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rapeculturerealities · 6 years

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I was 17 years old, married, a mother of beautiful twin girls, and 12 weeks into my second pregnancy when I woke up to a wet sticky feeling between my legs. I got up and there it was: a light pink discharge. I felt a sense of dread and panic and called for my husband. Off we rushed to the local hospital in our small Indiana town—a Catholic hospital—where I was checked into the ER. After a brief internal exam, I was informed I may be having a miscarriage. I was promptly sent home with instructions to rest, put my feet up, and return if I started bleeding.

The next morning, I began bleeding heavily.

When I returned to the ER, I was told that I was having a miscarriage, and that the embryo had stopped growing properly at eight or nine weeks. There was no chance the pregnancy would progress, but the fetus still had a heartbeat. So, despite my worsening condition, I was told to go home and wait.

I did not have a lot of money back then. I worked two low-paying jobs and was struggling as it was to take care of my two young children. I was certain I could not afford a third trip to the ER just to be sent home again. I took my discharge papers and just figured I’d just try to manage at home.

Later that afternoon, after hours in pain, my bleeding became very heavy.

I went into my bathroom hoping the pain would pass. I am pretty sure it was during that time I passed the embryo. After feeling a large amount of tissue pass my bleeding only became heavier, so heavy that I had put on one of my kids’ diapers to collect the blood, just so I could walk next-door to my mom’s and use the phone. I figured the bleeding would eventually slow down, you know like after giving birth or during a heavy period. I remember thinking if they sent me home twice, no reason to go again. I sat down in my mom’s kitchen to make my phone call. While I was on the phone, however, I suddenly fell to the cold, hard kitchen floor. It felt like I was in a dark tunnel, but I could hear my husband yelling in terror, “Laurie, wake up!”

I couldn’t move. I just felt cold. I could sense my family members around me as we waited for the ambulance to arrive—my husband, my toddler daughters, and my grandmother. But I couldn’t move. All I could do was try to hold on to my life while my daughters were crying in their play area, my husband yelled in panic and my grandmother yelling “call 9-1-1!”. All I could do was lay there feeling cold, somehow present, yet far away.

After EMS brought me back to consciousness, I knew I might be in real trouble because the paramedic I had was a neighbor who had treated me for asthma before. We had always laughed and joked in the past. But he was all business this time. Taking my vitals, asking me questions, keeping me awake—it’s a bit of a blur. Ultimately, there I was right back in that same ER, still cold, still bleeding while hospital workers tried and failed to start a second IV line for a blood transfusion.

One of my clearest memories from that day is when I heard the doctor scream, “Who the fuck sent her home? She could have died.”

I had to have emergency surgery to remove the remaining tissue from my uterus and save my life. The same OB-GYN who gave the order to send me home was still on call when I was brought back in.

I later found out that the doctors at the hospital were not allowed to provide me with the basic care I needed in order to prevent a life-threatening condition because of the facility’s religious affiliation. Someone in my situation should have been offered dilation and curettage—a procedure that removes tissue from the uterus—or another form of miscarriage management.

Instead, I was denied care.

This is because dilation and curettage, also known as D&C, is a method of performing an abortion. At the time, I was staunchly anti-choice, and did not go to the hospital looking for an abortion. I wasn’t interested in ending my pregnancy—to the contrary, my husband and I wanted a healthy pregnancy. But when I found out the pregnancy was ending, I just wanted to get the care I needed. I wanted to be able to return home to my family and work so I could support my children. To this day I’m not sure I would have gotten the D&C I needed even on my third visit had I not passed the embryo in my bathroom alone and with no pain relief.

What if I had returned and there was still a heartbeat?

In the United States, Catholic hospitals are governed by the Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services. These regulations were written by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops, not doctors. These directives prohibit abortions—even during miscarriage and even when necessary to save a woman’s life. This is true even for ectopic pregnancies. When I went to the ER that second time, the doctors could tell that my pregnancy was not viable and that my life was potentially at risk, but that didn’t matter. Because the fetus still had a heartbeat, they were unable to care for me.

I now realize that I’m not alone in this treatment, or lack thereof. It’s estimated that one in six hospital beds in this country are at hospitals and facilities subjected to the Ethical and Religious Directives. For many people—myself included—that facility might be their closest hospital or the only one in their entire community.

What’s worse is that many people don’t realize that religious facilities have these harmful regulations in place. In fact, they might not even realize some facilities are religious at all. This is exactly what happened to me when I was 17: No doctor at my hospital told me that I would have to go to another facility to get the care I needed, and I ended up nearly dead on the table as a result.

This happened to me in Indiana over 20 years ago, but it still really threatens and endangers a lot of people in need of life-saving care all across the country to this day. And things are likely to get even worse: In January, the Trump administration proposed new rules that seek to allow health care institutions or employees to impose their religious beliefs on their patients, regardless of the harm it causes.

The White House proposed a gag rule to restrict family planning funding from clinics and hospitals that conduct or refer for abortion. We have yet to see how far reaching the impact will be.

Women of color are the most at risk as we are more likely to get pregnancy carefrom Catholic hospitals.

Religious freedom is absolutely important in our country. It’s something that should be protected, and people should be allowed to practice their faith, however they choose. But medical care should protect the life and health of the patient—not prioritize the beliefs of religious organizations, providers, or lawmakers with a political agenda.

This is, in the most literal sense, a matter of life and death.

#miscarriage #Ethical and Religious Directives #reproductive rights #Health Care #voices #religion #pregnancy

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cameronsaunders95 · 4 years

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automatismoateo · 4 years

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God isn't pro-life, and any Christian who tells you otherwise hasn't done their homework. via /r/atheism

Submitted November 23, 2019 at 03:56AM by violenceandbeethoven (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2D5F7xv) God isn't pro-life, and any Christian who tells you otherwise hasn't done their homework.

51% of Christians say abortion should be illegal in most or all cases.[1] The most common argument among Christians who oppose abortion is that God (or, let's be honest, the concept of God) forbids it, and that this makes it immoral.

However, this is just untrue. Not only does God permit abortion, but he gave instructions to Moses on how to perform abortions. Consequently, God cannot believe that fetuses are the moral equivalent of persons. Since fetuses being the moral equivalent of persons is the lynchpin of most pro-life arguments, God is not pro-life.

That's your TL;DR. If you want the proof, get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy.

———————————————————————————————-

In Numbers 5, God instructs his followers to administer abortions to unfaithful wives:

The priest [...] shall make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering will enter her[...] If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse.*

Numbers 5:23-27, NIV

Thus, God commands—or at the very least, permits—his followers to abort fetuses conceived in adultery.

Nevertheless, God does not permit the murder of a child who has been born of adultery. Not only has it never been Christian or Judaic practice to kill children born of adultery, but they are not specifically exempted from the commandment against killing. Subsequently, there is no Biblical evidence to suggest that children born of adultery should be murdered. Thus, I hope it is not too controversial† to conclude that God does not allow the murder of a child conceived in adultery.

Since it is immoral to murder children conceived in adultery, but it is commanded or permitted to kill fetuses conceived by adultery, God must recognize a morally significant difference between a fetus conceived in adultery and a child conceived in adultery in order to justify treating them differently.

Although this should go without saying, it still needs to be said: since both the fetus and child were conceived in adultery, conception in adultery obviously cannot have any relevance to this question, because a non-difference cannot be a difference, much less a morally significant one.

Having excluded the similarities, there is only one difference between the fetus and child: one is a fetus and one is a child.‡ Therefore, this must be the difference God considers morally significant. It is also self-evident that no two things with morally significant differences can be morally equivalent.

Therefore, God does not think fetuses are morally equivalent to children.

Consequently, God would reject any pro-life argument that assumes the moral equivalence of fetuses and children.

Nearly all pro-life arguments assume the moral equivalence of fetuses and children, so God would reject nearly all pro-life arguments.

