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hellishjoel · 5 months
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12 Days of Pedro | Masterlist
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Authors Note Hello and welcome to 12 Days of Pedro! I'm incredibly lucky to host a wonderful collection of works by such talented and sweet authors. We will be posting fics and moodboards, all linked on this masterlist! To the authors participating, thank you from the bottom of my heart, putting this together meant the world to me! Getting to hear all of your excitement and ideas really put me in the spirit! To the readers, these fics will be holiday/christmas/winter themed, all posted on the original authors account. Please show them support and love! Come back every day to open a new present (fic!)
Thank you to @undercoverpena for creating this wonderful masterlist image and thank you @saradika-graphics for the banner!
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Day 1 (December 11) - new year's day by @hellishjoel Day 2 (December 12) - decorating the tree with dieter by @wildemaven Day 3 (December 13) - white christmas by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin Day 4 (December 14) - when i’m feeling alone, you remind me of home by @joelsgreys Day 5 (December 15) - under the mistletoe by @beskarandblasters Day 6 (December 16) - baby, it's cold outside by @thetriumphantpanda Day 7 (December 17) - snowmen and sledding by @wildemaven Day 8 (December 18) - you're a mean one, mr. miller by @cupofjoel Day 9 (December 19) - make me like the holidays by @undercoverpena Day 10 (December 20) - let it snow by @kiwisbell Day 11 (December 21) - ásjá by @perotovar Day 12 (December 22) - naughty or spice by @morallyinept
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undercoverpena · 6 months
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@thetriumphantpanda called me a ho. and technically she isn’t wrong 😂
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eupheme · 17 days
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the checklist by @thetriumphantpanda
charlie your writing!! you are so talented my friend - I love the trust and exploration of the checklist, it is so fucking good and I hope this captured some of the sweet and steamy vibes. 💖 you are also so sweet and kind, sending love your way!
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pascalconfessions · 4 months
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sending love to @undercoverpena & @thetriumphantpanda you’re both such talented writers and soooo sweet and kind 🤍
❤️
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joelsgreys · 8 months
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN VEE 🧡 congratulations on another solar spin - hope you have the BEST DAY and sending you all the love and happiness for the next year!
PANDA MY LOVE 🤍 first off this is one of my favorite gifs of P so THANK YOU for dropping this into my inbox *licks screen*
thank you for the birthday wishes! I appreciate you, you kind, talented human being you!
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perotovar · 16 days
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dedicated to everyone, for the @swiftiscruff friendship exchange ♥
sappy message and tags under the cut:
this week snuck up on me and i didn't have any time to make the things i wanted to for specific individuals (and even got this out at the last possible second) so i'm sorry that never happened! hopefully this funny/cute moodboard will suffice <3
y'all, i don't even know where to begin. i love all of you so fucking much and feel so blessed and humbled to consider so many of you my friends.
when i joined this fandom (end of january 2023) i told myself i was just going to make my gifs and stay in my lane. i didn't want to make any friends because i'd been there, done that.
i'm so fucking glad that never came to pass because even if this fandom can be full of drama and toxicity, it's also one of most lovely and supportive groups of people i've ever been a part of.
i can't tell you all how much i love you and thank you for your love and support on my gifs, my fics, god, i never expected that. tbh i thought people were just being nice and humoring me when i started writing but i'm slowly but surely realizing you're all just giant sweeties. seriously, thank you so much.
i tried to find as many people as possible that i consider friends and/or admire a great deal for their creativity/presence in this fandom because you all make my time here beyond worth it <3 if i left anyone out i promise it wasn't on purpose!
i'm so grateful that this silly, talented man brought you guys to me!
-
in no particular order: (sorry it's broken up weird, tumblr sucks lol)
@scenaaario @sp00kymulderr @qveerthe0ry @undercoverpena @kedsandtubesocks
@hellishjoel @chronically-ghosted @gasolinerainbowpuddles @5oh5 @theredviper
@swiftispunk @joelscruff @jksprincess10 @for-a-longlongtime @bonezone44
@mrsmando @freelancearsonist @ozarkthedog @ghotifishreads @futuraa-free
@pedrorascal @userparamore @guiltypleasure-art @psychedelic-ink @pedgito
@survivingandenduring @yourcoolauntie @beelzebeth87 @immarocketman @goodwithcheese
@rhoorl @sin-djarin @ezrasbirdie @haylzcyon @reedrchards
@sweetenerobert @ghostofaboy @toointojoelmiller @theywhowriteandknowthings @covetyou
@nerdieforpedro @agentmarcuspike @missredherring @boliv-jenta @beefrobeefcal
@toxicanonymity @marisferasiop @morallyinept @atticrissfinch @trulybetty
@max--phillips @iamskyereads @grogusmum @tieronecrush @nicolethered
@thetriumphantpanda @radiowallet @wannab-urs @oonajaeadira @fuckyeahdindjarin
@beardedjoel @secretelephanttattoo @schnarfer @joelsgreenflannel @janaispunk
@tomshiddles @djo @trashcora @miguelo-hara
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thetriumphantpanda · 2 months
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new perspective | joel miller
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Summary | the summed wedged between finishing your undergraduate degree and starting on your graduate programme just got a lot better when Joel Miller turns out to feel exactly the same about you as you do to him.
Pairing | dbf!Joel Miller x F!Reader
Word Count | 3.7k
Warnings | Explicit Smut. dbf!Joel makes his return on my blog, mentions of food and alcohol, Joel being competent and fixing stuff, the classic dbf trop of a cookout, sex while your parents are around, oral sex (f), masturbation (m), unprotected PiV, talk of contraception, dirty talk, praise kink, THE RETURN OF MIRROR SEX BY THETRIUMPHANTPANDA, no outbreak au, no use of Y/N.
Authors Note | I missed dad's best friend Joel so I wrote him :) I hope you like him. This is a standalone but I won't rule out adding more in this universe if y'all like it. I have to shoutout @hellishjoel for talking me through how to make a moodboard so beautifully, thank you honey! If you like this, consider reblogging/commenting/leaving asks for me - it really helps!
Please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs for my writing updates. 
Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi
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The incessant dripping of the kitchen tap is driving you insane. You’d come back to Texas for the summer to relax. Hoping to leave behind shoddy workmanship that your landlord refused to fix because he would do it when you moved out, ready for the next lot of college kids to come in. If your dad had mentioned the dripping kitchen tap, the creaky floorboards on the stairs and the issue with water pressure that meant showering took longer than necessary, maybe you’d have stayed where you were.
“Someone’s comin’ to take a look at that later,” He’d said on his way out to work that morning, head tilting towards the kitchen, “Should be here after lunch.”
You’d waved him off, barely looking up from the book you were reading, legs outstretched on the couch with your notepad and pen resting on the arm. Wasn’t much of a summer when you were going straight from your undergraduate degree into a graduate programme.
As the day moved on, the heat got worse. Glasses of ice water turning lukewarm before you had a chance to cool down. The patio door open, hoping for a breeze every now and then, but finding no reprieve. The ice pop doesn’t even help that much, melting too quickly before you had a chance to enjoy it.
It’s pushing 2pm when there’s a knock at the door. Reading material and notepad pushed onto the floor, trash TV on in the background as you try not to sweat to death. It takes you a minute to register the noise, so long that whoever it is here to look at the tap knocks again.
You pull open the door, wincing when the heat of the sun being let in sinks across your skin. The change in light means it’s a few seconds before your eyes adjust to who it is standing in front of you. Joel Miller.
It’s been a while since you’ve seen him. He’s been busy, according to your dad, building his business with Tommy. Lots of out of town trips now Sarah is grown and away to college for her first year - schedules not quite lining up for you to see him when you come home, but God are you glad you have the chance now. He’s older now, obviously, greying a little. His hair has grown too, curls flopping onto his forehead and around his ears. He looks broader now than he did - the physical labour obviously working in his favour - you can see the arms of his t-shirt straining around the muscles there, but as you let your eyes trail down a little, you’re pleased to see that he clearly still enjoys his barbecue and beer.
