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spacecharr · 5 years

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Black Rose Sesh Report V

i think it’s number five at least.

Here we go again:

fuck having a bum shoulder. again. seriously, fuck it. right in the asshole.

the trip back wasn’t an odyssey so much as it was a revelation-filled romp.

also chillhop music makes me seriously so lyrical. it’s... it’s like I’m helpless, but I’m also scared that people might see me as a pretentious bitch or something, but I also recognize that maybe this is just my anxiety or some shit?

thought looops, like frooot loops

oh yeah!

revalations

one: holy fuck I am so fucking bi.

there was this couple heading back -- WAITTTTT

how could I almost forget Oliver?!

People I met on the romp back:

(wait tags)

(ok, back to here - but ow, fuck)

Eric, Lisa, and Oliver the Dog.

amazing neighbors who’ve lived in the area for a long ass time. also Oliver is cleverly named due to the location.

the black cat that I thought was a little girl twin of my handsome boy? nope! He’s an adorable little psychopath named Merlin! he loves people, is adorable, vocal, cuddly, his owners are this amazingly punk rock lady and this guy who could be like a secret badass punk nerd from accounting or something. And he’s a bit psycho ‘cause he does the whole “snuggle up to your leg to purr and cuddle you, ask for belly rubs, then will attack your hand”. My Zi doesn’t do that at all. He will give you maaaaaany warning bops with his back legs, no claws, before he begins to lazily warning bite you.

Alright, ok.

Revelations.

one: I am so fucking bi.

there was this couple heading home from a run. both of them were HELLA FINE. I mean, of the two I’d prefer the dude, but if I could have both of ‘em, then hell yes I would.

I have the preference namely because the lady was wearing matching pink shirt and scrunchie - and that get up on a wavy blonde made me think of that character from the Arnold the Armadillo show and I don’t like her as much.

they were wearing matching running tights, the girl was wearing pink and the guy was wearing orange (my favourite colour).

Both probably within my age range, maybe in their 30s.

The guy was super in shape, bony, broad, muscled shoulders and a runner’s taper.

Gal was thicc and had a face that looked like Denaerys Targarean (idk how the fuck to spell that name rn)

two: I’m living in my dream neighborhood, basically, and living my dream.

where I’m at, I just went out for a walk to a park - it felt like I was at a lake.

there’s dogs everywhere, and friendly people who own those dogs. people with stories to tell, who are happy to sit down and chat.

there’s beautiful people where I live. All sorts of beautiful people. (see revelation one: I am hella bi - and for any biphobes out there, remember that bi means i find more than one gender attractive. think about that for a sec, I’ll wait.)

there are couples in their 30s with no kids, so this place is fairly childfree.

there are people leading alternative lifestyles all around me, mixed in and living side by side harmoniously with neighbors who are more traditional. including couples even who are made up of a “normal” looking person and someone visibly living that alternative lifestyle.

today has been filled with so many LGBTQ encounters of other LGBTQ people living visibly out - whether they’re living out to prove a point, living out because it’s right for them, living out despite the fear, living out because it’s fun to, etc, etc. - that it makes me so happy to see.

there was a dude in this really fancy sports car - likewise somewhere in this 30s - which almost everyone at the intersection had to turn their heads to appreciate

there was this guy with a beard (beards are so attractive) balancing on this fancy looking road bike (god, I love bikes) - makin’ that choice for whatever his reason is, but it’s one I love because we need more bikes and less cars

on my way home, and this ties into the point below, I passed under a balcony where several ladies where having a girl’s night and discussing things.

and it turned into this awesome look on feminism in a way because they were talking about I think female genital mutilation (these are all ladies in their late 30s or older - lots of talk of husbands, etc) and how there’s so many women still having it done to them.

one of the ladies mentioned how some man in her life somewhere (she mentioned how she knew, but there was a dog I was distracted by when she explained, so I didn’t really catch it) was talking about how less girls get mutilated than boys or something. And she was like “well i don’t know the numbers for boys, but even if it is higher, that’s still six--(some ridiculously large number like 600 million or something, or 600 thousand...) and then that means there’s even more children being mutilated than that because the boys get mutilated more often.”

like, holy shit, a man engaging in “oppression olympics” when a woman was just trying to express her shock that any children are being mutilated - and that he was being excited for winning a gender competition for “whose gender is mutilated the most as young, helpless babies?!”!

anyways, that little aside aside

holy fuck my shoulder hurts

I was thinking I could do this part as part of the stream of conscience further down, but I don’t think I can hold out that long.

So ok, I separated the AC joint (or something like that) in my right shoulder from some bungled board breaking I did during a parade with my karate club. Boards got rained on and my student and I still broke them.

