#to justify being a foul piece of shit to anyone who dares breathe in the same space as u who likes a fucking dumb ass
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Absolutely insane line of thought process is keeping me up tonight from sheer anxiety and its like how do u explain to anyone that some niche beef on the fucking internet has left u remembering one of the most harrowing experiences of ur life
#anyway james if u ever see this i hope u know that youre insane and not in a funny silly endearing way#but in a 'holy shit get a therapist' way#in a 'how fucking dare you make the most foul out of left field assumptions'#'about my private life. about my own experiences'#'to try get a stupid leg up about how much you really hate a fucking stupif ass fighting game character'#fun fact- u LITERALLY share the name of one of my abusive step siblings#who left me traumatized even now#how fucking DARE you envoke ur own abuse and trauma#to justify being a foul piece of shit to anyone who dares breathe in the same space as u who likes a fucking dumb ass#fictional man who isnt real#as if ur the only guy on earth whose ever dealt with familial abuse#youre fucking INSANE#get HELP#this shouldnt even bug me cause its such a stupid fucking thing to be mad about#but ig in that regard im no better than you
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endgame 1.2 || heat lightning || finlay || [ re: sylvie, evie ]
Every breath Finlay takes feels stale and foul. As they listen to the words that continue to roll out around them, all the poison they could spit feels like acid in their own throat. It’s not that they don’t want to rip Evie and Sute a new one -- hell, they do want to.
But the more they listen to the pair, to their justifications and explanations and whatever the fuck else one could call it, Finlay, again, finds it would probably be pointless. The overwhelming fear starts to settle into a neverending buzz in the forefront of their brain -- always there like television static, but as the seconds pass, they grow numb to the lightheaded feeling and throbbing in their temple.
At least enough to feel something besides it.
They know that it’s still ever-so-pointless to feel angry. But finally the gears in their brain start turning when Evie has the fucking gall to say Sute hasn’t gloated about being better than anyone else. Not when her and Sylvaine have stood over Finlay like saints for week-months now, like they were lowly and twisted and needed guidance. Like Sute had any fucking right to follow them around for a week straight, any right to call them selfish or act like they had wronged her by daring to exist and wanting to survive.
If the situation was less dire, if it really felt worth it to care, they would curse the both of them out. Would tear Sute to pieces for daring to judge them, to act like she was better than them, when her pedestal’s been made out of tissue paper this entire goddamn time.
What a fucking joke.
...Speaking of fucking jokes.
Finally, Finlay drags their gaze away from their lap. The anger in their eyes is muted and worn, but burning all the same as they regard Sylvaine with a sneer. Sylvaine who always has to get the last word in and reassure herself she’s in the right, who’s been the bane of their existence for ages.
And well. If they’re running on borrowed time anyway. They might as well rip into someone.
“Hey, Sylvie. Piss the fuck off.” They speak her nickname in a snarl, knowing the weight behind them saying it as they lean their arms on the table. “Do us all a fucking favor ‘n can the goddamn morality parade. Get off your fucking high horse. We get it! All our anger over being strung along for months’s unjustified ‘cause you think we should be happy for them being rewarded for tricking us, right? It’s sadistic to be angry someone profited off playing us for fucking fools! Just ‘cause you like the people who fucked ‘round with us, doesn’t mean we’re all assholes for being pissed off!”
They lean up, planting their palms on the surface of the table and continuing to sneer over at her. As they continue, their voice starts to rise and regain some life to it, temporarily sounding more like the tone you’re all familiar with. But beyond that, their words get snappier, angrier. Cracking like whips between their teeth.
“Stop fucking-- for one goddamn fucking second, just fucking listen to yourself -- ‘cause without fucking fail you always take the opportunity to tell everyone our viewpoints’re twisted ‘n awful if they don’t match yours! Change fucking tactics! I haven’t responded well to you trying to fucking reform me for months, ‘n no one’s gonna get a kick outta you disregarding our justified feelings now!”
For some, though, as they go on, the outright anger in their voice might be new territory. For Sylvaine, however, this side of them is old news. It’s far from the first time she’s driven them off the cliff of their patience.
“You don’t get the right to say we can’t compare, according to you, unlike cases here either -- if Gambit actually fucking resurrects this Saori, what, probably years after whenever the fuck she died, y’think it’ll all go off without a hitch? Like that won’t be fucking jarring, ‘specially since it seems real fucking doubtful that Sute’s gonna be ‘round to help her get her bearings.”
They lean more over the table while their words grow more impassioned, occasionally gesturing with a hand to go along.