“Y’gonna let me in, sweetheart?” He asks and that Southern drawl hasn’t changed either, low and slow, tickling just the right parts of your brain as they always had.
You’d thought whatever it was that you felt for him was just some silly schoolgirl crush, but the longer he hung around, the older he got, the more you realised he wasn’t something you’d grow out of liking. Not even the fair amount of fooling around at college had helped - boys that had no idea what they were doing, who couldn’t take instruction to save their lives. Whenever they’d leave, you’d lie there, sheets pulled up under you chin, and think, Joel Miller would never leave me like that - wet, wanting and unsatisfied.
“Sorry,” You mumble, taking a side step to let him in, “Here to fix the tap, right?”
“That’s right,” He replies, walking in and straight to the kitchen - he spends more of his time here than you do now, “Nice t’see you back for a while.”
You close the door, stopping off to lean over the couch and grab your half-empty water glass before following behind him to the kitchen.
“Weird to be back, honestly,” You muse, pulling a fresh glass out of the cupboard, “Didn’t think this place would ever change much, but it feels different.”
“Probably you that’s changed,” He talks as he opens the toolbox he’s bought with him, “Got a different perspective on things now you live in the big city.”
“You’re probably right,” You agree, filling the glasses with ice and water, sipping from one and putting the other near to where Joel is working, “And the fact no-one else left I suppose - did you know Becca from my year at school has had two kids since I’ve been away?”
Joel let’s out a low whistle as he uses some tool to tighten something on the tap, sighing when it doesn’t stop the leaking, “Two kids at your age?” He asks, “I could barely deal with Sarah, I don’t know how folks do it.”
“Yeah, me neither,” You shrug, leaning against the kitchen counter, “I can barely keep myself alive.”
He turns his head, his brown eyes roving you up and down, is he…? Is he checking you out? He lets out a little cough and reaches for his water, taking two deep drinks of it before he turns back to the job at hand, sinking to his knees on the floor to open the cupboard under the sink. He’s got his head inside it when he speaks again.
“I don’t know,” He muses, “You look pretty alive to me.”
“Thanks,” you chuckle, “Best compliment I’ve ever received.”
You can hear him laugh a little from under the sink, the noise punctuated with the sounds of him gently hammering at something.
“Can you pass me the screwdriver down?” He asks, an arm extending out towards you as you rifle through his toolbox, setting the tool in his hand when you find it.
It doesn’t take him much longer to fix whatever was wrong, the dripping from the faucet stopping, giving you the sweet relief of silence, save for him groaning as he stands from his knees.
“Maybe time to retire, old man?” You offer with a smirk as he shoves the tools back into the box.
“Careful,” He warns, but his voice is light and you know he’s teasing, “I’m in the prime of my life.”
“Whatever you say.”
“I’m all done,” He says a few moments later once he’s cleaned up, “Tell your dad I’ll be back sometime in the week to look at the shower.”
You follow him back to the door, like a lost puppy on his heel, wanting to spend as much time as possible in his company before he leaves.
“Thanks for coming,” You say when he opens the door, “The dripping was driving me wild.”
“No problem sweetheart, my pleasure,” He smiles, “Anythin’ else you let your dad know he can call me, okay?” You nod in response, about to close the door, “It’s real good to see you again.”
“You too, Joel.”
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It’s been just over a week since Joel had fixed the tap. He’d been back and forth to tinker with the other issues throughout the house, talking to you here and there, but tonight is the first time he’ll be here without the pretence of needing to fix something. It’s always the same in Southern households in the summer - each household in a group of friends taking turns to host some form of dinner for everyone else, eating together in the name of community.
There’s a table full of food - your mother had made enough side dishes to feed the five thousand, potato salad, fresh bread and enough green salad that you’d all be eating it for days afterwards. The fridge stocked full of beer and wine and the crowning glory of a cheesecake you’d slaved over for hours yesterday.
Joel is here, along with Tommy, and your neighbours on both sides too. Your mom and dad had invited friends from work, but just like you’d expected, none of your friends from before you left were able to make it - prior commitments of children, husbands and work.
It’s a low-key affair, a table full of grilled meat and sides and plenty of alcohol, but it’s the alcohol that’s made this difficult for you. With Joel sitting right next you, smelling of cologne and entirely unaware that you’re creaming in your panties about wanting him to fuck you.
You’d not been subtle today either - picking the shortest dress you own, bending over to pick something up in front of him, laughing at his jokes and pressing against him at the table whenever he says something interesting or funny - you want him to know that you want him, you want him to know that he’s all you’ve been able to think about since he showed up on the porch last week.
And you think he does. When you rest a hand on his knee under the table after a particularly funny story about his apprentice and a drill on the worksite, he gives you a pointed look, but doesn’t brush your hand away, and when you announce to the table that you need to use the bathroom and cool down a little, you’re halfway up the stairs when you hear his footsteps following you - almost hunting you into the bathroom and closing the door.
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doin’, sugar.”
Got him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Joel.” You smirk, turning around to lean against the sink as the bathroom door closes with a snick.
“Though you were a smart city girl now,” He muses, leaning his back against the door - you don’t miss his hand turning the lock, “You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about.”
“Maybe you should explain it to me,” You say, looking up at him through your lashes, “I’d hate for us to have crossed wires.”
He shakes his head, but you can see the twitch of his mouth upwards, “Firstly, this little number,” His hand waves at your dress, barely short enough to cover your ass, “And the way you’ve been bendin’ over all night right when I happen to be lookin’, sittin’ right next to me, the way you’re puttin’ your hands on my leg whenever you laugh?” You shrug in response, “Definitely not the sweet girl I remember before you left.”
“Things change,” You offer, “New perspectives and all that.”
“And those new perspectives make you wanna fuck this old man?” He asks, eyebrow raised.
“Is that such a crime?”
“College boys ain’t doin’ it for you?”
“No.” You reply simply, trying to keep your grin from blooming as he starts stepping towards you until you can feel the heat from his body.
He’s looming over you, hands on either side of your body, caging you between his body and the sink. You look up, find his face close to yours and waste no time in pressing up onto your tiptoes to kiss him.
It’s soft. Softer than you’d imagined from him - his mouth moving slowly against your lips as he presses his body flush to yours. You open your mouth against his a little, let your tongue trail over his bottom lip, hands reaching up to grip onto his t-shirt as his tongue meets yours.
You think you could stay like that forever, tasting him, but he pulls away, hands gripping your hips through the material of your dress to turn you around. There’s a brief moment where he presses himself against you, letting you feel the hardening of his cock against your ass, but then he’s gone, dropped to his knees behind you, tearing your panties down your legs to pool at your ankles.
Joel brings his palms to the naked skin of your ass, squeezing before he pulls gently, spreading you open with a low whistle from his mouth.
“Don’t tell me you’re this wet from teasing me, sugar.” He says, leaning forward to press his mouth to the top of your spine.
You’re about to respond when you feel one of his hands drop and then brush against the slick folds of your cunt, all you can do is watch yourself in the mirror as you tip your head forward and wait for what’s coming.
You feel him run his fingers back down before one of them dips lower, dangerously close to your fluttering hole that’s begging to be filled - and he knows it.
“She’s desperate, huh?” He coos behind you, “Practically beggin’ for someone to fill her up, ain’t she?”
“Please, Joel?” You breathe out, looking at yourself in the mirror, “I need it.”
“What do you need?” He asks with a tender squeeze of his other palm to your ass, “Huh? You tell me sugar and I’ll give it to you.”
“Your m-mouth,” You stutter out, “Or your f-fingers, anything Joel, please.”
“Like this?” He asks, and you’re about to ask what he means when you feel the warmth of his tongue lapping at you.
He’s tasting you, lapping at your core where you’re seeping slick just for him, his fingers trailing up, finding that bud of nerves, gently circling as he drinks from you.
“Ohhhhhh,” You sigh out in relief, taking yourself in when you look at your reflection, hair a little mused, skin slick with sweat already, “Just like that.”
