#this account has the fewest proportion of people i know irl following me
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sorry that i only use this account for sadposting now anyway i think i really should have killed myself a few years ago lol
#this account has the fewest proportion of people i know irl following me#the only two people who follow this blog who have met me in person are someone i haven't seen in years#and someone i see like once a year when i go :(home:(#anyway i think i've figured out why my life is making me so fucking unhappy right now and unfortunately#i think it is because i jumped too fast into adulthood and leaving behind my school#which unfortunately. is what i have to do for the rest of my life#i really just think i'm not built for real independence i always need to have someone looking after me#no one looks after me anymore :( and i don't know how to do it#i should really have just not made myself throw up in 10th grade i should've just fucking died#or i shouldn't have let caitlin distract me last november and finished the fucking job lol#maybe i just need to be one of those stupid rich people who travels the world forever and never settle down#or maybe i just need to fucking kill myself because i don't know what will make me happy#and i've been trying to figure out how to be happy literally MY ENTIRE LIFE and i still haven't gotten it yet#and im fucking tired of it im fucking tired of just trying and trying and trying and ending up miserable again#and i just keep making everyone who loves me LEAVE and im so tired of it :(((
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