“In a setting when you’re not in a fucking-- a fucking cycle where shit actually matters, dying ‘n coming back to life, near-death experiences -- that shit leaves fucking baggage to sort through. Even worse without a support system.” For a moment there, that seemed a little personal! “But sure! Sylvaine knows best. As always. Even though she’s got no fucking idea what she’s talking ‘bout.”
They straighten up, catching their breath as the fury clears from their brain.
“...If any of you got a problem with me going off on her, I don’t fucking care. I’ve had enough of her pulling this shit.”
That addendum was quieter, but still lined with frustration. A rumbling cloud on the verge of a lightning strike.
With a huff and a roll of their eyes, Finlay collapses back into their chair properly. They pinch the bridge of their nose and drag their hands down their face, letting a slow breath out as exhaustion creeps back into their bones. Their eyes travel back to Evie; once again, they pass over Sute entirely.
“...Honestly. By now. I… really don’t give a shit why you did this. Speaking as someone who’s got miles in shit adjacent to what both of you’re doing: I think both your prizes suck ass.”
There’s a hoarse roughness to their voice after shouting, and they pause to clear their throat. Having turned their attention away from the subject of their irritation, they’re sounding more worn out again. They shake their head.
“Saying you would try to tell us ‘bout the cycles or help us… you can’t promise that. You ‘n I both saw Mothman get censored when they tried to tell us too much -- you’d be under Gambit’s wing just the same, subject to him censoring you ‘til he decides he wants us to know certain things.”
Even on the moments they look away from Evie, it’s not for long. A flicker away to look at someone else, to look down at the table, to look at anything else -- but eventually, eventually. They always come back to her.
“Really. What’s the fucking point in this. You can’t really give us much info on how to move forward. I would love to talk ‘bout our future, but… all these assholes've done’s talk in circles ‘bout their bullshit motivations 'n tell us how fucking… how doomed we are. We can say we should focus on next steps all we fucking want, but. What next steps are there?”
Any remaining gruffness leaves them abruptly partway through, as the adrenaline fully abandons them to flounder again. The strength in their voice doesn’t feel so sure when they speak once more, like they’re rapidly trying to patch up their hastily glued together foundation as it crumbles around them. It isn’t working.
“And if I’m gonna be--” Their words catch here, and their hands on the table tighten into fists as they square their jaw. The expression on their face grows difficult until they speak again and pivot their sentence. “...Not sure what kinda drama Gambit was expecting here, but the last thing I wanna spend my--... my last moments on’s looking at your pathetic mugs.”
Not like their bright idea of getting absolutely fucking wasted so they don’t have the capacity to think about their seemingly impending fate is any better usage of their time, but.
Anything would be better than being stuck in this room any longer.
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BabyDaddy!Cal Pt. 15
A/N: I’m back bitchhheessss!!! I’m assuming that you all missed me and my fanfic ( at least that’s what my inbox says) but I’m back and I’m ready to give you the last 5 chapters of this drama filled fanfic. Sorry for the terribly LONG wait. Hopefully this is still gonna be as poppin as it was before. I hope you cutie pies enjoy💕
As it used to be I update when the chapters get to at least 100 notes, so if you want more you know what to do. Also, feedback is very much appreciated.
**WARNINGS**: None besides foul language, but that’s expected I’m sure.
Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty{END}
Four weeks.
Four long, nerve wrecking, agonizing weeks since Calum or anyone else had seen you. They were all oh so curious about your whereabouts, not knowing if you were safe or out on the street somewhere. Calum’s been texting you nearly every hour of every day and yet he still hasn't gotten a reply. Not even an angry text telling him to leave you alone.
To say he was miserable was an understatement. He missed you more than he thought was possibly capable, and he missed nugget just as much. He missed cuddling you two at night, those cute talks he gave your unborn child, the soothing bubble baths where you talked about nothing, dancing around with you while you cooked in the kitchen, even arguing with you. Calum missed everything about you from the curls that adorned your head to the way you yelled at him when he forgot to load the dishwasher.
In the midst of thinking about what a screw up he was, Calum nearly had a heart attack as heard his front door open and lightly hit the wall. He stood up quickly, walking around the couch to inspect who the hell was walking into his house unannounced before his breath hitched when you came into view, struggling to pull your suitcase behind you.
"Y-Y/N?"
You didn't even speak a word as you pushed your luggage to the side and closed the door behind you, letting out a tired sigh. Calum would rush over and nearly knock you over from hugging you as close as he possibly could with your bump in the way, his eyes tearing up from the overall joy and sadness that hit him like a wave.
"I missed you so fucking much."
"Let me go, Calum."
"I'm sorry." He sniffs."I'm so sorry, don't leave again. I won't-"
"Calum, I just got off of a 20 hour flight. I really need a nap, so please get off of me."
