The annual Justice Duck/Fearsome Five truce is going well.

Your shitposting is great my guy, that’s fun. Tell us some random non plot related bs about the BoTW au?

sorry for not getting to this sooner!! when i get asks like this i like to take a couple of days to gather my thoughts so i can give you a better answer!!

- out of the six of them, i think zelda is the most overall mature. i mean, sure, she’s still a kid like the rest of them, and she has her fun, but when it really comes down to it she’s the most responsible and the best at getting done what needs to get done. it comes as a bit of a surprise to people that don’t know them so well, because most of the time they look at serious boring old vio and think that he’s probably the tired and jaded supervisor but. not so.

- adding onto that last thing- people tend to assume that vio is the very dignified one. emotionally detached, won’t let silly little things like feelings and morality get in the way of a job that needs to be done, reserved and calm and all that superficial stereotype stuff. they half expect the trope of the sort of english-gentry type personality. and they could not be further from the truth. that’s how he is superficially, but, like, get close to him and spend some more time with him and you’ll see. he kind of swings between following his stereotype and being just as irritable and generally frustrated as blue and shadow get, and honestly it’s a roll of the dice as to what he is. also? he does curse a lot. he doesn’t always go around shouting fuck at everyone he sees, but if something’s really getting on his nerves for whatever reason, he can out-curse shadow. and usually it’s more under his breath, but that doesn’t mean he really makes much of an effort to hide it.

- vio and blue have a sort of legolas/gimli fighting dynamic going on when they get into the thick of it. “bet i can kill more of these bokoblins than you” “bet i can take down a moblin in less hits than you” “bet i’ll be the one to kill this talus” type stuff. honestly, if they had an encampment to clear and no one was feeling particularly up to the job, they’d just off-handedly mention the results of the last competition and that would almost guarantee another face-off between the two, and everyone else could just sit back and watch the two of them go at it. in these kinds of situations they both know they’re basically being used but neither of them care much. one of vio’s favorite things to do when this happens is to let blue think she’s racking up the points, and then the moment she’s about to strike the killing blow on something, he’ll take it out with an arrow. and he does it repeatedly.

- shadow is extremely lazy and will use his magic for the most mundane of things, once he gets comfortable using it around them. he won’t feel like getting off the couch to get the plate red’s offering him so he just magics it over. he doesn’t want to pack his things so he just uses magic to shove things in his bag. he doesn’t feel like climbing an eight foot hill so he floats himself up. and all the while everyone, and especially blue, is indignant. “if this magic is so important to your survival why are you wasting it lacing up your boots” “because what if i trip??? i could get HURT and i can’t risk it coming undone” (and then he probably gets swatted on the head with something)

- green is intimately familiar with gerudo religion and customs. in theory he’s a follower of hylia according to the hylians’ belief system, because it was mostly his dad who raised him and that was what his dad practiced, but he’s far more interested and in tune with the gerudo religion, despite spending a lot less time with his mom throughout his life. the breakdown of all that is here, but his favorite heroines are nailuk and imura, and even though technically he hasn’t been formally confirmed into their religion, he still follows it all as though he has. and it isn’t a closed religion, so technically he could go and request passage through the rites like any other devotee, but he’s an anxious child and always shies away from completing the devotional trials. of course, every time the subject comes up with his mother, she affectionately makes fun of him for it, and especially so once she learns of their quest- “oh, so you’re fine running around the continent trying to save the world, but one little molduga and you’re tucking tail?” (he does, eventually, gather up his courage and finally go through with it. he chooses nailuk as his patron heroine and gets a very nice devotional tattoo of a pink lotus on his arm. his mother is very proud of him, and they do make a special one-day exception to the No Men rule to celebrate his official integration into their religion.)

