her fingers through her hair, pulled the thick locks back from her face. “I never dreamed of any of the others,” she said, speaking her thoughts out loud, and began to laugh as the tears filling her eyes spilled onto her cheeks. “Vanessa,” she whispered the name of her dream daughter, her lips trembling as she smiled, and looked at her mate sleeping beside her. “This time will be different,” she promised him, touching her hand to his dark hair, smoothing the backs of her knuckles down over his cheek as she watched him sleep. “This time I dreamed of her.” ----------------------------------------- Glossary Susanoo-no-Mikoto = ancient Japanese Shinto Kami of the sea and storms Ashika = sea lion Kurage = jellyfish Iruka = dolphin Kujira = whale Shachi = killer whale Sezia = traditional formal way of sitting in Japanese culture with the legs folded beneath you, feet turned in, and hands resting palms-down on the thighs Aisuru = beloved