Most pro-life arguments from Christians rely on the fact that God is pro-life. Yet God would reject nearly all pro-life arguments. If one would reject nearly all the arguments for a position, it is reasonable to conclude that one does not support that position.

Therefore, God is not pro-life.

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Some endnotes:

*Shockingly, some people get upset about this verse, and call into question the respectable scholarship of the translators. No matter. The New Revised Standard Version, the translation most commonly preferred by biblical scholars[2], concurs with the NIV:

When he [the priest] has made her drink the water, then, if she has defiled herself and has been unfaithful to her husband, the water that brings the curse shall enter into her and cause bitter pain, and her womb shall discharge, her uterus drop, and the woman shall become an execration among her people.

The uterine lining is shed in pharmacologic abortions. In fact, the physical symptoms the NRSV describes are strikingly similar to the outcome of taking an abortifacient:[3]

[T]he first pill helps break down the uterine lining that a woman normally sheds during her period, so that the embryo can detach from the uterine wall. After that happens […] a woman dissolves four 200 mcg misoprostol tablets in her mouth. This second medication, which is also used to induce labor, helps expel the detached embryo.

But don’t just take the NSRV’s word for it: St. Jerome’s translation says the same thing. In its original Latin (emphasis mine):

Quas cum biberit, si polluta est, et contempto viro adulterii rea, pertransibunt eam aquae maledictionis, et inflato ventre, computrescet femur: eritque mulier in maledictionem, et in exemplum omni populo.

Let me translate the Latin for you:

If she is defiled when she drinks these [waters], and the accused has [indeed] humiliated her husband by her adultery, the accursed waters shall pass into her, and as her womb swells, her loins shall rot; this woman shall become a curse, and an example unto the entire people.

I will emphasize two things from Jerome’s Latin to evidence the accuracy of my translation of the two most important words:

Jerome's use of the word ventre invokes the exact same word for “womb” used in the Hail Mary (“benedictus fructus ventris tuis, Iesus.”)

Jerome’s subsequent use of "femur" is not the literal translation ("thigh"), but a euphemism for one's loins which he also uses in Genesis 46:26 when he discusses the sons of Jacob “coming out of his loins.” If “femur” did not have this figurative meaning, Jerome would have written that Jacob’s sons came from his thighs— and when last I checked, thighs were not reproductive organs.

Summarily, all the translations are clear—even explicit—about the “bitter water’s” effects: it causes an abortion.

—

†At the conclusion of this argument, a pro-life Christian may feel tempted to attack the premise that God forbids the killing of a child born of adultery because God does not specifically forbid it. Yet claiming that a certain type of murder is permissible if God did not specifically forbid it would permit every type of murder. Worse still, killing a child who did nothing to deserve it is an especially disgusting act, and anyone who would argue otherwise should be ashamed of themselves.

‡ This is a simplification, because the distinction between fetus and child is actually the sum of the numerous differences between fetuses and children. Not all of those differences are necessarily morally significant, but there is at least one that is morally significant. Is it that most fetuses can't feel pain[4], or that most fetuses are not conscious?[5 Perhaps, but that is far beyond the scope of my argument. All I state is that the significant difference, whatever it may be, is contained in the set of differences between the category of "fetus" and the category of "child."

#reddit

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allaroundmelbourne · 6 years

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'I feel anxious, but I'm ready': Inside Australia's abortion clinic of last resort

Updated September 08, 2018 06:50:20

Photo: The Marie Stopes clinic in Melbourne is the only provider of late surgical abortions in Australia. (Supplied: Marie Stopes ) Map: Melbourne 3000 The journey to the Marie Stopes clinic in Melbourne's east is a harrowing one for the 200 or so women who go there each year for a procedure denied to them elsewhere.

Background BriefingWhy late surgical abortions are denied We go inside the only clinic in the country where pregnancies can be terminated between 20 and 24 weeks. By the time they reach the building, sitting behind a car park on an unassuming suburban street, they have likely been turned away by multiple doctors and hospitals. And until the Victorian state government banned the practice in 2015, there was a very real risk of encountering anti-abortion protesters at the entrance. To walk through the doors of this clinic is to have exhausted all other options, a doctor who works there told Background Briefing. "Not a single one of these women will make that choice lightly," said Dr Herbert, who asked that her first name be withheld. "Who are we to judge unless we're in their shoes?'' The abortion debate is so divisive, even medical professionals pick a side. Many refuse to perform the procedure on religious or moral grounds. But there are no conscientious objectors at this facility. "It is a passion of mine to advocate for a woman's right to choice," Dr Herbert said. "I feel quite strongly that people don't dictate to us what's right for us in our lives."

Photo: Counsellor Michelle Reynolds regularly speaks to women who are weighing up whether or not to have an abortion. (ABC News: Tim Leslie ) 'I don't want to see the baby' Dr Herbert is one of only four doctors in the country who perform late surgical abortions. The procedure takes place when a woman is between 20 and 24 weeks' pregnant. On paper, late abortions are legal in most states and territories, subject to conditions. Yet in practice, women are routinely refused them and turned away. Amy (not her real name) is 22 weeks' pregnant. She said her pregnancy was unplanned and came as a shock. In fact, she was not aware she was expecting until very recently. "I felt very alone, isolated, humiliated, embarrassed, and angry at myself," she said. Amy and her mother decided to keep the pregnancy a secret. The shame she felt cast a shadow over milestones normally celebrated by mothers-to-be, including the first ultrasound. "The heartbeat was probably the hardest thing to hear," she said. "They had the big screen on and they were saying 'congratulations'. "I just said 'turn the screens off', like, 'I don't want to hear the heartbeat. I don't want to see the baby'." The 20-year-old said she considered all options before deciding to terminate the pregnancy. "Obviously with your emotions you think 'is it right for me to have an abortion'," she said. "Is it right for me to keep the baby? Or can I do adoption? Am I strong enough?"

Photo: Doctors performing late surgical abortions argue women should be given a choice. (ABC News: Tim Leslie) Access to abortion services 'a postcode lottery' Amy could not find a local clinic or hospital offering late surgical terminations. With the help of some contacts, she learned about Marie Stopes in Melbourne and arranged to travel there. "I feel anxious," she told Background Briefing moments before the procedure, "but I'm ready". From their offices in Brisbane, the counselling service Children By Choice provides guidance to women like Amy as they grapple with the difficult decision. They receive calls from about 70 women in Queensland each week, mostly through their pregnancy hotline. Employee Michelle Reynolds said speaking to the women made her realise just how hard it could be to access services in the Sunshine State and beyond. "We live in a postcode lottery kind of a system where some hospitals are more willing to provide support than others," she said.

Photo: Daile Kelleher manages Children By Choice, a counselling service offering guidance to woman seeking advice on abortions. (ABC News: Tim Leslie) Statistics on the rate of abortions in Australia are not publicly available. However, extrapolating figures from West Australia and South Australia the only states to make figures available suggests that about 65,000 women terminate their pregnancies each year. Of those, only about 1 per cent are late surgical abortions after 20 weeks. The most common reason for the procedure, according to government reports, is the discovery of foetal abnormalities through medical testing. "There can be some anatomical things that can only be picked up on a morphology scan so often that puts women over the 20 week gestation," Jane Baird, a doctor at the Marie Stopes clinic in Melbourne, said. "A morphology scan can pick up an anatomical problem so, you know, the heart's not formed quite right, kidneys are missing, or there's part of the brain that hasn't developed normally."

