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#this is so funny ksjdbwjkefb
beanghostprincess · 2 months
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Shanks had to do some shady shit with big mom and she invited them for a tea party or something. She must have been craving chocolate or something because everything was chocolate mean chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, chocolate fudge brownies anything and everything was chocolate including silverware and even the cups or chocolate.
She notices him not eating anything or at least picking at it and confronts him. Yasopp admits he doesn't like chocolate never had a taste for it and thinks it's gross. She insist that he tries it because you've never tried chocolate made like her (insert kid here. maybe pudding's chocolate idk). They make the best chocolate, he tastes it and is immediately disgusted. He tries to lie and say that he likes it but then gets caught spitting it out in a napkin offending the fuck big mom.
After some back and forth and some threats shanks tried to come everything down by trying to make a compromise that instead of chocolate he gets caramel. Unfortunately the answer was NO!! if she wanted everyone to have caramel she would have served caramel He's going to eat the fucking chocolate or everyone is getting killed (which sucks because roux was having the time of his life eating a chocolate table) those are his only options. So yeah, in short this grown man was force fed chocolate. They were later chased off the island when he ended up puking behind a bush (that bush might have been sentient💀). He's hated it ever since just looking at chocolate makes him sick and also angry. The red hair pirates and Big Mom are now enemies because yasopp didn't like her chocolate that's one of the biggest offense there is to big mom
Another story is that during usopp's first birthday on the ship Sanji made him a dark chocolate lava cake with powdered sugar and vanilla ice cream with hot fudge on top. He ate it anyway and said nothing about not liking chocolate. Sanji found out of his distaste for chocolate when usopp backed away from him, Nami and Luffy. All three of them still smelled like chocolate when they made it to wano.
Sanji still thinks about that one birthday at night and it just eats them up inside. Like why didn't he say anything? He could have made him something different If he didn't like chocolate. why did he eat it it's not like it would have gone to waste with that human vacuum we call a captain on board. Why did he do that? He did that just for me??? why??? it was his day! He shouldn't have been forced to do that!!! . Did I force him??? FUCK! Did he feel pressured to eat it? Am I a bad boyfriend? Am I a terrible person?? Oh my god I'm just like my father!! /You go ok babe?/ Yeah I'm fine just thinking about...........cake/.....................ok... enjoy your cake thoughts
I now desperately need that Red Hair Pirates vs Big Mom thing canon because I swear it'd be the most hilarious thing-- 100% that happened.
And also- Sanji, darling, have you considered your boyfriend ate the cake because he loves you? Sometimes... Sometimes people do things out of love... He's having a whole crisis and Usopp doesn't even know why-
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