You can feel his tongue pressing inside a little as his finger finds a rhythm of short gentle swipes across your clit - he’s got your knees wobbling already, making you flatten your palms on the marble sink to keep yourself upright.
“You gotta be quiet, okay?” He says, pulling his mouth off you to speak, dragging his fingers from your clit, “You make too much noise, I’ll have to stop.”
You hum in agreement, waiting to see what his next move is, which is to sink of of his thick fingers right inside your cunt and to lean forward underneath you enough so his tongue is moving against your clit. You have to bite down on your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying out - if there’s one thing college boys don’t do, it’s this.
You’re not sure how long he stays down there, lapping at your clit and slowly moving that finger inside you, but you know you’d have stayed there all night if you could, teetering just on the edge until he felt like finishing you off.
There’s a whine that leaves your mouth when his lips leave you - the finger that was inside you also gone, but he swaps them again - soaked fingers rubbing at your clit whilst he literally sucks the wet from your cunt, like a man who has gone without water for months. The hand that he’s hand pressed to your ass cheek is gone too - you can hear him fumbling with his belt and the movement of material somewhere along the line too, then, he’s groaning into your cunt.
You turn your head a little, but you can’t see him well enough to confirm what you think he’s doing - lapping at your cunt and circling your clit whilst he’s fisting his own cock.
“Are y-you-” You choke out, trying to keep your moans quiet as you feel the coil tightening in your tummy, “Are you touching yourself?”
Joel’s fingers continues its movement across your clit but his mouth leaves you, “Course I am,” He confesses, “Couldn’t help myself, sugar.”
“Just-” You trail off, a small, quiet moan slipping through the cracks of your resolve, “Put it inside me Joel.”
“Not yet,” He says, “Gotta make you cum first.”
“M’close,” You breathe out, pushing your hips back a little to get him to go back to what he was doing before, “Please Joel, I wanna cum.”
“Go on then, baby,” He coos, tongue back to licking at your wet hole, “You can let go.”
You feel your cunt pull tight and your knees buckle and your teeth bite down onto your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as his fingers expertly push you over the edge. You can feel your walls clenching around nothing, begging for him to slip himself inside you so you have something to clench around as the hot furl of pleasure drifts like electric across your skin.
“Good girl,” You can hear him murmuring behind you, “So good bein’ so quiet like that.”
You’ve barely got time to recover before he’s standing up and pressing into you from behind, his lips wet and hot across the skin of your shoulder, a trail of wet being left from the drag of his beard where your slick has gathered.
“I don’t have anything on me,” He breathes into your ear, teeth nipping at your earlobe, “You got anything?”
You shake your head, “I’m clean though, I promise,” You speak softly, feeling him press his cock through your folds, “And I’m on the pill.”
He’s dragging his cock back through your folds, letting the head of it nudge slightly at your entrance, “You let anyone else fuck you bare before?” His hot breath asks into your ear.
“N-no,” You confess, “Only you.”
You can feel him press himself forward a little bit, feeding the tip of his cock into your cunt. There’s no doubt he’s big, bigger than you’re used to, but there’s no ache, not even when he pressed his hips further forward until you can feel his skin against yours and he’s buried fully inside you.
“Jesus,” He chokes out, “Fuckin’ Christ you feel good.”
Joel brings a hand up to rest against your throat, but it’s only to guide your eyeline to the mirror in front of you. He’s crowding behind you, hot and heavy against your back as he slowly starts to move, dragging his cock from your cunt and back in, chuckling against the skin of your cheek when you smile and giggle as the tip of him nudges at the very depths of you.
“You look good like this.” He whispers.
“We look good like this.” You counter, struggling to breathe a little as he picks the pace up, hips hitting into the meat of your ass on every thrust.
“We do,” He smiles, dragging himself off you a little to rest his hand on the back of your neck instead, “You like watching yourself get fucked, baby?”
You can’t speak anymore, the angle of his cock brushing against something inside of you which has you struggling to keep yourself quiet, so you just nod your head and let him press you further down into the counter, holding you still with his firm hand on your neck as he really starts to fuck you now.
You’re glad you can hear the music from the garden from here - means your dad has it turned up loud enough that no-one would be able to hear the squelch of your pussy on every thrust or the sound of your skin slapping together as Joel speeds up. It feels too good, you feel too full and you can feel that tightening coil again, feel the clenching of your cunt around his cock.
Looking into the mirror, you can see he’s in a similar state to you, his eyes angled down to watch his cock disappear into the heat of your cunt each time, sweat gathering along his brow. He sounds good too - small grunts on every thrust and a suck of breath whenever you constrict around him.
“One more, baby,” He urges, “Want to feel you cum on my cock, okay?”
He shifts his position a little so he’s fucking up into you - head of his cock pounding against that spot inside you that only you’d been able to find until now. It makes your legs shake and you have to bite down on your fist when he makes you cum again to stop yourself from crying out - tears springing at the corner of your eyes, threatening to spill as he talks you through it, tells you how pretty you look and how good you’re being for him.
“M’gonna cum baby,” He warns from behind you, “Where d’ya want it?”
You have no sense in your head anymore, he’s fucked it from you thoroughly, so you say the first thing that comes to mind - beg him to cum inside you, to fill you up. It’s safe, of course it would be, but you’re glad that somewhere in the haze of it all, he’s got more sense than you, pulling himself out of your cunt at just the last second, resting it against your ass as he spills across the skin of your lower back with a growl of your name on his mouth.
There’s silence as the two of you suck in breath to your lungs, letting your senses come back to you. Joel is quiet as he steps back and pulls his jeans back up to dress himself. He uses some tissue to clean you up, inspecting the hem of your dress for any stains he might have left before he’s dragging your panties back up your legs.
You have a try and fixing your hair, wetting your fingers from the sink to try and tame the flyaways, wondering if he’s going to walk away and leave you, but he doesn’t, he just stands behind you and waits for you to finish.
“I hope that was okay?” He offers sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck when you’re done.
“I asked for it,” You smile at him, “It was fine Joel.”
“Only fine?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.
You chuckle and slap him playfully on his arm, “Best I've ever had,” You offer, “Happy now?”
“Ecstatic,” He chuckles, moving to unlock the bathroom door before he turns back to you, “We don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”
You make a sign of a cross above your heart, “Not a soul.”
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trashcora · 4 months
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space sisters secret santa 🎁 for @thetriumphantpanda
So, time heals all wounds, I guess? It wasn't time that did it.
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hellishjoel · 3 months
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Hi honey 🧡 firstly, congrats on such an incredible milestone!! What an amazing achievement! You deserve this and so much more!!
I’m not much of a gambler but I wanna kicked things off with a 💰 pls and thank you 😘
Hello my love!! Thank you so much for sending in an ask, but also for being such a lovely human! I'm so lucky to have you!!
💰 - mutuals & movies
Charlie, you are such a smartie, you know how wrinkled your brain is, and I know you have an interesting kick for history and archaeology - I could see you as a detective but maybe in something with a hint of theatrics?
I was thinking Night at the Museum or maybe National Treasure.. but those all didn't feel right. Then I landed on...
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KNIVES OUT! I imagine you as a spunky detective in this universe, down to find out the crime and stopping at nothing to find out the truth!
Thank you for sending in an ask!
Join my Casino Night!
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undercoverpena · 4 months
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My cheese and crackers. I humbly beseech you on my knees 🧎🏻‍♀️🤲🏻 for a 🗒️ for the day you call in sick. I beg of you.
<offers hand out> girrrrl get up off your knees and hug me hahahaha. but, like seriously, hold me (hahahahah).
pls.
and as your reward, here is your snippet for the day you call in sick - frankie morales x f!reader:
“I should be back tomorrow, just—”
His lips nip at your neck, hand spanning lower down your stomach.
An almost whine escaping, one you disguise quickly with a cough before continuing, “Yeah, course. I'll see how I feel—yeah, will do, thanks.”
