#this is such a pointless rant and i am mad bevause i was doing so well
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#s.a. mention incoming->#I'm realising ng more and more i need to maybe get professional help im just being a pussy about it#last time i tried the therapist (who was from israel but i didn't know wjen i booked her) immediately victim blamed me#for my own assault when i was crying telling her what happened#literally the only person i had told at that point even though it was a year and a hakf later#it was so vile how are you gonna ask someone what THEY did to make that situation happen#ig it gave me trust issues with therapists bcs i havent tries ti find one again but atp#i need to talk with someone i feel lik i am nearing a breaking point as certsin habits and patterns are accumulating#i can recognise this migt lead somewhere bad tje pattenrs never lie!#this is such a pointless rant and i am mad bevause i was doing so well#the last thing i need to be cruel to myself#i need to find someone that isnt just going to say oh wow youre so self aware ok that'll be $150#like bro i am slipping
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