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pigsocks · 6 years

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WAHEY TIME TO GET A-DUNGEONING

our sea elf player is not feeling so hot so she is sitting this one out, but we’re keeping her updated! Also we aren’t going to do anything super drastic or plot-heavy without her!

on our way to the capital of Khurl! Which is.... also just called Khurl

VINTAGE MEMERY and also a lot of OOC nonsense

so before we leave Eternus we all went to a restaurant and ordered whatever our characters would eat... Gilly ordered 3 bowls of chocolate-covered coffee beans and after getting super hyper for a bit she immediately conked out (thereby safely writing her out for this session!)... BACK INTO THE KITTEN CABOODLE (our Bag of Holding) SHE GOES

HEY THERE’S NO LEGAL DRINKING AGE IN ETERNUS

we are discussing what to do next and decide to take the Warren of Hands.... the slow but steady crowdsurfing option :’D if you’ll recall, it’s literally zombies in a rock tunnel and you are being gently crowdsurfed via their hands all the way to your destination :’D

WE KEEP GETTING SIDETRACKED “do the zombies make noise?” “Well occasionally they let out a death rattle” “>:IIIIIII” “exactly one of them is humming Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch”

there’s a three hour period where the zombies just stop. They dropped us, and we could distantly hear cawing.... then they pick us up and continue on our way

the zombos lift us up to some arms poking out of the walls, which lift us up to a regular zombo and then WE’RE OUTTA THERE

it’s about 4 am and now we wanna look for an inn... inns are more geared towards travellers and are usually connected to taverns (and are cheaper), whereas hotels are more more for tourists... we decide to spring for a hotel

behind the front desk..... is a vampire :’D THIS ONE LOOKS AWFULLY FAMILIAR (us: OH SHIT OH GOD) ...... she looks at us and frowns :’D

“Oh NOW you’re okay with turning around and leaving me alone! NOW you’re okay with letting bygones be bygones!” - we immediately do a 180 and bounce the fuck outta there

so we go to a different place and there’s a dude there wearing the standard zombo gear. and he doesn’t look.... good, exactly............. “Welcome to the Closed Eyes Hotel, may I take your coats? -gross sniffing noises-” “No we’re good :I”

he turns around and his head turns a little more than it ought to.... he rearranges his body and after he gives us the key he just fuckin.... takes a whole ass arm and bites a finger off of it and wishes us “sweet dreams” while smiling and eating oh god

turns out that guy was a ghoul! Like a stronger and slightly smarter zombo, with independence and shit

turns out it’s actually a super nice room but TOO BAD IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE HOT WATER....

we plan to take turns keeping watch while we sleep, and during the night at the window we see a familiar face.............. she’s just looking in at us at frowning >:[ but then there’s a ring of light that appears around her neck and yanks her back down!! Like some kind of leash made of light.... the lady holding it wags her finger at the vamp before dragging her away

it looked kinda like sunlight? (Shaman rolled an 11 for his arcana check) So like this lady has some power over the vamp we had before.... and she DID mention being treated like a slave

Julienn offers to help Jack cut her hair and had to roll performance for it..... THANK GOD I GOT A 19 and now Jack has lovely very cool braids! (she has natural/black hair)

the hotel has one of the signs that says “WE ABSOLUTELY DO NOT SERVE HUMANOID MEAT :)” so obviously we are disinclined to trust it :’D still had breakfast there tho

Gilly wakes up at one point and asks for more coffee (”NONE FOR YOU YOU’RE CUT OFF”) and then falls asleep again..... at one point she wakes up and offers to take the night watch.... before falling asleep again :B

we get to the ferry and we get our tickets but the guy at the ticket booth makes no move to remove the weird organic trackers that Shaman and Gilly had implanted in... we ask about it and the guy points to the same line they had to stand in to get it out

“Well, I don’t have anyone on my list fitting your descriptions, but I can sense it still moving within you.” He extends his arm and it kinda pops out of Shaman’s arm and back into the guy’s! Thank god it was relatively painless!

our DM told us that he was actually gonna have the guards conspire to keep them inside us as per Sirkus’ secret instructions....... BUT SUCK IT, SIRKUS

BACK IN THE LAND OF ILLEGAL NECROMANCY THANK GOD AGH

we decide to hop the train to Khurl and on the way there we see some wanted posters with some PRRREEEETTY familiar faces on them (”I don’t know who that cat is but they look aaaaawfully handsome~”), so we decide to give Jack a makeover! Since she just ... looked like her wanted poster ahaha

I rolled high on my Deception check to use me disguise kit so Jack now looks actually different from her wanted poster :’D She opts to wear contact lenses (”made of real glass! now you take -1 to perception checks”) and now her eyes are brown

no one recognizes us on the train though thank god and TIME SKIP the trip passes without incident for once and we get to Khurl!

