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#tmrrw even if i don't feel well enough i will force myself to go onsite
noxtivagus ยท 2 years
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good afternoon ๐Ÿฅน
#๐ŸŒ™.rambles#i'm so sorry i'm probably going to be even more dramatic than usual this week#wait.... earlier it was just 4 pm.... WDYM IT'S NEARLY 5 PM NOW#๐Ÿ˜ญ i have a lot of stuff to do!#my attention span is just really shit bcs i keep on switching from one task to another#i have not finished lunch. nor the hot chocolate by my desk#huh i wanted to ramble abt smth but i forgot#tmrrw even if i don't feel well enough i will force myself to go onsite#sighh i'm gna have to present in front of the class first period#why did i volunteer again. ik i'm good at speaking but fuck i really get nervous#thinking abt some stuff#n honestly though a lot of pain came with it#n i do wish the world was at least a bit kinder. bcs when i look back in the past#goddamn i really was so lonely. no wonder i genuinely struggled sm w my mental health#i'm proud of my development though.#i could always do more n regrets n wishes will always weigh me down but i'll always find the strength to outweigh that#wait i'm rambling again i really do realize how much i overshare on tumblr#i really need to take better care of my health hmm#wah my study habits have gotten so much worse compared to years back#reasons i can see why is bcs of my health. several aspects of it#i'm still performing well but it hurts when i think of how much better i can do ( i am capable after all ) if i just get a hold of myself#there must be something wrong with me#but ruminating and questioning like this won't get me anywhere. i'll live up to the strength of will i claim i have#i'm tired. there's so much to write. my mind's an ocean#i'm brain empty rn so that's good bcs i'm not overthinking abt a whole lot of crap buuut my body aches this is the worst#oh no i shld be productive but i feel the urge to research a lot of random interesting stuff#my curiosity does not go well with my attention span rn ๐Ÿ˜ญ#but thinking about life in general rn n#while i'm still uncertain about a lot of things as i'm still young. i do know what i want to improve on. what i want to do.#n at my core i do know myself. so i'll keep on going n doing what i can
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