Calum quickly lets you go and wipes the few tears that had rolled down his cheeks. He'd grab your things and follow you into the bedroom that's felt empty for weeks.
"Where were you? It's been a month and your due date is almost here and-"
"Went back to Georgia to see my family. Told them about everything that went down and my mom convinced me to come back."
"You weren't going to-"
"No." You confirm his question."I didn't see the point in coming back. I could've raised nugget on my own with the help of family every now and then back home."
"I'm sorry, Y/N." He looks down at his feet for a moment then back into your eyes."God, I can't stress how sorry I am."
"Yeah, I bet you are."
"I am!"
"Calum I put up with too much of your shit for a "I'm sorry" to be enough anymore."
"I know, but-"
"Look, we'll talk later okay? Right now I wanna shower and take a long nap."
So he'd leave you be for the next few hours.
Calum was sure to text everyone, letting them know that you were finally back and that you had went back to America to be with your family all this time. He didn't know what to do with himself from the excitement bubbling in the pit of his stomach. You were still pissed with him, yes, but you came back. You could've easily went and stayed in a hotel or with one of your friends, but you came back to him. Your mom convinced you to stay and raise nugget with him and he couldn't explain the happiness he got from that.
When you awoke, the smell of food flooded your nostrils and you were quick to get up, Nugget doing somersaults at the smell as well. Walking into the kitchen you saw Calum stirring at a pan with his phone in his hand and a tutorial from YouTube being played.
"Calum?"
"Hey!" He grins."I figured you'd be hungry so I'm attempting to make stir fry. "It smells pretty good, so I think I'm doing it right."
You'd just shake your head with a slight smile and walk away to pack until the food was ready. Almost an hour later Calum had cooked stir fry, rolls, and even pulled out ice cream for dessert. It was awfully quiet as you two ate at the table, the only sound being the clanking from your forks touching your plates. Calum glance over at you every now and then to see if you were looking at him or at least making some indication that you wanted to talk, but you never did. So the nervous boy took it upon himself to strike up conversation.
"Can we talk?"
"There's nothing to talk about."
"We have to talk about us."
"There is no us, Calum. I told you that I was done with that. "
"But-"
"That's all there is to it." You laugh a bit."Do you want me to be honest with you?"
Calum simply nods his head so you continue.
"I'm deadass done this time. Im done with all of this drama that comes along with being in a relationship with you, I'm done with your disrespectful ways, and I'm done this constant stress." You groan the last part, pushing your curls away from your face."I don't think I can forgive you for cheating on me, Cal. Out of everything that we've been through, that was my breaking point. You broke me. Out of the obstacles and arguments we've been through together, that was the one that finally broke me."
Calum hasn't even got a clue of what to say to you to try and justify himself, to try and show you how sorry he really was. You had truly given up on him, he could see it in your eyes. They way you used to look at him with this glint of happiness was gone. Your body language wasn't even the same around him. You were tense and stern rather than goofy and relaxed. Calum knew he really did lose you, you were done.
"I...I don't know what else to say besides I'm sorry." Calum nibbles at his lip and sits his fork down because he no longer had an appetite."I fucked up so bad and I hurt you and I'm so fucking sorry."
"Is that sorry going to the fix the fact that you fucked another bitch?" You laugh."Every time I look at you I just see her! You lied to me for fucking weeks, had been missing my ass because you were so guilty. You even gave her the satisfaction of humiliating me in front of everyone!"
"I know! I can't forgive myself for cheating on you. I've been fucking miserable, Y/N.”
"All that time I was wondering why you wouldn't have sex with me and it was ‘cause you were out fucking someone else!"
"I wasn't!" Calum cried out."It was just once and I was beyond drunk and she took advantage of me!"
"Oh please! Even if you weren't continuously having sex with her, you were running to her like she was your knight in shining fucking armor when we had an argument! How dare you go to another bitch instead of talking things out with me!"
"I'm s-"
"If you say that you're sorry one more damn time, so help me God."
So Calum just sat quietly, staring down at his plate as the room got awfully quiet again. He had frustrated tears clouding his eyes and he felt hopeless at this point. He didn't know what to do, let alone what to say. The love of his life, the mother of his child was so pissed at him that he was a lost for words.
You continued to eat however, angrily stabbing at your plate with your fork. God, boys were stupid. Incredibly dumb. Possibly the biggest idiots on earth. How could he cheat on you and think that continuously apologizing was enough? After all you've been put through from when he was just your sugardaddy to now as his baby mama he believe that a half assed apology was all you needed.
"So, What about the baby...?" He questions and you pause at stabbing at a piece of broccoli for a moment as you thought out how you were going to word your plans.
"I've got that figured out." You finally say and bring the broccoli up to your lips.
