Imagine if the guy who designed totk Ganondorf got to also write his story. Sweet baby Ghirahim, that would have been one memorable story-quest.

The Ganondorf Designer has so much love for the guy in their heart, and I really wish them everything in the world and I would love for them to just.... express their entire vision one day.

Like the amount of subtext and detailing in his design that feels like it should mean something but doesn't is truly.... yeah, it kind of makes me sad! The careful historical and mythological references that don't really build up any parellel to anything deeper in the actual game, the one side covered/one side bared situation (with the one side bared being how we get to see gerudo tattoos and jewlery), the absolutely gorgeous, rich and ornate inner layering of his outfit VS the sober dark tone of the outside... The outfit tells such a complicated story! it's kind of a waste to have all that built-in subtext and barely using it at all. :(

Top 5 Video Game Foods

The recent Watcher Top 5 Beatdown had me racking my brain and googling lots of pixel food images, love the different aesthetic, experience, and curiosity factors that went in to their lists. Though I'd share my own & would love to hear yours!

5. Sweetroll (Skyrim)

4. Lantern Fruit (Subnautica)

3. Creamy Heart Soup (Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)

2. Peach Pie (Animal Crossing: New Horizons)

1. Brewster's Coffee (Animal Crossing: Wild World)

Reasoning & honorable mentions below ^.^

5. I got into Skyrim late to the game, but my first character started as a Jean Valjean-inspired petty thief in the pursuit bread and cheese. Nothing looked quite as appetizing as those little sweetrolls. One of the many delightful discoveries I came across going in blind to an iconic game.

4. Red, plump, slightly bioluminescent - super versatile as either a food source or bioreactor fuel, but most of all a gorgeous addition to any base. Returning to base and taking a bite of a fresh lantern fruit was more just for roleplay than anything lol, but man do I want to have a taste in real life.

3. Figuring out recipes was one of my favorite parts of the unlimited exploration in the open-world Breath of the Wild, and nothing seemed tastier than the Creamy Heart Soup. I can just imagine how revitalizing it would be to slurp it down mid-battle. Something about video games making imaginary fruits just looks so tantalizing, and I'm always a slut for a good soup.

2. The craftable food update in New Horizons is what kept me around for nearly a 1,000-hour island. Something about how they would steam after you cooked and placed them just looked so good. The cute aesthetics of the food items could warrant its own top-10 list for me, and the Peach Pie was as good as it got. I got the Switch game in 2022 well after the pandemic peak. Neither me nor my friends had peaches on their islands, and I was not about to pay to trade with someone - I never actually attained this beauty. My island had lined fields of crops and a farmers market with baked breads and jarred goods, she would have been my star centerpiece.

1. This is mainly an experience-based choice for me, but I imagine the taste would be phenomenal as well. 10-year-old me was unaware of changing DS settings to play different dates, so the once-per-day cup of coffee was a cherished moment. At the time I did not even know what coffee tasted like lol. The thought of drinking a scalding hot beverage scared me but I did not want to disappoint Brewster by letting it cool past its peak flavor. And Saturday nights when KK Slider was there?? Highlight of my week. Honestly that whole atmosphere of having a tasty little drink and watching a local live performance is exactly the vibe a look for as 28-year-old still. I wish I could go back and see how many hours I put into Wild World, I literally COMPLETED that game before I had access to the internet to look up how to find things - it was my cozy place.

I had too much fun putting this together lol honorable mentions has no cap idc, also no proofreading we die like men!

Honorable mentions: Yeto's Soup (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) - it took so long to make it must be the heartiest soup ever, Rare Candy (Pokemon) - if it can make my pokemon level up imagine ME, Lobster Thermador (Sims 2) - max level cooking meal I didn't think was real lol, Goopy Carbonara (Sims 3) - what's so goopy about it?, Crab and Egg Chinese Style (Cooking Mama) - a food I want to try and cook myself, Dubious Food (Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild) - what flavor is 'dubious' exactly?, Cheesy Meat Bowl (Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom) - food that could instantly cure a hangover, Golden Apple (Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild) - does it even taste different?, Perfect Cherry (Animal Crossing: New Horizons) - I am allergic to cherries but I would risk it, Pink Cake (Stardew Valley) - so cute I NEED a taste, Light Faerie Sundae (Neopets) - faerie food looked tasty af the light sundae looked the best, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans (HP & The Chamber of Secrets PS2) - Harry seemed so excited to find those beans I need to know why, 'Johnny Silverhand' Cocktail (Cyberpunk 2077) - beer + chili + tequila sounds awful I want a taste, Big Bang Burger (Persona 5 Royal) - I want to taste of Okumura's finest, NukaCola (Fallout) - if it doesn't taste like Diet Coke nuclear apocalypse isn't worth it, Klawf al Ajillo & Pickled Toedscool (Pokeomon Scarlet/Violet) - I want to taste the forbidden meat o.O