#touching lana’s arm she called him out on it and he was like wtf are you talking about and she’s like you know what im talking about and he- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

laketaj24 · 6 years

Text

Ragnarssons: Meet the Daddies

A/N: Here they are!!!! I even done Sigurd!!! I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

Bjorn:

- You and Bjorn have two children, Rhett (planned down to conception, we’re so ready!) and Lana (unplanned, wtf 8 years later)

- Bjorn works but often takes Rhett to work with him, and he’s actually good at helping with the business. Sweeps and greets customers

- Has totally forgot how to handle a newborn

- Purposely puts baby monitor on your night stand and wakes you up each time she cries because his hearing is on point.

- Helps Rhett with homework but doesn’t use the instructions. “Common core, no. He needs to go to a school that teaches him straight math!” You touch his shoulder. “I have no clue where to start.” “This is why our teens are dropping out. I’m not even in school and wanna drop out because of this.” Looks down at Rhett. “Don’t drop out.” Rhett figures out answer quickly. “I won’t.”

- Watched YouTube videos with Rhett while dressing Lana. Never has her wearing matching clothes. “Baby, why in the world is she wearing those polka dots with that shirt?” Bjorn looks confused. “What do you mean! She looks fine.”

- Does not want his son to start to fight but... “Rhett if that little kid across the street hits you one more time... you deck him in his lip and tell his dad to come see me.”

- Enrolls him in jujitsu and you

- Never wraps Christmas presents, places them under the tree. Hates birthday parties

- Will never watch his nephews or nieces but sends his kids over to their house at the end of the driveway 😂 “Just push her stroller to the door Rhett. And tell Uncle Ubbe he owes me.”

- Lana usually sleeps in the bed with you two, always dreams his rolls over on her and sleeps on the foot of the bed with his feet hanging off

- Doesn’t let Ragnar keep the children but will leave them with Lagertha and Astrid from time time

Ubbe

- you and Ubbe have three children, Davin (Intelligent-Norse) Finn (Finder-Norse) Tait (Happy-Norse)

- Ubbe wants to keep trying because he wants two girls and you sneak birth control because you’ve been pregnant most of your marriage

- Your house is every child’s favorite because Ubbe plans strategic game nights making his team the little warriors and planning out the games

- Always dresses them and gets them ready for school, trains them to be gentleman and to have proper manners. “Davin, hold the door open for your mom.” The door falls on you and your mouth is open in shock. “Dav, that’s rude.” Davin shrugs. “Uncle Ivar says women should be inde-.” Ubbe cuts him off. “I told you them staying the night was a bad idea.”

- Active PTA member

- Watches tutorials on how do fun projects with kids completely messes them up

- Doesn’t trust any of his brothers with his kids

- Enrolls children in private school so they can get the proper education has parent teacher conferences every month and is all about education

- Takes pictures for every occasion

- Doesn’t like recreational sports because of competition and he’s definitely a “everyone’s a winner father.”

- Wouldn’t give Aslaug his children to keep because he’s not sure she’s responsible enough. “Mom all their meds are in here. Davin has to have his inhaler once every four hours and Tait is gassy. Finn is fine, keep an eye on the temp.” Watches his mom wonder through the kitchen not paying attention to him. “Actually that event got cancelled.” Scoops up his kids and diaper bag.

Hvitserk

- You have all girls. Ella, Mya and Kimmie.

- Hvitserk is shocked with each one thinks your just gaining weight because he cooks so often

- Your youngest kimmie is his partner and crime and she doesn’t know it. He draws on her, and eats food off of her back while she sleeps

- Is the yes parent, can’t say no to anything they ask “Can we play outswide on the swing pulease?” Ella asks after her mom said no. “Of course.”

- Always catching his kids mid fall like a ninja

- Doesn’t help with homework, doesn’t know how to do it and stops after reading directions. Even if he knows how he pushes the kids off on you. “Match all the pairs...” he stares down at the jumbled mess of pictures. “Your mom is actually really good at matching anything! Go find her.”

- Plays hide and go seek with kids and falls asleep while seeking the kids

- Will let the children go with anyone at any time

- Never has everything he needs in the diaper bag.

- But packs the best lunches

- Attempts to comb their hair-fails. “Their ponytails just won’t stay in the right place.” You glance down at Ella’s ponytail on top of her head nearly at her forehead. “You tried.”

- Attends all the sporting events and is a very proactive parent, “Hey... is there a reason Mya isn’t playing because she’s better than like half of the kids out there with playing time.”