"Can you run that by me?"
"I won't be living with you for too long, it's just until I find another apartment. Maybe I can find the one in the same complex or something." You shrug."But if the baby’s yours then we co-parent. You can come see her or take her whenever you want. I want her to have a father in her life, want her to have everything that I didn't growing up. I won't keep you from seeing nugget, I'm not that type of girl."
"And us...?"
"I want nothing to do with you other than discussing our daughter."
Of course you didn't. Why would you still want to deal with him after all of this bullshit? Calum was beyond devastated, so at this point he'd given up on everything. That last glimmer of hope he had when you walked through this door earlier that afternoon had completely diminished.
"Okay." Was all he could reply with. There wasn't a point in begging anymore, you didn't care.
"If it's Luke's then I'll just have to move in with him or do the co-parenting thing. Whichever he sees fit. Then I won't have to talk to you at all."
"I thought...you always told me that even if it was Luke's you'd still raise her with me." He feels a dull pain in his chest at the thought of Luke having everything that he's always wanted with you. A true family.
"Obviously that went out the drain the moment yo side bitch appeared at the baby shower."
"You can't just raise her with Luke!"
"I will if I have to." You'd shrug." I'm not letting you bring me down anymore, I deserve better. I can do better."
"You can't raise her with Luke! "
"I will if I have to."you shrugged."I'm not letting you bring me down anymore. I'm done with this, I deserve better."
You watched as Calum allowed a few tears from his cheeks to drop onto the table before he stood abruptly and went into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. You usually would have felt guilty or upset at yourself for making him cry, but this time you honestly almost felt joy. He deserved this. He deserved to hurt just like you've been hurt so many times because of him because of every word or wrong action he'd done within the last year and a half that you've known him. It was time for him to be on that end of the relationship. It was, after all, his fault that it ended this way, and you were going to make sure that he knew it.
It had been only a week and a half since you've returned to live with Calum and he was already losing his mind. After you earlier expressed how you wanted nothing to do with him besides if it concerned your daughter and how you were willing to raise your child with Luke, it only hurt to see you. You were nearly always in the apartment at this point with being so close to your due date and your presence was always clearly known just how it was before everything went to shit. You either were singing, cooking, cleaning, or yelling comments at the tv as you watched your favorite shows.
You noticed how Calum would always try to avoid being in the same spot as you. If you were sitting on the couch, he'd be in the bedroom. If you were in the kitchen cooking or cleaning, he's in the living room trying to stay preoccupied. The only time you'd be in the same room together was when you'd be eating dinner watching a movie in the living room or sitting at the table. It was strange since you were so used to having Calum cling to you or hovering over you whenever you were. It was especially weird because you hardly even spoke to each other unless it was relevant questions or plans for nugget.
You were there, yet he wasn't able to touch you like he used to. He wasn't able to have conversations and kiss you or cuddle you like he wanted. That's how he came to the decision that he couldn't live like this with you. It was torture. He'd take a seat next to you as you were watching Bob's Burgers and would clear his throat to grab your attention.
"What do you need?"
"Can we talk...again?"
"About..?"
"I can't do this anymore."
You'd roll your eyes and use the remote pause your show and turn to look at him. The stress of what was going on was taking a tole on him, you could tell. Anyone could tell.
"I'm leaving."
"Leaving?"
"Like...as in I'm moving out and you can keep the apartment." He starts to tug at his lip with his teeth."I'll pay for the bills and rent, it's no problem. I just want to know that you're somewhere safe."
You didn't know how to reply to him because you were too prideful enough to say thank you, so you simply nodded your head. Once you had found out that he had cheated, Calum brought a whole 'nother side of you out. You didn't care about anything or anyone's feelings any longer and you were more prideful than before. You didn't want to admit that you needed help any longer, you didn't care that his feelings were hurt. The only thing that you cared for was your baby girl and her well being.
"I'm moving back in with Ashton."he'd tell you.
"That's cool."
"Yeah..." Calum would gnaw on his body lip and stare at you for a few seconds before standing and announcing that he was going to go pack.
While he was gathering his thighs to move in with Ashton all he could think about was that he didn't even know if you loved him anymore, and that killed him more than anything.
#calum hood#calum hood imagines#calum hood fanfic#calum hood one shot#calum hood blurbs#5sos#5sos imagines#5sos blurbs#5sos one shots#5sos fanfic#babydaddy!cal#sugardaddy!cal#five seconds of summer#five seconds of summer one shots#five seconds of summer blurbs#five seconds of summer imagines#five seconds of summer fanfic#luke hemmings#luke hemmings imagines#ashton irwin#ashton irwin imagines#michael clifford imagines
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