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nadziejastar · 5 years

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@Disney and SQ: Make LeaIsa canon u cowards. They had so much chemistry and history it would be make sense.

Saïx and Axel’s Fascinating, Complex, Beautiful and Extremely Well-Written Relationship

Write more about LeaIsa? Don’t mind if I do. YES! It’s such an underrated relationship, probably because of how poorly it was treated in canon. I would pay so much money to see it actually done justice in canon. And I rarely get invested in fictional ships to this degree. You’re right about their history together. It’s another reason I like LeaIsa so much. It’s the only Lea ship that I saw any evidence for. Axel’s relationship with Saïx is so unlike any other relationship in the series. I just found it so complex, unique, compelling, and mature in the way it was written. Seriously, it’s one of the most touching fictional relationships I’ve ever seen. And it’s written with such subtlety.

The writers force you to read between the lines, instead of spelling everything out for you. That made it even better, since it never once felt cheesy or forced. But with almost everyone I’ve talked to outside of Tumblr, the importance of Saïx and Axel’s relationship went right over their head. One person I talked to even said that the introduction of their past friendship felt pointless; simply an excuse to give Axel more “drama” in Days. Which was sad for me to hear.

It’s why I am so bitter that this relationship got shafted by the story as badly as it did. It’s such an insult to everything the writers accomplished. Unfortunately, I know many people in real life who would…not react well if they found out that Axel loved another male.

I can’t help but think that was a factor in why their relationship was handled so poorly, even platonically. It’s just so stupid to me, though. What a waste. It’s such a shame that stuff like this happens when creators try to step outside the box with their characters. There’s a real lack of healthy male/male intimacy in fiction, especially when it’s handled with actual maturity. It’s why I loved the KH2 ending with Sora and Riku so much. But hey, I still give gotta them credit for trying and almost succeeding.

As much as I loved the Roxas/Axel/Xion friendship, it was clear that Axel was the “dad” of the group. He was only half-joking about babysitting them. I feel even more strongly about this now than I did when I first played these games. It’s been 10 years since I first played Days and now I’m a bit closer to Axel in age than Roxas, lol. I don’t think Lea’s story could have ended truly happily unless he had another adult around him that he was close to.

Lea: In memories, you live forever, you know?

Isa: Well, you may be a really small part of my memories, but at least you’ll never disappear.

Lea: I’m SO flattered.

Isa: You’re such a pain.

I agree that they had a LOT of chemistry during their interactions. What I liked about Isa was that he was an equal to Lea. Someone his own age. He gave us an opportunity to see how Lea would interact with someone he could relate to as a peer, instead of as a mentor. Plus Isa was said to be very smart and mature for his age, which is probably why he didn’t seem to have many friends. And Lea was definitely much more on the intellectual/philosophical side compared to someone like Roxas or Sora.

He was a 15-year-old who talked about wanting to live forever in people’s memory, after all. I think that’s why Isa liked him so much. He was outgoing, very friendly, and smart, to boot. He’s the whole package. I used the Japanese translation for that scene since it made them seem even more flirtatious. I found way Lea joked with Isa to be so…cute. He just never smiled or acted that way with anyone else.

And I felt the same way when Isa smiled during that scene. I could tell he admired Lea’s outlook on life. He likes how he wants to make every interaction with others meaningful. He probably feels the same way, though he has a harder time showing it. Isa obviously does not have many people that he feels comfortable opening up to. I always got the feeling that Lea was very special to him. I don’t have trouble believing that Isa was intended to sacrifice himself for Lea. Not at all.

Roxas: I found out about love on today’s mission–that it’s something powerful.

Axel: That’s true. It is. But I’ll never get to experience it.

Besides, you don’t just give a character dialogue like this, and then NOT have them find true love. I mean, come on now.

Riku: Heh, I sometimes envy how simple your world is.

Sora: Is…that a compliment?

Riku: I envy whatever makes you think it could be.

Sora: Gee, thanks.

Isa and Lea had a somewhat similar dynamic to Riku and Sora. One was an introvert and the other was way more extroverted. I loved seeing the effect Sora had on Riku. It was very sweet. But no offense to Sora…Lea and Isa gave me the impression that they were much more intellectual equals, compared to him and Riku. I doubt you would ever see conversations like this between them, for instance. So for me, they struck a perfect balance. They were opposites, but still very similar.

It was such a sincere question that Axel barely swallowed a laugh. The evidence was right there; Roxas wouldn’t be thinking of anything else.

“’Cos you’re relatively simple,” Axel replied. “Well, most Nobodies are.”

Despite being the “cheerful” one, Lea’s world was anything but simple. He’s not unfailingly optimistic and he has a very prominent dark side. He might make friends very easily, but I could tell that he had a strong desire to form very deep emotional connections that are rare and don’t come easily. So Lea and Isa complemented each other very well.

“It’s just… I’ve always wondered why we’re here, on this island. If there are other worlds out there, why did we end up on this one?”

Now I think it was because we had to be there to meet each other. And if this really is the end of all the worlds, I don’t mind fading out here.

“If the world is made of light and darkness…we can be the darkness.”

Beside him, Sora looked at the sea and idly stretched his legs. “Yeah. The other side, the realm of light…it’s safe now. Kairi and the king and the others are there.”

Even without us, the worlds will be okay, he thought as he gazed at the horizon. I don’t mind becoming part of the darkness, if I’m with Riku.

I still love Sora, though. No matter how many Disney worlds he went to, he never forgot Riku. I’m sure Isa was envious at times of Lea’s ability to instantly make friends with everyone. Isa only came out of his shell around Lea. He doesn’t get close to people easily. I’m sure he had as many insecurities as Riku had, if not more. He probably was clingy, even. But I doubt Lea would mind. I’m sure that he felt like no matter how many friends he made, he could have deeper conversations with a shy introvert like Isa than he could with anyone else.