Finger finding the end call button before you turn, facing him, lips crashing to his, grinning into his mouth as you lick into his mouth.
“You’re a bad influence on me, Morales."
His mouth pulling back from yours, sliding down your cheek, jaw, finding that spot on your neck as your nails crawl into his hair.
"Never called in sick—even when I actually am.”
Spanning his fingers out over your waist, thumb brushing on the underside of your breast, you feel him laugh against your neck. “Sounds like you’re due it then, baby. Now, gimme fifteen minutes, and I’ll show you why it’s a good idea that you’ve taken the day off.”
send a wip ask
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Good Saturday, y’all.
Topic of today’s rant: PEOPLE PRINTING AND SELLING FANFIC & GENERAL FANDOM ETIQUETTE
Profiting from fanfic will ruin it for everyone.
I want all of you who gift us your stories to be safe from lawsuits and beware that your content might be stolen.
Not to be on a soapbox and preaching to the choir but here are.
There are many authors pulling their work off AO3 because people acting on bad faith are printing and binding fics to sell on etsy thus infringing copyright laws. Fanfic has always been a grey area and we are allowed to exist in this grey area because we are not profiting from it. The minute money is exchanged, every party involved is breaking the law.
Why am I complaining about this yet again? Because we might be deprived from enjoying fanfic with the freedom we currently have because the fanfic authors will fear getting sued. If third parties are stealing our work and selling it, publishers and studios won’t care to know who sold it. It is your handle (thus IP address) on the sold fanfic. Because, get this, they are doing downloads straight from ao3 with your usernames.
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Manacled is being pulled from ao3 because the author will publish it as a book. People are putting the book at risk by selling printed versions of it on Etsy.
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I believe many of us who fall on the 20 years of reading fanfic side rather than on the 20 year olds reading fanfic will remember the Anne Rice days. These are not fully over because her son is carrying on the legacy of suing everyone who writes fanfic of her work. And if I may say, she didn’t invent vampires and should’ve taken many seats. I digress.
I am not sure of the levels of awareness within this community and to what extent it can affect all of us. TikTok is a massive contributor to this problem (as it is to many other problems. Again, I digress) since booktok and the binding folks discovered ao3.
You might think, I only post on tumblr so my content is safe. Well, they are finding their way here too. They cringe because tumblr is for old people but they still make their way here with their bad manners and pillaging behaviour.
I want all of you who gift your stories to be safe, lawsuit free, not lose your content and not be afraid of sharing.
I wish I had a definitive solution to this problem but I can only think of small actions:
report the etsy accounts selling fanfic/fanfic commissions,
report the TikTok accounts selling binding for fanfic work,
go back to the days of putting disclaimers on your notes that you don’t own the characters and you are not profiting from the story.
Tagging some authors* here for visibility so you can cascade to more people. Absolutely no pressure tag.
@theywhowriteandknowthings @tightjeansjavi @diversemediums @goodwithcheese @nerdieforpedro @fhatbhabie @undercoverpena @thelightsandtheroses @ezrasbirdie @notjustjavierpena @javierpena-inatacvest @freshlyrage @5oh5 @wardenparker @endlessthxxghts @creedslove @sp00kymulderr @secretelephanttattoo @gnpwdrnwhiskey @whatsnewalycat @pedrostylez @thetriumphantpanda @toointojoelmiller @dancingtotuyo @agentjackdaniels @ladamedusoif @lotrefcp @wildemaven @musings-of-a-rose @justagalwhowrites @morallyinept @pedropascalsx @criticallyacclaimedstranger @pennyserenade @kteague @astoryisaloveaffair @moralesispunk @linzels-blog @metalnecklace
*I can remove the tag if you are not comfortable with being associated with this post.
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pascalconfessions · 4 months
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@thetriumphantpanda is one of my favorite authors! She’s so talented!
❤️
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joelsgreys · 9 months
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Hello darling Vee, sending you all my love this Friday! 🧡
Cotton Candy & Sky Blue for the ask game!
My lovely Charlie hi hellooo, sending you lots of love and then some right back 🤍
Cotton Candy: What is your favorite dessert?
Oh this is a tough one because I have a massive sweet tooth. I love tres leches cake! It is my all time favorite dessert 🧁 (that's a cupcake but close enough)
Sky Blue: Where do you feel the most at home?
Where I grew up. I haven't been able to visit since Covid, I might be spending the holidays on the islands if not this year then definitely next year, but that is definitely where I feel most at home!
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mountainsandmayhem · 4 months
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You’re Mine, Little Dove
(Joel Miller x Female!Reader) 18+
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Summary: You’ve always loved walking at night, but an unexpected visitor goes from the most terrifying to most erotic night of your life.
TW: predator/prey dynamics, ropes, blindfolding, gagging, non consent, consensual non consent, oral, fingering, unprotected P in V, dirty talk, pet names (little dove, baby girl etc.)
A/N: I can’t say much without giving anything away, but this scene has been so fun for me to write. I’m tagging @untamedheart81 @beboldbebravethings @rav3n-pascal22 and @spookyxsam since you 4 wonderful people had such amazing support for my last story. And because delulu is the solulu, I’m also tagging @swiftispunk and @thetriumphantpanda because they’re both incredible creators and I truly admire their work.
🤍🕊️🤍 •• 🤍🕊️🤍 •• 🤍🕊️🤍 •• 🤍🕊️🤍
You’ve always loved the night, and since getting promoted at work walking in the dark has become your way of winding down. Your friends think you’re crazy, blabbing on about how it’s dangerous and you shouldn’t be out there alone. One even suggested buying really dark sunglasses and walking during the day. You all laughed at that as you sipped rosé, but it’s not the same. For one, the summer sun in Texas is way too hot most days, but it’s also too “peopley” during the day. You want the solitude and quiet that comes with the dark.
All day you’re interrupted and expected to do things outside of your lane. Take work for example, today you were asked to take meeting minutes for a meeting that the team you lead isn’t even a part of. You lead a team, and have an assistant of your own who takes meeting notes, doesn’t that team lead have an assistant who can do that?
Probably not. He’s an arrogant prick, you think to yourself. But he’s the boss's son so he gets away with it. And because of that, you agree. You always fucking agree. Always happy to help, never saying no.
Here in the night though, it’s just you. The night doesn’t ask you to do anything but sleep, which you will do after enjoying the cooler summer air on your skin as you wander through the park behind your house.
There’s also a slight edge of danger to it that entices you. The park is well-lit, but who knows what could happen in the darkness between the casts of yellow light from lamppost to lamppost. Those darker spots might be your favourite, just a few steps away from the safety of the light.
You stop in one of those dark spots, closing your eyes and tilting your head up to the sky, taking a big cleansing breath in.
Silence. Calm. Peace.
You hold your breath for a few seconds, silence ringing in your ears before you slowly exhale. Just before you open your eyes, two strong arms wrap around you. A hand clamps over your mouth, the other arm other snakes tightly around your waist, pinning your arms down with it.
Silence, calm, and peace, were quickly replaced with fear, terror, and panic.
A solid wall of a person leads you to the grassy, non-lit areas of the park and you realize you have never known fear before. The fun fear of a roller coaster or haunted house, yes; but never true heart-stopping fear. Your stomach drops and everything inside you is yelling to fight.
“Don’t scream, little dove.” A deep voice rumbles through you. If it wasn’t for his massive form holding you up, you’re sure you’d fall over.
This doesn’t happen here. This is a safe neighbourhood where you know all your neighbours. For a second you think it’s a joke, someone sneaking up on you that you know, but it’s almost midnight on a Wednesday. Who would be up at this point?
As he pulls you along your fear evolves into terror. You’re frantically trying to catch your breath through your nose as every happy memory floods through you. The sparkly pink bike you got when you were six. The first time you saw white sand and crystal clear blue waters. Watching your best friend get engaged. How proud your parents looked when you got promoted last year. What was the last thing you even said to your parents?
His strong frame forces you to the grass. He places a knee on your back, holding you down as he ties your hands with a scratchy rope. Your mouth is free as your forehead rests on the grass.