there’s one big-ass blue mountain in the centre of the city and the queen’s palace is just kinda chiseled out of the side of it, which is very cool

there’s the general sense that things here are inspired by the Underdark, with a lot of odd angles and corkscrews, and tons of sculptures that are of weird creatures that look like they ought not be able to exist

and at the base of the mountain and under the palace, it’s the only legally recognized and the biggest entrance to the Underdark (there ARE other entrances but no one really acknowledges those because they are either guarded very well, or impossible to)

the tournament that we need to sign up for is a big arena in the mouth of the cave

we have been a-travellin’ for about 57ish days! We hella jumped the gun though, and we actually have 30 of our 40 days left before the tournament starts :’D

we learn a bit about Julienn, in that while they are indeed from Khurl, they didn’t really spend a whole lot of time in the main city as much, they travelled around a lot (but their home town is closer to the forest edge)

they REALLY love the Underdark here and a lot of the clothing is inspired by the Drow (”so like.... fantasy Hot Topic?” “you know why don’t you just google ‘drow’ and get a feel for the aesthetic” “......oh”)

Drow walk around here but are very uncommon elsewhere; none of us can speak Undercommon though (a massive oversight on my part, as Julienn technically should be able to speak it since they’re from here but OH WELL)

we wanted to find a place to stay but first things first, we gotta find Callie! Shaman and Julienn BOMBED their goddamn Investigation checks but Jack got a nat 20 so HEY

Jack walks into a bar and is immediately approached by a tall, big-ass orc man, who puts a hand on her shoulder, gives her a big toothy smile and says “hey! Hey Jaqueline, it’s me!” “...who are you?” “It’s me, Callie!” -insert an over the top wink and the biggest toothy smile ever seen from an orc-

they’re super giddy and want to go see everyone!

“Khurl has a lot more of the ‘monster races’ (like drow, kobolds, aaracokra, etc.) whereas the east has more of the ‘beast’ people, like tabaxi-” “you know where you can find lizard people? In the GOVERNMENT” - cue everybody cracking up

Callie didn’t know which tournament to sign us up for, so she just signed us up for all three of them :’D Group, doubles and single tournaments!! Callie says there’s some pretty stiff competition, and the max amount of peeps allowed in the group one is 10.... which means it’s probably gonna be real tough >>;;

we decide to check it out and there are tons more guards, and there are tents and stuff inside, tons of drow..... it seems like there are peeps who are ‘lifers’, because the pay is not good unless you win, though you get compensated when you hit certain ranks, some folks were camped out here since last year!

these fights are not fatal ones at least! If anything could be fatal you are instantly teleported back to the losers’ room, laws about magic don’t apply so anything goes

there is a drow manning the counter, managing the rankings... and he speaks to us in a language we can’t understand.... Callie can talk to him though (”I took Undercommon as an elective :D”) and he lets us look at the roster. We see Lance and Marcus’ names in the doubles section though! We botched our investigation rolls tho so we couldn’t find them --;

there are tons of hotels in the underdark though so we decide to go in deeper; there’s no natural light here. Callie, who is still with us, asks if anyone with blue hair (Marcus) is staying here (no), but “is there a boring-ass paladin here?” (someone did in fact fit that description and now we’re waiting to see whoever it is)

HEY IT’S LANCE but he’s dressed in the local aesthetic (all dark and pointy and scantily clad) instead of his shiny paladin armour and “I point and laugh at him-” “he immediately turns around and walks away” “HEY WAIT COME BACK”

Marcus is in fact staying in the tents outside the arena (wanting to get the real experience, as it were) and it turns out the first prize for winning the doubles’ tournament is a magic sword that points to your heart’s desire

Lance is a high elf (as retroactively decided by the DM since he forgot), “hey you can give Shaman some advice on how to be a better high elf!” “Okay, my first piece of advice is stop.” “Stop what?” “Stop.”

now we’re figuring out battle combos; it’s pretty clear that Julienn and Gilly would not be good in the singles tournament, and so for the doubles team we’ve got Julienn and Jack, and Gilly and Shaman (”Schloggfish and Catberry!!”)

our DM has given us a warning that since we have a lot of chances to win this tournament he’s not going to hold back :’D

we decide to go see Marcus with Lance because we now have an edge!! And he has to work with us so GET FUCKED, LANCE (I do like him though but in-character wise Julienn hates him)

Lance summons a horse and rides off on it, but not before flipping us off

“I want to see big strong orc Callie just gently cradling little squishy Lance in his arms” “please draw this omg” (Callie thinks Lance is cute)

we find Marcus and he doesn’t believe it’s us.... Gilly wakes up enough to wave at him though and he is appeased. Lance doesn’t believe we can fight though (“You’re just being rude now. you rude boy”)

they’re registered on our team for the big team battle though! YAAAAAY

our first opponents are a team of goblins called.... Team Goblin. WE GOTTA GET A COOL TEAM NAME

“boring old Lance just sits in his fancy hotel room reading about drow stuff” “WHAT A NERD AMIRITE” (magic nerds amirite)

poor sweet innocent Lance... “should Gilly really be fighting? She’s such a beautiful delicate flower-” cue us laughing in and out of character, though we had a nice heartwarming moment of all of us defending Gilly against Lance being snarky and rude about our fighting abilities (”She seems like a worthwhile addition to the team.” “SHE ABSOLUTELY IS, FUCK YOU” - Julienn “I’ve seen her stab shit, she’s not bad in a fight at all” - Shaman)

#DnD shenanigans #this was a funny one gfljklfdggd #SO MUCH CHOICE DIALOGUE #I love all our NPCs and our DM's character voices for them

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