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we’ll still have each other…even if things change and we can’t do this anymore.

Roxas: Yeah?

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?

Roxas: Ha ha, wow, Axel. That sounded ridiculous.

Axel: What? I thought it was pretty deep.

To me, Axel always came across as extremely intelligent, with a lot of inner depth and complexity. But he always kept his true feelings bottled up inside.

Roxas grinned. “Who are you, and what have you done with Axel?”

“Hey! I tried, okay?” All that effort to cheer them up, and they just turned it into a punch line. Chagrined, he looked away.

Xion burst into giggles, and then, as if it was contagious, Roxas started laughing, too.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that funny!” Axel scolded.

They paused, looked at each other, and giggled again.

“I don’t know why I put up with this…”

In the novel, he actually was pretty hurt and embarrassed during that scene, because he was being 100% serious.

Pence: Do you guys think we’ll always be together like this?

Olette: I sure hope so.

Hayner: Huh? Where did that come from?

Pence: Oh, well, you know. Just thinking out loud.

Hayner: Well, I doubt we can be together forever. But isn’t that what growing up’s all about? What’s important isn’t how often we see each other, but how often we think about each other. Right?

Pence: Get that off a fortune cookie?

Hayner: That’s it, no more ice cream for you!

Of course, I found it interesting how Roxas was later put in such a similar position to Axel. All these things happening to him that he can’t talk about with his friends. Being told he was never supposed to existand entering an existential crisis. The time when he would relate to Axel the most is when he doesn’t even remember him.

But to address the main topic of this post, I must say: Axel and Saïx’s whole relationship in the novels is just so excellent. I always liked it in the games, but the novels made me appreciate it on a whole new level. I was reading them for the first time a while ago, and I swear, I couldn’t help but pick up VERY strong romantic vibes between Axel and his memories of Isa. It’s not that I was looking for it, either. I wasn’t. It just really, really jumped out at me.

“Well, I think you can be inseparable, even if you’re apart,” said Axel.

Roxas and Xion shared a look.

“…Even if you’re apart,” Roxas murmured.

They trailed off, and this time Axel finished his ice cream. So he started talking again. “It’s like, if you feel really close to each other. Like best friends.”

Followed by…

“Love is what happens when there’s something really special between people.”

“More special than friends? Like…if they’re best friends? Inseparable?”

“Well, you can care about your friends, but that’s not exactly it…” Axel paused, groping for words that might make sense to Roxas.

“So it’s a step above best friends?”

“No—it’s not about steps.”

The wording was just so…intentional. Axel was obviously thinking about Isa when he was talking about best friends being inseparable, even when they’re apart. And he was obviously thinking about Isa when he said that as long as he has memories, he’d never have to be apart from anyone. Then Roxas uses the exact same words when he asks him about love. There was no way it was just a coincidence.

I was like, “Am I crazy, or are the writers trying to imply that Lea was in love with Isa?” Then I read the rest of the novel, and I’m like, “Damn, I guess they really are”. I swear, the novels are what totally convinced me that the writers genuinely viewed them as a romantic pairing. And then when I looked at the 358/2 Days weapons, I was like, “Okay, I guess I’m not crazy after all.”

I am working on a meta about the symbolism of Luxord’s Tarot cards. It’s just…incredible how the Fool’s Journey that’s depicted in those cards, follows Axel and Saïx’s character arcs so perfectly. There was so much care put into that relationship. I’m sure that the Tarot cards had meaning for everyone’s else’s weapons and character arcs, as well. But since we never actually get to learn that much about the other Organization members, it’s harder to interpret whatever meaning they have. There was more than enough with Saïx and Axel to read between the lines and see a whole arc. But Marluxia and Vexen? Eh, not so much.

“You mean I can’t talk to you unless I want something?”

“I didn’t mean that, but it’s—” a hassle. But if I say that, it looks like she’ll make it even more of a hassle. Axel shut his mouth. “Why are you talking to me? There are heaps of other people to talk to.”

“I don’t want to talk to rough old men,” Larxene clearly intoned.

“If that’s so—there’s Demyx, or Marluxia, who joined just before you did. And then there’s Zexion. There’s also Saïx, in a way—”

I found it interesting how Axel related to women. He talks about how you can’t push the wrong buttons with girls. Larxene touches his face in Re:CoM and his reaction is so annoyed. And then there’s the way he reacts when she flirts with him in the novel. Yeah, I know Larxene is a bitch and that really doesn’t prove anything. But those scenes felt like they were meant to show how Axel just isn’t interested in women that way. Also I like how he says, “in a way” when he refers to Saïx. Well, I guess he is young at least. However, while we’re on that subject…

Demyx: Who’s ready for a vacation? I’m ready for a vacation.

Axel: Saïx only gives days off when he’s in a good mood. Which is never.

…I found Axel’s dynamic with Saïx so fascinating due to their shared history. Saïx always has the most dead, lifeless expressions on his face. I think it hurt Axel deeply to see how miserable he was all the time. Axel must have assumed his condition was the result of the trauma caused by the experiments and losing his heart. After all, Nobodies typically have the same basic personality they had as humans. And Isa was not cold and robotic.

Indeed, Axel is all too aware of Saïx’s total emotional emptiness and he’s rather introspective about the whole issue. He reflects on it rather frequently in the novels.

“Shouldn’t you already be out on your mission, Axel?” Saïx interrupted.

Mission? Saïx hadn’t given him his assignment yet. Axel blinked up at him, and Saïx stared back.