Scream. Now.
You open your mouth but nothing comes out. Why can’t you scream or at least look back at him to see who he is so you can describe him to the police?
Oh god, what if he doesn’t let you go?
Just as you open your mouth to try to scream again he gags you and then blindfolds you. You’re pretty sure it’s done with silk ties, but you really can’t be sure.
“Good job, little dove.” He coos in your ear as he helps you up. “You’ll be rewarded for keeping quiet.”
He leads you through more of the grassy fields. You try to map out which house you’re headed toward in your mind’s eye until you’re interrupted by the sound of crunching gravel under your shoes. You assume you’re in an alley or street as you hear the clicking of a car door.
Your overly conservative father's voice comes into your head. “You can’t go out dressed like that. Boys will get the wrong idea. You’re inviting them to take advantage of you.”
That was years ago. You’re an adult woman now, with a degree and a mortgage. You know your clothing isn’t an excuse for this man’s abhorrent behaviour, but maybe you should have changed from your denim skirt and tight black top.
As you hear the vehicle door open the panic begins. Your breath comes in shorter and shallower, and it feels like your heart is thumping in your throat. You’re sure your captor can hear it, or at least feel it through the skin of your bicep that he’s gripping so tightly. A whimper escapes you as he hoists you into a back seat and slams the door.
“Don’t cry, little dove.” He says from the front as he starts the engine. “It’ll only entice me.”
Fuck. Fuck. You’re dead. Or trafficked. How could you not have screamed?! You let him take you, but did you stand a chance either way? You could feel his chest on the back of your head when he grabbed you, he was probably a foot taller than you. His strong hand was large enough to practically cover your whole face. He was the predator…you were the prey.
You calm your breathing and focus on the turns the vehicle takes as it pulls out of your neighbourhood, not letting the tears fall, you refuse to give him that sort of satisfaction.
It feels like you’ve been driving for hours before you finally come to a stop. He hasn’t said anything from the front seat. No music played. As he turns off the car you can hear the sound of a garage door closing. You’re royally fucked.
The door near your feet opens and you scramble to the other side of the vehicle as your instincts to fight ignite. A strong hand grabs your ankle and pulls you forward. You kick blindly with your other leg, screaming through the silk that’s wedged between your teeth. He catches your other ankle, squeezing them both together with one hand and binds them together.
He hoists you over his shoulder and lays a hard spank across your ass, eliciting a squeal as the walls of your pussy clench a little. “Behave, little dove,” he says cockily. You can’t see him, but you know he’s smirking over how easily he overpowered you.
You try to say ‘fuck you’ through your gag.
“Oh, I intend to.” He says as he takes you inside and up the stairs.
He drops you down on a bed and undoes the gag. “Tell me your name.”
“Touch me again and I’ll rip your dick off.” You spit.
He chuckles a little while straddling you and lifting the hem of your shift, exposing the soft skin of your stomach. “I love it when my little doves talk dirty to me.”
He places light kisses along your skin and you squirm to try to get free, but his large frame has you trapped and your arms and legs are useless if they’re bound. A deep moan from his chest shoots straight to your core, sending a new wave of arousal as your body starts to betray you.
“You’re a fucking coward,” you say with as much hate as you can muster, trying to ignore the want that’s spreading through your traitorous body.
He lifts your shirt higher, exposing all the skin between your bra and denim skirt, continuing to place soft kisses and light nibbles along your skin.
“I only want to make you feel good, little dove.” He says in a husky whisper, “How does that make me a coward?”
God dammit he feels so warm against you. You push his soft lips and deep soothing voice out of your mind and focus back on the fear, terror and panic you felt earlier.
“Capturing someone in the night. Binding them. Real men aren’t afraid of the fight.” Taunting him is incredibly risky, but if you entice him enough he might untie you and you can fight like hell to get free. He couldn’t have taken you far.
His kisses cease. You almost let out a whimper of protest at him stopping. Are you this desperate for touch? You have a boyfriend.
“Is that what you think, little dove?” He shifts to be straddling your hips, leaning forward with both forearms on either side of your face. He brushes away some hair that has stuck to your lips. “That I’m not a real man?”
You can feel the bulge in his pants pressing against your stomach as you try to squirm free. “Yes, you’re fucking pathetic.”
His lips move to your neck. Wet kisses moving from your ear to your collarbone. You’ve always been a sucker for neck kisses and with sight being taken away, your sense of touch seems heightened. Shit, his lips feel good and at this proximity, you catch a faint smell of leather and cedar. He trails his tongue back up before gently biting your earlobe.
Fuck, a small shiver runs down your back and your breath hitches as you squeeze your thighs together.
“I’ll make you a deal, little dove,” he whispers, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “If you can keep your breathing steady for the next 5 minutes, I’ll untie you and remove the blindfold.”
You feel dizzy by the closeness and gentleness of him. “And if I can’t?” You breathe.
“If you can’t…I’ll untie your ankles and remove the blindfold. I have a feeling you have beautiful eyes.”
You swallow hard, contemplating your options. He kidnapped you. He doesn’t have your consent to any of this, but based on the wetness that is now coating your thighs, your body doesn’t seem to get the same message.
You take a deep breath before saying, “Deal.”
Before the word has fully left your lips, he’s ripped your tank top completely open. His fingers work the front clasp on your bra as he whispers that he’s sorry about your shirt and starts placing hungry kisses down your neck. Your breasts are completely exposed to him, the cool air turning your nipples into stiff peaks.
“You’re fucking gorgeous.” He says as he cups both your breasts. His tongue swipes along the left nipple as his thumb caresses the smooth skin underside of the right one.
You remind yourself that he kidnapped you and try not to let your body and breathing betray you, but your thighs squeeze tighter for relief and your mind is swimming.
His tongue swipes harder before he moves over to the right one, sucking it into his mouth and rolling the other between his fingers.
He’s playing you like a fiddle. How does he seem to know exactly what you like?
He releases your nipple with a pop before gently blowing cool air on it. He latches back onto the left one, swirling with his tongue and your hips involuntarily buck forward as your breath stutters.
“Good girl, little dove.” He says with a low growl, coming back up to be face to face. “Looks like I win. Your hands stay tied, but I’ll free your ankles and take off the blindfold.”
His minty breath hits your nostrils. Fuck, my hands!! How could you have forgotten about your hands? Shit. You can’t believe you let this monster make you feel good.
He slips the blindfold off and you blink a few times, adjusting to the dimly lit room and taking in the man on top of you. Fuck, monster he is not. His curly dark hair is pushed back and you can see some salt and pepper around the temples. He has patchy facial that you couldn’t even feel when he was kissing you, he was being much more gentle than you thought. He’s handsome and rugged…if anything, this man is your type.
“I was right,” he says, his deep brown eyes staring right into you. “You do have beautiful eyes.”
Now that he sees you as a person, you might be able to elicit some sympathy.
“P-please let me go.” You say, holding in tears.
He tilts his head to one side, a small smile revealing a dimple that makes you melt a little. “Let you go? We’ve only just started, little dove.”
The fear starts to come back again as he shifts to untie your ankles. “Please don’t do this.”
He kisses up your thighs and speaks between kisses. “Sshhhh…let me make you feel good and then you can go home.”
You should kick or flail or do something, you had your best chance just seconds ago, but his warm, soft kisses had you too distracted. You start to think this man wouldn’t actually hurt you. But he is hurting you by forcing you to be here in the first place, isn’t he?
You look down at him to see him lying beside you, head propped in one hand near your hip as the other trails up and down your legs. His features are soft, eyes wholly focused on the tiny goosebumps he’s leaving on his skin. His hand slips between your thighs and tries to part your legs, you’re suddenly unsure if you’re squeezing them together to ease the throbbing of your clit or out of fear.
“Open your legs for me, little dove.” He says as he kisses the tops of your thighs.
You shake your head as the tears you were holding in roll down your cheeks. He’s right near your knees now, you could draw one up into his jaw, but those big chocolate eyes are looking up at you so lovingly.
