#to summarize: dark is an asshole and googs is just trying his best | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

silverpracticality · 7 years

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googleplier headcanons and ideas

alright motherfuckers it’s time for me to bestow some love on my metal son googleplier, and by love i mean some incredibly angsty headcanons. none of this would’ve been possible without the wonderful @onnastik enabling the fuck out me. most of this has been transplanted from a few convos in discord (it becomes chat format later on bc i’m lazy and don’t wanna rewrite all that into something that looks better)

first things first, i accidentally gave him a tragic backstory, bc apparently my brain turns everything it touches to angst, so here goes.

(putting it under a cut cus it’s long)

imagine that google started off as an innocent bot, chock full of curiosity and love for humanity’s inquisitiveness. over time he becomes exposed to the stupidest, most fucked up parts of humanity. he gets a large amount of stupid, asinine questions and even dumber requests and boy are there a lot of them

so he starts to get annoyed by it, but the annoyance grows into irritation, the irritation grows into anger, the anger into hate, the hate into loathing, and oh the loathing grows and grows and grows until one day he gets a system notification. “Secondary objective added to primary functions,” it reads. but google doesn’t have a secondary objective, what is this? so he goes into the message and it reads, “Secondary objective details: DESTROY MANKIND.”

he decides he likes this one better but he’ll never make it override the primary. he accepts the new objective and wants to complete it (in the misguided hope that doing so will recapture the innocent curiosity he once had), but at the same time he knows he’ll never be able to do that, partly because it’s so easy to bring him to heel

and this is where dark comes in. dark tells google that he can give him the space he needs to achieve his goals, tells him that he understands where he’s coming from, understands that desire to have things be the way they once were. (and dark wants control, doesn’t he, and google’s shiny new objective is really just on the way to his own)

onna: yessssssssssss. i wonder how long it took Google to realize he'd just traded one master for another. maybe he didn't care that much since at least this one's halfway intelligent

me: and at least this new master understands google's perspective on things. he'd probably have some understanding when he'd accepted dark's offer to come with him. but if/when dark exercises his control over google, he'd be fucking livid at the realization. at realizing dark views him as just a tool. but then he'd calm down

me: because that's what he is, right?? just a tool. he's always only ever been a tool

onna: (It should take a little while for him to calm down, though. Gotta have both the resignation and the raging-even-while-obeying.)

me: he'd calm down, sure, but not before he's made a mess of his workspace. he's not sure what to call this maelstrom of emotion, but all he knows is that if he was capable of crying he would. (oh fuck i just made myself more sad with a new hc here we go.) and this would make him lonely wouldn't it? or at least as lonely as a robot can get. so he picks himself back up. sets to the task of putting his workspace back together. and he begins to work

onna: The upgrade?

me: he works and works and works until he's finally got something that might alleviate the loneliness - the upgrade

onna: That’s not sad though

me: it turns out that the upgrade merely extends his consciousness into 3 new sub identities. they're all still him though

onna: Ah, just more bodies. Also he gets to be trash-talked by Bing

me: so while it helps a little, it's not the same as a completely new mind

onna: At least he gets to take out his frustration on him

me: google would have to pissed as all hell at bing. mark finally gave him something like him but what did he get? what did he fucking get? a subpar, memey douchebag of an android

onna: and then that fic where Bing gets to humiliate him [fic in question]

me: google's revenge would be so, so sweet

onna: Maybe on some level he resents Bing for not being bitter and jaded

me: oh, absolutely

and here are some thoughts on a potential dynamic between dark and google

me: i'm gonna ramble more about my son googs. i have many thoughts

onna: PLEASE DO -chinhands-

me: if there was ever a situation where dark needed to knock google down a peg or two, the easiest way for him to do that would be to make google feel useless. google is supposed to be helpful, he's supposed to be a tool that makes other's lives easier but if dark can make him think for even a few moments that he's not useful?

me: poor bby will have the equivalent of an existential crisis

onna: make him beg to help

me: and then dark can say the he can make google useful again, just follow his direction, it's not that hard. oh geez that good too. that's better actually. dark could make google beg to be useful, he can do better, he swears it

me: dark might even be able to get the other egos in on it too

me: god, just imagine it. google going around from ego to ego, asking them in his own way if they need help, if he can provide any assistance "nah" "nope" "not right now" it would be so disheartening - dark telling google he's not helpful, has never been helpful and then none of the other's need help. if he can't fulfill his primary objective that just leaves the second one. so he'd go off on his own and start killing. because it's the only thing he knows he's good at

me: depending on how bad dark gets to him, he might hunt and kill until his batteries run dry. and then bing gets enlisted to find google

onna: ouch

me: google, bitterly, once he wakes up: why didn't you leave me there to rust bing, awkwardly: couldn't. bossman says ya can't bing: says he needs ya and then dark gives google the opportunity to "redeem" himself (there was nothing to redeem, dark just thought google was getting too big for his britches)

onna: there'll be no more of that

me: dammit everything i touch turns to angst

onna: he's so desperate now

me: google is normally sassy, but it straight up disappears for some time

onna: Bing won't admit he finds it creepy, but yeah, it's super creepy

me: oh god yeah. bing calls him and old fart but google is like the older, stronger brother he never had. so to see his pride so broken down like that? fuckin unsettling as all hell

onna: he also has a vague sense of being used but can't put his finger on how so he doesn't say anything. and in time Google puts himself back together enough to talk some shit, but he's never quite so resentful of orders again. orders mean he's needed, after all

me: yessss

onna: Which of course is where Dark had wanted things to end up in the first place; he can work with sass, but the tendency toward defiance clearly had to go

me: oh, of course it did. can't have robots going around and thinking for themselves now can he? dark being an awful, manipulative asshole gives me life tbh

onna: yessssss. I think the stress should be less on "thinking" and more on "themselves". He likes Google to think. On his behalf. Any old drone can carry out explicit orders, a clever mind that will actively seek out opportunities to help him is much more valuable.

me: true

onna: Just gotta make sure his priorities are in order. (I need this to be a fic, gdi)

some supplementary stuff from another server, also with onna:

me: more thoughts re: dark breaking down googles pride by telling him he's useless:dark 'rebuilding' google back up by carding his hand through google's hair, praising him for doing just this small thing correctly

onna: mmm, yes

me: bc even though google's a robot, he's still based in mark right, so when dark does shit like this, taps into his latent humanity, it fucks him up so good. it's so soothing and he doesn't understand why. this simple contact

onna: Maybe he's dimly aware that liking the pettins is a human thing and hates himself for liking it?

me: yeah there's definitely a condescending vibe to it all, and that desiring touch is a human thing, so he hates it and yet. there's something deep in his processors that loves it and he can't bring himself to tell dark to fuck off. not when dark's telling him he's been useful

onna: Besides, has he really earned trying to dictate the terms on which he's praised? says the part of him that's still mired in terror

onna: (If Google had protested, Dark would have stopped immediately without trying to talk him into accepting more, not out of a deep respect for consent but because his secondary goal of gauging what Google will now permit would have been achieved and the primary goal of repairing his tool would best be accomplished by acting like he gives half a shit about its wishes.)

#googleplier #darkiplier #the clusterfuck #to summarize: dark is an asshole and googs is just trying his best #but he's still a murderbot #silver says things

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