- Sleeps in their forts, is more intrigued with their cartoons than they are, “So hold up... Dora didn’t even call on the map this time?”

Sigurd

- you and Sigurd have two kids. Whitney and Michael, not a coincidence they are named after music icons

- He teaches them music at a young age. Whitney the cello and Michael the guitar

- Rarely lets them around his family ever

- Spoils them with toys they don’t need but never complains. They have more fake drum sets and pianos than he does real

- Enrolls them in every play the neighborhood has and is usually part of parenting committees

- Teaches Whitney the minor scales and he and her harmonize notes hiding in the closet trying to convince you the house is haunted.

- Goes to the school most mornings but doesn’t converse with parents or teachers unless necessary

- Has them on a set schedule and gets mad when you don’t follow it. “Hey did Michael take his nap at three?” You shuffle through the kitchen looking for something to cook. “No we went your moms.” Sigurd pauses. “I mean they are on a schedule for a reason, damn it. My mom doesn’t even know their names half the time.

- Tucks them in a sings them to sleep, doesn’t let them sleep with you unless it’s necessary

Ivar

- You have three children Omala (Earth), Izna (light) and Ira

- He instills independence in them immediately and makes them continue trying. Omala falls from her bike scraping her knee. She cries and you stand to go scoop her up and he stops you. “Omala, get up silly girl. Falling makes us tougher.” You squint your eyes but watch as she tussles with the bike and stands wiping her face.

- Makes sure they can fight, and they fight for one another. “If that girl says something else to you, you have my permission to hit her.” He shrugs. “She’ll learn not to call you names then.” You push him. “No Izna we don’t fight. Just ignore them.” He scoffs. “You sound like Ubbe, hit that little brat in her eye.”

- The baby boy is always in his arms, falling asleep on his chest or next to him on the couch

- Refuses to let them go to bed without reading first and makes them learn a new poem every month

- Teaches them Arabic and old Norse with you

- Plays sword fight with them every weekend and takes them to Ubbe’s house to defeat his troop 😂

- Will discipline anyone’s kid and dare his brothers to say something

- Has no time for nonsense with other children and will confront a parent in a heartbeat. “Hey you keep your little tyrant away from my kid. Because if he hits her again I’m gonna kick your ass.”

- Tells them old Norse folk tales after they read. Watches them sleep a while

888 notes · View notes

vrenaewrites · 4 years

Text

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 22 - ch 48

Full video here.

CH 22: Baby, it’s hot in here

Like, baby it’s cold outside?

Sooooo much internal monologuing about her first boyfriend and how no one has made her feel like Jaxon does…

“The big picture is that the most popular boys in school are obsessed with you”

“He looks at you like it physically hurts him not to be touching you. Baby, if he wanted you anymore he’d spontaneously combust”

Macy wants the tea about her and Jaxon

She says flint and him had a “massive pissing contest over her” lmao

“Are you trying to be reassuring or scare me?” “yes”

She tells heather ttyf? Am i stupid??? What does that mean?

TALK TO YOU FOREVER?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

“It sounds like every cliche in the book, but he’s different around you. Somehow less intense, but more intense.”

“You can trust me, we’re family” and grace almost starts crying :(

CH 23: never bring an ice cream scoop to a gunfight

Macy FINALLY comes clean re: flint and jaxon are mortal enemies

“What is this the breakfast club? Even they figured out they could all get along” grace just be quiet and let the girl who actually knows wtf is up at this school tell you wtf is up. You been wanting her to talk for so long, be quiet.

Ooh something big happened a year ago that made them all break up into factions

It’s about hudson jaxon’s brother!

Or is his name spelled Hyudsin because stupid spellings

Ooh macy warned grace not to become the chew toy between flint and jaxon

CH 24: waffles are the way to a girl’s everything

I want to hate this but i fucking love waffles so like…

Someone’s texting her about her ankle...i thought it was jaxon...AND IT IS!

“I don’t know the punchline to whatever knock knock joke you’re setting up” I BURST OUT LAUGHING BECAUSE “he’s funny over text” ma’am...this isn’t funny? Maybe a lil snarky, but funny?

Now she’s telling jokes over text and we’re having a whole long stupid text fucking exchange….i hate this so much

Then he tries, “what do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite” and my soul leaves my body because what in the 8th grade twilight fanfiction is happening…

She texts him brb instead of just responding when when she was done peeing and then he stops answering her, this used to happen to me with the toxic dudes i talked to in high school...am i reading too much into this? Idk yet

And then she’s spiraling about why he stopped texting and UGH I REMEMBER THIS FEELING!!!!!!!!!