Oh. Axel felt a little bit sorry for Saïx and his inability to lie.

Saïx can’t even fake emotion enough to tell convincing lies. At least Axel can do that much. He genuinely feels sorry for him.

In a way, Saïx put more effort than any of them into pretending he had a heart, Axel thought. And yet, he was more lacking than any of them.

Here too. Saïx is more lacking than any of them. He’s the only one who was turned into a vessel against his will, so he can’t just nurture a new heart like everyone else.

After watching them go, Axel stretched and turned to Saïx, expecting to see a scowl. But the expression had left Saïx’s face, leaving him as dispassionate as usual.

Of course, he had been faking it in the first place. Nobodies had no hearts; they only imitated what emotions they remembered. The very proof of their emptiness showed how desperately they each longed for a heart.

Axel probably did the same thing himself without noticing, and yet, for some reason, when Saïx did it—or actually, any of the others—it seemed so out of place.

None of the others in the Organization were that bad, though. They all had personalities and didn’t have to try so hard to fake one. And we know that they could grow hearts.

Saïx had no time for all these deliberately oblique remarks from Xigbar. “Nonsense. I see no problem whatsoever.”

Xigbar only laughed louder. “Pa-ha-ha! No, apparently you don’t!”

“Something you find amusing?”

“Oh, the things you hear from a guy with no heart,” Xigbar said through his hilarity.

None of us have hearts, Saïx was about to remind him, when Xemnas spoke again.

All except Saïx. No, he was unique, even among Nobodies.

He’d never deluded himself that tracking down Riku would be easy, and neither had Saïx. It was just that if he went back and reported that he couldn’t find anything, he would have to deal with those attempts at “personality”—the sneers, the snide remarks, the only trappings of human emotion that Saïx ever showed.

He tries so hard to have a “personality” that it’s actually very unsettling for Axel to witness. Yet, it was the only human emotions he ever showed. Because he’s nothing but an extension of Xehanort, with no heart of his own. He literally can’t connect with anyone or experience any emotion other than flat, numb, dispassionate misery.

“Don’t let us down now, kiddo. Shouldn’t be too much trouble without a heart,” Xigbar told Saïx.

Saix was a very tragic character. He became the way he is when he was just a kid, too. This is thrown in our face time and time again, so I was extremely surprised at the direction they took with his character in KH3. It made absolutely NO sense whatsoever.

In a room made of white marble, a large mirror reflected Demyx as he prepared to leave for the mission. He took particular care with his hairstyle, painstakingly manipulating the brown strands with a comb to make them stand straight up.

Saïx observed him from behind with what appeared to be distaste. In stark contrast to Demyx, Saïx left his long blue hair unstyled. The X-shaped scar on his forehead was all the style he needed.

“What d’you want? I’m kinda busy.” Irritated, Demyx turned around.

Instead of responding, the other man simply disappeared.

“Excuse me?!” Demyx shouted at the space where Saïx had been standing.

I doubt Saïx had any clue how uncomfortable he made Demyx. He just didn’t have the emotional capacity to pick up on things like that.

“No… Kingdom Hearts…” He opened his arms, bathed in the moonlight. “Where is my heart…?”

He dissolved into dark mist and faded from existence.

I don’t think Saïx was really Isa, and I think his and Axel’s relationship was very unhealthy, obviously. BUT. Axel thought Saïx was Isa and tried to relate to him as such. And that tells you a few things. Axel clearly thought of Saïx as someone who could understand his pain in a way nobody else could. And Saïx was a pretty miserable character. Even Sora couldn’t help but feel sorry for him when he called out for his heart. And back then, Sora thought Nobodies weren’t even capable of feeling anything. Yet, other than Axel, Saïx was the only Organization member whose disappearance left him genuinely sad.

All of it disgusted him. Saïx looked up at the skyscrapers, tracking Axel’s presence. He wanted a heart more than anything. But what could he do to get one? Here he was, yearning for a heart so badly, while Axel had managed to gain one without doing anything at all.

The blue-haired man had been the very first to join the organization after the founding members. He should have been special. The way number 13—Roxas, wielder of the Keyblade—was special. Axel was not. And yet…He remembered what the witch Naminé had said.

Axel seemed lonely. The man himself had denied it, but she was absolutely right. Axel was lonely. He’d lost Roxas.

Lonely. Didn’t that mean he had a heart? How had he gained one? Why only him? Was it an effect of his contact with the boy, or was there something else at work? He had no idea…

Saïx was jealous of Axel…but not quite in the way KH3 depicted. He was jealous of his ability to grow a heart. He was jealous that Axel even had the capacity to feel the loneliness of losing a friend. Saïx yearned for a heart more than anything. I can’t think of a single reason he would willingly join the Organization after being re-completed. It’s not even possible to describe how out-of-character that was.

Saïx collapsed to his knees. “Ngh— How much longer…?” He groaned through clenched teeth. “Kingdom Hearts… Will your strength never be mine?”

I think Roxas felt sorry for him too, after his defeat. He had the perfect opportunity to take him out, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. There’s no way Roxas was capable of taking out someone so utterly pitiable. Roxas just stares at him for a few seconds, dismisses his Keyblade, and moves on in silence.

“I feel bad for you, too,” she told him.

“What are you talking about?” Saïx towered over Naminé.

“You haven’t even noticed yet…that you have a heart.”

Several Nobodies emerged from a rift out of the corridors.

“A heart? I have a heart? No one wants your nonsense!” Saïx raised his sword over Naminé—but Riku was there with Soul Eater to intercept the blow.

“Hmph. I don’t have time for these games.” Darkness welled from a rift behind Saïx. “Run along and help your dear hero.”

With that, he disappeared.