Photo: Late surgical abortions are legal in most states, subject to conditions, yet many women are refused the procedure. (ABC News: Tim Leslie) Women urged to 'go through with the pregnancy' Critics of pregnancy terminations worry abortions are becoming too widely and easily available. Wendy Francis from the Australian Christian Lobby is opposed to what she described as "abortion on demand". She said legislation aimed at decriminalising abortion in Queensland must include strict limitations to ensure women are given the time and space to make informed decisions. "In this day and age most people are having ultrasounds, and on Facebook we see pictures of a moving baby, so we are more and more aware that this is actually human life inside the womb," she said. "As the baby grows in the womb, I think we're more aware of its little mannerisms." The bill, due to be debated in Parliament in October, would allow for abortions "on request" up to 22 weeks. If the legislation passes, Ms Francis fears the number of abortions in Queensland will rise. "I don't think there's any doubt of that, because the law has an effect of instructing people and maintaining a certain regime," she said. "I'm not wanting to put blame or shame on women, I just think we need to walk beside women to help them see there is a way they can go through with the pregnancy." Ms Francis, who supports abortion in cases where a mother's life is at risk, said she was also motivated by concerns for the welfare of unborn babies. "It's important to ask where does human life actually commence," she said. "And if it commences in the womb, then we do have a responsibility for human rights?"

Photo: Children By Choice receives ABOUT 70 calls from women in Queensland each week. (ABC News: Tim Leslie) But Dr Baird said the choice to have an abortion should be available to women whenever it was safe to provide one. "I don't feel that anyone's less deserving of a termination just because more time's gone by for them," she said. "People are so unique and their life circumstances are so unpredictable, that you can never say 'it's OK to this point, but it's not OK past that line'." There is strong demand for late surgical abortions at the clinic but a shortage of doctors to perform the procedures. Kylie (surname withheld) manages the facility and is also a midwife. She said there was not a lot of interest in the field from within the medical sector. "The one thing we do struggle with is getting staff," she said. As a result, the clinic has turned to fly-in, fly-out doctors to fill the gap. "We literally have to fly them here. We don't have a Victorian doctor to do it," she said. "I don't know why. They understand the demand is there. We'd love to have them." Topics:abortion,reproduction-and-contraception,health,feminism,community-and-society,religion-and-beliefs,women-religious,womens-status,human-rights,womens-health,women,melbourne-3000,brisbane-4000,australia First posted September 08, 2018 06:02:20 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-08/abortion-clinic-providing-late-surgical-abortions/10210656

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go-redgirl · 6 years

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Spare the rod spoil the child, spoil the child ruin the nation ChristianPatriot.com ^ | 3.16.2018 | Pastor Bob Celeste for ChristianPatriot.com

Posted on ‎3‎/‎16‎/‎2018‎ ‎9‎:‎35‎:‎23‎ ‎AM by Bob Celeste

Spare the rod spoil the child, spoil the child ruin the nation.

Hebrews 12

Yes there are absolutes, and yes, spanking your sons and daughters is OK

There are many reasons our nation and all of the governments of the world have become pond scum, and that reason starts with parents and grandparents as does the solutions. First we must understand who government obeys and follows:

5 And the devil, taking Him (Jesus) up into an high mountain, shewed unto Him (Jesus) all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. 6&7 And the devil said unto Him (Jesus), "All this power will I give Thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it. If Thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be Thine." 8 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind Me, satan: for it is written, thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve. Luke 4:5-8 ACP/KJV

Today, too many worship the government and not Jesus. Many who refer to themselves as Christians put the things of government ahead of the commands of Jesus. Many seem to think of obama and other politicians as god while they relegate Jesus to the role of friend. Many look to the parental training offered by book writers, doctors, and government rulers for instruction on how to best raise and discipline their little ones rather than turning to God's word and studying His instructions on the raising of children. The two methods could not be further apart, for they are diametrically opposite guaranteeing diametrically opposite results. I don't need to tell you how the government tells you how to discipline your child, I don't need to tell you what liberal preachers tell you, nor what doctors, and the medical society tells you as to disciplining your sons and daughters. What I need to show you is how God expects you to discipline your sons and daughters.

In Proverbs 19, verse 18 we read: Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Let us look at two words, first the word "chasten" and then the word "son". The Hebrew word translated chasten is yacar, pronounced yaw-sar' and means both with blows, as in a spanking and verbally as when correcting, or a combination of both. The word son, is ben pronounced bane, and, sorry girls, it means primarily sons, but in this context, child. Yet with girls we must always, even when disciplining never lose sight of the fact that they are the weaker vessel.

In Numbers 12:14 we read: And the LORD said unto Moses, If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days? let her be shut out from the camp seven days, and after that let her be received in. This is when Aaron and Miriam had gone against Moses and God needed to straighten them out, what God did was give Miriam leprosy, Moses prayed begging the Lord to make her clean, God says basically, if her father had disciplined her when she was a child He wouldn't have to. But notice, God is not saying her father should have whipped her or even spanked her, God said "If her father had but spit in her face". The word translated "spit" is yaraq, and it simply means spit, as in expelling liquid from your mouth, in this case from Miriam's fathers mouth onto her face.

While God does, in no way, prohibit the spanking of girls, He seems to imply that they are not to be spanked as hard as boy children, and that with girls things such as water in the face, may work. Let us look further.

In Proverbs 13:24 we read: He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Once again the word translated "son" is ben, the word translated "rod" the Hebrew word shebet, pronounced shay'-bet and means a stick or a rod, as for punishment. Keep in mind the Hebrew word ben, while primarily is a son or grandson, it can also mean child or even daughter.

In Proverbs 23:13 we read this: Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. In this verse the word translated "child" is na`ar, and it means child, a boy or girl from the age of infancy to adolescence. The word "correction" is muwcar, pronounced moo-sawr' and means chastisement; figuratively, reproof, warning or instruction; also restraint:--bond, chastening, chastisement, check, correction, discipline, doctrine, instruction, rebuke. The literal word for word translation of this verse is: Withhold not from a youth chastisement, When thou smitest him with a rod he dieth not.

Now hold on, can't a boy die if he is beat with a rod? Of course he can, but not by someone who loves him enough to spank him. Now, before I close by going to the book of Hebrews, I want to ask moms a question; Who do you want your husband to be more like, Obama, Clinton, or God Almighty? Fathers, how about you, who do you look to as your role model, Christ, Obama, or Clinton?

Hebrews Chapter 12:4-8 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked by Him: For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

The title of this thought is "Spare the rod spoil the child, spoil the child ruin the nation." The once mighty, the once blessed, the once proud and free people of the United States have given their God given and Constitutionally guaranteed rights away. The US has left off being the bastillion of right, just, and free and become nothing more than one more socialist oligarchy. This has happened, for the most part because fathers stopped being fathers, mothers became the heads of households and children were sent to their rooms instead of being switched. The nation became a nation of cowards, of druggies, of sluts and bums, not through the Christ but by our ignoring Him and now, we are and will be reaping the harvest our society has sowed.

In 1860 the wrath of God caused the North to fight the South, the devastation was terrible. That was over the issue of slavery.

Now comes the issue of abortion. How much worse do you think God's wrath is about to unfold on this country, when over 100 million little boys and girls trapped in the womb have been used as little human blood sacrifices to the devil?

When a nation is founded on the principals of life and Christ, and then turns and becomes a nation of death, murder and spitting in the face of Christ, that nation can but feel the wrath of God, a wrath equal to it's traitorous betrayal of it's founding principals and God.

I'm afraid God has chosen the devils He is going to use. They include, in addition to ISIS and other terrorist organizations, Russia, Congress, the Courts, the Administration and our own police and military.

If you are not a Born Again Washed in the Blood of the Lamb Christian, you are in for a time that you will consider hell on earth, but compared to eternal hell, it will be a walk in the park.

TOPICS: Moral Issues; Religion & Politics KEYWORDS: acp

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todorokicourse-archive · 6 years

Text

Just in case dandymeowth deletes the old posts they had on their blog (Part One)

9/10/16: bizarropurugly

list of things anti-sj have told/believed about me, this list is not exhaustive

tw for animal death/cruelty, nsfw, ableism, pregnancy, rape mention, drugs, pedophilia, etc

I personally created the Butthurt Brigade and did it to stalk and harass autistic kids on deviantART.