Jaxon has food sent up to her room from the...cafeteria? Wtf…

He says he doesn’t like the food and she says “So what do you like to eat” and then is like “wow that sounded suggestive” lmao

And he says “i don’t think we’re there yet but let me know when we are” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

CH 25: truly madly deeply bitten

And we’re really just gonna keep texting 21 questions

She loves tatbilb...i mean same lana condor is the loml, but

Jaxon loves rogue one………

I don’t care AT ALL. NOT ONE BIT DO I CARE, TRACY WOLFF.

“I wish i could ask the real jaxon vega to please stand up” i rolled my eyes but i also giggled

“You suck” “you have no idea how much” i threw up in my mouth.

Niall horan reference, hozier reference, rhianna reference

JAXON’S. FAVORITE. SONG. IS. TRULY. MADLY. DEEPLY.

INSERT SNAPCHAT OF ME CRYING LAUGHING HERE

Gambino reference, beethoven reference???, and then brown-eyed girl which personally offends me because my mom used to sing that to me

This makes her hands shake

She plays brown eyed girl a bunch of times

Then another woman comes to deliver a package to grace...from jaxon...it’s a library book

It’s twilight

Insert snap of me screaming stfu here

Macy is laughing her ass off about this because she isn’t stupid, she knows what jaxon is

And grace says she never read it when it was popular all those years ago…

Baby you said you liked reading. No way did you survive middle school without reading it.

And then he shows up!!!!!

She makes a shitty joke to lighten to the mood

He’s massaging her hurt ankle...oh shiiii

They ALMOST kiss

He gives her a little note wrapped in a ribbon

“I wonder how i’m going to keep this beautiful, broken boy from cracking my already battered heart wide open”

Hades voice: we were so CLOSE!

CH 26: the uniform doesn’t make the woman, but it sure brings out the insecurities

He ripped a page out of anais nin’s journals that says some shit like “i dreamed you, i wished for you”

So cute sentiment but you ripped a book my dude? Cardinal sin

Grace is finally going to class

The cafeteria is goth as fuuuuck

The music is “creepy af”

Jaxon sits next to her in front of everyone

CH 27: 10 degree weather gives a whole new meaning to “the cool kid’s table”

He sits in the super ornate chair backwards and it makes her horny

The order is kind of ragging on jaxon about being cute to grace which is funny

We get all the dude’s names at one - raphael luca liam mickey?? I think

“A dark and devastating desperation” in his eyes

And then we got byron who’s more angsty than jaxon - “mad bad and dangerous to know” just like his namesake

CH 28: “to be or not to be is a question, not a pick-up line”

Jaxon walks her to class

Wanting him feels like opening a vein

“I love the way your hair smells”

“My heart is beating like a heavy metal drummer”

We were so close!!!!!!!!!

We’re doing hamlet in class ofc

The teacher says “although you look like the shy type despite your association with katmere’s most notorious student”

Instead of just saying the halls are like playing frogger she describes the old video game where you try to get the frog across the road...is it just people in the south that say playing frogger when describing crossing traffic? Or is this a well known phrase??

Apparently there’s hidden tunnels so flint takes her to them

Her intuition is like BITCH DON’T GO IN THE TUNNELS but she ignores it AGAIN

CH 29: with friends like these, everyone needs hard hats

There are beds with shackles?!?!?!?!

Leah shows up and turns out they’re going to the same class? But flint insists on walking her to class…

Leah and flint are NOT friendly

Damn she offends flint with a buffalo bill joke

There’s bones in the tunnels and a giant chandelier in the rotunda that’s also made of bones…

There’s an earthquake!

CH 30: you make the earth shake under my feet, and everywhere else too

And it stops as soon as they get out of the tunnel

Jaxon is there and being a dick to flint and grace has HAD it

CH 31: big girls don’t cry, unless they want to

Grace gets hit with a basketball in gym

All the order has been walking her to class because jaxon knew she was mad at him

Does jaxon cause the earthquakes somehow?

She finally reads the texts jaxon had sent and feels bad for being mad at him when he was just worried - no he acted like a dick. Be mad.