He get up, walks towards the end of the bed and grabs your ankles. Like the flip of a switch, his look turns harsh and angry before he pulls you to the edge of the bed. Your skirt hikes up around your waist from the motion and he licks his lips as he wedges his body between your knees, spreading you apart enough for him to see you glistening for him.
“Tsk, tsk.” He says while shaking his head and lowering himself slowly between your legs. “Walking alone at night, in this little skirt with no panties?”
He lowers himself between your thighs and you begin to realize just how broad he is as your leg muscles cry out from the stretch. The rest of the room comes into view. There are handcuffs and ropes, along with paddles and whips hanging on the wall. There was no escaping this man, and your curiosity is peaked by the ropes you notice around the bed frame.
“Perhaps you’re not a little dove after all.” He taunts, looking at your wide eyes as they take in the room. He’s going to take what he wants from you and you barely fought it. You’re enjoying his words and touches, even more so now that you see how incredibly handsome he is.
“Please.” You whimper, making eye contact with your captor. Though you aren’t sure if it’s a plea to stop or keep going.
“You look even more gorgeous spread out for me like this. So wet. And warm.” He’s looking at your cunt like it’s the newest wonder of the world. “Doesn’t look like she has gotten the attention she needs lately. Does your boyfriend not know what he’s doing?”
His warm breath hits your core as he speaks, sending waves of warmth from the base of your spine out to your fingertips.
“He….” you aren’t sure what to say. You love your boyfriend, “he does. He just isn’t…skilled.”
A gentle kiss is placed on your mound, right above the spot that’s aching for attention. “Poor baby. Do you need me to take care of it, little dove?”
You clamp your eyes shut. You shouldn’t. This is wrong. But your traitorous pussy has other plans and you very quietly whisper yes.
His mouth is on your before you can even process what you just agreed to. A flat, wet tongue laps from your entrance to your clit a few times before he sucks your clit into his mouth. He groans deeply as he tastes you, sending a rumble straight through you. You cry out loudly and arch your back, pushing yourself into him.
“Good girl.” He says before doing it again. “I want to hear you enjoy it.”
His mouth continues to keep you on edge. Rotating between licking and sucking, adding pressure until you start breathing heavily and then easing up. You’re right on the edge, but he’s not letting you over.
“Please. Please let me come.” You beg.
He stops, looking at you with a cocky smirk, revealing that fucking dimple again. “That boyfriend of yours has been mistreating you, little dove. So worked up.”
You let a whine when he stops and begs some more. “Please. You feel so good.”
He slams two fingers deep inside of you. You’re so wet that it happens with ease and when he curls his fingers forward, right to that spongy part, you start to feel like your bones are dissolving.
“F-fuuuuuck,” you gasp.
His tongue begins to flick against your clit again, gently at first as he works you with his fingers. You can feel your arousal dripping down his hand and pooling under your ass. He starts applying more pressure with his tongue and you know that he’s going to make you come. Hard. And with your hands still tied behind your back you won’t be able to push him away when you become too sensitive. Too overly stimulated.
“Come on my little dove,” he says between licks. “Show me how good this feels.”
Your orgasm hits with a force you have never felt before. Electricity feels like it courses through your entire body and you scream out to the room, legs shaking as you cover his hand and mouth with your arousal. He doesn’t let up, sucking and licking as your orgasm feels like it lasts forever. Finally, you can’t take it anymore and you try to roll away.
“S-Stop. S’too much,” you gasp. “Please.”
He pulls his fingers from you, pinning your hips down with his forearm making you a prisoner to his tongue. He’s going to make you come again.
“I can’t,” you huff as you try to escape.
“Ssh, little dove. You can take it.” He keeps sucking and licking your swollen bundle of nerves.
Your body starts to shake, the word no escaping your lips over and over. You mean yes, but this man is overwhelming you with pleasure in a way no one ever has before, and you don’t know if you can take it.
He moans against you as he sucks, that same rumble from earlier, it consumes you and that’s what does it. You come again, grinding shamelessly against his face as he smiles up at you.
“Good girl. Fuck, I am going to ruin you for every other man. No one is going to make you come as hard, or as much as I will. Roll over.”
The fact that he’s taken you against your will is not even in your mind as you slide back into the bed to roll over. He pulls you up so your knees are resting right on the edge, fully on display for him.
“Such a perfect little pussy. And a perfect girl. Being so good for me.” You hear his belt and jeans hit the floor. Glancing back you see him naked from the waist down, pumping his cock in his hand. Your eyes widen at the size of him.
“No. It’s not gonna….I can’t do it.” You crawl up the bed to get away, laying flat on your stomach.
He climbs up behind you and hitches one of your legs up before aligning himself with your soaked entrance.
“Relax, little dove,” he whispers in your ear before gently kissing your neck. He pushes himself into you and you tense up at the size of him.
“You need to relax, baby girl.” He says deeply, “Take a deep breath. You can do this.”
You do as he says, looking over your shoulder at him and breathing deeply.
He pushes into you more, not breaking eye contact. “Good girl. Make room for me.”
He’s stretching you almost to the point of pain but you listen and breathe. The more relaxed you are the better it feels. There can’t be much more left for him to get inside of you.
“Almost there. You’re such a good little dove. One more breath baby.” Finally, you feel his hips pressed against your ass. He stays still for a second and you grind back into him.
“Fuck, stay still for a second. You’re so tight.” He gasps. Pride fills you that this big man can be brought to pieces by just the tiniest wiggle of your ass.
He takes a few breaths this time before he starts to move. He starts slow. Moving halfway out and then back in a few times. You need more.
“Fuck me,” you moan. “Please. Ruin me for other men like you promised.”
A hard smack lands on your ass cheek before he pumps in and out of you. He’s rough with you now, grabbing your hair and pounding as deep as he can after pulling out to the tip.
“You won’t be able to walk for a week.” He grunts before releasing your hair and spanking you again.
It’s euphoric. The perfect mix of pleasure and pain. You arch your back more and he lays another slap across your ass.
“You’re not a little dove are you?” He growls as he fucks you.
“No,” you breathe. Barely able to form a thought.
“Tell me what you are.” He says, slapping your ass again.
“I’m yours. I’m your desperate, cock loving little dove.” It comes out as a whine, your orgasm growing closer.
He doesn’t stop pounding into you. “Fuck. That’s my good girl. You’re taking me so well.”
You can feel your arousal soaking the sheets below you, and hear the squelching as he fucks into you. You arch your back again so he can brush against that spot you love so much. He reaches under you, rubbing tight little circles on your clit.
“Oh….f-fuck.” You coo.
“Yea?” He taunts, “You like that? My rough fingers on your beautiful little cunt?”
His words send another rush of arousal to your core, this is wrong. You shouldn’t like this, but you’re not sure you’ll survive if he stops what he’s doing.
“N-no. Fuck you.” You try to sound mad but it hits his ears in breathy moans.
“My perfect girl.” He taunts, “Come on my big cock. Squeeze me with that tightly little pussy.”
Your vision blurs as you start to gush all over him. Your whole body tenses as wave after wave of pleasure consumes you, moaning and squealing like a woman possessed. Your legs shake so hard that you feel like you’re in the middle of an intense gym session. Slowly you gain control of your body again and he’s right, you’re ruined for all other men.
“Good fucking girl,” he says as he pulls out and climbs up the bed. “You’re so hot. Open your mouth for me, little dove.”
He pumps himself over you as you roll on your back and open your mouth. His strokes and breathing become erratic as warm ropes of come hit your tongue and face. He lets out a deep moan as he covers you.
He leans in a kisses your lips, not caring about the come on your chin or cheeks, the biggest smile crossing his face.
“Let me get you a face cloth, babe.” He says with a little laugh.
“Thank you, Joel.” You say with a wink. “And please untie me, my hands are asleep.”
He laughs, “I would, but I’m just your unskilled boyfriend now.”
He gently wipes off your face before reaching back and untying your wrists. He kisses them gently before laying back on the bed. “Was that ok?”