Also, I was kicked out of the BHB because I was “psychotic” about stalking and harassing autistics and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I was obsessed with rape and murder and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I kept harassing people sexually and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I wouldn’t stop posting NSFW in the group’s private chatroom and etc etc etc

I deny I was ever a part of the BHB.

I ran multiple accounts posing as the BHB/members of the BHB across multiple websites just to prove that all anti-sj content is a conspiracy to kill me. (???)

I got pregnant on purpose to just to have an abortion, multiple times.

I kill cats. I harassed staff and admins on various websites for pity while killing cats. Refusing to take cats to the vet, to fix them, or to let them be inside cats. I started a fundraiser for a cat who I won’t neuter and whose kittens I put in trees to scam people.

I consider myself a “shitposter extraordinaire”.

I’m anti-kink, anti-nsfw, and anti-porn.

I call people anti-choice if they keep a pregnancy. I want all pregnancies everywhere forever aborted and I think anyone who disagrees with that is a misogynist.

I use my depression as a defence when people criticize me, or as an excuse to not improve. I threaten suicide over this.

I write fanfics for rape and have been banned from multiple websites for it. I also draw rape art of people I don’t like.

I’m always smoking weed, constantly, nonstop. But also, I claim to hate marijuana.

I’m always masturbating, constantly, nonstop. I consider myself crazy, quirky, and random for having sex toys or naming my sex toys, and regularly post pictures of them. I spam my followers asking what I should do with my sex toys next.

I haven’t had a job for several years.

I believe / I said austistics are being raped and beaten in the streets in broad daylight.

I love spamming people with and generally being into hardcore guro.

I’ve been in / I am currently in groups that have the intention to give people seizures on purpose. I hate epileptics and think they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere but particularly the Internet.

I chased down and harassed, threatened, spammed multiple people for genderbend art. And for liking Uncle Grandpa, in fact I specifically followed the show’s tag to find victims.

I claim to be triggered by Uncle Grandpa existing and that Uncle Grandpa is child abuse.

I run WNSE posing as a medical expert / a medical professional.

I am intersex, or that I stated having a mole made me intersex.

I created Ham Ham Kingdom and left it in shitty code disarray. I did this with several websites and refused to let anyone else be administrators.

I lost my virginity for shits and giggles and did it with a coworker sexually harassing me. Also, I did it to prove sex was bad and so I could post all over my Tumblr how wrong and oppressive sex is.

I have a phobia of Middle Eastern men and it keeps me from sleeping well.

I lie about hating alcohol and get drunk regularly.

I groom children for pedophilia by posting instructions on how to masturbate.

I made a chatroom on dA for posting nsfw, guro, rape, etc and it was banned.

Scrapping a character and story about a single father because it wasn’t about rape or gayness.

I think age of consent laws are stupid and meaningless. I am sexually attracted to minors.

9/10/16:bizarropurugly

And now for the truth of these lies (if there is any)

same warnings as before

I didn’t create the BHB or come anywhere close to doing that. By the time I joined the BHB it had already been restarted several times, with each time having less of the original crew (and consequently having more mortal enemies from that original crew). I was briefly an admin after it had been restarted again after the dA deactivation fiasco, and then was removed as an admin as part of a fake fight, but I never asked to be reinstated, so I wasn’t. Yes, all I had to do was ask, there was no amazing revolution or conspiracy involved at all. What happened was that, in one of the few times I was ever in the BHB chatroom (which was rarely ever populated if I could remember right), we got to talking about reverse racism and how awful it was (yes, really), and that dA admins were being shit about it (which was a frequent focus). So the idea came up to make “secret” white pride groups to bait dAdmins to deleting it so that we could prove the reverse racism. Revolting as it was, they weren’t deleted, but Fuhrer Glasses and I came up with separate groups, had a “fight” about it, and when I wouldn’t say that his was funnier, he removed me as an admin until I would or until I asked. (This is different from what I had said before, I know; I had said that he edited a picture of me and I didn’t find it funny so he removed me in the same manner, but I actually remembered that that particular event happened afterwards and what he was threatening me with was actually a temporary ban from the chat, but that he didn’t go through with, and which he threatened because I wouldn’t tell him why I was asking him not to post it. At the time I didn’t want to admit I had really bad body image and dysphoria because, well, does the BHB sound like a safe place to admit to those things? Especially since I had seen members and admins alike misgender trans people they deemed “lulcows”, which is a tradition these types of groups continue now.) After that, I gradually stopped being active as I grew apathetic with dA and became less active in general on it, finding Tumblr to somehow be more preferable (maybe ‘cause all my friends had left dA too? lol). Yes, it was a troll group, and yes, it did involve harassing others like any and all other troll and anti-sj groups that have since spawned in its place. And that’s literally all it was - the same shit you’ll find on places like Tumblr, Kiwi Farms, Encyclopaedia Dramatica, and etc. It was never a specific group against any particular persons or identities, although like these places definitely featured ableists, eugenicists, Nazis, and somesuch. It’s not a proud time in my Internet history by no means, but no, I wasn’t leading a secret war against autistics, I didn’t send or threaten anybody with sexual content (the only people I talked to on messengers were Fuhrer Glasses on MSN and former-admins-now-enemies years later on Skype), I wasn’t kicked out because everyone got scared of me (honestly that’s a really laughable thing to claim if you remember who the admins were), and honestly the only place I’ve ever publically gotten into details about my kinks has been Tumblr (later FurAffinity and Weasyl), and only in recent years have I ever really openly discussed kinky stuff with people in private conversation or through messages. The only place I could think this claim would come from was when I was in the chat of the enemy group (ie, the anti-BHB) and kept talking about milk machines, which got me temporarily banned because I wouldn’t shut up and was making the chat too nsfw for everyone’s likings (generally jokes were the only OK things). I admit to making people uncomfortable here because I was an excitable shit who kept infodumping at random and I want to send out an especial apology to toonlink about that shit in particular. But no, this wasn’t the BHB and this was after I had already been removed as an admin from the BHB. The BHB wasn’t allowed to be talked about there, really. And I’ve never denied that I was a part of the BHB, ever. Denied that the BHB was all the scary made-up bullshit people who weren’t even admins claim? Yeah, and I’m really surprised at the amount of people who remember BHB and being in it, and even praise its existence and/or mourn it, but yet simultaneously think the admins ever cared about who got harassed or that the BHB was some eugenics agent group.

The “multiple accounts posing as BHB” thing came from a single person’s post that was 100% a bunch of lies and bullshit they never answered for. Other BHB members/ex-members along with myself have even denounced it. This came from the same person claiming I created the BHB, created it to stalk autistics, and was kicked out (despite being the founder? lol) because the BHB grew a conscience somehow and started caring about autism. That’s all bullshit, so is the claim that I’ve made accounts on Reddit, LJ, and side accounts on Tumblr to pretend to be the BHB to give it a bad name or to create evidence that anti-sj people are trying to kill me or some weird ass bullshit that made 0 sense. This person claimed to have been a BHB admin (they weren’t, at least not while I was ever part of it, and nobody else has heard of them) and also to have been a Skype buddy of mine during a time I didn’t use Skype but instead MSN, and as I’ve said the only BHB people I’ve talked to on Skype were original-now-ex-members, which all have attested to this being bullshit. And what’s funny is that this out-of-nowhere post appeared during a dispute with user noyka about whether ableism is real and whether the disabled are oppressed, and has subsequently been used by said user as proof that I’m The Real Ableist. This was also the same user claiming I said autistics were being beaten and raped in the streets, which has never been anything I’ve said, not literally and not in spirit. This claim came from our argument after I linked various articles of autistic children being killed by their parents and receiving sympathy for it as part of evidence of ableism being real. In other words, not just a strawman of what I said but a complete lie. That and the frequent use of autistic as an insult and casually suggesting euthanasia as a treatment for “autists” being constantly brayed by the people who’ve created and perpetuated these lies should really be all the proof anyone needs as to their veracity.