She’s making sooooo many excuses for his anger: the earthquake, the fact that he’s already rescued her before so of course he’s worried…

Aww a student is playing autumn leaves which was her dad’s favorite song :(

She starts to boo-hoo “grief is a wild thing within me”

Civil twilight AGAIN

Jaxon is standing there when she finally stops

CH 32: it’s not a coincidence that denali and denial use all the same letters

He opens the door in the alcove and it’s like a clubhouse? Oh it’s his dorm room???? Confusion

So it’s like the living room and NOW he’s leading her into his bedroom

She says she’s terrified of him touching her because of the intensity but then says she has no trepidations about doing or being anywhere with him...ya just said...nvm

They go out to the roof

CH 33: Madonna’s not the only one with a lucky star

Please decide if grace is a silly teen who doesn’t know what frogger is or an old soul who loves madonna pls

She asks if he’s an alien…

And she tells him he’s the hottest person ever and that his scar makes him sexy as hell and he's all like “me?!” which is a nice role reversal

This is his favorite place

And there's a meteor shower!!

CH 34: all’s fair in love and earthquakes

Thanks i hate this

When she touches him she realizes how cold he is and thinks it’s from being outside which makes him act all weird

Someone please just tell this girl what’s going on!!!!!!!!! I HATE when the reader is 8,000 steps ahead of the MC

“A craving in his eyes” WE’VE SAID THE TITLE FOLKS!

She makes the move to close the space and says she’s dazzled, GUYS

She’s making the MOVE! “Did you ever want something but you were scared of taking it?” “yes” “what did you do” “i took it anyway” and then he kisses her!!!!!!

The kiss is as soft as a snowflake, as delicate as the permafrost

Then “his mouth goes crazy on mine lips tongue teeth, it’s a cacophony of sensations, a riot of pleasure”

“My knees go weak at his tongue on mine, just like one of those heroines in a novel”

His hands are vices on my biceps...his hands were around her back at first which seems way more romantic than manhandling her arms??

There’s an earthquake...and jaxon is like you have to go

A window breaks and cuts her and then she blacks out????

CH 35: baked alaska is more than just a yummy dessert

Intimidating af is the nurse

The glass nicked her artery!!!!!! The FUCK. or did jaxon bite her?????

Her mom died like that… yikes on bikes

He fucking bit her...this is a lie...i’m calling it…

FINN ABOUT TO COME CLEAN!!!...but the nurse stops him.

Macy is an OG bff she is the best

Or is grace the one making shit happen??

Grace notices the sheets are fixed but that macy never went to the bed

Macy asked what they were doing when the earthquake hit...WHY

CH 36: no harm, all foul

Grace goes after Jaxon and he’s like “our kiss didn’t matter”

He says he put her in a lot of danger by being around her, a “target on her back” and wants her to stay away from him but he can’t pull himself away

But then he does

CH 37: don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer

Leah drops the bomb that she and Jaxon are expected to carry on like a family dynasty sitch since Hudson died

CH 38: nothing says “i like you” like a fang to the throat

She’s freaking out of course

Mickey says jaxon def didn’t bit her and she’s even more confused and me too

Jaxon is in the mountains...he wants her to wait but she’s pissed

“I take a deep breath and hold onto it with both hands” ….?????

Because i have to hear it out loud, “what did make these marks?”

Say it, out loud

CH 39: there’s never a hallucinogen around when you need one

She’s furious and she should be! I’m glad she’s not replying to Jaxon

We finally get to the bottom of it all!!!!!!

Macy admits Jaxon is a vampire

Leah is one too!!!!

Flint is a dragon!!!!! CALLED IT

He’s got fire? With a name like flint how could he not PUKE

“Who needs LSD when you go to monster high?” Shut UP

Macy is a witch DUH

“You should have been one too”

CH 40: be careful what you witch for

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH THIS TITLE

Grace’s dad was a warlock but he lost his power when he fell for grace’s mom...oh no was their accident like a magical mafia hit??

“What kind of witch are you if you can’t do something an 11 year old can?” “the kind that doesn’t come from JK Rowling’s brilliant imagination”...THAT aged poorly…

“This is a less bloody version of game of thrones” shut UP

The school nurse bit her because jaxon used his vampire venom to heal her cut, and it worked too well so she needed to cut through the healed skin with her vampire teeth

Because this is twilight satire so of course they have venom…

“So vampires can just override each other’s venom?”

Most of the vamps would have had a hard time not draining you dry, but not jaxon

I absolutely called it: witches, vampires, dragons, and werewolves confirmed.

CH 41: Vampires dragon and werewolves, oh my

This physically hurts

She’s kind of categorizing the students now that she knows which is totally something i would do

God almighty is flint just a jacob clone…

CH 42: good thing pancakes aren’t on today’s menu

The chandelier is falling onto her and someone pushes her out of the way - it’s jaxon!

