#this post brought to you by me wishing I could do a really nice greenscaped betta tank | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chipped-chimera · 4 months

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I think one of the most frustrating things about this whole Self Growth! Uncovering and recovering from the trauma! Finally developing a sense of self! etc. is like ... my entire life everything I did and how I acted revolved around basically double if not triple masking to please everyone else and minimize being a target. I am now over that. Which is great! I under the mechanics of it, so I can dismantle it! I can finally do what I want!

But I've dealt with this for so long that now that I finally am willing to let go and just do what I want - I fucking can't because my body won't fucking let me because my energy seems to permanently be in the shitter.

All I wanna do is live my OWN damn life.

#kerytalk #idk this is the thing that fucks me off the most #like I spent so long not being me and when I finally get out of this shit?#body busted haha #you're too tired to do anything reliably #this post brought to you by me wishing I could do a really nice greenscaped betta tank #but shouldn't because energy reasons and my current lot of pets is taxing enough #trauma #idk tw cause I mentioned it #audhd things #ventpost

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