#tldr someone was kind and i forgot how much kindness can mean when you're teetering on the edge and too scared to ask for it
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unexpected kindness after unintended vulnerability. yeah.
#this isn't even like a Trope Post KJDLFH I WAS JUST REFLECTING BC#was at a grad student conference as the . probably least qualified person to be attending and everyone was super cool and networking and i#sat there for the entire day 8 am to 5 pm with the biggest anxiety freeze i've ever had KJLHDFGK#could not move could not speak etc etc#the person who invited me to go was one of the presenters but had to leave early but they emailed me kind of reassuring and offering kind#words bc they knew i was having a Not Very Comfortable Time and nervous#and i'm just. idk. not used to people offering that kind of consideration in academia#like not at all#like i still feel super dumb for having been so so anxiety ridden and unable to do all the networking and all that stuff others were#but it means a lot to get the reassurance especially when i hadn't asked for it?#but mmm#just reflecting#things have been slowly building up to being really rough lately so it means a lot to get that kindness idk?#i also miss my friends KJLHDFGKL not because i haven't seen them but#i haven't been particularly honest about quite how bad anxiety and stuff have been lately with. kind of anyone except#mahal so i haven't really had. i guess. reassurance? from friends or family n stuff#tldr someone was kind and i forgot how much kindness can mean when you're teetering on the edge and too scared to ask for it#mano.mindtalk
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