His eyes smolder at her

She dresses his cut on his head and his arm

“I wouldn’t have had to save you if you were in your room where i told you to be” he grinds the last part out through clenched teeth

He finally lays it out that someone has been getting her hurt on purpose

CH 43: what doesn’t kill you still scares the hell out of you

Her uncle wants to talk to her before she sees jaxon again and i smell an info dump coming

Dangerous af

“Macy told me she spilled all the tea” said her UNCLE with no hint of like “is that what you kids say these days”. GTFO

“I wait for the other shoe to drop even though 100 have already fallen” that’s not how that idiom works

She’s like “how could he think i wouldn’t figure it out i knew something was wrong” no ma’am! No you didn’t!! You kept shrugging it off until chapter 24 at the EARLIEST when you settled on aliens

Getting the tea on the turf war between dragons and vampires - so it’s not like twilight because it’s not the werewolves. Whatever.

Uncle says it was probably some witch who got too loose with her powers and grace is like yeah no absolutely no one is trying to kill me it was yet ANOTHER freak accident

Uncle wants to sent her back to cali

CH 44: Sweet home alaska

So she doesn’t wanna go because of jaxon, not because her only family in the world is in Alaska….

It’s only been a WEEK

“I know jaxon can be...seductive” says her UNCLE

the guys in the order are born vampires, not made, it’s a v big deal

Info dump city re how vampirism is a genetic mutation…

There are 6 ancient families of vampires...this all sounds like the first draft of my new wip where I was trying to figure out how the secret society worked…

Then he says he’s not in the habit of talking students with other students….we just did...this whole chapter…

Another earthquake???

Ch 45: I always knew there was fire between us, I just didn’t know it was your breath

Dude shut up

She goes to the library and wonders if the books about vampires etc would be under non fiction or biology lmao

The librarian is a native Alaskan with elemental magic….yikes

She does a weird eye swirling “you’re more than you think you are” thing to grace

Flints in the library and she asks him about dragons and I swear to god if we get a chapter devoted to learning about each species via info dump I will burn this place to the ground

He singes the marshmallow with his fire breath, loves it

And he can breathe ice? He cools the water down

He can bloom flowers in his hand????

“They’re beautiful” “you’re beautiful” “but I’m not hitting on you??”

Because when I hit on you, it’ll be because you want me to!!!!! We Stan flint!!!

Ch 46: I’ll get you and your little dog too

Enough

Dry throat around flint now, oh shiiiiiii

Oh shit the order is on the move!! There’s trouble

She chases them into a classroom and sees jaxon making shit fly everywhere with just his mind...is he a vampire and a witch??

There’s a werewolf vampire brawl

Damn jaxon can freeze everyone with his mind!

She tries to stop him but he’s put up a barrier

She breaks through!!!!

And jaxon bites cole!!!!!!! ALMOST KILLS COLE!!!!!!!!!!!

“This is your only warning”

CH 47: the first bite is the deepest

Jaxon pulls grace away, this whole time grace’s inner monologue is her feeling responsible for the carnage

“I won’t hurt you” “I know” “you know? do you have a death wish?”

But jaxon is so disgusted at himself that she's just like “well did he deserve to almost be killed?” She has accepted this shit with sociopathic speed

“The power you wield...it’s unfathomable” sis has turned the corner

“You don’t scare me jaxon”

They flipped the script and she breaks down his defenses and it’s kind of hot ngl

She tells him she needs him and he bites her??????

Ch 48: is that a wooden stake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

They’re getting worse

But it’s not a hurting bite it’s like a sex bite…like she describes an orgasm basically..

Then they kiss

The earthquakes are jaxon! Called it

At this point I am sooooo annoyed because just make him a witch!!!! We really wanted the twilight combo so badly we made him a telekinetic earth-shaking vampire?????????

They go to his room...and she goes to his drum kit instead of his bed, you dumb bitch

Now they’re talking in the bed

The jokes are just so fucking bad

He cuts them off by pulling her on top of him and kissing her!!! In bed!!!! We ain’t in twilight no more henny

“The kiss curls my toes but the yank curls everything else” wut

“I don’t want you anywhere near that world, and I sure as hell don’t want that world anywhere near you” - someone. Anyone. Take a second pass

~~~

#bookreviews #book review #cringe review #cringe books #crave #tracy wolff #jaxon vega #negative review #booktube

0 notes