The claim I kill cats comes from intentional misreading and outright lies about pasts posts I have made regarding the death of my animals. The posts gathered have spanned at least 3 or 4 years and are often presented out of order or under the impression that they’ve all happened within the same span of months. Another thing to understand: these posts were made while I was living with my parents still and didn’t have a job. The posts presented do talk about cats dying, but “in horrible, avoidable ways” can be a stretch, considering some of them are just that the cats disappeared, and others died as a result of illnesses and issues that either came suddenly or that we’d been trying to fight for a long time. For example, a post taken as proof of me killing my cats and “feeling nothing about it” was a post I had written after we had put Crookie down about how upset I was that she had died and that this had happened. This was taken as me trying to garner pity for an animal I purposely and cruelly murdered and put all the focus on how hard it was to be me. We had Crookie for several years, and while she was young she was hit by a car and suffered spinal damage, and this ended up being why she had to be euthanized; I don’t quite remember what it was that was specifically wrong, but the vet told us that frequently it is missed and while the cat seems to improve, it will eventually begin to decline up to and including total pelvic shutdown, which Crookie was getting near to. It was horrible to witness her climbing trees but then in a few months unable to support her hind end, because we had been fooled into thinking she was going to be okay. It’s such a specific condition that it is rarely seen or checked for; there was no plausible way for us to have seen it coming. That’s why she died. It wasn’t instant, she wasn’t a baby, it wasn’t a decision made on the fly, and you bet your ass I fucking cared about it and bawled for days on end about it. Crookie was incredibly special and a fucking gift to this earth, I didn’t want her to die and I damned well wasn’t fucking ready for it. Could she have not been hit by a car? Yeah. Yeah she should have been inside. But it wasn’t in my fucking power; it wasn’t my house. I had no control over that shit. That’s your answer to every “why weren’t they inside” and “why didn’t you bring them in” - because I wasn’t allowed to! And no, I also didn’t have the personal finances at the time to take anyone to a vet, not even to be fixed. My parents are fucking awful about this and ever since I have moved out I have been the one taking these animals to the vet even though I don’t live with them anymore, and I’m frequently berated by them about how much money I “waste” while doing this. And that’s how a lot of the “evidence” for this claim is. They take posts out of context of their time and my place, line them up together, and say I personally and intentionally killed a million cats in a month. They said I killed a kitten, because it crawled under my brother’s jeep hood and got its neck broken. Because he kept driving into the yard after we had repeatedly told him not to, and never checked his vehicle before starting it, because he quite fucking frankly doesn’t and never cared. They said I murdered it, and that I was abusive and evil because I made a post about it - about the horror of fucking witnessing a literal fucking baby struggling and dying in fear and panic right before your fucking eyes and not knowing what to do and how awfully it fucks with your head, with your life, to be in that position. They said I killed a kitten I raced to the emergency room because my parents called at midnight saying he couldn’t breathe, that I dropped 600 dollars down without question for the surgery that could save him, that he fucking died in anyway, that they called me at 3 in the morning and told me he didn’t fucking survive. My parents said I wasted my money, that I should have told them not to even try. And they said I purposely put kittens in a tree - intentionally stripping the context of how that’s where they were born, and that we stopped trying to take them down because the mother kept taking them back up there and we were afraid she’d fucking drop them. They also claimed that this cat from posts 3 years prior, that I had while living with my parents and that had been adopted to another family, was the cat I was raising funds for and thus I was scamming people. The cat I raised funds for was a black “male”, she was an orange mother cat, and again there’s 3 years and two locations between those posts - there’s no way to confuse the two, but there is if you’re desperate to smear someone as psychotic animal murderer because you know they’re sensitive to cat death! Basically, they twist my posts of me mourning my beloved pets as being “woe is me give me money” posts, and spread the rumour that I just let these things happen.

When I posted the “shitty artist” list, like every time this kind of post is made, it was reduced and watered down to make out like the OP is a radical hater who wants everything censored, and so I was called anti-kink, anti-porn, and anti-nsfw because of my pointing out the problems with these artists that of which some were porn artists. Which when it came to those it was generally the issue of pedophilia, zoophilia/bestiality, rape, fetishization especially of trans people, the usage of transphobic/intersexist slurs (like f*ta), and other really nasty shit. As a result a lot of my nsfw work is used as an “aha!” for why I’m stupid, a hypocrite, and a disgusting creep. It’s really hilarious to try to drag me for being openly sexual, while also calling me these things. So am I a slut or a prude? Whichever works to whip up the crowd, I guess. And of course, dragging me for the same things they praise and defend in others. But no, I’m not anti any of those things. I have had “kink positive” as a descriptor for a long, long while. I think the peak of funny when it comes to these claims is when anonymous people tried to warn one of my friends and fave kink artists about me, about how I was a kink-shamer and swerf/radfem and they should be careful. But yeah basically these kinds of claims are from people who think “you can draw porn just don’t use slurs” and “this person is a pedophile/rapist/animal rapist” are kink-shaming.

The anti-choice thing is from a particular shitty little brat who is fucking furiously obsessed with me because I told them they’re not my friend and I don’t like them or want anything to do with because they are anti-choice. I kept explaining how and why they are anti-choice, but they prefer to lie and say I called them anti-choice because I don’t think people should have babies. They’ve taken this lie and ran with it, including posting about it on the submissions/pages of other anti-choicers and linking me so that they’ll attack me. If I even still used the word, I’d say they’re the definition of butthurt. They may also be the reason for the idea that I get pregnant just to have abortions, or at least spread it themself.

The “rape fanfics” crap started over To Violate. To Violate was a story I was writing about Candler’s background (spoiler alert? haha) and, yes, it involved rape. Because the story was about how he became a the person he is, which included that he was sexually abused and later sexually abusive himself. Actually the main idea behind it was that he and Zed have both been sexually abused, but each reacted radically differently to it, and I guess the ultimate goal was to write this and Zed’s history down and basically show how we can react in our own unique ways to the trauma we experience. I’ve removed it myself (it has never been deleted from anywhere else otherwise) from the places I had it posted due to the fact it was way, way too ambitious of a project for me (for now) and was just downright written badly. Like, really badly. And I’ve since significantly changed Candler’s backstory… But it wasn’t a “fanfic” for rape - detailing sexual abuse and pedophilia and how it screws you up isn’t exactly what I would call a “fanfic”.

I haven’t smoked weed in a long, long time, and at no point did I ever say I hated it. What I DID say was that it was exhausting - because I’m very intolerant of smoke, so a hacking fit to the point of seeing stars or going temporarily blind was always guaranteed. As for not getting a job, that was when I lived with my parents, and never have I asked for money while living with them; my asking for financial help is relatively new (within the last 2 years at most?). I don’t like alcohol. I can drink here and there, but only wine coolers or Mike’s Hard and other lightweight stuff. Something in particular about alcohol is incredibly vile and wretched to my taste buds. The posts brought up of me drinking/being drunk are several years old, and most of them aren’t even of me being drunk. I think I’ve only legitimately been drunk maybe twice in my life. The posts in context with them also frequently talked about how I was harassed into drinking most times, because people don’t like to hear “no” about this, but of course that was omitted when bringing this terrible sin up. Like marijuana, I haven’t had alcohol in a very long time.