“Are you all right?” Riku helped Naminé to her feet.

“Now I understand…,” she murmured.

“Naminé…? You understand what?”

She was silent for a moment and quietly shook her head as she stood. “It’s nothing. We have to find Kairi.”

Naminé felt sorry for him, too. Of course, she seemed to realize that his situation was unique and even worse than the other Nobodies. His heart was in Xehanort’s clutches. Saïx was genuinely anguished by what she said, though.

Maybe she had been sent away somewhere on a long-term mission, like Axel at Castle Oblivion.

But…asking about Axel seemed to put Saïx in such a foul mood, Roxas couldn’t bring himself to inquire after Xion.

I think Saïx was still subconsciously influenced by Isa’s captured heart, making him feel even more hollow and empty. I think that’s what forgetting his “true purpose” was all about.

“You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

Were you worried I wouldn’t? Axel almost said, but he didn’t want to deal with putting him in an even fouler mood. Disgust and rage seemed to linger closest to the surface of Saïx’s memories.

But ultimately, what we saw in 358/2 Days is this: Axel always empathized with Saïx, no matter how unlikable he was. Especially in the novels, he always exhibits profound empathy, patience, and understanding towards him. Their relationship is nothing like how it was portrayed in KH3. It was honestly so sad to see how badly Axel wanted to connect with him—to have things be like they were before. He was desperate to find any evidence that Saïx still cared about him.

He didn’t look at Saïx, but he did have one thing to say.

“Keep your mouth shut.”

Roxas had never heard him speak so coldly to anyone before.

Saïx made no reply.

The one time Axel loses his patience and confronts Saïx in anger, it hurt him more than it hurt Saïx. Axel couldn’t even look at him. But Saïx never acts hurt or offended after this scene. He’s just angry that Axel won’t listen to him. He couldn’t care less if Axel insults him, as long as he’s compliant and their plans remain unchanged.

But his voice was still oddly low. Running into Saïx had brought out a different side of him—and that side was a little scary.

Something just felt wrong about it—Axel was putting distance between himself and Saïx. Just like Xion did with him.

Axel was certainly deeply affected, though. Even Roxas, who hated Saïx, felt something was wrong about them drifting apart. He actually compared them to Xion and himself.

I just did what I thought was the best thing at the time. For Roxas, for Xion, for the Organization—and for Isa. But most of all for me.

He thinks like this even after he told Saïx to keep hid mouth shut. Even after that, he was still motivated by…well, not Saïx, actually. It was “Isa” who he mentioned. It’s the only time he used his real name as a Nobody, whether spoken or in his own thoughts. He talks about Saïx a lot. But when he thinks about his hopes for the future, it’s not Saïx’s name that comes to mind.

It’s Isa’s name. That’s how much of a distinction he makes between Saïx and Isa. The past and the present. It seemed like he desperately hoped that once Kingdom Hearts was completed, maybe Saïx would go back to being Isa again. And he clung to that hope for dear life. I couldn’t tell who wanted Saïx to get his heart back more—Saïx himself or Axel.

When he woke up after being re-completed, it was like he forgot all about their past conflict. He just wanted his friend back finally. This scene where he used Isa’s real name really stood out to me. It was the clincher. I knew there was no way that Lea did not love Isa with all his heart, when he had one. And after he started to grow a heart again, those feelings never left. Axel still loved him.

“Things are finally right again,” Saïx went on. “Of course, we’re better off this way.”

Axel had no retort for that. Maybe because he didn’t want to alienate Saïx anymore.

“Xemnas is exasperated from all the ‘fixing’ we’ve had to do. We have to set things right. There is too much on the line…Lea.”

Hearing his old name, Axel glanced up to see Saïx watching him intently. He remembered being human. Memories surged inside him, crowding the space in his chest. For Nobodies, memory had all the weight of a heart.

I remember. I won’t forget. But those sunsets with Roxas and Xion were part of his memory. Axel broke away again from Saïx’s gaze, looking down at nothing.

You can tell how conflicted he is when Saïx also uses his real name a little while later. He desperately wants to think Saïx still cares about him as well, but he’s starting to realize that he’s deluding himself.

“I trust you.”

Axel let out a low chuckle. “Yeah? Because your heart tells you to?”

“Just the memory of it. But if you continue to interfere, I’ll have to overwrite that memory with everything I’ve learned as a Nobody.”

“…Should I take that as a threat?”

“More or less. Keep it in mind.” Finished with the conversation, Saïx walked away.

Axel didn’t move for a while.

This is the first time that Saïx actually threatened to do more to Axel than just end their friendship. He actually threatened to kill him, and he is totally in shock over it. He can’t even move. I found it so telling that Saïx always spoke about his memories in a way that made them sound so foreign to him. His memories of Isa tell him that Lea was once really important to him. But they are so at odds with his personality as a Nobody, that all he ever does is use those memories as a weapon to manipulate and punish Axel.

“We don’t need them both. Just one. And pretending won’t change it.”

We, who? Axel wanted to ask, but he held it in, along with a bitter laugh. He wasn’t sure if that “we” meant Organization XIII or just Saïx and himself.

“Think about that.”

Oh, I am. And I’m sick of it. I’m even desperate enough to ask you if there’s another way.

The words nearly escaped him, but Saïx was already walking toward the Grey Area. The set of his shoulders told him plainly what the answer would be.

Axel realized how great the rift was between how he remembered their past and what he saw now.

Why am I even here? I don’t know anymore. What am I trying to do?

But Axel forgave Saïx over and over and over again. He risked his life constantly whenever Saïx needed someone to do his dirty work. He cared SO much about Isa. But he’s starting to question everything now. What good are their plans if Saïx doesn’t even care about him anymore? If there’s no hope that their relationship can be like it was in the past?