You curl into his arms. “It was perfect, baby.”
“Are you sure?” He squeezes you reassuringly. “You seemed genuinely scared a few times.”
“I told you I was in theatre in high school.” You laugh to yourself.
He chuckles deeply as he rubs your back. “I don’t think all of that was acting…”
You glance up to see him smiling at the ceiling, clearly very proud of himself for making you come so hard. “True, I think we need to change the sheets.”
Another gentle kiss lands on your forehead. “I love you.”
“You too, Joel. Very much.”
———————————————
Tags: @wannab-urs
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thetriumphantpanda · 6 months
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Delicate | Joel Miller (Masterlist)
A TheTriumphantPanda & HellishJoel Fic
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Fic Summary | Sarah decides, with a year until she leaves home for good, that it's time for her dad to start dating again. Joel doesn't understand the fuss, he's more than happy with how life is for him right now, but decides if it's for Sarah, he'll give it a go. After wading through the dating apps, he comes across someone new, someone who might just be able to be the company he's needed all along.
Fic Pairing | Joel Miller x Single Parent F!Reader
Fic Warnings | Joel traversing dating apps, single parenthood, no age gap, rom-com vibes, slow burn, mention of food & alcohol, discussions surrounding being a single parents, allusions to controlling behaviour from a previous partner, Sarah & Tommy being menaces in the best way, smut in later chapters, pre/no outbreak AU. No Use of Y/N. Please see individual chapters for more in-depth warnings.
Authors Note | @hellishjoel & I are so excited to drop the masterlist for the fic we've been working on recently. We've been having such good fun putting this together for you all, and we really hope you enjoy it! You’ll be able to find the masterlist on both of our Tumblrs, and we’ll be taking turns in posting chapters, so if you want to keep up to date with posting, please make sure you’re following us both! 
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Chapters
Chapter One - Someone New
Chapter Two - Maroon
Chapter Three - coming soon!
More TBA
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joelscurls · 4 months
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a heart for melting
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pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
words: 2.7k
warnings: post-outbreak, implied age gap, themes surrounding child loss and grief, some angst but mostly festive fluff, grumpy x sunshine dynamics (Joel is a grinch & reader loves the holidays), reader is described as having long-ish hair
summary: Jackson's first annual Holiday Market brings about more than just cheer.
a/n: Merry Christmas @thetriumphantpanda; I'm your pedrostories secret santa! I hope you enjoy this lil festive take on grumpy!joel x sunshine!reader — I had lots of fun writing it 🤍🎄 🥧 🪵 🦌
Joel doesn’t want to be here — surrounded by garland and ribbons and so much unadulterated joy, it’s nauseating. No, he was forced to be here. 
Please, Ellie had begged, it’ll be good for you to do something other than patrol or drinking with Tommy. Plus, they’re too good to keep to yourself.
They, being wood carvings — the tiny sculptures of deer and bears and birds, tufts of hair and bunches of feathers drawn out of driftwood with the tip of his blade. It was only ever meant to be a hobby, a way to busy his hands after they’d been wrapped around the cold metal of his rifle all day. Something lighter, creative rather than destructive, an act of giving rather than taking. 
But sharing them with other people? He hadn’t been interested. Maybe he’d make one for Ellie or Tommy. Wrap it up in a piece of cloth and offer it as a gift for their birthday.
Not that he thought they were any good, really.
With the announcement of Jackson’s first annual Holiday Market, though, came Ellie’s pleading. “I’ll help you,” she’d bargained. “You don’t even have to give me anything!”
“Who said I would anyway?” he’d grumbled, digging his spoon into the bottom of his bowl of stew and sifting out a chunk of meat.
Joel despises the Holiday Season. He’d welcomed its disappearance with the end of the world. Because he had no reason to celebrate, with Sarah gone. Her absence stung like salt in an open wound on any normal day. But on Christmas, memories of her hanging her favorite ornaments on the tree and sneaking one of the cookies baked for Santa burned behind his eyelids. Left him heaving through hot tears.
The holidays had no place in his world, but they certainly had a place in Jackson. The first time he and Ellie had strode through those gates, they’d been met with that damned Christmas Tree, towering over the settlement like a beacon. And he hated it, hated the way it brought about that pounding in his chest and that spinning in his head. 
How could anyone find any good in such a poignant reminder of loss? 
Tommy says it’s about new beginnings, finding ways to be happy again. And what’s happier ‘n Christmas? God damn Santa Clause, hot chocolate, children singin’ carols?
Still, Joel isn’t convinced — not yet.
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Standing across the mess hall, at your table piled high with baked goods, you are far too cheerful. You’re humming some song with a jovial beat, absentmindedly swaying as you rearrange rows of gingerbread and muffins and scones — all of which are draped in white icing, like flocking on Christmas trees. You pause to wish a happy holiday to everyone who passes through. 
Joel knows he’s seen you before, flitting in and out of the community’s kitchen, always with that signature smile scrawled across your face.
And god, you’re so bubbly, taking to everyone you meet like a bee to honey, letting them in without a care in the world. Popping from table to table, making sure they have enough to eat. That they’re doing well.
It shouldn’t surprise him that you’re so…spirited, too. You seem to find the good in everyone and everything, after all.
It infuriates him, nonetheless.
Joel groans to himself. Stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans as an elderly couple rounds on him. 
He grumbles a hello to them when they approach. They offer him half-smiles in return, beginning to pick up some of the carvings laid out on the table — turning them, inspecting them.
“This one’s nice,” the man says to his wife. She hums in agreement. 
“You got any tigers?” the man asks.
“Tigers?”
“Yeah — I used to love ‘em as a kid.”
“Got what’s on the table,” Joel grumbles. 
“You make ‘em custom? I can offer some homemade jam in return — elderberry.”
Joel sighs in annoyance. 
“Don’t make ‘em custom. Got what I got.”
The man seems defeated, nodding and walking off without another word. The woman follows closely behind.
Just as they leave, Ellie appears. She sidles up to Joel and shrugs her jacket off. Pulls a chair up next to him.
“There’s so much cool shit here!” she exclaims, too loud. A judgemental set of eyes flit her direction. She glares right back at them.
“Do you mind?” Joel huffs, jaw ticking.
“Jesus, who pissed in your Cheerios?” 
“How do you even know what Cheerios are?”
“Don’t,” she admits. “I read it in a book.” 
“Of course you did.”
Ellie leans back in her chair, pulling an apple out of her backpack and biting into it. She shuffles some of the carvings around on the table. “Gotta fill in these gaps, man,” she says, juice dribbling down her chin.
Joel ignores her. He sneaks a glance at you; finds that you’re already looking. Your expression is unreadable, gaze unmoving as he studies you.
Despite your upbeat disposition bothering him, he can’t deny that you’re gorgeous: bright, beckoning eyes, siren-like smile — it’s like you’re peering into his soul. 
He didn’t think he still had one of those.
“Dude.” Ellie nudges him. He peels his eyes from you reluctantly. “I asked how many takers you’ve had.”
“Uh.” He pretends to think. 
“You have no fucking idea, do you? Too busy staring at that girl.”
“Wasn’t starin’,” he clips defensively.
“No? Well she’s coming over here, man.”
Sure enough, you’re striding right toward him, abandoning your post. Joel barely has time to prepare for impact.
He unconsciously straightens up and pulls his hands out of his pockets. He brushes them on his jeans just as you stop in front of his table.
“Hi there,” you say.
“Hi!” Ellie chimes.
You pick up a carving of a two-headed deer. His favorite.
“This is beautiful,” you coo. “The craftsmanship is lovely.” You’re running a finger along the grooves in the wood, holding the piece delicately in the palm of your hand — as if it’s made of glass, not wood. “You have a real gift…”
“Joel.”
“Joel,” you repeat. He ignores how sweet his name sounds coming out of your mouth. You tell him your name, and it fits you, he thinks. It’s pretty.
“How long have you been making them?”
“Just since I got to Jackson. ‘ts somethin’ to pass the time.”