So my sexuality frequently becomes a subject, as mentioned. For whatever reason, a bunch of redditors chose to read the post I made about my first sexual encounter as me being a nasty radfem tricking a poor boy into sex just to destroy him and spread that sex was bad. I really don’t have to explain why this is bullshit because if you know me you know I’m not anti-sex at all. (WNSE? lol?) This same post is often brought up to mock me for no reason because I guess the very thought of a “sjw” having sex and posting personal posts on a personal blog is laughable? I didn’t have sex “just to lose my virginity”. I have never expressed anything like that in my life. If anything, most of my life I bought into the bullshit of coveted virginity. My early sexuality is a real complicated topic, but at no point did this ever become a thing. And when I did have that first encounter, I don’t think I even had a job? So no, I wasn’t going to sleep with my sexually-harassing-coworker. I actually met him online at FetLife (wouldn’t recommend that!), I don’t remember exactly how it started but we wound up exchanging numbers and chatting and talking on the phone frequently. This shit might have been pulled out of the asses of the anti-feminists who attacked me for making a post for the former “why I need feminism” trend; the post I had made was about how I was being harassed and creeped on by a coworker, and I complained about it to my mother because this was the guy I had bummed rides off of. She was all with me about how creepy and stalkerish he was being, up until she realized I was talking about someone my age rather than someone her age, and then she did a complete 180 and started yelling at me for “being so antisocial” for thinking this was shitty behaviour. The reason I said I needed feminism was because my mother and family thought this behaviour is acceptable as long as it’s from someone my age, and anti-feminists leaped on the post saying I was calling all men rapists, lying about my sexual harassment, lying about my sexual abuse and the way my parents treated it (like a joke), saying sex is bad, and etc. The rest of the shit about my sexuality is generally just for some reason finding it vile and creepy for me to even post about it on my personal blog, regardless of whether the claims are true - such as, no, I’ve never spammed anyone about my toys nor posted a million pictures of them? but even if I did so?? what?? Which again is hilarious when these are the same people decrying me for supposedly being anti-porn and anti-kink. And for the record, no, I’m not into hardcore guro. If we’re talking about gore at all I’m a real lightweight and I don’t really find it sexually exciting. I don’t find murder sexually exciting in itself either.

“Seizure Terrorists” is the only group I’ve ever known that would come anywhere close to fitting the description of a group made to give people seizures. And that’s not at all what they do - the group is just a place for flashing images and icons. During my time on dA around the same era as the BHB, rapid flashing images were incredibly popular. Some kind of meta level offensive shit. I’ve never been a member of Seizure Terrorists and the cap that was presented as proof (well, the one I saw) is cropped and snipped so badly I don’t know why people believe it. It also only made its appearance after I asked if ST was what they were referring to (because, again, I have no idea about anything else that comes close). The only affiliation I’ve had with them is that they’ve requested some of my stamps in their group. Idk if this is still true, but on dA when you’ve got images in a group, you’ll show up on their front page regardless if you’re a member, and it will say something like contributor or something?? Anyway, that’s how they got that cap, mate. Not a single person has responded to me about that.

Oh boy, the SU/UG thing. So it began a while ago before this thing in which some little truscum shit jumped on my post about how I was tired of seeing objectifying shitty genderbend art in the tag for the character Mephisto Pheles. Mind you, my personal is always set not to show up in search and I didn’t tag this post with anything relevant. In other words, this person showed up out of nowhere and started screaming at me for criticizing genderbending. They stopped replying after I asked for proof of me harassing anyone. This same person then went on to claim I had attacked and threatened their friend(s) (they kept changing the number) and several other artists over genderbend art. They were just thatmad about it. And when it came to my post about how I didn’t like the Steven Universe/Uncle Grandpa crossover, they couldn’t wait to spam tags and inboxes about how I had done this and was also now doing it to Uncle Grandpa fans and the fandom tag. Again, they stopped replying to me when I demanded they post the proof. At no point had I ever ventured into a tag. I avoid tags as much as possible. All the things I had posted were replies to reblogs of my post, or replies to messages I was being sent. I also never said anything about being triggered, or that Uncle Grandpa is child abuse. What I did say was that cartoons are important especially for children’s developing selves, as a response to people saying that cartoons don’t matter so we should just ignore the problems they present or feed into. This person and another screencapped a few of my posts which people love to run wild with as proof of this harassment, but, again, the caps are of me replying to my messages and reblogs of my posts. And also, for context: that person who posted the screencaps I’m pretty sure was one of the blogs that popped up solely to attack SU fans over this episode. In other words, was dedicated to that harassment they claimed I was committing. Both these users misgendered me multiple times, intentionally. You don’t have to just take my word for it since archive.is has it all. You know, a lot of these anti-sj types nearly piss their pants about people who lack reading comprehension, or take things out of context to vilify, including by digging up old and irrelevant “evidence”, and yet that’s what I’m constantly seeing them doing. In fact…

I have never claimed to be intersex and the “evidence” that has been used about that is the description of a stamp I made against genital cutting, talking about the fact that my mother 1. told me I should have my genitals altered because they’re “not right” and 2. told me she believes intersex children should have their genitals altered, going along with that same logic. You can even read that yourself in the links people provide about that. Again, it seems the people who explode the worst about reading comprehension and context are the people who commit this folly the most.

HHK brings back fond memories of me being a teenager. I’m 26 now. HHK was my place about 10 years ago. And no, none of us acted really well; we were all in some way definitely some pretty crappy kids. This was years before I even went with BHB, people are surprised about it? I’ve been an admin on it off and on, sure, but Heru was the creator and destroyer of HHK. Not really sure how that managed to get fucked around since it’s always been Heru. We tried a revival that wound up being deleted for unknown reasons, which was made by Wolfeinheim, not me, although I was an admin off and on with this version too. I tried to remake the third incarnation but by then we’d all gone our separate ways. As for multiple websites and forums dying, yeah, like most teens I tried to make a free forum over anything. Is that really a crime? Silver Fang Fanhouse was the only one that got anywhere, and I’d left it to the rest of the staff before I got on Tumblr. They have access to my account to make any changes they couldn’t otherwise and have had this access for a while, and of course at any time before were able to come tell me to do something. While I have left I didn’t just drop off the edge of the earth without a word or any way to contact me. This is a really reaching and weak receipt.

I am not phobic of any race and never have I lost sleep about that kind of thing? I did once make a racist post about “Arabs”, probably soon after watching Taken or some other shitty movie about kidnapping women into sex slavery. That was bad, absolutely, and I have apologized for that (which if you don’t accept that’s fine, that’s not a problem), but getting “phobia and can’t sleep” out of a single post about sex trafficking is a fucking stretch. For the record, I have always had insomnia issues up to and including night terrors, paranoia, and fear of sleeping in the dark / sleeping alone. That has shit all to do with a racist post I made and reducing my lifelong sleep problems to that is pretty fucking shitty.

I’ve made a couple posts about and answered minors about masturbation. Teaching how to masturbate or getting into details about what masturbation entails, and about sexual development in general, may be a controversial subject. In fact I would say it’s so controversial I was told my sex education project for highschoolers that featured simple pink circles showing how hymens can form and details about the myths surrounding hymens was given a lower grade for being “inappropriate”. But I’m pretty sure talking to teens about their bodies, especially how they can do things themselves and don’t need someone else to, and that there’s nothing immoral or wrong with that, isn’t grooming. But maybe that’s just me. I guess if you disagree with that you’re free to unfollow but I’m not going to feel bad about not posting purity myth level “education”.

I made a chatroom on dA but it pretty much died within 2 months. I realized I didn’t care that much. It was never banned or deleted as a punishment; if deviantART chatrooms do not have participants for a certain amount of time they’re automatically removed to save on webspace. I really don’t know where this rumour came from since I think maybe 4 people including myself ever attended that chatroom?

The single father story still exists. I just haven’t written it yet. If you read the post referenced, that’s exactly what I said - I didn’t write it, kind of lost the details, but I will some day when I remember them better. If you don’t believe me, his name is Frederik Botip and he is Zed’s best friend, he owns the organic grocery store that Zed shops at.