- unless my brain decides to take an unplanned detour through some weird plot point, you will never get to meet vio’s mother, even though she’s alive. this is because, to put it lightly, they are not fond of one another. it was already kind of rough on vio in his early years, because his dad, as a sheikah, lived in kakariko, and she, as a hylian, was forbidden from living there and so lived in tabantha. it led to a very odd and uncoordinated shared-custody situation, where he’d be living with his mother for a year and then out of the blue his dad would drop by and be like come on son we’re going on an adventure. and then he’d go live in kakariko for months with his dad. and it resulted in a confusing flip-flopping of cultures, and it also resulted in a lot of resentment on her part, towards his father. but because his father didn’t live with her (for a complicated number of reasons, one of which involving a pretty serious falling-out concerning the matter of vio’s mixed heritage) she was unable to express it towards who she actually really hated, and so ended up taking it out on vio most of the time, and it came to be that vio really just couldn’t wait for his dad to come back so he could go be in kakariko, which he liked infinitely better than tabantha. at some point she got REALLY nasty and bordered on actually dangerous, so vio finally put his tiny eight-year-old foot down and decided that he would take matters into his own hands, and hopped on his faithful and much beloved horse and just left. and one day he arrived in kakariko and went to his dad’s house and he just kinda walked in like hey old man how’s it been. after some mild concern and fear for his safety, they sat down and vio explained the situation and ended up living in kakariko from then on. after his dad died, he stayed for about another year and a half, because quite frankly he needed people to keep an eye on him, and after that he took to traveling, took up the trade of a merchant as a kind of excuse, and when he was about sixteen or so, used the money he’d saved to get himself a place in hateno, far far away from his mother but still close to the village he considered family. this one got kinda ramble-y but that’s the rundown on the situation, and anyone with any kind of sense won’t bring up the subject with him, because he’ll either get very withdrawn and avoidant or he will get very angry. you don’t want either of those things.

- it takes some time to get past the initial awkwardness of things, for a few reasons, and there will always be some bumps in the road, but out of everyone, shadow trusts vio the most with personal matters. some of it is because they share at least some heritage, and shadow knows that vio will understand his sheikah-bred tendencies a lot more than any of the others. but he also knows that vio will in no way be taking his shit- but he will constructively not take any of his shit. he thinks that red and green will be generally too lenient with whatever is going on with him, and blue will be far too harsh, and zelda lacks a few certain points of experience with his background that would otherwise make her fine to deal with. so if he actually decides to confide in someone or go to someone looking for advice or help, he will usually go to vio, because vio is certainly not going to excuse anything that he’s done wrong, and he will be very up-front about what he’s screwed up, but he’s also better at providing solutions or advice rather than just flat criticism and nothing else. and as much as shadow would like to be coddled and told that he is Perfect The Way He Is, he knows in his heart that that couldn’t be further from the truth, and he knows all too well that vio has no reservations when it comes to calling him out.

-this is a secret that shadow will take to the grave, but there were a few little parts of the yiga that shadow enjoyed and, at times, kind of misses a little bit. even though there were quite a few people in there that he held no love for, there were still others that were welcoming to him, and kind of took him under their wing, especially when he was just coming in as a young kid. he sometimes wishes he could see them again, just to see how things are, but he knows that if he ever does meet them again, it’ll probably be on opposite sides of the battle. and, even more secretly, he did kind of revel in the power that being in the yiga gave him. even as one of the lower-ranked members, he still had more power at his disposal than some of the highest of the high among the non-yiga. he liked knowing that the upper hand was always his and the situations were always his to control, and while some of that stemmed from being so thoroughly trapped under the thumb of his overseers, it was also, in some little dark part of his brain, just part of him as a person.

-blue’s favorite people in all of hyrule (aside from her village, of course) are the gorons. she just loves the atmosphere there. she describes it as an entire town full of bros, and even the most distant of them still share this sort of familial bond that she has yet to see matched among anyone else. the rough-and-tumble attitudes and general relaxed air and casually determined personalities just kinda resonate with her, and by the end of it she kind of ends up as an honorary goron. she also really likes their spice. so does zelda. their food becomes a little dangerous after trips to goron city.

-green’s dad actually used to be in the princess’s personal detail of guards. it was only for about two years, while they were in the process of searching for suitable champions, but it happened, and even through the calamity, he managed to preserve the uniform and the sword he was given. when green was little, he used to steal the clothes all the time and dress up in them and walk around acting like a guard. he’d stand in front of the door to the kitchen with his little wooden sparring sword in his hands and demand to know his dad’s name and business before he’d allow him to enter. and even though the hat was far too big for him, even when they went out to practice with their swords or tend their garden or go hunting, green would insist upon wearing it, and even though it fell in front of his eyes every ten seconds he refused to ever leave it at home. even still it’s an inside joke between them to ask name and business before letting the other go anywhere.