KH3 says that Saïx felt forgotten by Axel, but I just didn’t see that at all. How could he have possibly felt abandoned by Axel of all people? All Axel did was pine for him the whole game. Axel would have been overjoyed if Saïx so much as asked him about how his mission went, or what he ate for breakfast that day. As long as it was something other than the Chamber of Waking. Of course, Saïx knew Axel didn’t forget about him. It’s why he knew calling him “Lea” would be such an effective tactic for his compliance.

“That’s enough.” Saix turned his head, giving Axel a sidelong look over his shoulder. “Traitor.”

Axel scowled darkly.

“I’m going. You know, don’t you, that you won’t stop me except by force? And even if you tried, you would fail.” Saïx went on his way. Memories informed him that he hated this kind of thing.

Here we go again. Saïx is still serious about his threat, and Axel is still deeply hurt. His memories tell him that threatening Axel should make him feel awful, too. In the past, he would be devastated with this situation. But, he isn’t. I really think Saïx simply had access to Isa’s memories, thanks to Ansem’s experiments on the heart. Just like how Xemns had access to Terra’s memories while he was talking to Aqua’s armor and calling it a “friend”. But he was never really Isa.

He had been using the Organization for his own ends from the start. The only thing that had changed in the meantime was who it was all for. Maybe Saïx would call that a betrayal. But his world had changed.

It took until this moment at the very end of the book, for Axel to finally change his mind on who he was doing everything for.

The Roxas that I know is long gone. Fine, I see how it is…

This is the moment where Axel has to finally accept the harsh truth. The truth that he’s known for a long time, deep down, but didn’t want to admit. The Isa he knew is long gone. Which was just so sad to me. Their relationship was SO messed up—it was incredibly damaging to Axel. How could KH3 make Lea and Isa just get over their past so easily? It was ridiculous.

There’s no way that Saïx was planned to be Isa all along. That would be so unfair and insulting to both of their characters. “Yeah, sorry Lea. Your best friend really DID want to kill you all along. So much for healing your pain…Here, have some ice cream.”

“I sent dusks in before you in numbers. Think of failure as leading to immediate erasure.”

“Certainly, sir,” said Axel, and he bowed exaggeratedly.

“Was that supposed to be a joke, Axel?”

“That’s not too far is it?”

“…It’s not at all funny.” Saïx resumed typing on the keyboard.

Maybe, this is the last time I’ll see Saïx, too.

Thinking, Axel looked at the seated Saïx’s back.

“We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?”

Ignoring Axel’s words, Saïx continued typing on the keyboard.

This is during the time of KH2, when Axel is going to infiltrate the data Twilight Town. There was something incredibly moving about the way Axel related to Saïx. It resonated with me on a deeply personal level, in a way few stories ever have. It was so powerful, without being the slightest bit cheesy or forced. In fact, it flies right under the radar unless you really pay attention.

Axel displayed true unconditional love. He just kept trying and trying and trying—even when his efforts got him absolutely nothing in return. He was totally undeterred. He’d just wait longer, and try even harder, until the day finally comes when his friend wakes up and comes to his senses. He was incredibly hurt by Saïx’s indifference towards him…but he never stopped loving Isa. Even when he lost all hope that he’d ever see him again…he never wanted to forget the pain of losing him.

Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow.

I don’t want to disappear… But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here.

Regardless of how bad things got, even when Saïx followed through with his threat and tried to kill him…Axel STILL loved him, even if only because of how he remembered Isa. Fighting Saïx killed him inside. I like to think that during that scene, on some level, Lea could sense Isa’s true heart inside of Saïx. And that Isa still loves him, too. After all, they are supposed to be inseparable, even when they’re apart.

I truly believe that in the original idea for the story, Lea refused to take off his Organization cloak because he couldn’t bring himself to be “free” until Isa was. I also think that was why he was always staring off at the sunset, looking wistful. There’s a certain type of bonding people experience during shared trauma, that is unlike any other.

Lea and Isa joined the Organization together. They both lost their innocence and their youth to the Organization. There was no way Lea could be free until he knew Isa was, too. He would never, ever be able to move on from the past. And when Isa was rescued, he and Lea would always have that shared history as test subjects. I think their pain was always going to be something they understood better than anyone else.

Terra: I just– When I really need you, Ven, I know you’ll be there.

Aqua: Ven, I’m sorry…I might not make it back as soon as I thought. But Ipromise I’ll be there, one day, to wake you up.

To me, these quotes felt like foreshadowing. Ven is promising the audience that he’ll use the power of waking on Terra, and Aqua assures us that she will be the one to use it on Ven.

Go on, you just keep running. But I’ll always be there to bring you back!

There’s not a doubt in my mind that Lea was going to use these exact words while trying to use the power of waking on Isa. I think Isa would have been so traumatized that his soul fragments would initially refuse to go back to reality. It would not be easy to convince him to come back. Even Riku needed to pass a “test” to revive Sora.

The sun sank lower and lower as Axel watched, his mind wandering.

If he stared for too long, the image would burn itself into his eyes, visible even after his eyes were closed.

A phantom sun.

Someone had once told him why sunsets were red… Who was that?

First of all, Tomoco Kanemaki’s writing is so beautiful. Secondly, why do I get the feeling that it was Isa who made an off-hand remark one day, informing Lea why the sun sets red?

Axel is lost in thought, staring at the red sunset, before Roxas and Xion arrive. This is just before he talks about how they’ll never have to be apart as long as they have the memories of each other. Which is so similar to what he told Isa all those years ago. “If I can live forever inside people’s memories, then at least Isa can live forever inside mine.” That’s what I believe Axel was thinking that day.