The age of consent claims relate to an incident with a user that stated that I and two other users had banded together as friends and sexually abused them/their friends and that one of us was using their sj blog(s) as a way to meet and subsequently abuse minors. There’s a lot of reasons why that was a bunch of crap but the post I’ve made about it is long gone thanks to my account being deleted. I’ll need to make a new post on it… But as a part of that one of their friends reblogged a post I had made about age of consent being tricky, because some places have it set ridiculously low, and the number of years between partners not exactly being the only thing to determine abuse, etc. It’s a subject I’ve covered a million times on WNSE. What happened is that person reblogged the post but took out everything but the opening sentence “Age of consent can be a tricky thing” and claiming I was making a case for child sexual abuse/pedophilia as a part of saying I tried to rape their friend. (This was also a person who said that it could never be possible for someone to rape/abuse someone older than them hence the context of my reply.) (For the record because I know the above is potential worrying content, if you don’t feel comfortable with me that’s fine. I don’t expect you to buy everything I say especially now that the evidence is gone.)

#dandymeowth #dandymeowth is shit masterposts

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newzealandabortion · 7 years

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The Villainesse Guide: How to get an abortion in New Zealand - Part One

First published on Monday the 15th of February, 2016, this piece comes in at number 5 in the top 30 most read Villainesse stories of 2016.

In 2014, 13,137 women underwent a termination of pregnancy in New Zealand. While abortion rates in NZ have been in steady decline since 2007, let’s just get it out of the way that as long as there is sex (and, sadly, rape) happening between men and women there will be abortions. Until there is such a thing as an easily accessible, 100% failsafe form of contraception there will be abortions. Until we live in an ideal world where every pregnancy is planned and therefore wanted, where every woman has access to the resources and supports required to be able to carry, give birth to and raise a child without fear, isolation or risk of harm then there will be abortions.

Termination of pregnancy is a fact in New Zealand, and yet it remains one of our most controversial social topics; so controversial, in fact, that we as a society seem quite unwilling to talk about it. The experience of abortion itself is often considered too intensely personal for everyday discussion, and the issues surrounding it are so publicly divisive — so highly charged — that it also continues to be a political hot potato that few are willing to handle at policy level.

This tacit “don’t ask don’t tell” position is arguably why New Zealand’s abortion law has remained unchanged for the past 38 years — termination of pregnancy is still a criminal offence, except in the case where two certifying consultants approve the termination on one of ten grounds, which include cases of incest, foetal impairment and risk to a woman’s physical and/or mental health. It’s worth pointing out that rape is not one of these grounds.

The thousands of abortions performed under the current law each year would indicate that this decades-old legislation is not entirely restrictive and does allow for women in Aotearoa to access safe, legal abortion where necessary, however, this is not to say that getting an abortion in NZ is as easy as rolling up to the clinic and asking for one. Any woman who has experienced the wait times, the numerous appointments and, in many cases, the travel involved will tell you that current law throws up a number of procedural hoops and barriers to access.

Further to this, our society’s fingers-in-ears approach to the issue also creates a cultural environment that keeps women too ashamed, uncomfortable and scared to openly discuss experiences of abortion — further feeding the stigma and making the experience more mystifying than it needs to be. The basic facts may be there, but firsthand accounts and advice appear to be sorely missing from public conversation.

And that’s why this guide has been put together — a guide for women who have already made the informed decision to terminate a pregnancy and who are perhaps wanting to know more about what to expect when they’re (unwantedly) expecting. If the system isn’t about to change then let’s at least create some honest dialogue around how to navigate it safely. Let’s broaden the conversation beyond clinical-speak and emotionally charged rhetoric.

This guide has been put together with help from contributors who have had first-hand experience of getting an abortion in NZ. All contributors had first trimester terminations (prior to 12.6 weeks gestation). The New Zealand Abortion Supervisory Committee considers it best practice for abortions to be given at under nine weeks gestation, and around 56% of terminations in New Zealand are performed at under ten weeks gestation. As a reflection of both statistics and contributor experiences, this guide is largely aimed at the majority of women who are seeking first trimester terminations. Second trimester and late term abortions are a reality for some, however, and we hope to explore this topic at a later date.

This guide is also split into two parts: In this first installment we’ll discuss how to go about accessing an abortion. The second part will explore the experience of having a surgical abortion, and will discuss self-care both prior to and following a termination.

Each experience of abortion is different and the emotions attached to your decision are very much your own. This guide does not assume anyone’s situation to be traumatic, nor a walk in the park. It’s just some firsthand, practical advice and info from a group of women who have had an abortion and who have bravely and kindly chosen share their experiences.

So let’s begin…

So you’ve decided to get an abortion

For many women it’s a late period (and then desperately trying to take back every time you ever complained about ruined knickers, cramps or “SURPRISE!” blood flow), for others it’s a “not right” feeling, or a constellation of random symptoms — itching skin, strange sleep patterns, unfamiliar twinges in the lower abdomen. Something made you suspicious enough to buy a pregnancy test, and you’re now looking at two double lines on a flimsy plastic stick. If you’re still unsure about how to proceed then please don’t look to this guide to help make your decision — your choice is your own and should not be influenced by anyone else, including this here random woman on the internet. If you’ve already made the decision to terminate your pregnancy then read on for an overview of getting the process underway.

Getting started

Your first step is to book an appointment with a doctor, as you cannot self-refer to the hospital. This appointment can be with your regular GP, Student Health Services, or Family Planning. Although it’s uncommon, a doctor can refuse to give you a referral based on conscientious objection — if a doctor does refuse a referral then they have a legal obligation to tell you that you are free to go to see another doctor who will be able to arrange this. The website My Decision also provides a list of GPs who are known to be conscientious objectors, so you may want to check in advance.

Family Planning clinics — with the fine work they do — often get really busy and this can mean waiting anywhere from a couple of days to over a week for an appointment. Many do offer a walk-in service on certain days though, so call your local clinic or look online to see when these days are.

At your first appointment the doctor will ask you some questions and possibly get you to take another urine pregnancy test. The questions are fairly standard — just things like when your last period was and if you’ve been pregnant before. Once a positive test is confirmed they’ll then take a cervical swab (or provide you with the tools and instructions to take one yourself, as is becoming increasingly common) to test for STIs, before referring you for bloodwork and ultrasounds. Maternity healthcare is free in New Zealand, even if you are not continuing with the pregnancy. This first appointment and all subsequent appointments, scans and any other related appointments shouldn’t cost you anything, although an Auckland doctor reported that some Auckland radiology providers like Auckland Radiology Group, Ascot and SRG (Specialist Radiology) may charge a fee (sometimes called a ‘part-charge’) for the ultrasound scan. Double-check this with either your referring doctor or directly with the radiology practice to make sure you’re aware of any unexpected costs up front.

For those who live in or near Auckland there are two private clinics. The first is called Auckland Medical Aid Centre (AMAC), while the second is Surgery on Shakespeare, on Auckland’s North Shore. These are the only private abortion providers in the country. Although having the actual procedure in these clinics costs money (more on this later), they do offer a free referral service for NZ residents, though you should double-check this at the time of booking, in case of any policy changes since this article was researched. This service allows you to get an initial consult, bloods, swabs and ultrasound onsite in one half-hour appointment. From there you can either book in with them or ask them to refer you to the public service.

You’d think that finding out about a pregnancy early = getting a termination early, however, as one contributor found, this is not the always the case:

“I found out I was pregnant just before my period was due — I just knew something was up. I literally went to the doctor that day but was told that it was too early to be certain (the test was only showing a very faint positive) and that I had to come back in a week to take another test before they would book me for an ultrasound”.

While there’s no specific law stating that an ultrasound must be performed, the majority of DHBs do insist on the pregnancy being confirmed in this way. This is both to establish gestational age and to rule out the possibility of ectopic pregnancy. Unfortunately a pregnancy only becomes visible on ultrasound at around five to six weeks, so if you’re earlier than this you may have to wait. If your pregnancy test is showing positive (no matter how faintly; modern pregnancy tests almost never display false positives) then do go to a doctor to get the ball rolling. If they deem an ultrasound to be necessary then insist on them making a booking that day, or giving you the details to make the booking yourself, even if it’s for one or two weeks away. Any unnecessary delay at this end may cause further delays down the track.

