can i just sob about employee 432 for a minute? is that okay?
because. oh gosh. because. they’re…. imagine. you’re awkward, a bit, but still social, still crave connection, and you work in this office building with all these strangers who …. they’re not blank slates, they have personalities, and you get to know them. but at the same time. there’s something missing. a dull absence of sparks in their eyes. sometimes you feel like you’re the only real person in the world.
if you could only make them see—something is wrong. this isn’t normal. working and working and never going home. day by day, hour by hour. the clocks are all wrong and you can’t do your job. you’re sisyphus if the hill was a sheer cliff—no matter how hard you try, that boulder’s never so much as giving the illusion of progress. the others can see that, surely….? they have to know this isn’t normal. they have to want to leave.
and suddenly everyone around you has that same passion you feel, the passion you feared only you felt, but theirs is warped. not care—anger. at you. you don’t know why, you don’t know what you did! you ask questions and try your best with what little you have. you never know anything, it’s not your fault, they all have computers and emailed memos and you don’t! your coworkers have a collective understanding and acceptance that you cannot grasp, cannot conform to physically or mentally, and they loathe you for it.
(you wonder if there is a hivemind you are not privy to…? no, that’s absurd, but what else could explain the way everyone but you knows the correct things to feel and say and do?)
you only ever try your best. you try to help. yes, you want to leave, but you still try! you still want to do your job—still want to think outside the box! you ask what you’re supposed to do because you don’t know and you want to do it right, and they look at you in that way, and you know you messed up again, but you don’t know how, never how, or how to fix it, how to do better, how to make anyone like you. what are you doing wrong? what are you doing wrong?
you want to scream at them that you would do your job if you fucking could. if they’d give you a single pencil, just once, you could show them! you could! but they don’t, only look at you with disdain and fury in their eyes, and you know that if you did scream you’d be reported. when the others emote, it is correct, it is according to plan, but when you do it you are breaking the schedule, and that leads to more anger and hatred your way, leads to laughter behind your back.
and you don’t know why. you never know why. you’re trying with what you are given, and they will always hate you, and you can never leave, and the boulder will never move more than a few inches up the cliff before it crushes you again.
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[HORROR⚠️]
Timekeeper/Settings Person (human form) redesign [Blank Scripts AU]
His human name is Tom Keeper.
(A recently given name due to the Timekeeper/Settings Person having already forgotten their old human name.)
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