You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest.

The red phantom sun. It burns into your eyes, staying visible even when you close them.

Pandora opened a jar containing sickness, death and many other unspecified evils which were then released into the world. Though she hastened to close the container, only one thing was left behind–hope.

Axel’s Pandora Gear is called Prominence. Solar prominences are large, bright red-glowing loops of plasma extending outward from the Sun’s surface. They can measure many times larger than Earth’s diameter and last for weeks or even months. Saïx’s Pandora Gear is Crocea Mors, or Yellow Death; the one that looks just like his Berserk state Claymore.

Prominence is shaped like a swastika, or manji. It’s a symbol used to represent the harmonious interplay between opposites beyond the limits of time and space. In Hinduism, the arms pointing clockwise (卐) symbolizes surya (‘Sun’), prosperity, and good luck.

I wholeheartedly wish that Lea got to reunite with Isa—the real Isa. Not the watered-down Xehanort clone masquerading as him in KH3. There’s NO way the real Isa could have EVER inspired the type of devotion we saw from Lea, if he was ANYTHING like Saïx.

#anti-kh3 #kh meta #kh saix #kh axel #kh lea #kh isa #isalea #leaisa #kh isalea #kh leaisa #kh akusai #akusai #kh theories

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nadziejastar · 5 years

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hi I love your blog!! I just wanted to ask what your background is in spiritual matters are because you seem so well-versed in them and your applications of some concepts are absolutely spot on!! I’m just curious haha

Why We’re Never Going To Find Out How Saïx Got His Scar

Thanks! Pretty much all learned outside of school, haha. I don’t have a special background or anything. I am just an ordinary person drawn to strange subjects. I guess if I’m being honest, I became immersed in these subjects because I used to deal with depression, lol. I don’t anymore, but I still really love Axel’s character arc for that reason. He wanted to find hope. And he did.

His arc is based on the Phoenix—dying, rotting away, turning to ash, and then being born again. You need to experience a form of death, to shed away the old self. Only then can you be reborn into something higher. You need to suffer pain and despair. That is the only way to be liberated from your previous state. It’s one of those special character arcs that resonated with me strongly. It does kind of kill me to see a work of fiction incorporate genuine spiritual concepts, then get butchered. Because you don’t get that message from mainstream entertainment very often.

Zuko: “I used to think this scar marked me - the mark of the banished prince, cursed to chase the Avatar forever. But lately, I’ve realized I’m free to determine my own destiny, even if I’ll never be free of my mark.”

The only other one I personally recall that had a similar realistic spiritual aspect was Prince Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender. He is another character that I connected with a lot. Another Fire-type character associated with the sun, strangely enough. Zuko’s arc reminded me of Axel’s, actually. As you wander through the valley of the shadow of death, you are purified. You shed the snakeskin of the ego, and are capable of transforming into your highest self. You become capable of unconditional love. He had his own awakening experience during a dream. The way he loved his sister Azula also reminded me of how Axel loved Saïx. He reminds me of Isa, too. Both have iconic scars that symbolize their trauma.

The deeper you go, the more you realize how interconnected all these metaphysical concepts are, too. Eastern/Western. Alchemy, Shamanism, Kundalini Yoga, Kabbalah, Jungian Psychology. Doesn’t matter. It’s all the same thing when you get right down to it. Raising your state of consciousness, and seeing the illusion of the world for what it is. This realization allows you to become a new being.

The two snakes/dragons represent Masculine and Feminine. Yin and Yang. Shiva and Shakti. Sol and Luna. The energy rising up the two pathways and opening the chakras, is referred to as sacred fire. When these two energies unite, one becomes enlightened, and transcends desire, duality, karma, space and time, etc. One’s true nature is realized, which is infinite. You have the compassion and love of the Feminine, and can combine it with the strength and intelligence of the Masculine.

And Axel’s character arc is essentially the same. They are both alike in so many ways. His Ultimate Gear is called “Double Edge”. His Champion gear is called “Rapid Spinner”, referring to the chakras, which are said to be like whirlpools of energy in the body. Chakra means “wheel” in Sanskrit. And these weapons are shaped like mandalas of the Third Eye and Crown chakras. Mandalas are geometric figures representing unity and harmony.

It’s also known as sacred geometry. It’s a symbol in a dream, representing the dreamer’s search for completeness and self-unity. Carl Jung used them a lot in his practice. He said they symbolize the wholeness of the self. These specific mandalas are used in Reiki for healing. And this is exactly why we’re never going to find out how Saïx got his scar. It’s fundamentally tied into these spiritual concepts.

Xigbar: “Xion’s disappearance is fascinating. It seems Saïx doesn’t truly “see” her.”

Origin: The Sanskrit name for the 3rd Eye Chakra is called the Ajna (command, or in control). The color of Ajna is indigo or midnight blue, associated with depth of awareness.

Xemnas: “As your flesh bears the sigil, so your name shall be known as that…of a recusant.”

Location – Brow: Located in the center of the forehead between and above the eyes, this Chakra governs psychic abilities and spiritual discernment. Bodily, it governs the pineal and pituitary glands.

Saïx: “Settle down. Xion’s failings won’t affect your standing with us. You’ve nothing to worry about.”

Roxas: “Won’t affect my– What is WRONG with you? Look, I’ll do my mission–later.”

Level of Consciousness – 6th: Ajna Chakra is the command center, or the seat of wisdom where the consciousness evolves to understanding and acting on what we experience from a much deeper place of wisdom and insight. When Kundalini Shakti (spiritual energy) is awakened in this Chakra, it opens the 3rd eye, the inner eye of intuition and inner guidance. An under-active Ajna Chakra may show up in a lack of spiritual depth and understanding.