I bungled this break only in that the first two elbow attempts didn’t work - the board was way too wet and it bounced both the elbows back. So I resorted to hammer fist to break it and boooooo. I wanted to elbow it.

But yeah, turns out I’m hurting.

But I’m not sure if I am or not. Again, this is probably anxiety? or maybe another revelation.

But like, I’m confused. Would a separated shoulder take 48hrs to fully onset in terms of the pain and symptoms? Cause I felt like I was sore, but still able to do thinsg. Then when I went in yesterday to see my chiro for a scheduled appt from way before the parade, I mentioned my shoulder pain.

he ran two quick assessments on me and diagnosed me with a separated AC joint. it’s on the mild side, but it’s still a separated shoulder he said. and since them I’ve been way more conscious of it and I wonder - is it because he told me something’s wrong and I’m “pretending” because I’m hyper-aware of any sensation in the area? Or did it really just take until now for it to start being so bothersome?

--- another aside within aside within aside: I’m starting to feel suuuuper sleepy.

but then also, I’m high. I’m high on 50mg edible THC and 1/2 a 210mg joint. I should be pretty medicated by now, we can all agree. And I do feel a familiar stoner feel from the indica. Nice heavy body feel. But through it all, my neck, shoulder and lat are just screaming at me occasionally.

Especially my neck.

And my shoulder when I go to use my right arm - reaching, etc. OHHHHHH!!!! It hurts more today than yesterday because I did karate this morning!!!!! And I pushed (but didn’t hurt) myself a bit because I wanted to train with our guests.

ok.

I get it now.

I’m not crazy, it legit hurts. I’m not being a wuss, I’m being realistic. Okay.

SEE!?! WEED! REVELATIONS!

Dammit, guys, weed really is a therapist.

Have I even told you guys I’m a relatively new stoner? Like, just since it got legalized in Canada, and like, in November? So a lot of those like random “crazy-ass” stoner stereotypical phrases that I used to make fun of and think were like “oh, hurr durr, only stupid stoners who can’t think straight think like that” - they’re TRUE!!!! holy fuck, guys.

Hm, also, I think I am definitely going to be able to ride along and let the shrooms take me where they will next weekend. I’m ready for it. I’m excited for it. I feel like there will be so many more breakthroughs.

OH! yes, returning.

So, those ladies and talking about not even feminism, but just out in the open, within earshot of people on the street (fair, they’re just having an open air convo on their own personal balcony - everyone else is on the public sidewalk, the acoustics in this area are just very conducive), talking about statistics about women.

It’s so awesome that I live ina place where that can happen.

That I live in a place where a trans woman and her lesbian girlfriend can walk through the park. Where an openly lesbian couple, an openly gay couple, two best dude friends (and or maybe another gay couple, it’s not like they were dressed in rainbows or held hands or anything), a single dad with two kids, a single stoner, and all sorts of straight couples can just all exist alongside each other without anyone feeling pressured or attacked or anything.

It’s awesome.

Ok. My shoulder is really hurting. I know I’m not being a wuss with this now.

Though I have to say, as much as this fucking sucks, I still wouldn’t trade it for my experience as a martial artist. Now I know for next year, and I can protect my younger students now since I know that wet boards are so harsh on even my body - it’d tear out the shoulder of some of our younger kids. And I can experiment with drying the boards a bit more so they’re more brittle and won’t bounce back.

I think if I had been doing a single break in a controlled setting like a dojo instead of needing to set up in as few steps as possible and break and move on quick so you don’t hold up the route, I could have broken it. But as it was, it’s not possible for me to courteously summon up the concentration for a break like that on a parade route.

I’m gonna just relax for a while. Probably find some anime to watch. I wanted to draw, but I don’t think my shoulder’s up for it. I’ll have to try to remember the imagery.

It’s like, space-sci-fi dystopia future-wave sort of thing but with lower tech and more slum-like. cartoony. cel shaded. primariy colours: orange-brown, blue/purple like vaporwave, red, orange-orange, maybe some yellow/yellow-white.

guys, weed is magical. I love weed. I mean, I’m a highly functioning member of society. I live a frugal lifestyle, but I kill it at work, I’m becoming highly involved in my community, etc.

it’s crazy how there’s that stoner stereotype, but honestly I’d say that’s just the entertaining minority. the minority we all like to smoke along with. XD

ok, that’s a wrap on this part. maybe more, maybe not. dunno.

in anycase, fuck bum shoulders, stay chill, and see ya in space.

...srsly should I do audios?

#blackrosesesh #live sesh #weed #stoner #sesh report #stream of conscience #i think i used a different soc tag last time #fuck having a bum shoulder #fuck pain #fuck ow #weed is still better than tylenol

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