You nod. Continue scanning over the intricacies of the deer. “I was never much of a baker before I got here, either,” you joke, gesturing back toward your table.
“Good one,” Ellie laughs. “You’re funny — isn’t she funny, Joel?”
In his head, he’s glowering at her. Outwardly, he feigns amusement.
“Real funny.”
“I’d love to see how you make these sometime,” you say, then, placing the deer back on the table gingerly. “Do you have a workshop?”
“In our shed,” Ellie pipes in before he can say anything. “You should come by tomorrow! Joel’s off patrol.”
He shoots her daggers. She pretends not to notice.
“I’d love that! I have to work in the kitchen, though. I could come by after?”
Joel starts to shake his head no. Ellie’s hand wraps around his arm like a vice grip. He stills.
“Sure,” he grits.
“I can bring some pastries, if you’d like.”
“Don’t like sweets.” 
“Oh,” you say, a little thwarted, but you’re undeterred. You shift on your feet. Chew your bottom lip. “Well, how about something not sweet, then?”
Your brows lift, narrowed eyes on him as you await a response. Joel still isn’t thrilled about the prospect of a visitor. Really, he doesn’t like anyone on his property that isn’t Ellie, or Tommy and Maria if he’s invited them. But you don’t seem so bad, offering to bring him food. 
He can probably deal with your sunny disposition in exchange for a full belly. Lord knows he went too long without that luxury, and he’d be a fool to deny himself of it ever again.
So, he agrees, the garbled sure less than enthusiastic leaving his mouth. Still, you don’t seem too offended. In fact, you smirk at him, wordlessly sauntering back to your table, sneaking glances at him every so often for the remainder of the afternoon.
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Sure enough, the next evening, while Joel is whittling in the shed, you show up.
You’re wielding a basket of savory hand pies, as promised, and Joel has to stop himself from drooling. They smell incredible. And they’re still warm, somehow, steam wafting off of them even after your walk here.
“Come in,” he gruffs, his nose following the scent like a dog’s as he trails behind you inside.
His set up is minimal: a rocking chair next to a bench, a couple stools he made for when Tommy comes by to play poker. But his works are scattered throughout, every surface in the small room cluttered with little carvings.
He settles atop one of the stools as you begin to wander around the room, plucking sculptures off shelves and awing at them with such genuine admiration, it causes something to pull in his chest.
Every so often, you make a remark about the details in a piece, how the fur on the deer looks real, how you can practically smell the replica evergreen in your grasp.
And something shifts — carried by your kind words through the stuffy shed.
Taken by the slight lilt in your voice when you speak to him, the almost-shy smile that pulls at the corners of your lips — Joel is attracted to you.
He’s following the line of your neck down to your collarbone, ogling at the exposed skin there when you pick another carving up off the shelf. And he feels guilty — he shouldn’t be looking at you like this. You’re just being nice, being neighborly, and he’s gawking at you like you’d have any interest in him.
No; you’re young, beautiful, could do a lot better than an old grump like him. 
He averts his gaze quickly when you suddenly set down the tiny, carved bird that had been in your palm, round the workbench and perch yourself atop the stool next to his. You retrieve a handpie out of the basket and pass it over to him. 
“It has braised rabbit and carmelized onions in it,” you explain, taking a bite and letting the steam roll out. 
He follows suit and — it tastes just as good as it smells, if not better. He’s salivating again, letting the dough melt in his mouth before swallowing. 
The two of you eat in comfortable silence, getting through the entire basket in mere minutes.
When you’re finished, you ask him where he’s from. 
The question shouldn’t feel like such a shock to the system. But after a year of being in Jackson, successfully avoiding conversation about his life before the outbreak, it sets off a panging between his eyes, a dull ache in his viscera. 
“Texas,” he tells you plainly. “From Austin, originally.”
You nod. And you must be able to tell that he’s not used to talking about himself — by the tick of his jaw or the lack of eye contact — he’s not sure. Because you don’t pry. Instead, you say, “you can ask me something.”
He nods. Thinks on it for a moment.
“When did you arrive here? To Jackson?” 
Unlike him, you do not grimace at the intrusion. Instead, you tell him: about your parents, their untimely deaths, the harrowing road that led you here. You do not cry, but Joel can see the pain in your shiny eyes. 
It’s inevitable; there isn’t a single person here who hasn’t been dealt a bad hand. But you wear your past like a badge of honor, like you’re still grateful, after it all, to be alive.
Joel envies your tenacity.
So when you ask him about Ellie, if she is his daughter, he lets the walls around him down — just an inch. He doesn’t get upset when he stumbles over his words while telling you about Sarah. He finds comfort in confiding in you, in the way you so attentively listen, quietly nodding along as he recalls his version of the end of the world.
“Thank you,” you say when he’s done, burying his hands back in his pockets.
“For what?”
“For sharing that with me. I know it can be difficult to relive it.”
“I relive it everyday,” he admits. “Everything reminds me of her in one way or another.”
“I understand,” you nod. He believes you do.
So sweet, gaze like honey, you are an enigma to him. He hasn’t met many people who are kind just for the sake of it — not in a long while. Maybe that’s why he’d been so bothered by it at the market. It had felt almost unnatural to him, bound to be laced with an ulterior motive. 
He’s still learning how to trust people again. It doesn’t come easily after twenty-odd years of rationing it like the pills he’d stowed. Still, there is something innate about baring his soul to you. Letting you in through the cracks in his battered being. You are safe, he’s sure of it; benevolence radiating from you like warmth.
It drips off your tongue when you ask him to show you how he does his craft — slips down your fluttering lashes. No longer can he deny you of anything — he’s accepted this swiftly — and so he obliges.
A half-whittled fox materializes from his coat pocket, along with his blade. He passes both to you and pulls his stool closer to yours.
He guides you, taking your hand in his, encouraging the press of the blade into the wood. Shows you how to round out a corner with a subtle twist of the knife. You’re a fast learner, Joel notes, attentive, taking every instruction like gospel.
The slow drag of steel, your fingers wrapped tightly around the handle; you’re so focused that you jump slightly when he places a reassuring hand on your knee.
“Doin’ great, darlin’,” he says, and your lips pull around pearlescent teeth. Joel feels as enraptured by you as you do the carving — the loose tendrils of hair that drape over your shoulder, the clinging of cotton to your soft curves. Though he hardened into stone a long time ago, he feels smelted in your presence. So he cannot help it when his fingers begin to drift up your leg, settling at your side as he turns his body toward yours.
The blade stalls, tip still stuck into the wood, puncturing the fox’s non-existent spine, and your face lifts. 
“Is this okay?” he whispers. You nod, gaze flickering between his eyes and his lips.
You’re so close like this; Joel can smell the floral perfume dappled along your neck, can feel your warm breath fanning his face. He has half a mind to stop himself from sealing the sliver of distance left between you. But then you’re sighing, placing the blade and the wooden fox on the tabletop. And it’s your turn to guide him — winding your delicate fingers around his wrist and settling his hand at the small of your back.
The air in the tiny workshop grows heavy with unspoken desire, a longing to disrupt; to create. Your body forms to his languidly, arms interlocking behind his neck, fingers weaving in his hair to pull him closer to you. And then your lips press to his — hesitant at first, then not. You drink from each other until you are drunk, breathless and giddy when you separate. 
“That was nice,” you whisper, and Joel chuckles. 
“Just nice?”
“Great,” you amend. “It was great. Better than I imagined, even.”
“You imagined this?”
“Yes,” you smirk. “On a loop since I first saw you at the market.”
He pulls you back in. Gives you another chaste kiss. “For good measure.”
“Joel,” you say then, “will you and Ellie come by mine on Christmas? I could even cook — it’s just-”
“Yes,” he’s accepting before you can finish. “I’d love that. As long as you make more of those,” he gestures toward the empty basket on the workbench. 
“That can be arranged,” you grin.
As soon as you leave that evening — sent off with a goodbye muttered between slotted mouths — Joel starts on your Christmas present. 
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