Saïx: Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably, they destroy themselves.

Soul Journey Stage – Breaking-Open: You have an urge to connect with your inner wisdom, to live your life in alignment with your inner guidance.

Xemnas: “Our experiments creating Heartless were attempts to control the mind, and convince it to renounce its sense of self.”

Element – Mind: In yogic tradition, it is believed that the mind is made up of the same 5 elements that the universe is made up of (earth, water, fire, air and ether). Ajna Chakra transcends the individual elements and opens the door to universal intelligence.

Saïx: “Nonsense. I see no problem whatsoever.”

Xigbar: “Ha ha! Well no, apparently you don’t!”

Saïx: “Something you find amusing?”

Xigbar: “If people see with their hearts, Saïx, then you’re even blinder than the rest of us.”

Quality – Intuition: The 3rd eye vision is the inner vision of intuition, insight and wisdom.

Saïx: “Pitiful Heartless, mindlessly collecting hearts. The rage of the Keyblade releases those hearts. They gather in darkness, masterless and free… until they weave together to make Kingdom Hearts. And when that time comes, we can truly, finally exist.”

Origin: The Sanskrit name for the Crown Chakra is the Sahasrara, meaning the lotus of a thousand petals. Violet is the highest color in the light spectrum, and represents wisdom, awareness, and spiritual energy. White is also associated with the Crown Chakra. If your Chakra is underactive, you may lack interest in your spiritual self, you may not be open to intangible spiritual experiences.

Xemnas: “My friends! Remember why we have organized–all the things we hope to achieve. The strength of the human heart is vast. Soon, though…we will have gained power over it! Never again will it…have power over us.”

Level of Consciousness – 7th: This is the last milestone of the evolution of human consciousness, the door to Pure Consciousness. When Kundalini Shakti (spiritual energy) is awakened in this Chakra, the illusion of the individual self is dissolved. Self-realization sets in.

Xion: “I love Roxas and Axel. I’m sure Saïx would scoff at that. Call it a trick of my artificial memories. But the time I spent on that clock tower was real.”

Soul Journey Stage: You have an awareness of your own consciousness, a knowledge that the planet is connected by love, your philosophies are simple and straightforward.

Xemnas: “But then, through Roxas, Sora himself began to shape “it” into “her,” giving Xion a sense of identity. I was ready to scrap the whole project…”

Element – Energy: represents the cosmic energy that is awareness and pure consciousness.

Saïx: “Nngh… How much longer…Kingdom…Hearts… Will your strength never be mine?”

Quality – Bliss: When the Crown Chakra is open, we experience the eternal bliss, the peace that “passeth all understanding.”

Saïx: “Well, that didn’t take long. Did it break again?”

Roxas: “She’s not an ‘it’!”

Axel: “Keep your mouth shut.”

Sense – Empathy: This is because of the deep connection that we experience when the Crown Chakra energy is active.

Axel’s purple mandala-shaped weapons are the Emperor and Empress arcana of Luxord’s Tarot deck. The Red King and White Queen. Sol and Luna. Ultimate and Champion Gear. Saïx’s two weapons in these categories are the pink ones, lol. The ones shaped like Venus, the goddess of love, and Vesta, the goddess of sacred sexuality who’s known as the Keeper of the Sacred Flame.

And in Luxord’s deck, you also have the Sun and Moon arcana. For the Moon arcana, Axel’s weapon is called “Dive Bomb” and shaped like more sacred geometry, and Saïx’s weapon is called “Luminary”, shaped like energy healing.

The Sun arcana is the red “Omega Trinity”, shaped like the Ouroboros, another symbol of Rubedo and the union of Sol and Luna. It’s also a symbol of infinity, beyond the limits of time and space. And Saïx’s is called “Light Year”. Isa is light years away, but the red light can reach him and heal him. Their characters were all about healing each other. It’s why it’s so heartbreaking for me to see how Lea and Isa’s story was treated. You just don’t see many stories like theirs. It’s so positive and uplifting.

The writers have all of these sophisticated concepts in mind, and their artistic integrity gets trampled all over. KH is a lot like ATLA. They are both marketed as child-friendly, but you can tell that the writers for both series are extremely intelligent and well-educated. Though even ATLA got compromised artistically to make the live action movies…

#kh meta #kh saix #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts meta #anti-kh3 #kh axel #kh lea #kh isa #kh isalea #kh leaisa #kh akusai #atla zuko

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momscookingthebooks · 7 years

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★.•**•.★ NEW RELEASE CHAPTER BLOG TOUR ★.•**•.★

YES ! We get to have Gina Wynn’s Newest release What You Wish For. Part 1

Readers, every day you get a snippet of chapter 1. Don’t forget to follow so you don’t miss a bit.

Title: What you wish for

Author: Gina Wynn

Genre: Romantic, Woman Fiction

Release Date: May 12

Tour Date: May 9 - 12

Hosted By Teaser Addicts PR

BLURB

When Maggie Forrester wakes up naked in bed with her boss, iceman Will Brian, she's sure it must be a dream. Or a feverish hallucination at the very least. But magic takes over when she begins to experience an impossible other life—complete with an alternate husband—and she's forced to confront the reality of the man she loves versus the man she's fallen in love with.

After secrets she believed long buried surface, both of Maggie's realities are threatened. As the truth of her past comes to light, she must decide which man she truly loves and which life she wants to live—if the choice is even hers to make. Sometimes, true love is even worth wishing for.

