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arcadian-asgardian · 1 month

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Ineffable husbands titbits 5/?

(except it's just Aziraphale this time)

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“Have you ever been to Heaven?”

It wasn’t a question Aziraphale had been expecting from this young person who’d come into the bookshop to shelter from the rain. They’d made a bit of polite conversation earlier, and Aziraphale had felt a little as though they had been scrutinising him with curious glances while they had sat at one of the sofas, flicking through their mobile phone and a few vibrant fliers they had entered with.

They seemed to float the question hesitantly, as if not completely sure, yet somehow reassured that Aziraphale was a good person to be asking. He wasn’t sure what might have led them to suspect that he was an angel, but he saw no harm in endeavouring to answer them truthfully.

Had he ever been to Heaven?

“Oh, yes. Many times,” he replied.

“Oh! What’s it like?” the young person asked him eagerly.

Aziraphale paused, before answering tactfully. “It’s… nice, if you like that sort of thing. Very clean. Lots of space.”

“Sounds good,” they nodded, though their enthusiasm seemed somewhat dulled by his answer. “But you don’t really like it then?” they probed.

“Not overly much,” Aziraphale admitted. “I’m afraid I don’t terribly fit in there. The others of my kind don’t seem to like me very much. And all the light tends to give me a headache.”

The young person winced in sympathy. “Ah, I’m sorry. That sucks,” they said. “You’d think they’d make everyone feel welcome somewhere like that.”

Aziraphale hummed a glum agreement. There was an awkward silence as both parties felt the thread of conversation grow thin.

“Is the music at least good?” they piped up at last.

“The music?” Thoughts of celestial harmonies and Climbing Every Mountain entered Aziraphale’s mind, and he tried not to look visibly disgusted.

“That’s not really to my taste either, I’m afraid.”

“Fair enough,” the young person shrugged. “Well, I guess it’s not the only gay nightclub,” they finished with a sigh.

Aziraphale blinked. “Sorry, gay nightclub?”

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