The fact that we have a safe, free abortion service in New Zealand does not mean that this service is not without its hurdles — the biggest being access. Access (including wait time) in the public system is, frankly, quite shit, with our abortion laws necessitating a rigidly held sequence of appointments, and also appointing only a small number of clinics to service the entire country. Contributors to this story spoke of waiting up to a month to receive their abortion; experiences reflected by a 2009 study that found that New Zealand women waited an average of 25 days between their first contact with a medical professional and the abortion procedure itself.

Abortion.org.nz has a great resource that allows you to locate your nearest abortion provider, and you can also reach them on 0800 ABORTION. As one representative of the site explains, however, for many women access to both ultrasound and abortion means having to travel:

“Living somewhere that doesn't have a provider is really problematic. Recently started services in Tauranga and Dunedin have made a huge difference, but there are still big gaps on the map. For example, women in Whanganui or Palmy [sic] don't have a local provider, and have to travel to Te Mahoe clinic in Wellington.”

*Editor's note (19/01/17): Women living in and around Palmerston North can now access abortion through The Women's Clinic. Medical abortions are performed in Palmerston North, while surgical abortions are referred to Wellington. Women can access The Women's Clinic by self-referring through 0800 ABORTION or by obtaining a referral from their GP.

If your local DHB cannot provide the service, and you’re unable to arrange transport to the nearest provider, then discuss transport with your doctor. Free transportation and accommodation is often available and can be arranged through your DHB social worker. If you need to take time off work or uni then a medical certificate can also be provided — this will NOT mention the reasons for your absence and you are in no way required to give your employer or education provider any details beyond what is stated on the note.

Back to that ultrasound: you are not obligated — legally, morally or otherwise — to view the ultrasound image. Obviously this choice is up to you and ideally the technician should give you the option to view the image or not, however, as one contributor writes, this is not always the case:

“[The technician] just kind of went straight into it and was like ‘there it is!’ like she assumed it was a wanted pregnancy. It was pretty awkward because she started talking about me coming back later to confirm the heartbeat and I had to tell her that no, I wouldn’t be because I was having an abortion.”

If you don’t want to see the ultrasound image then make this clear at the start of your appointment. Many of the contributors to this story did choose to view the image, for reasons ranging from general interest to “feeling like it was the right thing to do.” One contributor recalled this as an emotional experience, however, others reported feeling relief or surprise to see “not much more than a small, dark blur,” as one woman described it.

It’s worth pointing out that all contributors to this story were between five and eight weeks gestation at the time of their ultrasound, and at this early stage there’s very little to discern unless you know what you’re looking for. If you’re further along in pregnancy then the ultrasound may be a more confronting experience so, again, the choice of whether or not to view the image is 100% up to you.

Once the pregnancy and gestation date is confirmed via ultrasound your doctor will be able to book you in for “Appointment One”. This is a consultation with the first of the two certifying consultants, both of whom must independently approve your abortion in order for it to be performed legally. Again, there is a often a waitlist for this appointment — amongst contributors the wait time between the ultrasound and Appointment One ranged from 7-16 days. Wait times may also be affected by public holidays, in particular around the Christmas/New Year period.

Appointment One

The appointment usually takes place at the clinic where the termination itself will be performed and you’ll need to set aside at least half the day (longer if you’re having to travel), as there is a fair bit of waiting around.

Before seeing the first certifying consultant you’ll meet with a nurse, whose role is to gather all the relevant information around your circumstances, including your reasons for wanting a termination. Around 98-99% of all legal terminations in New Zealand are approved on the ground that continuation with the pregnancy would cause “major risk to a woman’s mental wellbeing”, an exception that falls under section 187A of the Crimes Act 1961. This requirement is a major point of contention within our current abortion law, with advocates for change — such as the Abortion Law Reform Association —arguing that it’s hypocritical and demeans women who have made a conscious, informed choice to terminate, by putting them in a position of having to lie about their own mental wellbeing.

If your situation falls under this ground (which, statistically speaking, it’s likely to) then it should be made clear that you do not have to have existing mental health issues to have an abortion approved under this part of the law — the premise is basically that being made to carry, give birth to and potentially raise a child when you don’t want to would cause extreme emotional and mental distress, whether there are existing mental health issues or not.

With that said, do be prepared for some probing questions around both your physical and mental health history, as well as your employment status and current living situation. You will also be asked about your relationship with the other person involved in all this — are you in an ongoing relationship with this person? Is the relationship stable? Would this person be supportive if you chose to continue with the pregnancy? You may be asked to give some details of the “father”, such as his first name, age and occupation.

Contributors said that they found some aspects of this questioning to be unexpected or uncomfortable — one recalls being worried that her partner’s “good” job would somehow exclude her from being eligible for a termination, another felt like she was “seeing all [her] current life failures basically listed out,” an experience she found “fairly demoralising.”

“They’re not really there to chat about what’s going great in your life.”

Where mental health risk is used as grounds for approval (which, again, is in 98% percent of cases) there does appear to be a lurking and unspoken onus put on women to lay bare the ways in which their lives are too shitty to bring a baby into. An allusive question here, a nursely head nod there; as far as the law is concerned this is the maximum level of trust given to a woman in deciding what’s best for her own life.

Realistically, however, the key, deciding factor in all of this is that the decision to terminate is one a woman has made herself and that she is sure of. The only likely way you would be denied a termination is if one or both of the certifying consultants feel that you are unsure of your decision, or that you are being pressured or coerced into your decision. It’s for this reason that your partner or support person will be asked to remain in the waiting room during both your initial consultation with the nurse and subsequent consultations with the two certifying consultants—your decision must be yours and yours alone.

During this meeting you’ll also be asked if you want to speak with a counsellor. Abortion providers are legally obligated to offer this and, as Dr Margaret Sparrow from ALRANZ told me, at least one clinic — Te Mahoe, In Wellington — will insist that you do. If you are unsure of, or struggling with, your decision then this is a good opportunity to talk it through with an impartial party, however, if you don’t want to, and your abortion provider does not make it a requirement, then you are not obligated to take the offer up.

Following this consultation the nurse will hand over their notes to the first certifying consultant, which they’ll go over while you sit in the waiting room. The meeting with the first certifying consultant is much shorter—they’ll basically just go over the same info and also discuss contraceptive options with you. If you choose to have an Intrauterine Device (IUD) inserted immediately following your abortion then they may give you a script and ask you to pick it up yourself prior to the date of the abortion.

Once the first certifying consultant has signed off on your decision you’ll be given a date for Appointment Two, which encompasses consultation with the second certifying consultant, followed by either the surgical procedure or the first stage of the medical procedure. Te Mahoe (Wellington DHB) and Epsom Day Unit (Auckland DHB) do not allow Appointments One and Two to be completed on the same day, nor on consecutive days — this is a hassle in general but is particularly problematic for women who are needing to travel, as wait times between Appointments One and Two range between two and seven days.

Lyndhurst Clinic (Canterbury DHB) does offer a one-day service for women who are travelling from out-of-town. The aforementioned Auckland Medical Aid Centre also offers a one-day service (to all patients), however, this is a private, non-funded clinic and there’s a fee of $1100. Obviously this fee will be prohibitive to many but for those who can access the money the cost may be worth it in terms of being able to get life back to normal as soon as possible.

Author/Source: Katie May Rusco, Writer at Villainesse

Next up in Part Two: Getting prepared for Appointment Two, the actual procedure, and what happens afterwards.

#storiesweb #abortion #abortion new zealand #reproductive rights #feminism #feminist #lyndhurst clinic

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