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Chapter 1 Part 1

His knee rested against the back of my leg. A possessive arm wrapped over my waist, and a forehead nestled against my hair. Jake must have arrived home earlier than he expected from the stag weekend and melded to me during the night. We lay skin against skin, and I relaxed into his hold as warmth and familiarity seeped from him. The bubble of safety only my husband could provide surrounded me.

A smile tugged the corner of my lips as naughty thoughts of pleasure yet-to- come flashed through my head. I didn’t even bother to open my eyes as I wriggled around to return his hug, being sure to inject enough movement to bounce him awake. His chest rose and fell against my cheek with his every breath, and his heartbeat thudded in my ear. Home was where that heart was.

“Good morning, Maggie.” His melted chocolate voice, still drowsy with sleep, tickled my neck.

Not Jake.

Panic jolted me as my eyes flew open, and I launched over the side of the bed, failing in my attempt to look away as I did so. With the long glance I took by mistake, I’d require brain bleach to scrub him from my mind. I huddled out of his line of sight with my stare—strong enough to have burnt a hole through the man—firmly fixed on unfamiliar carpet.

Bloody hell. My boss. All of him. In the bed I’d exited at warp speed.

I risked another quick glance in his direction. He lay propped on his side, dark hair tousled, smiling at me in a new lazy way. Bloody, bloody hell. I repeat, my boss. My boss, Will Brian.

Never Will Brian, always Mr. Brian. I corrected myself to the office formality he insisted on as I tried to look at him without seeing anything but his face. Holy chest skin, Batman. Well-defined muscular temptation in flesh form. Mr. Brian with really sexy bedhead. Bloody hell, again.

The horror crawling through me shut down all rational thought, narrowing my entire focus to the bedroom. His bedroom?

One room. Me. Him.

Nothing else.

The devil had woken up with frostbite. It was the only possible explanation to my world going mad. I inhaled a shaky breath, my brain stuck on one thought. Mr. Brian. Surely, I harboured zero attraction to him? Especially as he favoured issuing orders to me in a snappy coffee-breath voice in our usual day-to-day routine. Waking in his arms was quite the quantum leap from our normal yes, Mr. Brian, of course, Mr. Brian, I’ll hold all your calls, Mr. Brian relationship.

I closed my eyes against the view, although it didn’t help me ignore him. His image had seared itself to the inside of my eyelids, and no girl wanted a permanent reminder of her boss.

Really. No attraction, whatsoever. None at all. Because I’d never noticed his tight, firm... Never mind. Or the way he walked as

I followed him along the corridor at work. Okay. So, I’d taken a non-existent—or maybe ever-so-slight—inappropriate boss fantasy right to sleeping in bed with the man. I’d come a long way.

I’d have said my wisdom was on the line, except ending up in his bed rated way worse than unwise. Spelling Mr. Brian as Mr. Brain on company documents was unwise—and stupid. Filing January invoices in December was unwise—and, according to Mr. Brian, worse than stupid. This...this verged on being very, very bad—and so much more than stupid. Unforgiveable, if I forced myself to be honest.

Note to self: Career suicide—never the way to ask for a pay increase.

“What, no ‘good morning, Will’?” He chuckled, and I didn’t know if my sudden goose bumps came from extreme lack of blankets or the unnervingly attractive sound of his amusement.

His laughter, somehow hauntingly familiar and comforting, wrapped me in unexpected safety. He never laughed at the office or, if he did, he went somewhere private to do it. Either way, he never seemed to find anything funny about working.

In our office.With me at his professional beck and call. The fact I relaxed a little in his presence must have been the result of my

aspirations to find my inner Zen one day. I channelled Yoda and did imaginary breathing exercises, then clamped down on my bubble of hysteria before it rose any

further up my throat. Relaxation, inner calm, and enlightenment? Not likely. I flashed a quick grimace, hoping to trigger the off-switch to my inner-monologue.

“Um. Hi...Will.” My voice came out part mumble, part squeak, as I crouched by the bed, still refusing to look at him as I referred to my always-formal boss by his first name in the most ridiculous of situations.

“Did I scare you?”

I dared a hasty glance, and he arched an eyebrow in amusement. Heat rushed through me, then cold horror as fresh awareness dawned. My buttocks rested on my calves as I squatted. My nipples hardened in the cool air as I huddled outside the covers. I was naked.

The situation couldn’t get worse.

Trying my best for nonchalance, I grasped the closest corner of the duvet and inched it towards me, intent on hiding as much flesh as possible. I released a slow, shallow breath as each fractional movement concealed more of my awkward form.

“Hey!” With laughter in his tone, he snagged the high thread-count covers back to his side of the bed. “You’re making me cold!”

I risked another peek over at him before searing afresh at his identical extreme lack of clothes. Naked...in bed. Oh God, naked in bed with my naked boss. No memory of getting there. And I’d started to grow cold again, too.

Note to self: Things could always get worse. Always.

DONT FORGET TO GO OVER THE BLOGS BELOW FOR PART 2 TOMORROW

The Awesome Participating Blogs, Authors and Fans (WE Thank You xx)

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AUTHOR BIO

From a magical land of castles and kings (Okay, it’s England), Gina doesn’t feel as old as she looks, owns three children who can’t be tamed, and writes in spare – usually stolen – time. She sometimes bakes—not always with quite the desired results, and has found the only solution to keeping the characters in her head quiet is to placate them with lots of other lovely books and worlds. She has been published by Decadent Publishing, who currently have two of her books, both of which are romance titles – “Her Dollmaker’s Desire” and “Her Undercover Christmas”.

Social Media Links:

Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/ginawriteswords/

Twitter: @Gina_Wynn on Twitter

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Website: http://ginawriteswords.com/

Email: [email protected]

#Chapter Reveal Tour #Gina Wynn #What You Wish For #Hosted by Teaser Addicts PR

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